Where is Ronan?


Somehow, I am in my cozy bed at my house. I cannot get out of my bed. It feels like quicksand and even when I try to get up, it pulls me back down. My house and heart feel really empty. I hear people, but the biggest voice of all is missing. “Where is Ronan?” That is what I asked Woody. He just starts to cry. But really, where is he? Is he playing in his bedroom? Is he in the backyard? Is he causing trouble and running about the house? Is he playing Star Wars with his brothers? Then I remember. Ronan is gone.

Ronan really left a couple of days ago. His pain got really bad from his little liver failing and all we wanted was to keep him comfortable. The Ryan House was quiet but full of the people who are our family. Charisma spent the weekend, Susie came, Gay, Melissa, Stacy, Bethany, Tricia, Sarah, my mom, Mimi, Papa, Uncle Scottie, Auntie Karen, Aubrey, Marisa, Danielle…. I cannot remember who else. Mother’s Day was quiet and I stayed by Ronan’s side most of the day. I whispered a lot of things in his ear and although he was not responding much anymore, I know he could hear me. I told him all the things that filled my heart. How he was the best thing to ever happen to me, how he changed my life, how it was time to stop fighting, and just relax because I was going to take care of him forever. I sang to him, loved on him, and said our famous little thing we always said to each other, “Just you and me, baby.” As I sat next to him I prayed so hard. I asked for a few things. I asked him to please not leave me until Fernanda returned from her trip, I asked for him to please not leave me on Mother’s Day, I asked him to leave peacefully in the night, with me by his side. I begged the Heavens above to not be cruel in the way that they took him. He had enough and I wanted him to go in the most peaceful way possible. For the first time in his life, my little boy listened to everything I asked of him.

Quinn spent most of Mother’s Day curled up beside Ronan. I explained most of what was going on to him. He wanted to know why he couldn’t understand what Ronan was saying anymore and when he would start talking normally again. I told him that he was so sleepy, that he wasn’t going to be back to the way he was anymore. Quinn cried and slept most of the day away by Ronan’s side. He needed to have his time and his goodbye with him so I let him take all the time he needed. It was hard to watch my almost 8-year-old hurting so badly but it was a chapter that he needed to close in his life with Ronan. I wasn’t about to push him away. I talked to Liam about staying at The Ryan House with us or going home. He said he wanted to stay to be with Ronan and us. I told him how Ronan was not going to get better and that he needed to say his goodbyes. Little tears filled his eyes and he said he knew, but he still wanted to be with his brother. After 8 months of shipping my twins off I had decided that enough was enough and they would stay with us as long as they wanted. Fernanda had a firm talking to with me about this decision. I told her I would meet her halfway and only let Liam and Quinn see so much and how they would not be allowed to sleep in the room during the night with Ronan and myself anymore. They would have to sleep with Woody in the room across from us. She seemed happy with that outcome.

After a quiet Mother’s Day, night soon filled the air. I slipped out and let Mimi and Papa lay with Ronan and I tried to calm myself as much as possible. I was panicking, trying to come up with what I could do to save him and his little body that was failing. I asked for oxygen to be placed by him, to help with his breathing, I texted back and forth with my friend, Doriet, whom just lost her little girl. She was giving my ideas on ways to save him. I talked to my friend, Diane, who lost her little boy to this nasty disease years ago. I said things to her like what if he really didn’t want to go, but was fighting to stay alive and I was just pushing him down with all the pain medicine. She calmly talked me off the ledge and told me that the cancer had invaded his liver and there was nothing medically we could do to save him. I was still fighting for him, even though I knew he was ready to go.

I sat in the Sanctuary room with the girls for about an hour last night. Fernanda, my mom, Melissa, Sarah and Tricia. We had a lot of laughs and Sarah told us how she was getting a purple star tattoo this Thursday, on Ronan’s birthday. Before I knew it, everyone in the room had decided to go with her. This made my heart happy as the love of the people surrounding me is unbelievable. They truly are the most amazing girls alive. Around 10 p.m. it was time for me to get back to Ronan so everyone left except Fernanda who said she would stay and watch Ronan sleep so I could get some rest. I had the twins come in and kiss Ronan goodnight and I curled up beside him. I whispered little things in his ear and sang to him. I fell asleep as I could relax a little knowing Fernanda’s watchful eyes were on him. His breathing was becoming softer, his little feet were becoming so cold. Fernanda sang to him and rubbed him. I fell in and out of sleep. She left the room about 3 a.m. and the nurse taking care of Ronan patted me around 3:20 a.m. Ronan was ready to leave. I said to her, “Is he gone?” She replied, “Almost.” I grabbed on to my baby boy, whispered in his ear that I loved him, but it was time to go so he needed to come with me. I kept saying, “Come with me, Ronan. Let’s get out of here.” The nurse went to get Woody and when he got to the room, he kissed Ronan goodbye and that was that. His little heart just stopped.

Somebody came in asking if she could bathe Ronan with warm water and if we wanted his clothes changed. Woody left the room to make phone calls and I asked if I could please give him his bath. She said of course and brought me everything I needed. I stripped him down and washed his little body. I remember looking up at her and saying how no mother should have to do this. She replied, “You’re right. You are very brave.” I remember thinking to myself how I couldn’t believe I was giving my dead child a bath. It was so weird, yet so peaceful. I put on his favorite red Small Paul monkey pants, his Star Wars shirt and little Ralph Lauren socks. I kissed his cold little lips a dozen times and kept thinking I couldn’t believe I wasn’t ever going to be able to kiss them again. Woody came into the room and we sat I just stared at our son. We cried, held each other while looking down at his little body. I kept feeling him and kept telling Woody he was so stiff. It was all surreal to say the least; but I felt like Ronan was right there with me. Just because the shell of his body was gone, his spirit was still in the room. It has been with me the entire day which is maybe why I feel so at peace.

Leaving the room was the hardest part. Woody said his friend that he went to high school with was waiting outside as they were ready to take Ronan away. I told him that I wasn’t leaving him and he grabbed on to my arms and tried to pull me away. I cried that I promised I’d never leave him and it took awhile for Woody to convince me that he was already gone. I went and kissed his toes, lips, and pinky fingers one last time. I walked out of that room and went straight into the arms of Woody’s friend, Ardra, who runs the mortuary. I held onto her and told her to take good care of my baby boy and not to leave him. She cried with me and promised she would. I walked away before I saw them carry out his little body. I went into a room where my mom, Kay, Charlie, Scottie, and Auntie Karen waited for Woody and I. We sat for a while and no words were said as they were not needed. Woody and his family went to pack up our rooms and I sat with my mom and Karen. We talked quietly about what had just happened. We talked about Ronan and his life and how he had inspired so many people. That little boy taught me more in his almost 4 years of his life than anybody I have ever known. He was the proudest, most beautiful child that has ever touched this earth.

After Ronan’s body left The Ryan House, we had to go and wake up the twins. I quietly tapped Liam and told him it was time to go home. He was confused and I did my best to explain things to him. Woody picked him up and carried him out of the house. I snuggled with Quinn a bit and woke him up and said the same thing. He wanted to know if Ronan was coming with us. I explained to him that Ronan would not be with us anymore. He cried and it took awhile to get him out of the bed. He said he needed more time and I gave it to him. I had Ronan’s “Gigi,” in my arms and I gave it to Quinn and told him he could have it now. He wrapped it around his shoulders and I told him he could go into the room where Ronan had been and kiss his pillow. He did so and also laid down on the bed where Ronan had been hours earlier. I let him take his time and Woody then came and carried Quinn out into the car. The four of us drove home together as the sun rose. Ronan’s car seat was no longer in my car and I sat with Quinn on my lap and watched as Liam sat in the back as the tears poured down his little cheeks. We talked a little bit on the way home about Ronan and how he was no longer hurting and how peacefully he went to sleep. We all stumbled in our house and I insisted that we all lay down together and get some sleep. Liam tried to go to his room, to be alone but I told him that was not happening as we all needed to be together because we were all hurting. He listened and snuggled up between Quinn and Woody. I took some sleeping medicine and passed out for most of the day.

