Fuels in the fire. Burn baby, burn.


I’m writing today to you all because I have a lot of fuels in the fire. I know I am supposed to be enjoying my family beach time, but being busy is helpful to me as well. First of all, last night I had the chance to go and look at all of the pictures that the amazingly talented, Emily Carroll, took at Ronan’s Fundraiser, and posted to her Facebook page. The link is on my Facebook page as well. I cannot tell you what an out of body experience it was for me to see all of your beautiful faces, most of whom I didn’t know, supporting us. I cried the entire time I looked through them. It is was beyond hard for me, to know that all of you were there because of the love you have for our family and because our little boy is dead. Can you put yourself in my shoes for one minute? Just take one minute, close your eyes, and think of your child dying. In that one minute, allow yourself to experience the pain I feel, my family feels, every second of the day. Take this one minute of pain and know this is why you all have taken it upon yourselves to inject yourself into our lives, when most of you don’t even know us. Take a minute to think about what amazing human beings that makes you and be proud of who you are. You all know there is more to life then the superficial things that surround us. You all get the bigger picture and you all know you are about to help me change this world and the way most people live with their eyes closed and lack of passion. You all have made me beyond proud and honored to have your love and support.
Ronan lived everyday of his life as if it was his last, without ever knowing that he would only get to be on this earth for almost 4 short years. Maybe deep down, in his old little soul, he did know this, which is why he made everyday a party and gave us so much happiness. He lived his life to the fullest, the way everyone should. I can guarantee you, if Ronan would have grown into an adult, the way he should have, he would have changed the world in some way shape or form. He would have had such a huge impact, as it was what he was put on this earth to do. Look at how much he has done with his life in the short amount of time that he did get to be here. His life was taken away from him, but I still believe he was meant to change it. I will never stop believing in the power of my son and his big blue eyes. The connection that Ronan and I have was so beyond deep, that it is beyond this life. I know it is him who is pushing me to keep going with his mission, his life, and his soul. I know what he wants me of me and every idea that I have, I am going to fight for it. Every goal I want to reach, I am going to fight for it. Every breath that I have to take, when I don’t want to anymore, I will fight for it. He is surrounding me still and I cannot rest until things in this world start to change. Ronan wants to be the voice for childhood cancer, so someday, children will not have to suffer and lose their lives the way he did. Ronan wants all parents to know that you should never take a day for granted with your kids and that the little stuff, really does not matter. He wants to help make parents, better parents. He wants all children to be loved as much as he was, because he knows how precious life is and he would give anything to be back here with us, where he was loved every second of his life. I gave my whole heart, body, mind and soul, to Ronan from the time he was born. I think deep down, I knew that I wasn’t going to get to have him forever which is why our connection was so deep and so different. I gave him a lifetime of love in his almost 4 short years that he was here. I will forever be heartbroken and feel like we were robbed of the most amazing child, but that his fight has to continue on.
Back to my fuels in the fire. I have a lot of things to take care of in regards to Ronan’s Foundation when we get back to Arizona. I am going to pour my heart and soul into it. Some things that I want to see happen are the following:
I want to make The Brightest Star in the Sky a yearly event. I want to make it huge. The amazing women who put it on for us this year are completely invested in our cause and for that, I cannot say thank you enough. I cannot wait to be involved with you all and to work with you to make it spectacular. I cannot wait to watch how it evolves and grows into something that everyone knows about and I have all of you beautiful woman to thank for getting this started. This would have not happened without you and for that I will forever be grateful.
I want to find a big voice for Childhood Cancer. People worship the power of celebrities so much, and as much power as they have, why hasn’t anyone stepped up to the plate to start a movement for Childhood Cancer? I know a lot of celebrities support St. Judes, which is amazing, by why not just Childhood Cancer in general??
Also, Yoplait. They change all of their lid colors to pink in October, which is also amazing, so why not Yellow for the month of September for Childhood Cancer Awareness?? I don’t have their contact info yet, so if anyone knows of it, please email me at mayawoody@gmail.com
I think the more people they hear from, the more they would be willing to listen. A movement has to start and it has to start now. The sooner the better as we all know when  you are dealing with Childhood Cancer, time is not on your side.
Lastly, I wanted to tell you that last night I did dream of Ronan. I could cry just telling you about it. I was pushing him on a raft, he had hair, and he was laughing and happy. In my dream, he was alive, but I was also talking to people about his death. My childhood friends, Missy and Mandy were in it and we were on Missy’s farm with Ronan running around. My friend, Lisa, was in it and I was hugging her about Ronan dying. It was a dream where life and death both existed, but they were both beautiful. I am so thankful for my dream last night and I didn’t take my Ambien to go to sleep. I didn’t fall asleep until about 3 a.m. but at least I got to see my sweet baby boy. It was the best thing to happen to me in a long time.
That is all for today my friends. I have been getting a lot of emails also about getting bracelets to out of state peeps. Once I figure this out, I promise I will let you know. Just give me a few days:) Thanks for your support and love, always. Have a good day, my friends. Love you all.
xoxo
Advertisements

20 thoughts on “Fuels in the fire. Burn baby, burn.

