Run Like A Rockstar!

 

 

 

The Ronan Thompson Foundation is one of the official charities for the P.F. Changs Marathon in Phoenix, Arizona. Do you want to run for a great cause? All the information you need to sign up is below, just click on the link. I know you have it in you! If kids can fight cancer, anyone can run a half or full marathon! So get after it, peeps!

xoxo

http://www.theronanthompsonfoundation.com/node/257

I know I need Poppy, but I truly think your brothers need her more.

Got the sweetest card today. Thanks, Noah’s grandma. Made my day. xxoo

Ronan. I am at my office on a Saturday being very productive. I am online researching all the genetic diseases Poppy is going to be born with, because clearly she is going to die. I wish I could say I was joking about my past hour of “research,” but I am not. I had to stop myself because I was getting physically sick to my stomach. I wish my dark mind did not work this way. I wish I were still the naive mom who didn’t know anything about the death of a child. My mind likes to try to go to these dark places a lot. It is a full-time job to keep these obsessive, destructive thoughts away. But sometimes, I just have to go there because I get tired of all the fighting it. I am not naive. I do not live in a bubble. I know these realities, much too well.

Your brothers had a basketball game today. I drove separately because they were going to the ASU game with your daddy right after their basketball game. I was in A.J.’s grabbing some fruit to munch on for the game. Your daddy sent me a text that said, “Liam needs you.” I threw down my fruit and ran out the door, over to The Village to see what was going on. Liam never needs me. I got to the basketball court and asked your daddy what was going on. He said that Liam had a full on breakdown in the car on the way over to the game where he was crying about you and how much he wishes you were there to watch him. Liam was warming up and I gently went over to him and pulled him to the side. “Hey, Dad told me what happened in the car, buddy. I’m sorry.” He looked up at me with his big hazel eyes and I watched as they started to form tears. It took everything I had, not to break down and cry right there in front of him. I knew I could not. I had to give him a little strong pep talk. I think it went something like this…”Ronan is always watching you. He is always right her with us. I know he is so proud of you. I know he is the reason your team in undefeated this year, Liam. He is the reason you are playing basketball so well this year, because you get your strength, from him. I know you are going to go out there, and have such a great game and Ronan is watching every single second of it. Even though you can’t see him, I promise you he is with you.” He put on his little brave face and ran back out on the court after that. He had one of the best games I’ve ever seen him play in my life. I don’t feel happy very often anymore, but watching your brothers play on the same team, high-fiving each other after one of them makes a basket or has a great assist, makes my heart skip a beat. This little Poppy that I have growing inside me, could not have come at a better time, Ronan. We all so need her. As of right now, I think it’s your brothers who need her the most. They need her more than I do, as of now. She is going to be such a gift to us all, but especially to them. I know she will make the pain in their eyes, a little less.

I have to go to Costco today. As in, I have been sitting here for the past 40 minutes, prepping myself for my Costco trip. I still don’t do well in grocery stores. I wonder if this is a “thing,” with all bereaved parents. The fear of the grocery stores. I don’t have you to push in the cart anymore, like I would always do. I don’t have you to chase around the store, yelling at you to come back because you would always run off. I don’t have you to fight with over you wanting every type of candy, cookie or popsicle in the store. I get to see all the other mom’s and dad’s there with their kids. Where are you? Why are you not with me? I used to love our little grocery store trips, so much. Now I’m just the really sad mom, doing everything I can to push my cart as fast as I can through the aisles, fighting my way past the tears so I can see enough to get our stuff. Costco blows. But being without you, blows even more. I ended up not being able to go to Costco. I sent you daddy there instead, with your brothers. I, on the other hand, aborted Costco mission and sat at my little office desk and sobbed for about 30 minutes. Saturday was not a good day. I came home after that and fell asleep for a while. I got up before your brothers got home and put on my best mama face for the night. They had a friend sleepover which was a nice treat for us all. Sometimes, a third little guy in the house helps so much. I got to be the cool fun mom on Saturday night. Your brothers came to me, “Mom! Can you take us tee-peeing?” I looked at Mandy Bee, who was here. I told them to come back and ask me in 45 minutes. They did and I told them yes. So we all dressed up in crazy outfits and I piled everyone into our car. They were all 3 so excited in the back and giggling about our little adventure. I drove them over to a very specific house with a very specific plan. We weren’t just going to teepee anyone. We went over to the Willets. Those 3 boys are always up to something fun, and I knew they would get a kick out of it. Turns out, tee-peeing at 8:45 at night is not the way to go. The boys were outside and their mom was across the street at the neighbors. I let the boys out anyway with their toilet paper and they went to town. It turned into a full on toilet paper, wresting battle between 6 boys. I got to sit and watch your brothers have fun and catch up with Gay which is always the best. I love her so much. She misses you so much. All of her boys do. I’ll never forget spending your last Halloween with them. Your favorite holiday that is right around the corner. I can’t believe it’s almost here, and I don’t have you to dress up. Somedays, I still don’t know how I am surviving this. We are going over to the Willets this year. We didn’t last year, and your brothers were so upset. Your daddy and I didn’t think we could handle it. Your daddy still doesn’t think we can handle it. I looked at him this year and said, “We are going. It’s not about us, it’s about them. They deserve to have a nice Halloween and this is what they want to do.” He looked at me and said, “You are right.” So to the Willets we will go, while missing every single thing about you, as we always do.