I sent my Mr. Sparkly Eyes a text and told him how I could not get out of bed. I asked him how I was ever supposed to face the world again as I never went anywhere without Ro, my little partner in crime. I don’t know the answer to this but I know Ronan will help me in everything that I do. He will guide me for the rest of his life just like he did his entire existence. Nothing I do will be without Ronan’s help and the love that we have for each other. It is eternal.

I know I don’t want to end this story. I want it to go on forever. I want Ronan to never stop inspiring you all just because he is gone. I want his name and our love story to live on forever. I want to keep writing to all of you. I hope that is o.k. I’m not sure what I will write about as that child was my life. But just because he is not here, does not mean our story has to end. He is with me and will continue to fill me with his love everyday. His love alone will keep me going and strong. I will not crumble up and die because he is not here. I will not let him down and I promise to make him so proud of me as I know he is watching everything that I do. Those eyes will forever be burned into my soul, the smell of his sweet skin, the touch of his perfectly plump lips and his little giggle will never be forgotten. My twins will be better boys because of him, my marriage will be stronger, and I will never take a second of my life for granted again. I would give anything to have him back and I don’t know if it has even hit me that he is really gone. I find peace in knowing that he is no longer hurting but cannot deny that my heart is broken beyond repair. All I want is my child back. My healthy child back before all of this.

I feel very angry and let down by a lot of people; but mainly by medicine and the doctors of the world who have not figured out this nasty disease. Mostly life in general as I have learned the hardest way how cruel it can be. Watching my child die from Neuroblastoma t was the most horrific experience of my life and nobody should have to go through that; especially in this day and age. I made a promise at the beginning of all of this to help find a cure and now I am more determined than ever. A cure begins with awareness and funding so I am going to work for the rest of my life on that part of all of this. All in the name and honor of my Ronan Sean Thompson. The brightest star in the sky.

I cannot thank all of my friends and family enough for their love and support through all of this. I would not be in such a peaceful place without them. I have no doubt that Ronan’s journey is not over… it will just come in a different form now. I cannot thank all of you who have been following me this blog and spreading the word about Ronan. We love you all so much. If you see me, please don’t be afraid to come up and tell me hello and hug me. Please don’t be afraid to tell me how sorry you are because of the pain you know we are all in. But please, don’t tell me things like God has a bigger plan for Ronan, how he belongs in heaven, how he is happy with God now…… because all of those things just piss me off. And I will punch you. I will never come to peace with any of those fucking saying and unless you have just walked through my exact shoes, you have no right to say those things. I understand if it is how you will make sense of all of this but to me, you can’t make sense out of nonsense and that is exactly what all of this is. Complete and total nonsense. This will never make sense to me as I know our family did not deserve any of this pain; especially not Ronan.

That is all for tonight my loves. Goodnight to my sweetest baby boy; Ronan Sean. My little seal, my little monkey, my little everything. I love you to the moon and back a million times over.

xoxo



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505 Comments

  1. Lauren Del Rosso

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya,
    If you can take any comfort from anything, let it be how much Ronan’s story and your words have touched so many people… many of them complete strangers to you and your family. He is loved and cherished by so many like me who never had the chance to know him, and yet he will always be remembered. Your words, your pain, your story, have done that… and through them awareness and hopefully a cure. There has to be. I just can’t believe otherwise. My deepest sympathies to you and your family.
    With love,
    Lauren Del Rosso

    Reply
  2. Meg

     /  May 9, 2011

    If I am this sad and heartbroken I cant in a million years imagine how you feel. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Ronan has changed my life forever. Please take care of yourself. I am still going to check back each day to see how you’re doing.
    With love,
    Meg

    Reply
  3. Frazier

     /  May 9, 2011

    Goodbye sweet Ronan, I love you.

    Reply
    • Leslie Ceballos

       /  September 11, 2012

      I love Ronan sooo much. I wish I could have known him. He sounded like such a beautiful and peaceful boy. Since I heard of his death I have been sooo sad I felt like he was my brother. I heard the song Taylor Swift composed to Ronan and that song really touched me. I love Ronan Thompson. I will never forget him. And don’t worry he will always be by your side no matter what xx
      -Leslie Ceballos

      Reply
  4. Sarah

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am so heartbroken for your loss. I do hope that you find a way to make something out of this horrific tragedy so that nobody else has to endure the pain that your family has been through.

    Reply
  5. Kimball Arnold

     /  May 9, 2011

    Thank you for this post Maya. Bless you for all you and Woody did to fight for Ronan and for the work ahead of you to help the medical community find a way to cure or stop Neuroblastoma. Your love of Ronan and promises to him will help make a tremendous difference in the future and I am grateful for you, Woody, Liam and Quinn and most of all for Ronan for allowing all of us to share in your journey. I have every confidence you will continue to fight for Ronan
    so his life has value and meaning. He was a remarkable little boy and it was obvious how much he was loved. He will always be with you all in your hearts and your love of him will give all of you strength and courage for the time ahead. Sending you hugs from Prescott. Love, Kimball

    Reply
  6. Elisha

     /  May 9, 2011

    To the Rockstar Ronan mama and family.

    You don’t know me. I don’t know you. But even so, I am thinking of you all. (All the way from Australia).

    To the mama, you are amazing. I love you, even though we’ve never met.

    Elisha

    Reply
  7. Adrianne Marks

     /  May 9, 2011

    Sending all my love <3

    Reply
  8. Melissa

     /  May 9, 2011

    I do not know you or your family, but have followed this blog …and my heart has never felt the sadness I feel for you all. You put everything so truthfully and clear in your writing, and I hope for continued inspiration here. Ronan is quite simply the most gorgeous boy, heart & soul. May peace be with you, your husband and twins. It truly is all nonsense, with no reason–and more unfair than anything in this world.

    Reply
  9. Val

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya,Woody and kids and family:
    My deepest sympathies to you on Ronans untimely death.you are great parents and your love for Ronan will shine on. Cannot imagine your pain and wish you peace and for Ronan, eternal peace. Hugs and love, Val in Ma.

    Reply
  10. Becky

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya & Woody-

    My heart is breaking for you. I decided to check your blog one more time before I went to bed & I am sitting here with tears just falling. I had seen the news on Facebook but was really not wanting to believe it. I always believed (& hoped & prayed) that you would not have to go through this. Maya, you are such a beautiful writer & I look forward to reading more on this blog. You have put it all out there & it is so inspiring to me & the thousands of others who have been following your journey. I am so sorry & truly know that Ronan will be with you always. My prayers are with all of you.

    Reply
  11. Trish

     /  May 9, 2011

    Amazing! Maya, your strength is amazing.
    I am truly sorry for your loss.
    You have shown such grace and perseverance throughout this journey with Ronan. This Grace and perseverance will continue to help carry you through this next journey (a journey no parent should ever have to travel).

    I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

    Your Amazing!

    I’m glad to know you!

    Reply
  12. Kerry

     /  May 9, 2011

    I can not tell you how sorry I am. I have read your blog everyday and my heart breaks for you. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you all. You are an amazing person and a wonderful mom. There are no words. Peace.

    Reply
  13. ashley

     /  May 9, 2011

    I’m so, so sorry for your whole family and especially Ronan. I, like so many others out there I’m sure, was hoping for a different ending to this story. I didn’t know Ronan, of course, but I will not forget him. Thank you for sharing your story with us. It has made me realize how things can change from one day to the next and how I need to appreciate everything I have in this moment.

    Reply
  14. stefanie

     /  May 9, 2011

    I love you. I am thinking about you and your family, and praying.

    Reply
  15. Rachelle

     /  May 9, 2011

    Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.

    I am so very sorry for your loss! Thank you so much for sharing Ronan’s journey with us and reminding us EXACTLY what life is all about; Love!

    Reply
  16. Marcia

     /  May 9, 2011

    My dear Maya,
    I am so very sorry. Life is so unfair and cruel at times. Your right no parent or child should ever have to go through this.My heart is completely broken. I never got to meet your baby with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen in my life but I do love him and I will remember him forever. Fly with the Angels sweet baby boy. His spirit will always be with you. I will continue to check in on your little family and I will never ever forget Ronan.

