Fucking Hot Lava


Ronan. The days without you are so long. It feels like you’ve been gone forever. I didn’t sleep well last night, despite the help of my Ambien. I fell asleep around 1:30 and awoke bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at 6 a.m. I didn’t have anything of importance to do and everyone else was asleep. I showered and headed out the door 2 hours early for my therapist appointment. I wasn’t sure how I was going to kill the time, but I was restless. There was a little light on in my car that said something about one of light needing to be fixed. Normally, I would have put off this annoying errand for a month. Today, I couldn’t get to the dealership fast enough. I dropped off my car and was told to wait inside. Once inside, I headed for the Starbucks coffee line. The barista was having trouble today as her credit card machine was not working. I sat and patiently waited as she complained about this for 5 minutes and huffed and puffed about how it was the worst day ever. I wanted to reach across the counter and strangle her. If she only knew. I left a few of your Rockstar Ronan cards on her table so maybe she would see them and out of curiosity, she would Google you. Then maybe, just maybe, baby; you could teach her what the worst day of your life really looks like.

My car was soon ready and I pounced out the door to head over to see my therapist Sarah. We had a really good session. She is so sad. She reads this blog so she knows the connection you and I have. I feel like she knows you. She gets it so it is very easy for me to talk to her. We talked about you the entire time. How you were such an old soul. How you had taught me so much in such a short amount of time. We talked about your afterlife and if I ever thought I would see you again. I cried a bit, but told her I am mostly just numb. I told her how I am just waiting for my breakdown to happen as it hasn’t yet. I told her I feel like as I’ve grieved for 8 months now and now that it is over; I’m not sure what to do as I am most definitely in shock. I cried when I told her how I hoped you were not scared at all right before you left. That’s one of the things that kills me most; to think of you being scared. I promised I would take care of you forever and I hope you never stopped believing that.

After my session, I met my friend Pam so she could help me get your brothers their outfits for your service. I found what I was looking for and Pam laughed at the thought of dressing your brother, Liam, up in all white as his nickname is “Pigpen,” from Charlie Brown. Liam tends to get a little messy no matter what he is doing and making him wear white on Sunday should be interesting. We got him some Khaki pants instead.

Once I returned home, I came to find your restless brothers. They were begging for their new best friend, Luca, to come over. That is Fernanda’s little boy. They have been spending a lot of time with him. You would love him, baby. He is such a sweet soul. As we were waiting for Luca to arrive, I was in my room and walked out to find you. I asked your brothers where you were. My heart instantly dropped because I remembered that you are gone. I started panicking and it is very hard to be at home, in our house, without you. It all feels so wrong. I knew I had to get out of our house so I told the boys’ we could walk to Uncle Jay’s to go swimming. Fernanda brought Luca over and I took all three boys swimming. I jumped off the diving board for you and pictured you laughing at me. I saw a lot of you playing in the pool with us and thought about how different it would have been with you there. I miss you so much.

After we went swimming, we came back home and played outside. Heidi brought Luke over and pretty soon our house was filled with friendly people. It was good for me as I need the distraction when I am here. Your brothers and their friends played basketball with your Daddy and Uncle Jay. I sat with Fernanda, Heidi, and Tiffany and we talked about a lot of things. Soon, I became restless and jetted out the door just to get out of the house. Gay called me as soon as I was in my car and we decided to meet for a pedicure. I was nervous about it, as all the girls in the salon know you; but I decided to hold my chin up high and go in for you. You would have been proud. Just before I was trying to get up the courage to go in; Mr. Sparkly Eyes called. You must have told him I was having a hard time. I ended up sobbing on the phone to him and he did his usual listening and tried to give me his best pep talk. He asked where I was and I told him I was trying to go inside of my pedicure place. He told me in his sternest voice, to basically get my ass out of the car and get inside. I listened. I am glad I did. The girls greeted me inside with lots of hugs. It was hard; but nice. I then sat with Gay and we laughed a little and talked about you. She has not told her 3 sons yet about you being gone. They are going to be devastated.

I came home to your Nana, Daddy, and brothers. Danielle was here to to bring me Fro Yo and go over some things about your service with me. I was having her help me with the music and pictures. You cannot deny the feeling of emptiness in our house. Tricia stopped by and I went back into the laundry room to do something. Your Nana was in your room and I as I was walking down the hall, she asked me to come in and look at something. I took 3 steps in your room and SHIT. I turned around as fast as I could. Fucking Hot lava. Remember the game we used to play, baby? The hot lava game at the hospital and we could only step on certain parts of the floor, otherwise we would die in the hot lava. Well, your room to me is hot lava and I forget tonight. I am not ready to go in there yet. I screamed something and ran into my room and locked myself in my bathroom. I held myself and sobbed for a few minutes. Your daddy came chasing after me, begging me to open the door; but I would not listen. After some time, I opened the door and ran out into the living room and screamed something at everyone out there about how I didn’t want to look at Uncle Shawn’s stupid shirt that he is wearing for your service because I was not supposed to go into your room. I then ran back to my room and only remember your daddy putting me in my bed and sitting quietly next to me. He spoke about you and how much he misses you. I cried about how I just wanted you back. All I want is you back. More than anything in the world.