I’ve gotta run, little bug. Quinn was home from school today, “sick.” I really think he just wanted a day with me. I’ve got to get some things done around the house, before Liam gets here. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe.

xoxo

P.S. Dear New York lovies,

Please stay safe. Thinking about you all.

xxoo

I am either allergic to our house or Poppy is a vegetarian.

Ronan. I really was not going to write tonight, but then I lay here with these thoughts swirling in my head and I cannot sleep. Please hold. I think I might have to throw up. I am back. Throw up I did. Disgusting. I think it’s official. There are two very logical reasons behind why I am still getting sick. 1) I am allergic to our house which makes perfect sense to me, but nobody else. Why wouldn’t I be allergic to our house? I, as a mother am living, eating, sleeping, barely breathing in the house I lived with you, but you are not here because you are dead from childhood cancer. To me, that would make any mom extremely sick. Or 2) Poppy is a vegetarian and is pissed I ate a chicken taco for dinner tonight because as soon as I got to our front door and was yelling at your daddy to hurry up and open it before I barfed all over our porch, I made it inside just in time to barf in our hallway toilet. Those are just my two theory’s though. What do I know, I am only a grieving mom and due to this I think half of the things that go through my mind, are not very rational on many levels. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to admit that, it just goes hand and hand with always feeling like you really do not know what you are doing, after losing a child. Nothing makes sense. The big stuff that I used to think was so important, seems so trivial. I often feel as though I live on planet mars and everyone lives a normal life on earth. I’m learning to become o.k. with that, but it still feels really, really lonely at times.

Today, I went to my very important office where I did very important things like start a fight on Twitter. O.k., I did not start a fight on twitter, but I got wrapped up in one and before I knew it, my impulsive side took over and I made some snarky remark where I compared someone’s else’s pain (which I don’t understand, because I lost you so sometimes think I know EVERYTHING about pain), to the pain of losing a child. I knew it was wrong to do, but I felt I had every right to comment because I as a bereaved mom tend to get so easily offended when I hear people complain about what I think is really stupid shit. I mean please, what I wouldn’t give in this world to have normal problems which do not include a dead child. The bottom line is, it was wrong and childish and I am very sorry. I learned a big fat lesson which is sometimes I need to step back and shut my big fat mouth. It’s never nice to compare pain but man, how I wish people would also just sometimes take a step back and just be thankful for being alive and in this moment. I guess because you were robbed of that Ronan, I will probably always be overly sensitive to living in this world where I see so many people taking the simplest things for granted. I, of course want to slap them all and throw you in their face, but it is not my place to do that. I am going to try to work on remembering that more. So besides my Twitter war, I was really productive.

