Deep breaths and amazing friends have gotten me through this past 24 hours.
We were admitted into the ER last night around 9:00 due to Ronan’s low-grade fever. I didn’t have to wait in the waiting room of the ER; THANK GOD. It was beyond packed, even at 9:00 at night. The doctor on call called ahead to let them know I was bringing Ronan in. As soon as we arrived, I told them our name and we were taken back into a room in the ER.
Ronan was really not feeling well and was so tired. He passed out pretty quickly as the nurses checked all his vital signs and drew his labs. My friend Fernanda sent me a text to say she was on her way to sit with me because she did not want me sitting alone. She came armed with Starbucks and a big hug. We sat for the next five hours trying to get Ronan into a room on one of the floors.
Fernanda was on a warpath—but in the sweetest way possible. There was nothing the nurses or doctors could do, as they kept telling us all of the rooms were full on floors 2 and 3, which is where we were supposed to be going. We used every trick in the book, and Fernanda even tried to bribe one of the nurses with some Oreos she bought from the vending machine. It didn’t work, but we got a chuckle out of it anyway.
Finally, around 3:15 a.m., the nurse said we would just have to spend the night in the tiny, freezing-cold ER room. I was not a happy camper. I said some not-so-nice words, but I have now relaxed due to Ronan looking and feeling 100 times better than when I brought him in.
Dr. Maze came and helped me out around 8:00 a.m. by using his very charming, stern words to explain that we needed a room ASAP. An hour later, we were whisked off to the third floor. Thank God for that man.
I got about three hours of sleep last night, and I’m sure Fernanda didn’t get much more. But guess who was here at 9:30 a.m. to bring me coffee and keep me company? She was.
Did I mention that my darling Fernanda has five gorgeous children of her own, all under the age of seven? Talk about an amazing woman and friend. Ronan didn’t even mind her being here, which is unheard of with him. I ran home to shower while Fernanda stayed with him. It made my day. He always throws a fit when I leave him, but he was completely fine with this friend of mine whom he hardly knows.
After I returned, Fernanda left, and I thanked Ronan for letting me go home to shower. He said to me, “You’re welcome. I like your friend.” So sweet. He also made sure to tell me how much he missed me and how he loves me to the moon and back. Ahhhh, little man. That more than made up for the recliner chair I had to sleep in last night and my seriously jacked-up back today.
He seems to be feeling much better, but just as I suspected, his ANC is at 0 and he needs blood. We will be here for most of the week, I suspect.
Fernanda, I’m never going to stop telling you thank you for being such an amazing friend to me. And stop saying it’s nothing—because it isn’t, and it means everything to me. I am so blessed to call you my friend. I love you.
Sarah came over this morning to help get the boys ready for school and to take them as well. Thank you so much, Sarah the Saint. Auntie Karen picked the monkeys up from school with her daughter Olivia and took them home to do homework and then get some dinner until Woody got home from work. Thank you both so much. I am so thankful that Liam and Quinn are in such good hands.
I am running on empty and have downed two giant Cokes, two coffees, and a ton of water—my typical hospital meals. Ronan is sleeping now, and they are getting ready to pre-medicate him for his blood transfusion.
I am trying my best to channel all of the inner peace and strength I have for this week’s hospital stay. I am calmer than normal, and it has everything to do with the fact that Ronan seems pretty happy to be here.
I found myself thinking selfish things today like: I so need a massage, a pedicure, a spa day, a bath, and 12 hours of sleep to feel better. It turns out I needed none of those things because just having Ronan acting somewhat like his normal self and being so loving and sweet to me made all of the whining and complaining I was doing in my head disappear.
I think he was feeling really crummy at home, and now that he is starting to feel better, I can see him coming back to me. He is comprehending so much these days for only being 3½. He is confused as to why we are on the third floor and keeps asking for his normal nurses like Sara, Arica, Danny, Kathy, and Amy. I tried to explain to him that it is because he has a little cough and we have to be on the third floor for the time being. With it being RSV season, any little sign of a cough and you are banned from the second floor.
Tonight, he was telling me about all the people who take care of him and love him. He named Dr. Wood, Dr. Maze, Sharon, “A,” and then he said, “Dr. La Quaglia took the big Death Star out of my tummy.” (He calls his tumor the Death Star from Star Wars.) He even pronounced his name right, which was so dang cute.
Ronan is so smart and doesn’t miss a beat. I’ve got to start watching what I say around that kid.
We have had a great night together but are so beyond tired. I’m hoping to get a little sleep, as I am exhausted from the happenings of last night and the three hours of sleep I’m running on.
Here’s to hoping tomorrow will be even better as he starts to get his strength and health back. We’ve got to get him well before transplant, and I would like to be able to enjoy our time at home before we go in for the long haul.
Thanks for checking in and keeping Ro baby in your prayers and thoughts. We are so lucky to have all of you thinking of him.
G’nite, sweet friends.
G’nite, Daddy Woo. Hope you are enjoying our big bed all to yourself. Miss you.
xoxo
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won’t waste a minute without you
My bones ache, my skin feels cold
And I’m getting so tired and so old
The anger swells in my guts
And I won’t feel these slices and cuts
I want so much to open your eyes
‘Cause I need you to look into mine
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes [x4]
Get up, get out, get away from these liars
‘Cause they don’t get your soul or your fire
Take my hand, knot your fingers through mine
And we’ll walk from this dark room for the last time
Every minute from this minute now
We can do what we like anywhere
I want so much to open your eyes
‘Cause I need you to look into mine
Tell me that you’ll open your eyes [x8]
All this feels strange and untrue
And I won’t waste a minute without you
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