You daddy drew me a bath. It was extra hot tonight. I thought about how you would have wanted to get in with me, but it would have burned your skin, baby. It was a mama’s only bath tonight. I sat and looked for you. I look for you all the time. I saw you tonight. You were in the reflection of my white curtains that I had closed in front of my bathtub. I’ve taken a bath in that tub hundreds of times; and never in my life have I seen the light that flickered on the curtains in front of my tub. They have never been there. Tonight, they danced about and I reached out to touch you. We held hands for a long time. I told you how much I love you. I asked if you were o.k. You teased me with your dancing about and I could just hear your little giggle and see those bright eyes of yours. I stayed with you this way for a good 20 minutes. I then told you, “Sweet dreams, baby.”

I am now sitting on the patio with Quinny. It is so nice out tonight and the air is so crisp. I blew a kiss to the moon and told you I love you to the moon and back; because I do. A million times over. It is your birthday soon, baby. We will celebrate you tomorrow. We will celebrate you in the best way we know how. Whatever that means now. It all seems so very strange and very dream-like. Everything is still foggy. Quinny is cold so we are going to go inside in a few minutes. He is taking very good care of your “Gigi,” for you. It still smells like you. I love you, Ronan. I will see you in my dreams. G’nite my love.

xoxo

Dear Friends,

I know a lot of you have been asking about Ronan’s services this weekend. We have decided to do something very small and private for Ronan as we want to keep things as we know how he would have wanted them. Ronan never liked to be the center of attention. We also had to consider our twins in this decision as everything is very overwhelming to them. We have invited only the people that Ronan knew intimately, especially over this past year. You will be contacted via phone call, email, or text if you are invited.

I hope you know how much it means to us to feel the impact our little guy has had in our community and all over the world. We want to include you all in honoring him so we have thought of a way that you can do so. We will be releasing all different colors of balloons at his service at 7:15 p.m. on Sunday. We ask that you all join us, and release balloons as well. Lets fill the sky with love for our Ro baby. We know he will be smiling down from above at all of your beautiful faces. It would mean so much to us and I hope it means just as much to all of you. Again, thank you all for you love and support, especially during this very difficult time. One day, I hope to meet each and every one of you and give you the hug that you deserve.

Sweet dreams, my lovely friends.

xoxo

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109 thoughts on “Fucking Hot Lava

  1. Evette Jackson

    I love you and I wrote this for you to have.

    For My Mama, From Your Ronan

    The first feelings, the first voice of love I knew
    Arms of love, nothing that they couldn’t do
    Holding tight, forever making
    My heart nurtured, never breaking
    In the bonds of love made just for me and you.

    I heard you say I came and filled an empty part
    And life was love but missing me right from the start
    A world of love so fun and free
    I am to you – you are to me
    Mama, me and you; you know you stole my heart.

    When I left, I had to take that empty space
    Part of you to keep that fills the same embrace
    My soft hand holding your fingers
    The scent of me will stay and linger
    Keep these things and hold them tightly in my place.

    But for me, Mama, the hole you never really knew-
    The short time we got to spend so fast it flew,
    Is not again what once was missing
    It’s the part of you I’m kissing
    And the piece of me you’re wishing was with you.

    I brought that piece of you with me to keep me tight
    For when I look and see you weeping in the night
    I’ll touch your dreams while you are sleeping
    All my love I’ll feel you keeping
    Just as you did every moment of my life.

    Blue stars watch you and you’ll feel those eyes are mine
    Mama, do not worry for me; we’ll be fine
    I’ll be waiting, happy, strong
    All five together, nothing wrong
    Knowing always I’m the son who made yours shine

    I took your heart with me so I can keep you near
    So Mama when you think of me, please do not fear
    We will not be far for long
    And as you wonder where I’ve gone
    Please keep the love that kept us strong, I’m always here.

    You are loved. Always.

    1. MS

      Evette, this is amazing. So special, I’m sure Maya will be very blessed by this.

      Maya, count my balloon in, up here at Lake Powell.

      My love, thoughts & prayers going out to you and your family, tonight & every night.

  2. jen colvin

    Maya, thank you for opening your heart to us. You have given us perspective that none of us really need, but all of us should heed. You are an inspiration as a woman, as a friend, and most of all, as a mother. May we learn strength from you and live dignified lives as a result of what you have taught us. I will hug my boys tighter and be a better person because of you and your love story with Ronan. I am touched and humbled by your strength, love and honor.With love and deep respect, Jen Colvin

  3. Laura

    Count my balloon in it will be blue like his gorgeous eyes. All our love to your entire family. Celebrate his beautiful life, he truly brought more to this world in four short years then most do in a hundred years.