    Reply
  17. simone atkinson

     /  May 9, 2011

    Heartbroken.

    Reply
  18. Candyce Lindsay

     /  May 9, 2011

    I have fallen in love with Ronan and admired the love your family shows to each other through this incredibly hard time in your lives. Maya you are a mom who loves deep and your boys have learned from you on loving unconditionally. The Lindsay family have prayed for Ronan continuously as has many of my church family. Please know we will continue to pray for you all. Candyce-friend of Mimi Kay and Charlie

    Reply
  19. Sheridan

     /  May 9, 2011

    I have no words…except thank you…thank you for helping us all to really see how precious each little life is, how things can change in an instant and how we should all be more mindful of those we love HERE and NOW. Having a four year old little girl I will never look at her again without realizing how much each precious moment counts, I thank you for that. So deeply sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  20. Ashley

     /  May 9, 2011

    I don’t know you or your family. I am so saddened by your story, but the fight you put up for him was so inspiring. I, one day, would like to become a nurse in pediatric oncology, and want to help fight for the little ones too. God bless you and your family, our prayers are with you.

    Reply
  21. Jenn S.

     /  May 9, 2011

    Heartbreaking. I cannot even begin to imagine your pain and loss. I have two little boys and I just want to go wake them up and squeeze them with everything I have in me. Your words and life have inspired me to love my boys with an even greater love. Thank you for your honesty. What incredible little boy Ronan was – his life has blessed so many. I lift you all up tonight and pray for healing.

    Reply
  22. Laura

     /  May 9, 2011

    I sit here at my computer crying for you and your family. I wish I could say something to help, but I can’t. Though I never met Ronan or you Maya, you both have touched my heart and left an impression. Thank you for sharing so much with so many. We love you.

    Reply
  23. Laura

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am so sorry. I just started following Ronan when you posted not long ago on the nb listserv. I lost my precious Luke to Neuroblastoma. I am SO sorry to Ronan, and to your family. Hugs to you all, Laura

    Reply
  24. cheryl

     /  May 9, 2011

    Oh My, this is beyond sad, heartless and cruel that this horrible disease took Ronan away. I can only say that he was an incredibly loveable, beautiful and heart grabbing little man. I feel like I have lost a relative in my family, he was so easy to love. My heart goes out to You, Woody, Quinn and Liam and all of the people in your family. I know that there still is a Ronan, because just now as I sat here and looked out the window there was the brightest star so close to me I could almost grab it, and I immediately knew it was Ronan……..in all of his beautiful glory checking on me. Thank you Maya for sharing this heartfelt story with us. I have been glued to this computer keeping track of him, you and your family. Please come back and talk with us anytime. I feel like I know you, and your words that I waited for every night before bed will be missed. Please hug your husband and boys for me, I know they hurt and I am so, so sorry. Please take care of yourself….love and hugs.

    Cheryl from Texas
    xoxo

    Reply
  25. Amanda

     /  May 9, 2011

    Mama Maya, Thompson family, Ronan Baby, you have all completely touched my heart and soul, I will never ever forget your story ever. By far the bravest, strongest people I have ever “known” you have truly inspired me and make me want to spread awareness of this awful disease and help on the path to finding a cure. No one deserves to have gone through this and I am so sorry for your loss. Ronan couldn’t have asked for a more loving, dedicated, strong family. I feel we have all been blessed by his presence on this earth and personally, I will never forget what your family’s story has taught me. You will all still continue to be in my thoughts and prayers, and I will continue to send you all my positive energy I love you Thomspon family. <3

    Reply
  26. Joy (Corkran) Gaeraths

     /  May 9, 2011

    Thompson family – There really are no words but please know that Ronan touched so many people and we are all saddened by this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You are amazing people and I thank you for letting us in on your journey. We are all better people for simply knowing Ronan through your words.

    Reply
  27. Maya & Woody-

    We do not know each other; however, I feel compelled to offer my heartfelt condolences. I recently became aware of your battle from several of my freinds from the JLP. My husband JC and I also recently lived through the hell you have so vividly described. We too lost our precious 5 1/2 year old daughter Hannah to cancer on April 23rd – the day before Easter. I would love to tell you that it gets easier – it is just so different and weird. We share with you the sense of peace that you have – it really is true and will continue to give you resolve through this horrible time. We also went to PCH and went all over the country seeking the best care possible for Hannah during her 4 year battle – to only be dissappointed in the end. How can you fight so hard to not have the desired outcome???? I hope you find comfort in the many people you have inspired and Ronan did – I know that I do with Hannah and like yourselves will spend the rest of my life making sure that this moment does not define us and will work tirelessly to conquer this nasty disease.

    Fondly,
    Shelly Huckfeldt

    Reply
  28. Nicole

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am writing this through tears, please continue to write your baby our baby memory should live on as a 35 year old mom he has taught me so much because of you guys I treasure all time I spend with him, I tell him every day how much I love him please continue to inspire our family and keep our rock star memory alive my thoughts and prayers are with your family and you.

    Reply
  29. Glenda

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya,

    My heart is broken and aches for you and your family but especially for Ronan. He captured my heart with them beautiful blue eyes. I prayed every single night for a cure. I had so much hope and I believed that he would be healed.

    Please continue to write this love story. Rockstar Ronan will forever be a part of you. He will be your reason for living and becoming stronger and Liam and Quinn and Woody. Your family is a beautiful family and together you will continue Ro’s legacy.

    Sending you, Woody and the twins hugs.

    Reply
  30. Avery

     /  May 9, 2011

    I’ve never commented before but I’ve been reading since about November, I guess? I got pulled in by those beautiful, beautiful eyes. He was so small and yet so fierce and had those eyes that looked like he could see right through you into your soul. Three years old and he looked like he already had the whole world figured out. That’s how I’m going to remember Ronan. By those amazing eyes and his old soul.

    I am so incredibly sorry for your family’s loss. There isn’t a word for a parent who loses a child and there has to be a reason for that – it should never happen.

    I think Ronan’s gotta be the brightest star in the night sky now. The sky seems like the only place big enough to hold him. There’s a new rockstar up there tonight and he’s going to shine on his family forever.

    Reply
  31. carrie ball

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am so very sad and destroyed for you, for your beautiful family and just cannot believe he is gone. I was crying almost hysterical when you said in your post, if we say certain things to you..”you will punch us”..Maya, I don’t know you but I really want to. I am very similar in passion and that phrase actually made me smile through sobbing tears. I just don’t know what I would do if we lost Jack. So many children have been taken, it just makes NO SENSE, just as you said. your beautiful words, sharing with us your most personal, worst moments of your life is very inspiring.I can’t stop crying and yet it isn’t about how this makes us feel, it is about you and your family and Ronan. I just cannot believe you had to bear that torture, or you twins, your husband…and especially Ronan. He will keep on, he is not gone. When do you let go? Never. I am relieved to see that you will still write and share this journey. I do everything I can for research and funding for Neuroblastoma, this sick piece of crap cancer, The strength you mom’s show in such times of pain is unreal. Those poor brothers, the twins, man I would love to hug the crap out of all of you until I can’t do it any more. I believe your marriage and family and friends surrounding you will grow with strength every day. I may not know you as I said, but struggle with fear evey day for our Jack and all affected, and care about your family as if I have known you a long time. You are an incredible mother and a hero to us. My heart hurts for Ronan, I send prayers for strength and healing for you all, I am so very very sorry for this pain. Thank you for writing and sharing your love.
    Carrie-AZ

    Reply
  32. Nicole E

     /  May 9, 2011

    My life is forever changed because of Ronan, you, and your family. Never stop writing to us, we will listen, I will help you in your fight to stop this horrible disease however I possibly can. Love to the Thompsons and Peace to Ronan.

    Reply
  33. Kim

     /  May 9, 2011

    I have not been following your blog long, however know several of your hometown friends.