  1. Glenda

    Maya, I contacted someone I know that has worked with Yoplait to see if I can get the contact info for you.

    I saw all of the pictures and I was there. It was amazing. A beautiful benefit for a beautiful blue eyed Rockstar!!!

    Can’t wait to some day meet you!
    XO

  2. Toni Collins

    Oh Maya – I’m so happy that you dreamed about Ronan last night! We don’t know each other – I’ve been wanting to comment for a while, but I never seem to know what to write. I think about you all every day – all day. I’m very sorry that you and your family had to go through this. Cancer is such an awful thing – I’ve lost too many friends and family members to this dreadful disease, my dad being one of them. I’m so sorry Ronan died, Maya.

    FUCK YOU CANCER!!!

    Love and Hugs from Texas,

    Toni

  3. Amber

    You are amazing. So happy that you got to dream of Ronan. Even though he is not here on this earth anymore, he is still so strong in your heart and the both of you, along with Woody, Liam, and Quinny will change the world!!! People will know about Childhood Cancer because of the Thompson family and all of your Rockstar Fans!!!

  4. HR

    You and your family and the way you write are so addicting! LOVE LOVE LOVE!

    How should we word about getting the Childhood Cancer Spokesperson (sp?)… just a quick line? Maybe if there are enough of us who do it she’ll get the hint??

  5. Laura

    So proud you sound so strong. You are taking action. You truly amaze me. I am so glad that Ronan came to you last night, know that he is always there for you and is alive in your heart. Our thoughts and prayers are with your entire family.

  6. Annie :)

    My grandma passed away yesterday from lung cancer, and yet all I can think about is your lil Ro, she lived her life and has family waiting in heaven for her, he didn’t get his chance! How unfair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Here’s a song I dedicate to you from Ronan, I hope that’s ok

  7. Brandie

    Maya,
    I have an idea. If you write something that all of us loyal blog followers could post to our facebook pages word will get out like an out of control wildfire. You have no idea who people might know that can help us with your fight. You are the most powerful women I know and I can say that without having ever met you. I for one would love to spearhead a Brightest Star in the Sky event in Denver, Colorado and I know that there are others out there in different states that would like to do the same thing. You have touched the souls of so many of us and inspired us to fight for our children no matter what. Sending you my light and love!!

  8. Karen Gascón

    Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That signifies nothing. For us believing physicists the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion. ~Albert Einstein

    Maya, as I read your words describing your dream with Ronan the tears were flowing. Unlike the tears of heartache which so many of us have shared with you on this journey, these were tears of happiness. Like the ancients, I believe with all my heart and soul that dreams are not separate from reality. To the contrary, they are windows into the mystic. As confusing as the life/death awareness must have seemed to you in your dream, I believe that Ronan was communicating a profound message to you. The most important message of all which is that the world of the living and the dead are not separate. Like your dream they are interconnected, winding around one another like ribbons. Energy is transient and Ronan is very much alive, just on another plane; a plane which is closer than we think. In your heart you already know this. How else would you recognize the significance of the hummingbird, the seal image, and the signs in Laguna? Your beautiful old soul, Ronan, felt a need to reinforce this and communicate it to you through your dream. He will always surround you with his energy and light. The poet RW Raymond said “Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.” I am constantly sending you and yours love, light, and healing energy across this enchanted desert. May you find peace in your dreams. ♥

  9. Jaime Harris

    Best wishes in all of your plans! It’s so awesome all that you want to accomplish! I am continuing to pray for you! Glad you dreamed of your sweet boy last night too 🙂 God bless…

  10. Alyssa Crews

    So thankful you got to dream about Ronan. I’ve been hoping for that. I hope there are many more happy dreams of him to come. When I see all the pink, I always feel bittersweet about it. I’m thankful that there is so much awareness for breast cancer, but I’m saddened that there isn’t that same amount of awareness and passion for childhood cancer in the world. I’ve jumped on the bandwagon and I’m ready to help you do anything to change this. Thanks. Believing…
    Alyssa

  11. Julie

    Maya’s mafia – “like” BWR Public Relations on facebook. Bombard there wall with links of rockstarronan.com on BWR Public Relations wall. Enough of you do it…this will get their attention. BWR markets themselves at the “Voice of Change”. Cancer CAN’T win anymore!!!!

    http://www.bwr-pr.com/index.php?key=social

  12. J

    Children everywhere do change lives..Children are God’s gift to us.. Always listen to their words, always listen heart. Good please read it. Here is a sweet tender story, so very similar to little Ro’s I cried while reading it.