  4. Glenda

    Maya, thinking of you, Woody, Liam and Quinn but especially of Rockstar Ro!

    Happy Birthday Rockstar Ro! Sending you hugs and kisses! xo

  5. Dawn

    Count my balloons in too. Your little Ronan deserves the sky to be filled with the most colorful balloons possible!

  6. Unknown

    Maya,

    I just wanted you know that tonight on American Idol, James Durbin sang “Dont stop believing”. I thought of you and Ronan. Thought I would share, I hope this makes you smile!

  7. susan

    I will be releasing a balloon for little Ronan from Baltimore MD on Sunday at 7:15. Much love to you, your husband and the twins. ❤

  8. Amanda Kop

    Happy Birthday, Ronan. You will be hearing your birthday song being raised up to you by so many people…more than you could ever imagine. Thanks for visiting your mommy. Give her & your daddy a hug for us tomorrow.

  9. Kim

    Maya,
    You don’t know me, as I am sure that many of the people who have been following Ronan’s story are strangers to you. Last week, I saw Ronan’s picture as the profile picture of one of my friend’s on facebook. His blue eyes called to me and I started reading your blog. Tonight, while I was lying in bed, I began to think about him, you, Woody, Liam and Quinn and I felt my heart break and tears are still streaming down my face as I write this. Please know that even in the one week that I got to know your little boy through your words, he has touched something deep inside of me and that he will be remembered forever by a woman who never had the privilege of meeting him. Thank you for sharing your little boy me.

    1. katie

      I am another on that you dont know. I am amother of four, and love my children more than any thing. because of your story i see my babies totally different. I will live each day with them as if it is my last , and I thank you for that. my prayers are with your family. Even though I never had the privledge of meating your little ANGLE, I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM! thank you for sharing!

  10. Michelle Bunger

    Sweet Dreams to you Maya…You and Ronan are in my thoughts and prayers tonight and every night! I hope you sleep well…you are truly an amazing mother!!

  11. Amanda

    maya, ronan, count my balloon in, all the love of the world will be sent up to you ronan baby, have the sweetest of dreams, you are always on my mind, I love you all ❤

  12. Lisa Ferris

    I cry as I read this Maya, you do Ronan so proud. Please know that his life has touched so many people and as you release balloons at 7.15 pm Sunday, I will honor Ronan and release a balloon here in Sydney at 10.15am Monday morning, he will truly know that he was loved all over the world. xxxxxx

  13. Marie Brigman

    I got chills and then tears when I heard the song on American Idol tonight.What are the odds that he would sing that song tonight?!? Thank-you for giving us a way to pay tribute to Ronan. I hope to see many, many balloons in the sky here in Longview,WA!

    1. Teri

      My daughter goes to robert gray elementary school here in Longview she is 8 years old. Her class wrote letters to ronan and she came home so sad on monday after finding out about ronan leaving us. His story and life has touched her alot, Its touched us all. We pray for your family daily. You can count on our balloons going up too. My daughter is going to send a message to ronan with her balloon.

  14. LeRoy

    Happy Birthday Ronan. I will be Releasing a balloon for you sunday night from Rainier ore. Much love to your family and god bless.

  15. Marcy

    Here I sit at 1 am reading your post and praying for you and your family to find healing during this time. I took a flight from Phoenix to San Diego Monday night. As I was in the air I looked out over the clouds and imagined your beautiful Ro playing with all the other angels, including Layla Grace. I made sure to wave and blow them all kisses. My husband, twins, and I will each release balloons on Sunday night for Rockstar. Happy Birthday Ronan!! I hope you are surrounded by more Star Wars action toys than you could ever dream of.

  16. Rachel

    We will send Ronan up some ballons from Philadelphia – Call Google Earth now to take a picture, because I imagine the sky will be filled.

  17. Connie

    We will be sending up blue balloons from Riverside, Ca in honor of your beautiful little boy. My heart breaks for you and your family.

  18. Maggie

    Dearest Maya,

    I am also a peds cancer momma. My heart breaks for you and your family.

    Words escape me.

    Since I first heard about Ronan on FB a few days ago, I have been reading your blog and learning all about Ronan and your family’s journey. It makes me so sad and so angry!!! FUCK YOU CANCER is an understatement!!!! Please don’t ever stop being an advocate for Ronan. The world needs to be made painfully aware about what our kids have gone through. We all need to be held accountable for trying to find a cure. No child and no family should ever have to endure this. I am angry and grieving alongside you and your family. Sending you massive amounts of love, strength and peace. xoxo

    — Maggie

  19. Annie Johnson

    Ronan’s momma,
    yep still crying, still can’t believe it’s real, still don’t understand the why’s and whats. But I believe in God and I believe in ur love for your son, and without a shaddow of a doubt I believe you saw ur son today!!! Happy Birthday Ronan Baby, I bought a shirt today and I think I’ll have a cupcake to celebrate. Still crazy that I love you guys so much but I just do. I absolutely loved that u taught the coffee girl a lesson today!!! I hope u have videos Maya so u can always hear his laugh. He is literaly changing my whole life as we speak. I bet heaven throws one hell of a party, and I bet u 2day more than any other day u will see ur son, so soak it up babes!!!!!!!! Thinking about you always!!!!