    Maya – you are amazing, your ability to express your feelings in writing is crazy… I feel like I have walked this walk right beside you… You are VERY lucky to have an amazing husband to stand beside you and support you!!! Take care of yourself, your husband and your beautiful boys… The amount of love in your heart will carry your family through thru tragic journey.

    Reply
  34. Elizabeth Z

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am so sad, this is not fair. I will not say those things that you don’t wanna hear, the only thing I can say is that you are one of the bravest human beings I know. Thank you for sharing your beautiful child with all of us. I am sending you a huge hug and I am deeply sorry that your family, and especially Baby Ronan had to go through all of this. You are so right, he will always be by your side, and he will forever inspire us to life live to the fullest and be strong and brave. Thank you Ronan, I dedicate my coming up marathon to you, you put a smile on my face <3 xoxo

    Reply
  35. Tink

     /  May 9, 2011

    While I did not know you personally, I followed your journey. I cared, I cried, I hoped and prayed. Truly inspirational and brave. Rest In Peace little Ronan. You truly were and still are a rock star. xo

    And I hope that one of my favourite poems could offer any kind of support.

    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there; I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow,
    I am the diamond glints on snow,
    I am the sun on ripened grain,
    I am the gentle autumn rain.
    When you awaken in the morning’s hush
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry,
    I am not there; I did not die.

    Reply
  36. Kristy mathews

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya,
    Your little boy has forever changed my family. I thank you for sharing your story with us and we will continue to stand with you and your family as we all work hard to raise awareness and find a cure. This post shows your strength and what an amazing mother you are. Love and hugs to your entire family.

    Reply
  37. Jessica-June

     /  May 9, 2011

    Ronan will always be loved by all the lives his story has touched, I will never forget.

    Reply
  38. Jenn Chavez

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya,
    We have never met, yet, I feel as though I been a close friend through this journey. Your friends shared your story with me and from the moment I began reading, I could not stop. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I have been praying for your family and continue to pray for peace. May the love of your children keep you safe during this time. You are courageous and generaous in allowing us all to share in your experience. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your boys have changed my outlook on everything I do with my boys. Thank you for that. I wish you peace and comfort. Huge hugs from the Chavez family to yours. Jenn

    Reply
  39. Amy

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am so sorry, Maya. There are no words; this is truly heartbreaking. You are amazing and Ronan is truly an inspiration to all. We are all here for you and love you.

    Reply
  40. Claire

     /  May 9, 2011

    There are no words, just tears.

    Reply
  41. Marcia Trent

     /  May 9, 2011

    I said it before…I am not a mom, but I will fight to hell and back for Ronan. He changed me and healed a pain I thought would be with me for the rest of my life. For that I will be forever grateful for following his journey.

    Words fail me tonight in telling you how much I will miss a child I have never met. A child who, like his mother, reminded me it was the little things that mattered in life.

    Ro is the face of childhood cancer and his fight
    will not have been in vain. Please tell me what I can do to help you bring awareness to this disease. Words will not fail me in that endeavor. The world must know of Rockstar Ronan and his fight. I would be honored to help.

    Please know you, Woody, Liam and Quinn are loved. And so is Ronan. And I think a purple heart tattoo is also in order. Love to you all.

    Marcia

    Reply
  42. Krystal

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya,

    You truly are the strongest woman in the world! I have been following your blog through my sister Shawna’s facebook. Every post has made me laugh and cry all in same! Ronan was such a strong, unbelieveable little man! He faced a tough battle, and he fought so hard! He has genuinely touched my life! Reading this post took me a while, as my eyes were filled with tears. Tears of utter sadness, and yet joy in the life that Ronan has helped me strive to want to live! I have a love for your family, and although words are of little comfort in these times, i hope you know you are in more people’s hearts than you will ever know! Keep strong Maya, you are amazing. Ronan will be forever smiling down on all of your family!

    Lets kick Neuroblastoma’s ass! Lets find a cure!!!!!

    Reply
  43. K.M

     /  May 9, 2011

    Ronan has touched my heart like no one other than my own children. Something about him, your family, your story truly touched my soul. I will be forever changed by that gorgeous little boy whom I have never even met. This is so unfair. Why did this happen? There must be a cure for this stupid disease soon. I know you will help find it. Please keep writing. I have heard stories, read blogs even volunteered at NB charity functions, but nothing, no one has ever changed me like Ronan has. I will never let the stupid things in life get to me, for Ronan this is my promise. Maya YOU are amazing. I’m sure your sick of hearing this, as it doesn’t mean much without your little buddy. I have no idea what pain is yet to come so do whatever you need to do. Cry, scream, kick, love your boys extra, run, hike, get mad, lean on Woody as he should lean on you. Most of all remember you really did do everything you possibly could. When doctors failed you, you refused it and kept fighting. I don’t even think you know what a rare Mama Bear you are. You were his best friend
    and never left his side. Ronan will NEVER be forgotten by anyone who has heard your story. I’m so mad and sad and just wish your family nothing but love. Rockstar Ronan will never be forgotten I know you will not let him and neither will we.
    Love & Wishes for your family.

    Reply
  44. Lisa

     /  May 9, 2011

    Ronan has touched so many people through your words. He has truly become a blessing to so many. What you as a mother and your family have had to endure is inconceivable and I am so sorry you lost your little bundle of sweetness. He is a beautiful boy ~ and will always be with you. Praying for you….always.

    Reply
  45. Emily

     /  May 9, 2011

    Crying tonight…we don’t know each other, but because of the internet, the world is a much smaller place.

    I’m crying because watching someone walk through the worst experience of their life is horrible.

    I’m crying because your boy was beautiful.
    He deserved a life longer than 4 years.

    I’m crying because out of your pain came such amazing, STRONG, beautiful words. How you can form even 1 thought is beyond me.

    I’m crying for you.

    Reply
  46. Melissa

     /  May 9, 2011

    Thank you Maya for blogging tonite. Tears are in my eyes, your such a beautiful and strong Mama, more then you know. Cancer is a dirty thief and though it may have stolen his body, it cannot take his beautiful soul. Alll my love to you, Woody, Liam and Quinn. I know you don’t feel it, but please know I truly think you are amazing.

    Reply
  47. Sandra Foutz

     /  May 9, 2011

    Oh Maya and Woody,

    I had a feeling when there wasn’t an update on the blog. There are so many things wrong with the world but Ronan was perfect. He was your perfect little guy and I don’t know why he is gone. I have had a candle lit all evening for your little rascal. May he rest in peace. I hope somehow, somewhere you both and the twins are able to find peace too. You are all loved. Ronan – the force is with you padawan.

    Reply
  48. Bern

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am so sorry. So very, very sorry.

    Reply
  49. michelle l.

     /  May 9, 2011

    i’m so so sorry. Ronan was loved by all, near and far. he’s a bright star in our hearts, who’s light will ALWAYS shine.

    Reply
  50. Amanda Kop

     /  May 9, 2011

    I have been praying all day that the rumors weren’t true. Your have invited us into your lives with such open honesty and we have all fallen in love with Ronan and your family in return. I truly believed he would defeat this disease…that we would be reading blog posts about his accomplishments well into the future. Now, as you said, his accomplishments will be coming through you, your family & the thousands of people he has touched. His life was short but it has left a greater impact on this world that many people who live to 100. Of course, that is no consolation. To have him in your arms again…that is all the impact you could really want, I get that. Still, know that those tears that are streaming down my face are for your boy…your beautiful, smart, funny, stubborn, brave, perfect little boy. Keep sharing your story Maya,…we all care too much to be left behind now. We will all be hear to listen if you don’t mind our stupid but heartfelt comments now and then.

    When my son’s best friend died when they were 3 1/2, & I had to tell him, he asked, “So, Brady moved? Does he sleep on the clouds now? Can he see me all of the time?” I replied, “Yes. He can watch over you and help keep you safe.” He said,”Okay. Atleast now he will never be away from me.”