I went and surprised your brothers today and took them out of school early. I did not tell them I was doing this because another thing about this world is it’s really hard for me to commit to things because I never know what state of mind I am going to be in. I did not want to tell them I was picking them up early, then not show up because I was having a day where I was shackled to my bed. Thankfully, I did not have one of those days today and I got to surprise them at school instead. I pulled them out early so we could go over to Fernanda’s house to watch Taylor Swift on Katie. They were so excited and happy that it melted my heart a bit. We arrived over at Fer’s house and Stacy and her kids joined us. It was a nice little pow wow of an afternoon where I got to watch your brothers run around and be kids, while also being with my friends. Your brothers had basketball practice so we had to leave pretty quickly after the Taylor show ended. We ended up meeting Stacy and her family for dinner but before we got there, I had to have a talk with Liam in the car. His teacher today, asked me if we have had his eyes checked. I told her we had, and that he has glasses that he is supposed to wear, but won’t wear them at school. I told her how we make him wear them at home, but getting him to actually wear them at school, has been an issue. I told her that I would talk to him about it, this weekend. Of course that meant tonight. I gently brought it up in the car on the way over to dinner. Liam got so upset. As in crying upset. He was still crying when we got to the restaurant. I walked with him and put my arm around him, trying my hardest to tell him how great glasses are and how important it is, that he wears them. He wasn’t having it. I had to bite my tongue as I was watching him cry and let me tell you, it took everything for me to say, “Glasses are NOT something to cry about. Cancer is.” I said it in my head alright, a few times. I thought about how that would make HIM feel, to have that said out loud to him. I decided against it and tried to work some different angles instead. We will talk about this more over the weekend, and hopefully I can have it talked into by Monday. I get it. He’s 9. Glasses will make him different. What kid at 9, wants to be different? He is already different enough by having a dead baby brother. You know how much this breaks my heart. I wish I could fix all of this, Ronan. I so with your brothers did not know what it feels like, to be different like this.

We were driving home and I pulled out my phone to show your daddy the new license plate I ordered today because my tabs are expired. They have a new license plate in AZ for childhood cancer, which you know I am thrilled about. I was playing with it online, getting ready to order my personalized plate. I typed in two options. The first one being FUC (Fuck you cancer) of course. I laughed out loud at that one. The second one being Ro Baby. I went back and forth for a bit and once again those brothers of yours, popped in my head. I made the decision to order the Ro Baby one instead of the one I really wanted, for the sake of them. Of course I wanted to get a rise out of your daddy, so I told him I had ordered the FUC one. Your brothers were in the car, too. They were mortified. Well, at least Quinn was. He goes, “Mom. Why did you have to do that?” When I saw how upset he was, I quickly told him I didn’t really, that I ordered the Ro Baby one instead. He goes, “Thank you for making the right choice.” It’s moments like that, where I am simply blown away by how sweet, innocent, and level-headed your brothers are, even after going through something like this. It reminds me for as much as I think I am doing wrong, I must be doing something right. They are proof of that.

I’m going to end this here now. My stomach is feeling a little better and I am wiped out from not sleeping well at all last night. I tossed and turned in your bed all night long. It feels so wrong, to sleep there without you. I love you, Ronan. I miss you so much. I hope you are safe. Sweet dreams, baby doll.

xoxo

Seriously, the BEST comment I have read in a long time. Thanks, Lisa;) Had to post it.

I too found out about Ronan and you because of Taylor’s song. I went to the very beginning of the blog and fell in love with Ronan. I watched you on Katie today and there are no words to explain the magnitude of this little boy. I read somewhere that he had a heart of gold, the same color that brings awareness to childhood cancers. Not a coincidence I’m sure. I do have to admit that at one point during the show I got lost in thinking “damn Woody is hot”…there I said it, and there’s no shame in my game. Other bitches were thinking it too!I am the very proud daughter of a breast cancer survivor. I wear pink for my Mama, and will continue to do so. With that said, I’ll add that, were that not the case, I too would be fucking sick of the pink ribbon shit, and secretly sometimes am anyway. It is EVERYWHERE, crammed down your throat, and damn, how many pink ribbon bracelets and shit does one person need? BTW, the pink ribbon that sickens people is the color of Pepto Bismal, which is used for upset stomach and nausea. Again, not a coincidence, but funny as hell nonetheless.

I have been involved with our local Relay For Life for over ten years, and even served on the planning committee for four of those years. I am embarrassed to admit that I blindy assumed that the money raised for the American Cancer Society would be distributed equally among various cancers and used in research. Sadly, after reading this blog, I have been enlightened about the fact that this is not the case. I did some research (which for me just means I read some shit online ;) ) and it basically looks like ACS spends more on advertising and party supplies than childhood cancer. Hmmm, good to know. I will now just donate my funds to Ronan’s foundation, and won’t have to force my lazy ass to walk all night to do so!

I have known of other cancer awareness colors, but never knew about Gold for Childood Cancers, and I am one of the guilty ones that never really gave it much thought. It is never discussed on commercials or in print, and the damn WWF has NEVER turned gold for childhood cancer, although children make up most of their audience AND those tacky ass championship belts that I secretly love are made of gold. I’m sure it’s some fake ass gold, but you see where I’m going!