  20. jenn

    Happy Birthday Ronan!!! I will also release balloons on sunday in honor of Ro!!!! So glad you got to see your baby tonight may he fill your dreams forever and visit you often !!

  21. Renae C.

    Thompson family, count our balloons in! And happy birthday to our”Rock-Star”! With much love and prayers, always.

  22. Lindsay

    Maya, your words make my day. I love you and your baby Ro even though I have never met you. Please continue to write.

  23. Maureen

    There will be beautiful balloon filling the FL sky at 10:30 Sunday night. Happy Birthday Ronan!!!

    All my love and prayers of peace to you Maya, Woody, Liam and Quinn.

  24. Angie

    Sweet maya! Ur courage is beyond words! HAPPY BIRTHDAY sweet Ronan ! U will always and forever be that special little boy whos made me really look at life in a different way! DONT STOP BELIEVING!

  25. LS

    I’ve followed your words from the other side of the world with hope and now with despair. I am so very sad that Ronan has now died but you should be so proud that you kept it together enough that he felt totally loved to the end. Reading your blog gives me a physical pain and I do think it’s my heart breaking a tiny bit, both because of the horror of what has happened to you and yours, but also the terror that it could happen to me and mine.

    I worry for you when it’s your time to fully give in to your grief but with all the love of your family, friends and we here who have never met you, and of course with Ronan ever-present, I know you will make it through.

  26. Farrah

    Dear sweet Maya,
    I just wanted to tell you that I had particularly prayed that Ronan would have no fear when he passed. I prayed that if he couldn’t be cured, then for his passing to be peaceful and for God to send angels to be with him beforehand so that he wouldn’t be alone or scared. You were with him, comforting him, and I am positive that the second you had to let him go, that there were angels that took his little hands and walked him into heaven, right up to God. I wholeheartedly believe that he was not afraid and I hope you can too. He wasn’t afraid of anything, he was a Rockstar!! The world is dimmer without Ronan, but I swear the heavens are brighter now. I think it’s wonderful that you have planned his service to be the way he would want. You know best. I will be releasing balloons in Knoxville, TN. With lots of love and prayers for all of you. – Farrah

  27. Lesley

    I have just been introduced to you and ronan….and have thought about him non stop it seems since….he through your words….and pictures….has added himself to my heart….and please know on Sunday….at 7:15 your time….on a street…in NJ…..my babies and I will be adding our balloons to the the countless others…..I will be hoping and wishing that at least one of those balloons will travel all the way up to where he is…..so he knows just how many lives he has touched….even a complete stranger in NJ….

  28. Therese in Ireland

    Your strength is very humbling Maya, you are an absolute credit to your family and especially to Ronan. I am so very sorry that you have to celebrate his birthday so soon after his passing, it is beyond unfair, it is completely unjust. It will be 3.15am on Monday morning at the time of your balloon release but you know what, your little man has had such a massive and lifelong impact on me that I will release my balloon to him at that time, by the light of the moon. What better way to let your little rockstar know that people the world over love him to the moon and back. I am praying every day for your strength, comfort and peace and for your entire family to be surrounded by love for ever more. Happy Birthday Ronan Sean, a beautiful Irish name for a beautiful blue-eyed angel.

  29. Alyssa Crews

    Happy Birthday, beautiful rockstar boy.

    I pray for some peaceful feelings as you celebrate your baby today. I can tell your love for him is so strong, you miss him so much, and great things will happen in this world because of him.

    Thank you for sharing. Always believing…
    Living life differently because of Ronan,
    Alyssa
    COLE Prayer Team

  30. Amy

    Happy Birthday to the most beautiful angel in the sky~

    You are so loved little man! We never had the chance to meet you in person, but for the past 8 months, you’ve been in our hearts. You will be there forever.

    We miss you and love you Ro!

    With Love~
    Amy, Dylan and Kennedy Hatch
    Xoxo

  31. marcy lyon

    happy birthday sweet, precious ronan!!

    you will forever be in my heart and will always remind me to never stop believing!

    i am sending lots of love to your mommy, daddy and brothers today. i know you are doing the same to help them celebrate you and make it through the day!

  32. Tina

    Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to Ronan, Happy Birthday to you!!! I know the angels above are throwing you a big birthday party!

    Releasing balloons at 7:15 tomorrow night from Lakeside, AZ

    May the skies across america fly high for Ronan!!

  33. Amy Sue Ross (Jevaltas)

    Maya and Woody – Will be joining you by sending up balloons at 10:15pm Sunday night from Connecticut in honor and rememberance of your sweet Ronan.