    My family sends love and prayers to yours. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  51. Annie Johnson

     /  May 9, 2011

    Well I feel shaky and vomity so I can’t even begin to imagine what you are feeling. Please don’t stop writing to us. I want to know when he comes to you in your dreams, and when you hear that sound in your house that just isn’t of the norm. I want to help you in your quest to fight this disease so this I vow to you. If you tell me where to donate money, I will make a monthly donation in honor of Ronan, it may not be much but every little bit helps. I want your story to be heard because it has affected me so much. I am a nursing student at LCC and we are doing a community based project. I am breaking the rules because I am doing mine on the Ryan house “which is not in my community” The way you speak of it, and the pictures I’ve seen, it does seem like a wonderful place. I am so happy you bathed your son one last time, it sounds like everything played out nevermind nothing really played out the way it should have. I begged God to help him survive, and I got angry with God right a long with you, but I did ask him that if he was going to take your precious son away from you, that when it happened you would recieve a sign that he was safe. Did your sign happen? I am so sorry to be blabbing on and on. I wish you and your family the best, strength and love!

    Reply
  52. Larry Blinn on behalf on the Wednesday old guys gathering at 'Lynn's'

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya Woody and family,

    My heart goes out to all of you. I have been praying for all of you since Lynn first told me about Ronan so many months ago. Maya, thank you for your courageous sharing of your thoughts and feelings on this web site. I pray that God will bless you all with His healing Grace. Ronan will forever live in our thoughts and prayers.

    Larry Blinn (on behalf of Howard, Dave, Dick Beisel, Skip, and Dick Benson)

    Reply
  53. Andy & Genny

     /  May 9, 2011

    I am sad. I had a feeling that no updates the last day was bad news. We sat here and cried tonight reading as our 3 year old daughter told us its okay to cry and not be sad. I know Woody from ASU and I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. To read how Ronan passed with You two at his side is so beautiful and awful all at the same time. I feel so much pain for your family. Ronan and his story have touched so many. His spirit will live on forever. I’m so sorry. We love you Ronan!

    Reply
  54. I am amazed at your strength and admire your honesty more than you could ever know. Your story has touched my soul and I am so very, very sorry and heart broken for you and your beautiful family. The only thing I can think to say that you might want to hear is that through your words I have found my purpose. I’ve been keeping my eyes open for that thing that hurt my heart and made me righteously angry – that thing that keeps me up at night because I can’t stop thinking about how not right it is – and I’ve found it. I took my first small step tonight by registering for a kit to be a bone marrow donor. It was the only thing I could think to do at 1 o’clock in the morning. I can’t think of anything else I would want to hear if I ever lost one of my little loves so I’ll just leave you with that and a wish that I could give you a hug.

    With much love, Trish

    Reply
  55. Sad

     /  May 9, 2011

    Learning from you, praying for you, PLEADING with God for his comfort for you, listening to you, crying for you, feeling so sick for you, lost 10 pounds of snot for you. Taking sinus meds now, for me. Fell in love with your son, fell more in love with my children (although their eyes could never compare to his). Thank you that through sharing in your tragedy, I am able to love more than I ever thought possible. You’ve given us all a gift, at the sacrifice of that most precious and perfect possession of yours. Thank you…I know it wasn’t worth it.

    Reply
  56. Broken

     /  May 9, 2011

    The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
    Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
    Call me by the old familiar name.
    Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
    Put no sorrow in your tone.
    Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
    Let it be spoken without effort
    Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
    There is unbroken continuity.
    Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
    I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
    All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
    One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
    How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

    (Irish Funeral Prayer)

    Reply
  57. Ranee

     /  May 9, 2011

    An idea!

    When my dad and mom died I fear that I will forget them. Forget precious memories .. their faces .. etc. Maybe now you can tell us your memories of Ronan when you think of them. Little tidbits of that super mini-man. It’s a way to keep the memories of him alive and vivid.

    I have no doubt that Ronan will be with you .. each day .. healing you. I dont know why life is so cruel but I know that your words, your family, and your precious son has touched so many hearts and taught us a big lesson that people take for granted every day – love like there is no tomorrow.

    xoxox

    Reply
  58. Kimber Lacey

     /  May 9, 2011

    You will be remembered! <3

    Reply
  59. Karen

     /  May 9, 2011

    Sad beyond belief. May you continue to find some sense of peace. I am a Ronan fan for life. Goodbye sweet boy.

    Reply
  60. Jennifer (Herl) Suriano

     /  May 9, 2011

    Maya, Woody and family – Thank you for sharing Ronan’s life with us. It is a privilege to be part of the journey, of the joy and love and sadness and pain. You and Ronan have touched so many lives and will continue to do so. I’m sorry that he is not here anymore, but he will be with you forever in your hearts. You are all in my thoughts.
    With love,
    Jen Suriano

    Reply
  61. His story, your story, these lives. These things will live forever. We don’t know eachother, but I don’t care. I want to know you more, I feel like I already do. Ronan, Maya, Woody, Quinn, Liam, I love you. I’m crying for you and you will always be in my heart. I’ll never forget your amazing journey to this heartbreaking place and I will continue catching up with the site. <3 forever -M

    Reply
  62. Jen

     /  May 10, 2011

    I went back to your blogs and tweets- back to the days when there was so much hope. The way you are, the fight you fought, the hope you had. I was sure he would get through this. I feel cheated and sad and pissec for you. I’m sorry this is an angry post. But I’m pissed that this happened to you and your family. I have been crying all day. I want you to know that you have changed so many lives, that beautiful boy has changed so many lives and I will never forget- I will spread his story, your love, and you will see the day- cancer gets beat. You are a blessing to many, Ronan’s is truly an angel. I’m sorry momma Maya. Sorry for yelling- I hurt for you. We all do.

    Reply
  63. Kathi

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart breaks for you and your family. You guys will continue to be in my prayers.

    Reply
  64. Liliana

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya & Woody,
    I am crying with you & I am aching for you. I was terrified that I hadn’t seen a blog in a couple of days and now what I had feared is keeping me up tonight. I’m so terribly sorry. Thank you for sharing your valiant battle against this EVIL disease. Your journey touched me and changed me. I cherish every second of every day with my two children and don’t putt off what I can do with them today. Although I never met your little Rockstar, I can’t possibly forget those radiant blue eyes. I pray that your family continues to have peace and that with your efforts and LOVE for Ronan, a cure can be found. Sending you my love and lots of hugs.

    Reply
  65. Dawn

     /  May 10, 2011

    we have never met…but I want you to know I love you! I agree with what you say…..there is and will never be a good enough reason for Ronan to be taken away because of cancer. I am angry, heartbroken, well pissed off that your family has had to go through any of this.
    You keep writing…you keep expressing your feelings- Ronan will never ever be forgotten. He has touched so many people through your words and experiences……….
    You are his mommy and I want you to keep sharing with all of us the wonder things about Ronan.
    I wish I could take this pain away from you- no one should ever ever have to experience this. I feel so helpless. You are an amazing women, mother and wife. Thank you for allowing all of us to come into your life and love Ronan.
    xoxoxoxo

    Reply
  66. Christine

     /  May 10, 2011

    You don’t know me, but i have been following your blog. My shattered into pieces reading this, and I am so very sorry that Ronan is gone. I know there is nothing anyone can say to make sense of any of this, but please know that Ronan’s life has touched me in the deepest part of my heart, the part we reserve for those who have spoken to our soul. I will never, ever forget Ronan, for the rest of my life. May your little boy rest in peace, and may you and your family find some comfort.

    Reply
  67. Sarah

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have been staring at this screen for two days waiting for an update, waiting to see that miracles really do happen, waiting for you to say that Ronans getting better, and as I read your entry I keep thinking this can’t be true, he can’t go, not this soon! How could he? Even though I don’t know you or Ronan, but you and ro have touched my heart like no one ever can, the minute I saw those gorgoues blue eyes, the most beautiful eyes, the eyes I can never forget. I kept reading your post over and over through tears hoping I was wrong. I have never prayed this hard in my life, and I have never been this heart broken in my life, it feels as my own child. You are so strong, and have made me so much stronger and made me appreciate every little thing in life, thank you for being you, thank you and Ronan for touching my life this way, thank you for making me a better person, a better mother. Thank you for sharing the most beautiful angel with us. I will never forget you. I will never forget Ronan, and even though I don’t know you, I will always love you. I will always live Ronan, the most beautiful little boy I have ever seen. Please continue this blog. I will check for updated everyday. Hugs and much love from Houston.