    Wish For You, A Sandpiper

    by Robert Peterson

    She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.

    I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something and looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

    “Hello,” she said.

    I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

    “I’m building,” she said.

    “I see that. What is it?” I asked, not really caring.
    “Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand.”

    That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.

    A sandpiper glided by.

    “That’s a joy,” the child said.

    “It’s a what?”

    “It’s a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy.”

    The bird went gliding down the beach. Good-bye joy, I muttered to myself, hello pain, and turned to walk on. I was depressed, my life seemed completely out of balance.

    “What’s your name?” She wouldn’t give up.

    “Robert,” I answered. “I’m Robert Peterson.”

    “Mine’s Wendy… I’m six.”

    “Hi, Wendy.”

    She giggled. “You’re funny,” she said.

    In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on.

    Her musical giggle followed me.

    “Come again, Mr.. P,” she called. “We’ll have another happy day.”

    The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings, and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater. I need a sandpiper, I said to myself, gathering up my coat.

    The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me.. The breeze was chilly but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.

    “Hello, Mr. P,” she said. “Do you want to play?”

    “What did you have in mind?” I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

    “I don’t know. You say.”

    “How about charades?” I asked sarcastically.

    The tinkling laughter burst forth again. “I don’t know what that is.”

    “Then let’s just walk.”

    Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face.
    “Where do you live?” I asked.

    “Over there.” She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

    Strange, I thought, in winter.

    “Where do you go to school?”

    “I don’t go to school. Mommy says we’re on vacation”

    She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

    Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.

    “Look, if you don’t mind,” I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, “I’d rather be alone today.” She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.

    “Why?” she asked.

    I turned to her and shouted, “Because my mother died!” and thought, My God, why was I saying this to a little child?

    “Oh,” she said quietly, “then this is a bad day.”

    “Yes,” I said, “and yesterday and the day before and — oh, go away!”

    “Did it hurt?” she inquired.

    “Did what hurt?” I was exasperated with her, with myself.

    “When she died?”

    “Of course it hurt!” I snapped, misunderstanding,
    wrapped up in myself. I strode off.

    A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t there. Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

    “Hello,” I said, “I’m Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was.”

    “Oh yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I’m afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies.”

    “Not at all! she’s a delightful child.” I said, suddenly realizing
    that I meant what I had just said.

    “Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia
    Maybe she didn’t tell you.”

    Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.

    “She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn’t say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly…” Her voice faltered, “She left something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?”

    I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with “MR. P” printed in bold childish letters.. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues — a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:

    A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

    Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy’s mother in my arms. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” I uttered over and over, and we wept together. The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words — one for each year of her life — that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love.

    A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand
    — who taught me the gift of love.

    NOTE: This is a true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It happened over 20 years ago and the incident changed his life forever. It serves as a reminder to all of us that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other. The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less.

    Life is so complicated, the hustle and bustle of everyday traumas can make us lose focus about what is truly important
    or what is only a momentary setback or crisis..

    This week, be sure to give your loved ones an extra hug, and by all means, take a moment… even if it is only ten seconds, to stop and smell the roses.

    This comes from someone’s heart, and is read by many
    and now I share it with you..

    ;
    May God Bless everyone who receives this! There are NO coincidences!

    Everything that happens to us happens for a reason. Never brush aside anyone as insignificant. Who knows what they can teach us?

    I wish for you, a sandpiper.

    Wish For You, A Sandpiper

    I

    ;

    I

  13. Catherine

    I was with my two year old this afternoon working on a puzzle that had numbers in it. As he was holding the number “8” and I was explaining how to recognize it, a little hummingbird flew within eye distance from us in the window, about 2 feet away. It took my breath away. Combining what you previously mentioned about the hummingbird’s wing movement and symbolism, it wasn’t happenstance that that moment happened. Ronan is everywhere. Spreading his message. We are with you in this fight! So, so happy to see how you’ve found the fire in your belly. Let us help keep it going!

  14. Leona

    You saw him. You finally saw him!!! Maya, I am so happy for you!
    You know I happened to read a few of the other comments that were left, and one in particular struck me.
    Karen Gascon’s interpretation of your dream sent chills up my spine. I beleive she is spot on. Ronan sent you a message that yes, he really is here with you. How spectacular of a gift.

    Best part of my day was checking in on you and seeing this news!

    Sweet dreams tonight my friend.

    Leona~
    XOX

  15. jennifer

    This is just an idea but ive taken alot of sleep meds over the yrs including ambien. My doc believes they tend 2 repress dreams. Ur ronan dream when u didnt take it makes sense with this.

  16. Pingback: Top Posts — WordPress.com

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s