  34. RS

    “Life is a very complicated thing to understand. One minute everything is going amazing and going exactly the way you had always wished and the next, everything goes wrong and it makes you want to cry yourself to sleep.” Read this quote today and thought of you instantly and how unfair life can be! HaPpY BiRtHdAy to the most amazing ROCKSTAR…RONAN! You’re all in my thoughts…numerous times throughout everyday!

  35. Sharen

    I am honored to share my birthday today with your precious son. In a few weeks I will be cutting my hair for Locks of Love and I am donating it to them in his honor.

  36. SarahJ

    Morning Maya, Just wanted to let you know balloons will be flying on the East Coast Sunday night. I’m hoping that people know how to respect your wishes for the funeral service. That part should be private for you, Woody and the twins. Every morning when I read I notice how similar we are. Only you are 10xs stronger. Our passion about our children is the same. I didn’t realize you were around my age. I saw your pic on Twitter. I don’t tweet. Just curious. I’m glad you have so much support. I don’t know you directly but an old co-worker/friend of mine Ed Lynch brought your blog to my attention as well as a ton of others and I’ve been here for a whole. I wish you and your fam nothing but ease as the days progess. Tons of love and hugs from my entire family!!

  37. Tina

    I wanted to post again. The weather here in Lakeside has been cold and nasty for the last few days and suddenly today…the sky is bright blue, like Ronans eyes and the sun is shining bright! The smell of rain is outside yet the rain is gone, its a peaceful day. I dont know you, only the blogs that I have read for the last few months but somehow I feel Ronan is all around and todays blue skies are from him!

    TOY Ronan!!

  38. Patty O

    Happy Birthday Ronan ! Thinking of you today so much and your family…What a amazing special boy you are…xoxox to your mama, daddy, Liam and Quinn. I will be celebrating all day for you all. Kisses to you with exra lipgloss!

  39. insertwittytitleheremomstired

    You continue to do such an amazing job writing about Rockstar Ronan! I will celebrate his birthday today, and his beautiful life. A balloon from Colorado will be floating to the heavens for Ronan to catch.

  40. Cheryl

    Happy Birthday beautiful blue eyed baby Ronan. I know you will have the brightest birthday ever. You and your family remain in prayers. Maya you are an amazing woman…..how you hold it all together is beyond me. Keep writing, you are so inspirational. Count my balloons in, the skys will be alive with live for Ronan.

  41. Liz

    Our family will be releasing balloons and thinking of your angel catching hundreds of colorful balloons that are all fir him.

    And Maya, you are incredibly brave and strong to share your experience to the world. You have a world of support and positive energy shining out to you and your family.

  42. heather l

    as I watched american Idol last night james durbin sang “don’t stop believing” I immediately stopped in my tracks and ronan came to mind. the song just for him. then I heard the song “anyway” that lauren sang and it also made me think of ronan. the inspiration he has brought to us and always will. even though I live thousand of miles away in alaska my kids and I are going to release some colored balloons today in remembrance of rockstar ronan. My family is in love with him. We will forever have the Thompsons in our heart! Happy birthday you super rockstar! we love you!

  43. Heather

    Happy Birthday Ronan.

    I know your momma wants us to send you baloons sunday and i will. But watch for some today too ok . I dont want you to think we have forgotten your birthday so a starwars baloon and a letter that my 10 year old has been writing you will be heading up this afternoon at 4 pm. Big hugs lil man you are a shining star!

  44. Marilyn Sanchez

    Happy Birthday Ronan!!!

    You’ll be seeing our balloons go up too, ours will come from Miami, Florida. 🙂

    We love you big boy!!! Keep shining bright for us!

    Love,

    Marilyn and Sophia

  45. Kelly Chavez

    I just wanted to tell you that I continue to pray for you and your family, I will be releasing a whole car load of balloons in honor of your precious baby tonight all the way in Belen, New Mexico.

    Your blog has touched so many people and will forever be in my heart!!!

  46. Heather in Phoenix

    I am so glad that you’ve continued writing to us. I can’t tell you how inspired I am by you, your family, and especially that little angel of yours!! I think I just heard about your story a few weeks back but my heart, mind, views on life & parenthood have been so dramatically impacted by your story, Ronans story. I have asked my family and friends to donate in honor of Ro’s birthday. I am also congering up what I hope is going to be an amazing scheme for a fundraiser in honor of your son,& his courageous ass kicking fight!! I haven’t slept. You have been on my mind- I am heartbroken for you and soo soooo angry for the way Ronans stary had to end.. and it only adds fuel to my flames. When I find something worth fighting for I fight and it becomes close to obsession… reminds me of your letters… Ronans story is now my obsession. I have registered to be a bone marrow donor, and I am going to find ways to bring money in to KICK CANCERS ASS!!! No child should ever have to go through that pain and no parent should have to watch their child suffer and not be able to do a damn thing… I have so many things running throuh my mind and from one mom to another I want to hug you, run with you, and fight with you and with you, I want to scream FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKING CANCER & KICK ITS FUCKING ASS!! I hope that if my idea works out the way I’m expecting it to I will get your support. Hoping that today will bring you some kind of happiness, as you do deserve to smile even if its through tears! ★HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCKSTAR RONAN★ Sending lots of love, prayers, support, peace and comforting thoughts your way Maya!!