    Reply
  68. Lindsay

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you for sharing Ronan with us. I know now that it is possible to love someone you have never met. You changed my life.

    Reply
  69. Therese in Ireland

     /  May 10, 2011

    I cried all day yesterday for you and I’m still crying this morning. I can’t imagine your pain and I wish to God I could take some of it away. Your little rockstar has changed the lives of thousands Maya, literally thousands. What a little ray of sunshine he was. I’m so very sorry that you had to go through all of this, and I’m especially sorry for Liam and Quinn. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing him with us, and for having the strength and courage to log on here and keep us all updated. That just speaks volumes about the kind of person you are and we will be forever thankful. Ronan will be with you forever.

    Reply
  70. Sascha

     /  May 10, 2011

    So, so very sorry for your loss. Ronan’s and your story has touched my heart. As a mother of a 3-year old girl, I can’t imagine what you must be going through. You are amazing and so strong! All the way from Holland, wishing you and your family all the strength and love in world!

    Reply
  71. Beth

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you for sharing your story of Ronan’s passing. You are an amazing women. Prayers and strength for all of you. My heart is heavier with Ronans passing….but I’m hoping this will raise awareness on childhood cancer…and help find a cure. Lots of hugs to you and your boys! xo

    Reply
  72. Kristin

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you Maya for this intimate post. You are strong beyond all words and I hope that you do continue to write, as I’m sure the majority of us will continue to follow. If there is anything more that can be done to keep Ronan’s story alive, please let us know…there is strength in numbers and you have created quite the web of dedicated supporters that will help you in continuing to spread the word of a beautiful Angel’s story. Peace be with you, your family and friends, strength on the hardest of days and love that will be there forever in your heart.

    Reply
  73. MS

     /  May 10, 2011

    I went to high school with Woody & have been following your blogs & praying for your baby. You and your family have invaded my heart & thoughts on a daily bases & it breaks for you now. There are just no words to say how sorry I am…your right, it just makes no sense. Big hugs to the best mom that baby could have had.
    I’ll continue to keep you in my prayers.

    Reply
  74. Paula

     /  May 10, 2011

    Heartbroken for you and your family.
    Such a beautiful and wonderful boy that will be remember by thousands of people some that never even met him because his mama wrote such a beautiful Blog to let the world know just how special he was xx

    Reply
  75. Dave

     /  May 10, 2011

    I don’t have the right words for comfort but it makes me feel better posting the feelings i had flying from Salt Lake to Phoenix: RONAN
    You come from great parents, both Maya and Woody
    And have two awesome brothers, in Liam and Quinn
    Your birth was a milestone, the twelfth day of May
    Rejoiced by your family, the last piece was in
    But lo and behold, the puzzle just started
    And one fucked up day, the roller coaster departed
    The highs were too short., but memories they were
    Thick hair and your eyes, you caused such a stir
    The most beautiful boy, with the face of a mural
    You brought so much joy, when you were a year old
    The day you went in, they discovered a tumor
    Wasnt April Fool’s day, and it lacked all the humor
    From Phoenix to Philly, New York and back flew
    Your mom was a trooper, with your dad held the glue
    So strong in their spirit, So brave in your fight
    They prayed long and hard, to do what was right
    You fought long and hard Ro, the country behind you
    Through tears prayers good faith, We all hoped you’d pull through
    Your Mom kept us in it, With RockStar.com
    Your highs oh we felt them, Lows hit like a bomb
    God bless your parents, so optimistic and true
    They did all they could, But Heaven called you
    Oh why did you suffer?, So painful and evil
    It shatters my heart, like it did many people
    We all were so touched Ronan, You put up a battle
    We’ll never forget you, From Key West to Seattle
    Our lives are all different, Your journey stays with us
    And humble our hearts, when we start to fuss
    There’s so many questions, no answers to blame
    May Rockstar Ronan forever, be an inspirational name.
    Dave Honga..

    Reply
  76. Rebecca Racenet

     /  May 10, 2011

    I wish I knew exactly what to say. Thank you for sharing your love for your son. Through your hope and ultimately your pain you have touched many lives. Many tears are falling as your story is being read. Many hearts are breaking, although none as great as yours’. I do not pretend to know your pain–just know that I am so sorry.

    Reply
  77. leeann turner

     /  May 10, 2011

    To the mamma of Rockstar Ronan, you are amazing and you will always be just one breath away from your baby…

    Reply
  78. Sarah

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, words cannot express my sorrow for you. I have followed your story from the start and cried my way through today’s blog. Having a two year old, I cannot begin to understand the pain you have been in. For the little good it will do you, please know you have been heard worldwide and have so many wishing they could ease your pain.
    xx Sarah, Australia

    Reply
  79. Elizabeth Haworth

     /  May 10, 2011

    God Bless you and your family.

    Thank you for sharing your Ronan with us and letting him touch our lives too. With deepest sympathy, Lizzie

    Reply
  80. Trish

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you for sharing your soul with me. Thank you for sharing your heart, your Ronan. My heart is broken and I’m a stranger. Please always know that Ronan touched more lives in this short time on earth than some people do in a lifetime.
    As you navigate these next few days may you find the strength to get up, get dressed and do what’s needed. I know May 12 is staring at you on the calendar.

    Reply
  81. Leigh Donahue

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so so sorry! Please keep writing to us and I will certainly never forget your precious Ronan. I am glad he is no longer suffering, but I am so sad for what you and your family have lost.

    Leigh Donahue

    Reply
  82. tracy

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so very very sorry for your loss, you have been on
    my mind daily since I was told of your story, I woke up at
    3 am today for what reason I do not know but decided to
    check my e mails and am shocked to find that Ronan left
    this earthly world at this approximate time 2 days ago….
    my heart aches for you and your entire family, may you
    find peace in your heart in your time as you go through
    your journey of grief. words can never express my deepest
    heartfelt sympathy….Ronan was such a brave brave little
    boy, and so beautiful , you Maya are a wonderful Mother
    he was so blessed to have you. your ANGEL is in heaven and will be with you always God Bless Tracy Poulos

    Reply
  83. Kim

     /  May 10, 2011

    Prayers for your family’s healing now….you will never get over it…it will only get easier. Nothing anyone can say will make it better and I won’t even try. Love from another mother having a son with neuroblastoma…Kim

    Reply
    • Marquita Ward

       /  May 10, 2011

      Praying for your son Kim, and your family..that the Lord will fill your needs in Jesus name amen.

      Reply
  84. Liv

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart is broken. Broken for you. Broken for Ronan. I feel selfish, hurting this bad for a child that isn’t even mine. I feel like I should be super strong for you, but I feel broken too. I made you a promise in the beginning and I’m not going to break it. I love you, and I am so very sorry for your loss.
    ~Liv

    Reply
  85. jenn

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya
    I am so sorry for your loss. I like everyone was praying for Ronan to be healed. Cancer is such a horrible disease which I’ve learned first hand from losing both my parents from this stupid disease. I hope you don’t mind but I asked my mom to watch over and comfort your little man. As I’ve stated before you both are such an inspiration to many and I would love for you to continue to blog not only to bring awareness and a cure to this horrible disease but to also let everyone know how you and your family are doing as there are so many of us that love your family. Thank you for being a great inspiration and again I’m so sorry that your family has had to go through all that you’ve endured may you find peace in knowing that Ronan will forever be remembered and he will live on through everyone’s memories and love .