I did not mean to turn this into a novel, and I don’t even know if you’ll see this Maya. Regardless, I wanted to let you know that, while I don’t always agree 100% with all your beliefs and everything you say, I respect you more than most anybody in my life, and I’m poplular and have a lot of people in my life, so that says a lot:) I have learned so much from you about so many things, and although I’m 43, I want to be just like you when I grow up. I now am more thankful for my boys that are considerably older than yours but are still my babies. I spend less time working on making sure I have the most perfect roses on the street, and more time just actually taking a nice whiff of the bastards! And if I feel like crying for whatever reason, I do it, even if sometimes it’s the ugly cry. And I have learned that it’s okay that the word FUCK has always been my most favorite word ever, because you have taught me that it is fucking versatile!

I will continue to wear pink for my Mama, but will now also wear GOLD for Ronan and his Mama as well. I will continue to follow your story and bring awareness to childhood cancer. I cannot wait to see you move mountains; you, my dear, will change the world!

Thank You to Katie Couric for giving Ronan such a huge platform. It was an honor to be on her show.

 

 

http://video.katiecouric.com/services/player/bcpid1778770226001?bckey=AQ~~,AAABWfWhrnk~,FtZztaNxIqTVkSb1ju2Ka7JVAY8r79nB&bctid=1925031436001

Katie Couric Tomorrow!

 

 

I hope you all can watch. The show that Woody and I taped, will air tomorrow. Also, be sure to tune in on Friday as well for the amazingness of Taylor! Thank you!

xxoo

RoTay Magic Everywhere

Ronan. These past few days have been a whirlwind in the most amazing way. I took the red-eye on Saturday with Melissa to New York. We arrived at about 4 a.m. east coast time and a car from The Katie Show was waiting to pick us up. We got to our studio pad, a.k.a. the only place that I find peaceful, and crashed out in the bed that feels like you are laying on one giant marshmallow. It truly is something out of this world. After sleeping for a few hours, we got up and prepared for the day. Melissa ran downtown to meet a friend and I met our little, Rachel, at Bloomingdale’s for some lunch and of course, fro yo. After that, I parted ways with Rach and headed back to the upper east side, where I was staying. Melissa returned soon and we met up with your Fairy RoMo and her husband at the MET. We spent the day in the most glorious way, with not real plan. We enjoyed art, friends, laughter, and a ton of good food while we waited for the other girls to arrive. Later that night, Stacy and Fernanda arrived. We had made plans to meet up with our Fairy RoMo for dinner and I was dying for some good chinese food. Stacy, Fernanda, Melissa and I hopped on the subway and made our way to China town. We met up with our friends and I was so excited to introduce everyone. The introductions were way overdue and we had such a great night enjoying each other and the most unbelievable chinese food that I’ve ever had in my life! Poppy was very pleased to say the least. It was late by the time we got home and I crashed out in our bed with Fernanda. We were so tired, but we were determined to stay up until midnight to download Taylor’s new album from iTunes. We kept falling asleep. Fernanda would shoot up out of bed, “10 more minutes!” and fall back asleep. I dozed off and woke up right around midnight. “It’s time! We can download it now!” I felt like teenagers who were having a slumber party, waiting to get the new album of our most favorite artist. We both downloaded “Red,” with one eye open and quickly fell back asleep. We had to be up really early in the morning to be at the Katie Couric show.