  47. Michelle H.

    Happy BIrthday sweet Ronan. I think that is such a beautiful idea to have everyone release balloons Sunday night. We will be doing just that…thank you for coming up with such a sweet way to include those that don’t know you (but of course feel like we do) in celebrating Ronan’s life. Praying for strength and peace for you all. xo michelle

  48. Michelle

    Happy Birthday beautiful boy. So many of us are thinking of you and praying for you. You have made more of an impact in your limited years than many people do in decades. love to you and your family.
    xoxoxo

  49. Amy J

    Thank you for sharing your son with the community. I cannot think of a more difficult time than what you are going through. You celebrate your son how you see fit, care for yourself, nurture your husband and twins. And don’t ever feel you have to apologize for your decisions.

  50. Marcia

    Happy Birthday Sweet Baby Ronan,

    I will also be releasing a balloon at 10:15 pm all the way from Brampton, Ontario Canada!

    I am so happy you visited your mommy today. Keep visiting her, your family misses you sooooo much and we all love you little angel!
    It is so unfair that you have to celebrate his birthday from afar, but I honestly feel hew is right there beside you giggling beside you like you will forever remember him. Because of you little man, I squeeze my babies a little tighter. I also love you to the moon and back!!! Play with the angels in heaven today and come visit your mommy in her dreams tonight, she misses you so much, we all do:)

  51. Kristie Harrington

    Maya, You can count my balloons in on Sunday afternoon… Sent from Stella road, Longview!
    He is going to love all of the Balloons! I will also be releasing some today for his Birthday! ❤ You and Ronan have touched my heart in so many ways, it makes me hold my kids a little tighter and love everyone more then I realized possibe! Thank you!

    Ronan, Your eyes shine down and watch your mama and you help her thru this unfair time, She needs you to guide her thru each day, Visit her and let her know your there, dance for her while she is in the bath, smile little man for you know that your mom loves you to the fullest and beyond… Your mama and you have somthing special that many people wish they had and you always will! One day you will be in her arms again, Untill then baby Ro you Shine! Shine on her and all of us! You are the Brightest star in the sky! ❤

  52. Keely

    Happy Birthday lil Angel! You’ve touched so many!!

    Maya, Woody & Twins ~ you’re all on my heart & in my prayers forever more!!

  53. emily

    Happy Birthday sweet Ronan. Your legacy lives on and your life has touched many people in this world who are learning to be more patient with their own kids, appreciate each moment, shine their eyes big and bright, love their family more deeply and be brave and tough when life is hard. We celebrate you today.

    Our family will be releasing a huge bunch of balloons from our home on Sunday night in honor of you. Catch them in the heavens!

    – Emily Snell

  54. Michelle Lewis

    Happy Birthday Ronan! My son Cade and I will send you balloons on Sunday too. Hold your mommy tight…she needs you more than ever now!

  55. Arayah

    Happy birthday Ronan.
    I will be letting a balloon go today for you for your birthday and again Sunday.

    Big hugs Maya and family still thinking of you…

  56. Jill Hill

    Happy Birthday Ronan, the brightest star in the sky! We will be sending balloons up to you on Sunday night from Chicago.

  57. BJ

    I found out about your blog and have been hooked since. I am so sorry! No Words. I would feel exactly the same. Did you see American Idol last night, opening song….Don’t Stop Believing. I thought of you. Praying for the best for you and your family. 🙂

  58. Paul

    Our son Wil, neuroblastoma survivor, is playing in the Arizona 5A baseball semi final today and is dedicating the game to Ronan. He is wearing an “R” on his hat and asking his team members to do the same and play today’s game in Ronan’s honor and memory.

    1. Annie Johnson

      So touching, so glad you have a survivor. I hope you’re still fighting the fight for others.

  59. Grandpa GoofE

    As my (nick)name says, I am a believer in Goofy, as in “the whole world is Goofy; it’s just that some of us (and some things) are more Goofy than others.

    (My wife, my family and) I express my condolences to you, amazing Maya, and your family, at this time of your terrible loss.

    THAT IS MY MESSAGE; what I want to say to you.

    I will not insult you with fucking hot lava or other games-talk about your son being “wherever”, ’cause I too have no explanation or justification for this awful, goofy, fucking hot lava, happening..

