We ended up staying out of the hospital last night. Ronan slept and slept hard. His fever was off and on through the night but never went above 100.1. So thankful.
I had the most awful dreams last night. Ugh. I can’t shake them this morning. I dreamed that Ronan could no longer have his stem cell transplant because he had too much neuroblastoma everywhere. All of our doctors were in my dream, and there was a lot of screaming, crying, and hitting—done by me. Can’t I catch a freaking break? Why can’t my sleep at least be peaceful? My days are filled with so much crap you’d think I’d at least be able to take a break while I sleep. Not the case. Ever. I need a break today. I may have to just bite the bullet and leave Ronan for a bit to go hike Camelback or something. I need to clear my head for a while.
The boys are excited to watch the Packers football game today (Go Packers!) and they also have a birthday party to go to. Woody and Quinn are still asleep, and I am cuddled on the couch with Ro and Liam watching Mickey Mouse. Ronan does not want to do anything except have me by his side. The little guy gets upset if I even leave to try to do things around the house. Macy and I have been laughing about this on the phone and calling him my warden. He certainly is the one who rules the household around here. I don’t mind. I secretly like being his slave—especially when he looks at me and tells me I’m the best mommy in the world. It’s moments like that that make me realize I can get him through this because he is so worth all of this.
On Friday night, I got a call from my OB-GYN (the BEST one in the world, Dr. Kathleen Schwartz). We have been trying to connect forever, but I keep missing her when I’m in for my visits. She is the one who delivered my twins and Ronan. It was so nice to hear her voice and talk to her for a while. The first thing I said to her was, “Can you believe this is happening to us?” She was very sweet and very concerned, and it was nice to catch her up on everything.
All of my little monkeys are up now, so I’ve got to get breakfast made. Have a great morning. I basically just wanted to update you on Ro’s fever. Hoping we continue to keep him home.
Thank you, Stacy Frakes, for saving my life with your Hava Java delivery this morning! You are the BEST!!!!!
If I could open my arms
And span the length of the isle of Manhattan
I’d bring it to where you are
Making a lake of the East River and Hudson
And if I could open my mouth
Wide enough for a marching band to march out
They would make your name sing
And bend through alleys and bounce off all the buildings
I wish we could open our eyes
To see in all directions at the same time
Oh, what a beautiful view
If you were never aware of what was around you
And it is true what you say
That I live like a hermit in my own head
But when the sun shines again
I’ll pull the curtains and blinds to let the light in
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown
Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to drown
Your love is going to . . . .
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