Monday morning quickly came. We got up really early, got showered, dressed and ready. We met all the other girls, at the studio. Stacy, Melissa, Becca, Carolyn, Rachel, and Fairy RoMo. Everyone looked beautiful and the producers put us all in the green room where we snapped pictures and enjoyed the moment that we were in. Soon, we were swept off to take our seats in the studio audience. We had great seats and were treated like gold. Every single person on Katie’s staff is an absolute delight. We watched the studio fill up with the audience. There was such a buzz in the air. The Swifties were there, in full force and so adorable. I sat on the edge of one of the rows and felt more nervous for the show I was going to sit and watch, then the one I had taped just a week earlier. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because I wasn’t sure what to expect. Maybe it was because for the first time, I was going to see Taylor and I had no idea how I was going to hold it together. Carolyn had asked the producers, if I could say hello to her and they said they would try to make it happen, but they were not sure as the day was packed. As far as I was concerned, I was just happy to be there, watching the show with my beautiful board members.
Katie Couric soon stepped out on the stage. Everyone went crazy. She is so darling and so good at what she does. She made some remark about how she knew who the audience was really excited to see, that being Taylor. She did a great little introduction and soon out walked Taylor herself, in the most adorable little goldish/yellow dress and sweater. She looks like Bambi. So tall, graceful, and young with a little bit of awkwardness about herself as if she truly does not know how beautiful she is. That only makes me love her more. The interview started and we were soon transported into Taylor world which is this world of all things sweet and salty. As in, the best combination of something ever. We saw the sweet Taylor who said things like, “I never want to be the girl who walks out on stage and says, Here I am! For me it’s always, Here they are.” Meaning her wonderful fans. I was floored when she said this. The self-awareness and the humbleness this sweet soul has, truly is remarkable. The salty/sassy side of Taylor played out as well. During a commercial break, Taylor yawned and Katie goes, “Did you just yawn?” Taylor quickly bounced back with, “No.” She has this totally adorable dry and spicy sense of humor that is so refreshing. It cracked us all up. My entire board was blown away by this girl who is so full of obvious brains, beauty and wit. She is one of the rare commodities of the world who truly deserves everything that has happened to her and who will never let it go to her head. In the world she lives in, that is so rare.
During one of the commercial breaks, I heard Katie Couric say to someone, “Where’s Maya?” They didn’t know where I was, but luckily Katie spotted me and I gave her a quick wave and smile. Katie whispered something to Taylor and they went on to the next segment. As soon as that segment ended, Taylor jumped out of her chair and came running up the stairs to me. I got up and gave her the biggest hug where I pushed back my tears with everything that I had. I just looked at her and said, “Thank you, so much.” We stood for a few minutes and talked softy about some things. She rubbed my belly and knew all about the baby girl that is growing in my tummy. She hugged me again told me she loved me and was so proud of me. I told her I felt the same way, that I was so grateful for what she had done. She asked how all the media was going and how I was handling it. We talked for a few more minutes about some other things. She knew about one of my secret plans that I have in the works that I have only told my inner circle about. It didn’t dawn on me, “how in the world did Taylor know this?!” until I sat down and had time to process our conversation. She said she was going to come back for some pictures. When I sat down, I noticed everyone looking my way and pretty soon everyone was whispering, “That’s Ronan’s mom!” They were waving and making hearts with their hands the way they always do for Taylor. It was such a sweet moment that I will never forget. Taylor did another segment with Katie and as soon as she was finished with that, she ran back up to me to take some pictures. We talked a little more. I asked her how she knew about my secret plan. She smiled and told me who had told her. She said, “You HAVE to do it.” I told her I knew and that I would. I love that she knew my secret plan and was on board with it. We talked about Poppy and she goes, “You totally have to name her Poppy. You’ve called her that since the beginning.” That made me smile, too. That Poppy name makes happy. I have definitely fallen in love with it. I told Taylor to tell her mom hello for me. She goes, “She is floating around her somewhere. I know she would love to see you.” I told her I would love that so much. She went back to the stage to get ready for the song she was performing. Everyone in the audience was so excited to hear her. She came back out and sang, her hit, “We are never ever getting back together.” It was absolutely adorable. Soon, the show ended and the girls and I sat in our seats, waiting to be told what to do next. Somebody from the show came over to me and said that Andrea Swift was wanting to see me. I was ushered off backstage where I waited for Taylor’s mom. As soon as I we saw each other, we embraced for the biggest hug. I couldn’t hold back the tears, seeing that woman. I thanked her for raising such an amazing daughter. We talked back and forth about everything. It was so strange as I felt such a strong connection to this woman who I just met, but felt like I had known forever. At one point, after she was thanking me for everything, she goes, “If I were in your shoes, I would be doing the exact same thing. We are all so proud of you.” Right then and there, it clicked. I understood why I loved this woman that I don’t even know. It’s because I know, she would die for her kids, the way I would have died for you. It’s because she has spent her entire life, after her children were born putting them first. It’s because she has fought for Taylor and her dreams, with everything she has. She loves her children with the same undying love, that I love you and your brothers and this Poppy. I could see all of that, just by looking into her eyes. That moved me in a way, that I will never forget. I will never forget the look in Taylor’s mom’s eyes and the kind words that came from her lips from one mom to another. At the end of the day, Andrea Swift, if in my shoes, would be doing the exact same thing that I am doing. Fighting with everything that she has for the rest of her life because there in NOTHING more important in your life than your children, dead or alive. I hugged her one last time and thank her again. I will never be able to thank that family enough for what they have done for us, Ronan, which is ultimately helping me to keep you alive. I will forever be eternally grateful for them and that amazing daughter of theirs that is wise beyond her years. One of the last things that Andrea Swift told me was that she thinks Taylor and I make a great team. I couldn’t agree more. I think many more beautiful things are to come.