    The only thing I’ve learned to do(in the course of my 75 years) to combat this feeling of loss if to hug someone I love..and I trust you will/should do that now..With love and my sympathy…

  60. Nicole

    Happy Birthday Sweet Angel Ronan…. i am praying for your mommy, daddy and brothers to ease some of the pain they are feeling since you have been gone… As i have never met you, but you and your mommy have been a true inspiration for me and have inspired me to not take anything for granted……

    Fly high to the moon and blow us kisses below as we are dreaming of you and glad you are not hurting no more ….

  61. Donna Maasen

    Maya, Woody, Liam & Quinn. —
    Our hearts are breaking for your family. Ronan was a beautiful child and so loved. We hope the love and prayers of people all over this earth are bringing strength to all of you. Ronan’s spirit is definitely among us – couldn’t believe it when we heard the first song on American Idol last night. Please don’t ever “stop believing”. There will be bright balloons from Des Moines, Iowa, Denver and Scottsdale from our family released in Ro’s honor. Can you just imagine the broad smile on that little angel’s face?
    Hugs to all,
    Donna Maasen

  62. Melissa Sager

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY RONAN!! So so many people are releasing balloons between 4-7 pm tonight in kelso, lonvgview, WA…so keep your eyes open…but I bet it would be hard to miss thousands of balloons heading up your way!! We here will also release them on Sunday in honor of you!! Hopefully the amount of balloons will show you a little piece of how many hearts your have touched, and lives you have changed! Slot of us don’t know you personally Ronan…but we love you and your family all the same!! Happy birthday baby boy!!
    Love all the way from kelso, wa:
    Chris, Melissa, Kaleb, Devanie and Jaykob Sager

  63. Dana

    Happy Birthday Sweet Ronan. You, your amazing Family have made an impact on me that I will hold forever in my heart. Your mom’s words about her sweet boy inspire me to never take anything for granted and realize what is really important in life. You will live on through your mom’s words and in our hearts. Maya, your little boy will always be there for you, your little light. I will never stop believing. thank you.

    sending all the love and peace to you & your family

  64. Helen Corkran

    Happy Birthday Rockstar Ronan. Baloons will be going up for you in Crookston, MN on Sunday. Words cannot express the impact you and your family have had on so many people from all over the world. I feel blessed to follow your story. My prayers for your family will be for strength to endure the pain of missing you. Blessings always.

  65. Lilys McCoy

    Dear Maya,

    I have been reading your blog off and on ever since my friend Michiko wrote about it. Her daughter was also diagnosed with NB. Like many who have written here, I don’t know your family but have been touched by Ronan’s story. I just want to say how sad and sorry I am. My feelings are beyond words. This is horribly unfair to Ronan, to you, and to your family. I will say that I liked your reference to the Starbucks barista, who was whining about what was a non-problem. Your writing has helped give me perspective and reminds me to treasure my children and to just enjoy being with them. Thank you so much for sharing your soul with us. From reading this blog, I will never forget Ronan or your family.

    With deep condolences,
    Lilys McCoy

  66. Sonja

    Happy birthday Ronan!!! I know that you are smiling down on your entire family. Please help comfort them because they miss you so!! I’ve never met your family as I live thousands of miles away in St. Louis. But I carry them and you in my heart. My baby boy had to go to the hospital today for his MRI (he gets them every three months). He was battling cancer & going through chemo the same time you were. I carried your spirit with me to that hospital today. I thought of you as I sat and talked to the doctors. I thought of you as we waited while my son was getting an MRI of his brain and spine. I’m going to work with your mom to help beat this nasty, crazy disease!!! I may never meet her in the flesh, but we will join together in spirit to kick cancers butt!!! And guess what…..you are going to help us and guide us on this journey. I have learned so much from you and my baby boy. Isn’t it funny that you can learn so much from someone you’ve never met?!?! But we all joined this journey with you and your family for a reason. So keep your little guns handy!! The fight is not over!!!

    Maya-
    As always, I’m thinking of you and your family. We really are going to beat this thing with Ronan’s help. Thank you for letting us into your lives.

  67. Dawn

    Happy Birthday precious boy! I never did have the privilege of meeting you, but you will always have a special place in my heart!
    You all continue to be on my mind throughout each and every day. Praying for you always.

  68. Bo

    The kids and I just sent balloons into the air, in honor of Ronan. We don’t know you personally, but thank you so much for sharing a huge part of your life with ours. Our thoughts are with you all.

  69. cynthia

    Maya , Our family will release ballons for you Ronan on Sunday. Happy Birthday Ronan.
    Katie and Cynthia

  70. Jessica-June

    I will be sending up balloons from London Ontario Canada 🙂 I’ll take a picture for you and your family. xoxo

  71. marcy lyon

    maya,

    my sister and i want to know how the purple star tattoos turned out…we talked about getting one too! we would love to see pictures.

    i hope your day was manageable today.

  72. ursula

    we miss you little ro! please send your mommy, daddy and brothers lots of signs. lots of dreams with you in them.
    we are praying and sending love your way from houston. sleep tight baby boy.

