Here I sit, just bawling my eyes out for your pain. I don’t know what to say so I’ll say nothing and just let you know someone is listening.
Thought of you and Ronan when I heard this song.
oh maya my heart hurts for you so much. i am so sorry. gosh, i know that sounds so lame but there are no other to words to use to explain how deeply sorry i am for you. i am just so glad you went out to your fav restaurant with your bffs. it sounded like a wonderful, much needed night out with some of the people who love you and ro the most. you have been blessed with a great group of friends. dive into them maya. dive into their friendship. i’m sure that’s easier said than done especially when you’re having a day like this one. but take refuge in those friendships as that is slowly helping the healing process. i was thinking and im not sure if its even possible to completely heal from losing ronan, in fact im sure its not. but i know in my heart you and your family will survive this hell. you seem like such strong, determined people who refuse to sumbit to even the shittiest circumstances. you have so many family members, friends, and just blog readers in your corner and rooting for “team maya”. and you know who is also there rooting on team maya? your biggest fan, ronan. your everything, your guardian angel, your partner in crime. he’s there always maya, holding your hand tight and walking through this dark tunnel with you. you and ronan have a piece of my heart and you’re always in my thoughts. xoxo
I wanted you to know how badly I hurt for you. I pray every morning and every night that you find peace for your soul. It has a huge hole in it right now and I’m praying with each passing day it closes a little bit until one day that peace comes. I know you know in your head that you and Woody went so far above and beyond to make the right choices and I pray you find peace in knowing you did everything you could have done. What a class act for Dr. Mosse to email you. That tells you what an impact Ronan made on her. I’m sure it does make her work harder to find a cure. I just know when you finally get peace you are going to make such huge awareness (you’ve already made so many aware) of Neuroblastoma and I can’t wait to read your blog one day to find out that your foundation was the one to find that cure. I sure wish we could somehow get the reason our lives turn out the way they do, but unfortunately we’ll never know. It’s not fair and I hate it for you. I also pray that you feel Ronan with you every day and he keeps showing you little signs of himself. Just know what an impact you have had, and will continue to have on complete strangers just because you shared your precious son with us. I’m always checking my email waiting for your next post so I can check on you. Thank you for allowing us all in. You are loved.
Glad you are back with your family. I know the journey was hard, but necessary for you. I hope you can rally enjoy today. As always your entire family is in our thoughts and prayers.
Maya, I hope today is better for you! Know that you have tons of people holding you up – many that you don’t know personally. (((hugs))) to you and your family. Know that Ro is always with you…in every thought, in every tear. My wish for you today is for some peace and a respite from your pain.
Maya, I’m so sorry for the pain you feel and the loss you’ve suffered. Don’t second guess yourself about the course you choose for Ronan. You did all you could! I am praying for you daily. I believe Ronan had a purpose here. He has touched so many lives. I know he is safe and happy and healthy in Heaven and you will see him again someday. Praying for you and your family! Always…
Hang in there Maya. We are all rooting for you and your family to get through this terrible loss. I have never met you, but I cry everytime I read your posts. You are an amazing writer…so honest and raw about your feelings. My husband asked me why I read your blog because he sees the tears rolling down my cheeks afterward. I am also the mother of 3 boys and I can’t imagine the pain of losing one of them. I’m sure you will feel broken for a long time. I can’t even imagine the physical pain you feel. Please don’t second guess the path for a cure you chose. You did your best for Ronan. Keep writing. You have an amazing gift as a writer. Look how many of us are checking your blog daily to see how you are doing. Take your writing to a publisher and write a book about this. You could raise a lot of money to finding a cure that way and I guarantee all of us followers would be first in line to buy a copy. Your writing helps other parents going through your situation not to feel alone. You are an amazing person and I am rooting for you girl. Hang on!
I agree! Maya you are an excellent writer! You could publish an awesome book 🙂
A book is a fantastic idea. With close to 1.2 million hits on this blog, imagine how many copies that book would sell. All those people it could reach and make aware, and so much money to be raised for research for childhood cancer. That book would fly off the shelves. My heart hurts for you every day, and I so wish I could work magic and make this nightmare go away for you. I admire your strength so much and it shows what an amazingly dedicated mother you are, that you get up every day and put on your best face for Liam and Quinn. There are so many people who would just crumple into a ball and let the world steamroll over them, but you just keep plugging away. You’re doing an amazing job, even though it hurts, and those boys are so lucky to have a mama like you.
Thinking of you and beautiful blue eyed Rockstar Ronana!
My heart aches for you! Baby steps mama bear!
Your honesty and rawness is what keeps me coming back to read about your beautiful baby boy.
I had a dream with you last night. I was at your mom’s restaurant and you came in with a group of friends. I didn’t want to bother you while you were dining at the restaurant, so once you left I went over and talked to your mom and told her how I wear Ronan’s bracelet *FUCANCER* showed it to her, and told her I lost my mother to cancer and I want to support anything you do with childhood cancer. (that was my dream- wanted to share with you)
Peace & strength…
I think this song is special. It’s Jesse J. I love the pose in the picture , I think it represents strength. God bless you and your family.
oh how i wish i was magic. how my heart aches for you. i pray for peace for you. always. i am watching coldplay live on VH1 just thinking of Ronan the whole time.
so…i live nowhere near that water connection place but i keep telling myself if i’m in the area, i’m going to stop by because i really want a bracelet. so…i got there 15 minutes after they closed today. aaaahhh! it’s like i’m not meant to have one, LOL. any word on if we can order direct from you or your friends and have them mailed? i should have ordered one way back when i got my shirt but i didn’t. stupid move. anyway, i hope today was one of your better ones. thinking of you and your family constantly!
Maya – I threw up every day for nearly three months after my daughter passed. It’s part of a whole body purge, I think…trying desperately to purge your system from the shock of what happened and how the uncertainty of the life that lay before you. I have so much admiration for you that you even set foot one out of the door. I remember leaving the house very little after my daughter passed. So much so that I began to understand exactly how someone can develop agoraphobia.
You are in my thoughts every day. ❤
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