    Reply
  86. julie glenn

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, I don’t know you yet either but some day I hope to meet you…….you poured your heart out to not only to your little Rockstar Ronan but to all of us……as I told you many a times, you are amazing and I am so sorry you and your family had to suffer through this terrible disease with your beautiful son. My love and huge hugs to all of you…..I’m so sorry. Julie Glenn

    Reply
  87. Ben C

     /  May 10, 2011

    As a father of 9 & 5 yr old boys I am without words! So heart broken I just feel so fucking selfish and grateful. Grateful that my little souls have healthy little bodies….selfish that Ronan does not. I am looking for strength in pain…..I am so deeply moved and Pray for your families well being and happiness and good health. I saw Ronan’s picture and he just looked so perfect like a picture out of Jcrew kids magazine…….we live in an ocean of suffering and anyone who does not have children should seriously SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!! You know not what u speak….. Yes I know kiss is kiss but you have no conceptual understanding of what u speak of!! And truly even if u have children if u have not been through the loss of your own child then u should shut the fuck up also!!! That is why I am shutting the fuck up now!!!! I love you Ronan may you guide and protect us all!

    Reply
  88. Rosemary S.

     /  May 10, 2011

    Oh my… I am truly so very sorry. Please know that you all have touched my heart. Your story of life and love will never end. Ronan is a shining star… a rock star. I am honored to witness this, even from afar.
    Your love story with your precious child and family… should be published. Awareness. It could reach millions.
    Love to all of you at this time and forever.

    Reply
  89. Becky

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have no words to say, not sure how you comfort parents in a loss of a child, as a parent and mother my heartbreaks for you. This has changed my outlook on life and I plan on putting my money where my mouth is and donating to help find a cure for this cancer and other childhood cancers. No child should suffer and no parent should feel helpless. G-d bless you all. Thank you for sharing your and most of all Ronan’s story. He has moved many.

    Reply
  90. Lynne

     /  May 10, 2011

    Rest in Peace Ronan…You have made quite an impact on many lives and you will never be forgotten…

    Reply
  91. KT

     /  May 10, 2011

    “TWINKLE,TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR”
    Sweet Ronan, The bravest little boy I have ever known. You have changed so many lives that it is hard to express. Since I have heard about your story, not a day has gone by that I have not thought of you, prayed for you, and cried for you. Because of you, people who did not know there path in life are going back to school to further their education to fight for this horrible disease. Because of you, I’m a better wife, mother, and friend. When I go into check on my babies at night, I think of you, and hold them tight. “SHINE ON, “SHINE BRIGHT” little star!!! I will never forget you!!!

    all my love xoxoxo

    Reply
  92. Ursula

     /  May 10, 2011

    I can’t stop crying. How are things like this even possible in life? Its not fair. Its not fair for the babies and it’s not fair for the families and friends.
    Thank you for being so open with your emotions and allowing us to see what you are feeling. Please continue rocking for Ronan! We will follow. I am praying for each of you.
    Sending you love and peace from Houston, TX.

    Reply
  93. Kerri Witbeck

     /  May 10, 2011

    Nothing else needs to be said, but thank you for sharing Ronan and his story….your story….
    praying for peace and comfort for your family.
    Ronan will NEVER be forgotten and ALWAYS be the reason I am a better mother and person. Thank you Ronan.

    Reply
  94. mandy

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, thank you for sharing this post with all of Ronan’s followers. I know personally he has inspired me in so many ways, a true fighter. You have inspired me to be a better mother to my boys and I am so amazed by your unrelenting love for your boys. I pray for peace for you and your family as you navigate the road ahead and am so thankful I have been able to follow this special little boy’s journey. Thanks for sharing him with the world, Maya. The world is a better place because of him.

    Reply
  95. Nicole Billa

     /  May 10, 2011

    Love is eternal. It never, ever, dies, even though the body may be gone. Love is real.
    Will be praying for you and your family all day, and holding you in our hearts.

    Reply
  96. I’m so sorry that you lost your boy. Thank you for letting so many follow your story. You have taught so many people so much about life, death, and that awful thing we call cancer.

    Unfair.

    I could never have been as strong as you. Hugs to you and your entire family. The only comfort is that he is no longer in pain and that his family was with him and kisses from his dad was the last thing he felt while his mother whispered in his ear. He heard you – I was a nurse – oncology – and your boy heard you and knew it was okay.

    I am so sorry.

    Reply
  97. Dear Maya,

    Never stop writing.
    Ronan will never, ever be forgotten.

    We will never forget meeting him, or you, and will not stop praying for your strength and comfort. We are so deeply sorry for your loss and our hearts ache for you and your family.

    We too long for the cure…

    Love,
    The Hester Family
    Beau, Jessica, and Brooke

    Reply
  98. Tracy

     /  May 10, 2011

    Can’t seem to stop crying. I am praying for your family.

    Reply
  99. Kate

     /  May 10, 2011

    Goodbye sweet Ronan. You are loved. So loved. By so many. And to the mother who loved you, you have humbled us all, and made us see the gift that is our children. I am so deeply sorry. And grateful that you want to continue inspiring us through your words, through your power to love and your power to see the world for what it is. You rock, Maya. And Ronan is the brightest star in the skies. Shining for you and shining inside of you. Always. He will continue to touch us all and bring us to better places.

    Reply
  100. Karen

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so, so sorry to hear that Ronan is gone. I will be praying for you.

    Reply
  101. Brianna

     /  May 10, 2011

    To the bravest family I know:

    Your families strength has inspired so many. Ronan is in my heart today and always even though we have never met. Keep telling your story, we are here and listening..

    Reply
  102. Christine G.

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    I can’t beleve you were strong enough to write those words. What an heartbreakingly beautiful account of your family’s journey. I, along with countless others, will never forget how beautiful life can be because if Ronan! Mixed with my sadness is an incredible rage that this could happen to such a wonderful family. I am determined to fight childhood cancer as well so this stops. Please don’t stop writing! I feel as if it is therapeutic for you to say whatever, no judgment here. Take care if yourself Maya! Please give lots of love to L, Q, & W as well. Sending you love from Colorado.

    Reply
  103. Heather

     /  May 10, 2011

    There really are no right words to say to make things better, to take away your heartache and pain. I can say I have been so inspired by your little Ronan to want to make a difference in this world, to be a better person, to not take my little girl for granted, cherish all of the small things in life, and I now know I can love people I have never met. Ronan was such a courageous, amazing, beautiful little boy, he fought so damn hard.. My heart is aching for you Maya, Woody, Liam, and Quinn.. I hope that your sorrows will be eased by beautiful memories of Ronan. My love and prayers are with you always!!!

    Ronan is proof that small things can make a huge impact on the world…
    “Be faithful in small things because it is there that your strength lies”- Mother Teresa

    Reply
  104. Tiffany Berwind

     /  May 10, 2011

    Ronan will never stop inspiring me. Neither will you or your beautiful family Maya. You are a strong lady and I have a feeling that there will be many more people whos lives you (and Ronan) will change as you make your way. Ronan is in the hearts of everyone he has touched. You are absolutely right, what has happened is “complete nonesense.” No Family should ever have to be faced with what your Family is going through. You all will remain in our thoughts and prayers. We love you Maya.

    The Berwind Family

    Reply
  105. Sophie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have been following for a while now and have never commented, just silently prayed for Ronan despite not being a religious person at all. You, your family and your beautiful baby boy touched my heart. His spirit will always live on inside of those who loved him so deeply. Although Ronan’s little body has left this earth all too soon, his spirit, his uniqueness, his love, his beautiful innocence and everything wonderful about him (and there are just too many to list) will remain ever present. You are an amazing, strong, courageous woman. Ronan will always be a credit to you and your husband; you are truly wonderful parents.

    I know there is nothing I can do or say to make your pain go away but I felt I had to share something from my heart to yours.
    <3

    Reply
  106. Farrah

     /  May 10, 2011

    As everyone has said, there are no words for this. Just want to send love to you all. I am so sorry. Ronan was a perfect, beautiful little soul, and I am so grateful I had the privilege of being a witness to his little life, from afar. Thank you so much for sharing him with all of us. I know you started out just wanting to vent your feelings on this blog, but it ended up being such an act of generosity, letting the world share and love your little boy and family. I hope you know that you won’t be fighting childhood cancer alone. We have all become warriors for Ronan, and so many people will be doing their part to help with the fight. Ronan made a difference. And please know that if you choose to keep talking to all of us, we will listen. I don’t “know” you, but I feel like I do. Your my friend Maya in Phoenix that I’ve never met, but that I love just the same and that I’m heartbroken for. I am so sorry, and I am sending all of my love and prayers out to you.