After the show, Fernanda and I had a little adventure to tend to. We ran off while the other girls went and grabbed lunch. We were out for a few hours, having our eyes opened to an amazing world and we were so thankful to be a part of it. We returned back to the apartment, absolutely beat. It had been an emotionally exhausting day and we were both wanting to take a nap before the dinner that our Fairy RoMo had organized for the night. We laid down. Our plan was for a nap, but it took a very different turn. We ended up having about an hour sob fest over everything that has gone on, everything that we have went through. All of the love, pain, hope, suffering, and devastation of this entire fucked up journey of childhood cancer. She talked about how she she still can’t believe you are not here. How she thought even during your last hour, that you were doing to pull through. We talked about our day with Dr. Kushner and our pain and regrets with that. The why didn’t he tell us, you were dying? Why did he send us away with such a sense of blind hope when he knew, that you were going to die? She apologized over and over for not being there for the past year, but said she has been trying to process your death as well as my pain. She said she knows she has let me down. I tried to tell her, how she is one of the few people who has never let me down. How thankful I will always be for all she has done and how that I know when we are apart or when we don’t talk for a while, she is constantly thinking of us. I know this and I have always known this. Never in my life, have I had a moment of feeling let down or disappointed in that woman. She gave up everything to walk through hell with us and not once has she ever let go of my hand. I am so grateful for the time she had with you and the bond you two formed. I will always look at that as such a gift. We composed ourself, got up, washed our faces as our makeup was everywhere and got ready for the evening ahead of us.
We met up with Fairy RoMo, our board members, our “little ninja” Rachel, and Scott Kennedy from Solving Kids’ Cancer. It was a 3 hour dinner where my board got the chance to fall in love with Scott, the same way I have. He is the kindest, gentlest soul with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen, besides my own and a few other parents I know, who have gone through this as well. I sat at the other end of the table from Scott and placed him near Fernanda and a few of the other girls as I wanted them to get to know him. It was only at the end of the night that we played musical chairs and I went down to sit by Scott to catch up with him. Our conversations are always intimate, sad, and deep. At one point, I had fought back my tears way too long and it was no longer working. I sat, listening to Scott while I wiped away tear after tear after tear. I never feel vulnerable crying around him. He gets the reason for my tears, more than most people. That breaks my heart so much. I wish none of us knew this pain. I wish that none of us knew this pain but I cannot change that. All I can do is sit here and form my army, to try to change this for all these other kids who are going through this or will go through this. I am so glad to have Scott as a part of my army. He is invaluable to me. We all left dinner and the girls were going on and on about Scott and how wonderful he is. I smiled and said I knew it from the very time I met up with him in that little NYC coffee shop. I’ve got a great intuition about people. Some might say it’s a gift;) I certainly think it is.
I’m back in Phoenix now, where everything seems to be moving full speed ahead. It was a great trip in so many ways. As a board, we got to bond in a way that we never have before. It was nice to get out of the business side of this and enjoy each other and all Ronan beauty that is everywhere. Everyone is so proud of one another, which makes me so very proud. You are doing such beautiful things, Ro. Thank you. I’ve got some secret side stuff to take care of right now. Blowing kisses to you, fingers crossed because once again, I am just following my heart to where I think it is, you are taking me. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe.
xoxo
P.S. If you have not bought Taylor’s new Album, RED, you need to. It is breathtakingly beautiful, as is everything she does. I have not stopped listening to it, since I bought it. I have informed Liam and Quinn, that is Taylor month at our house and that is all we are listening to;) Team Taylor FOREVER!
P.P.S. Taylor- Thank you. For everything.For letting him live on through you and all the beauty that you are surround with. For being such a wise free spirt who is truly grateful for every single minute of this thing we call life. For letting the boy with the most beautiful blue eyes, touch you to the core. You have helped this mama’s heart to heal. I love you so much.

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Going Back to New York

Ronan. I am leaving tonight to go back to New York. Melissa, Fernanda, Stacy, Becca, and Carolyn will be joining me. It will be a wonderful very busy few days and nights with my awesome board members (minus 2:( We’ll miss you T and T). We all are very much looking forward to seeing our Fairy RoMo, Katie Couric and that sweet girl named Taylor. I can’t wait to get back to our favorite city. I have so many wonderful memories with you there that will never be overshadowed by our last day at Sloan. I won’t let that day ever get in the way of all of our adventures, laughs, smiles, and happy times where it was just you and me against the world in that great big city.

I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe. Thank you for all of the lovely people you have put in my life. I am so thankful to be sharing this with them. I love you, baby doll.