  73. Holly Logan

    Maya:
    You are an amazing Mother! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!

    -Holly Logan / Embracelet Your Cause

  74. Alana Odem

    I will also be sending you balloons from Longview Washington on Sunday night. I hope to see a sky full of balloons from our area.

  75. Jen Gascoyne

    Happy Birthday little man. My family will be releasing balloons on Sunday for you – my son wanted to send up a Star Wars balloon and the rest blue – his favorite color – you are an amazing little boy and you will always be in my heart. Stay bright, stay strong, and take care of your momma – she is strong but will need your help along the way. God bless you Ronan – you truly are a rockstar!

  76. J

    I have a special balloon with a note inside. A special note for little Ro. You have touched my life all of you. Thank you for sharing your journey…your “Love Story” mommy and me.
    I have followed each and everyday for 8 months. I am a better person for knowing you and that sweet Child of yours. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILD WHO HAS TOUCHED MY LIFE.
    “Message in a Yellow Balloon”
    big bear hugs to you.

  77. Jennifer

    Maya, I have never written, though I have read your blog since august, and hadn’t planned too but something special happened today and I wanted to share it with you. I had seen the invite to release birthday balloons today from my friends keely and Julie’s facebook, and really wanted to but my daughter had an ortho appt at 4. We got there and these kids kept coming out with balloon animals. I went inside and the receptionist said there were lots of balloons because they were doing a balloon release for a little boy who had passed away. Yes, they meant Ronan. So after all, I got to release a balloon (it was purple) and also take pictures of the whole dental staff for them. I don’t believe in much, but after today, I’m convinced Ronans going to be involved in miracles, big or small, all around the world.

  78. Carolyn

    Maya, we will think of your beautiful, sweet boy every year on his birthday, and many hundreds of times in between. I wish more than anything that you find some peace from your heartbreak. So many hearts are broken with yours, mine included.
    Carolyn

  79. Lisa

    I am so very sad for all of you, and praying for strength and peace for you. Today our son Wil, whom you met last year at a Diamondbacks game and is a cancer survivor, and his Perry High School baseball team played in the Semi-Finals for the State 5A Division II State Title. They went into the game as underdogs, ranked number 12. Wil talked to his teammates before the game, and told them all about Ronan. They dedicated the game to Ronan, and won the game. They will play the State Finals on Saturday, and will dedicate that game to him also. Wil put an R for Ronan on his hat before the game. Just thought you would like to know this story about how he is touching people in many ways.

  80. Lisa Reinke

    Maya,
    We released balloons today at 4 in honor of Ronan’s 4th birthday. They were purple because we were told they were his favorite color. I don’t know you or Ronan but have been glued to your blogs. Ronan is a spectacular little boy but I just wanted you to know that you are a very spectacular mother. Your love for your son and brutal honesty is so inspiring. As lucky as you were to have him, he was as lucky to have you! Thank you for touching so many of our lives and for making us all hold on tightly to our children when at times we may take that privelege for granted. My heart is with yours as with Ronans.

  81. Beth

    We will also be sending balloons to Ronan in Heaven on Sunday night 10:15 from Pa! Rest easy sweet boy! xo

  82. Kathi

    Happy Birthday Ronan!!

    My family will be releasing balloons on Sunday from Lacey WA.
    Your strength and grace continues to amaze me. Sending prayers and love to your family

  83. Joy (Corkran) Gaeraths

    Happy Birthday Ronan! Much love to your family today…..I will definitely be releasing balloons with many others on Sunday in your honor.

  84. Robin

    Thompson family, I don’t know you personally but I’ve followed your blog since it was forwarded to me on Facebook. I am forever changed by your words, your strength, your courage and Ronan’s fight! I posted your blog on my Facebook page and asked my friends to please get behind this cause so that NO CHILD or family has to endure what you did!! I had been wanting to get a tattoo but was waiting for something to inspire me…so to honor little Rockstar, I think I will get a purple star..with the letter “R” surrounded by angel wings. And count me in for the balloon release on Sunday from Redlands, CA… Praying for peace, comfort for you right now. 😦

    Robin

  85. Eileen Friedman

    Maya,
    I am so sorry to hear about Ronan. I’ve been thinking about you and your family and trying to find the “perfect” way to write to you but there really isn’t a perfect way. So here is a bunch of jumbled thoughts:
    You are amazing and have been an inspiration through this whole thing and I’m amazed that you continue to be strong.
    I love how you celebrated Ronan’s birthday – Happy Birthday Ronan!
    I also love how you are going to celebrate Ronan’s life on Sunday – we will be there in spirit with balloons in hand.
    In short, we are praying for you and your family.
    Eileen Friedman

  86. Rose

    Count our bundle of balloons in too. We will help to fill the sky with color in honor of Ronan. I will be standing on Camelback mountain for the release. My whole family has been so deeply touched by the love that this beautiful child has brought to all of us! We think of you and your family every day.
    Sincerely, Rose

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