    Reply
  107. Jen

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya and Woody, my heart aches for you and your entire family. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Jen

    Reply
  108. Jessica Catlin

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart breaks for you. I met Ronan his first day at PCH and have followed his story since. I will say a prayer for him, and for your whole family, at the Ryan House breakfast this morning. Much love your way!

    Reply
  109. Nicole

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you so much for writing this entry. I heard that Ronan had passed and was so worried about you. I don’t know you personally, but we have several mutual friends. I prayed all day on Sunday that Ronan not leave you on Morher’s Day, and that when the time came he could go in peace. Now I pray that you know how loved you are and that that love may help to bouy you as you continue.
    Through your words and Ronan’s fight, you have touched the lives of many. You are amazing woman, and I know that you will do incredible things to fight this evil disease. Say the words, and we are there to do what we can!
    May live and comfort surround you and your family, now and always.

    Reply
  110. Lorie

     /  May 10, 2011

    To the most amazing, inspiring people:
    I have been following your blog since late last fall…. I stumbled upon it and I feel I am so blessed that I did. You are so real and amazing and I am thankful to have been included in Ronan’s journey. I do hope that you don’t stop writing just because his body isn’t on earth.. but I hope you continue becuase his spirit is still here with you and will be forever.

    I hope that the peace continues to be with you and you find strength in the love of Woody, your twins, family, friends and Ronan’s spirit.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I feel like I am your friend.
    Lorie

    Reply
  111. Becky

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya and Woody,

    Reading this, and many of your other blogs, has me sobbing right now. You both are so strong to come out of this fighting and continuing the battle. I lost my sister 10 years ago to Ewing Sarcoma (cancer) when I was 18 years old. Cancer is a horrible disease and makes you feel so helpless. I now have a 1 year old daughter and the things you wrote have hit so close to home and has really put life into perspective. It’s very hard after losing someone, and losing a child is unimaginable. I hope for the both of you that you have a great support system that will stand with you through the years. I used to do Relay for Life and that helped me to deal with a lot of the pain that I felt, so finding a cure is a great mission for you.
    Thank you for all of your blog posts. I feel like I maybe knew Ronan, from a distance. You are truly amazing people and gave the world beautiful children.

    With love,
    Becky

    Reply
  112. Susan

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry that your little Ronan has passed. He did not deserve the pain and suffering that cancer caused. No child does. I am a mother of a child that had cancer and it is a horrible monster that takes too many children. Please give your boys lots of hugs and please know that Ronan has and will continue to capture the hearts of so many. Although I have never met you, I think you are a wonderful mother for everything you did for your son. Your posts are beautiful and heartbreaking, but please continue Ronan’s story.

    Reply
  113. bev

     /  May 10, 2011

    Tears keep falling, my heart goes out to all of you. Be angry, I’m angry…you and Ronan have made such a difference in my life, and in so many thousands of lives…bless you both.
    Please keep writing, it would help us all.
    Know that my love is being sent to all you.

    Reply
  114. Cynthia

     /  May 10, 2011

    Is it possible to miss someone you’ve never met?

    People all over the world are grieving with you today. You have created thisbamazing network of love that, when you are ready, is waiting to be mobilized to fight this disease however possible. We will be ready to follow your lead and honor Ronan’s legacy.

    Reply
  115. Nichole

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dearest Thompson Family~

    Along with many, many others my heart breaks reading this. I have been following Ronan’s journey for quite some time and I too never believed this is how things would happen. I am so so sorry for your loss but I am happy that Ronan slipped away peacefully and is no longer in pain, for I have seen how this nasty disease lingers about. I will continue to pray for your family especially your boys who are far too young to understand. I will continue to follow your amazing blog, as I think you are such an amazing writer and courageous mama bear. I can’t wait to hear all about the twins and all of their adventures. I will also continue to pray for peace and guidance for you and Woody and I PROMISE you that Ronan will forever be in my heart. His story has made me realize the most important things in life..which are the moments we have with our children.

    Lots of Love & Hugs from Californina~
    Nichole

    Reply
    • Nichole

       /  May 10, 2011

      As I read this again I realize the word “happy” just isn’t the right word..I am sorry. I am not “happy” about any of this..in fact I am angry & broken..I should have wrote that I am at peace that he slipped away peacefully. If he had to go :( I am glad it was that way. I just wanted to clarify that..I’m sorry. Lots of love Maya!!

      Reply
  116. Maureen

     /  May 10, 2011

    You, your family and especially Ronan will be in my heart forever. He is a Rockstar who will shine above us all forever. Forever. I stared at the sky last night and the stars were shining so bright…it made me smile.

    I look forward to reading about you always. I look forward to hearing about what you are doing to fight this awful disease. I look forward to hearing what I can do to help this cause. I lost my BFF to this disease when we were 16 years old.

    I am not sure that I will ever run into you to give you the hug, to tell you how my heart aches for you but know that I would love to. I asked Christy to make one of the hugs she gives you from me.

    My daughter and I were using chalk in our driveway last night. I made a bright yellow star, put “RR” in the middle of it….

    Allison: What’s that Mama?
    Me: This is for a Rockstar.
    Allison: I love that.
    Me: Yeah. Me too.

    All my love to you. Today and always Maya. You have touched so many in a way I am not sure you know. Hopefully someday you will understand.

    Take care of yourself, that sweet husband of yours and those boys.

    Maureen

    Reply
  117. jenoel2002

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am SO sorry Maya,Woody,Quinn and Liam and to all of those that Loved Ronan so dearly. I am devastated by the pain I feel because that beautiful little Boy is no longer with us, I may not know any of you but today it seems that does not matter, all that matters is paying my respects to this most courageous little boy and his feisty Mamma. As long as I live I will be forever thankful to the woman who sent me the link about Ronan on twitter or the first time I seen them breathtaking blue eyes on Facebook and fell in love with that smile. Ronan will always be a Hero to me as will every little boy and Girl suffering with this awful fucking cancer! No Flowers, No lame words just a promise to always remember what a hero Ronan was and to always keep fighting for a cure so that this fucking Cancer can be beat in the name of Ronan Sean Thompson and all who have suffered! I can understand why you need to stay in bed and you may need to for a bit to gather your strength because I know you will fight for a cure with all you have for your bright little Star and so many of us Thanks to You and Ronan will be fighting right beside you in any way we can! I will continue to look for your blogs everyday. NO Mother, Father, or Child should EVER have to go through what your Family has gone through and I thank You from the bottom of my heart for finding the strength to be so open and honest but most of all I thank you for giving me the chance to get to know your amazing Ronan and your family. Thank You for showing all of us Mom’s what being a Mom truly means. That little man has changed me as a Mom in many ways and so have you Maya & Woody. sending you lots of love and a whole lot of strength from Michigan. Please let us know how we can join your fight in raising awareness when you are up to it until then please know we are all thinking of you. It just seems fitting to have a star named after Ronan after all I will always see him in the stars and he will NEVER be forgotten.

    Reply
  118. Nico

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so incredibly sorry and deeply saddened.

    Reply
  119. Jennifer Tayman

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Liam & Quinn,
    We have never met, but as I sit here and cry tears of sorrow for your loss, I feel like your family has become a part of my heart. Ronan was too beautiful for words and the bond he shared with you Maya is like something I have never seen. How beautiful it was for you to allow him to lead you through this journey, you are right he WILL always lead you through the rest of your days. Please continue to write as I have followed from the beginning and I need to know if you’re ok. Please accept my deepest sympathies for this tragedy, and never lose faith in those that surround you Maya, as we will all continue to fight with you against this awful disease!
    Jennifer Tayman

    Reply
  120. Stephanie

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Quinn & Liam,

    Words can not express how heartbroken I am for you. May you find comfort in each other during this time and the days ahead.

    Much love,
    Stephanie
    Katy, Texas

    Reply
  121. heather c

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry and heartbroken for you. You did not deserve this, no one does. I love your raw emotions and honesty that you express in your blog. You say the things that real humans feel. I hate all of the “sayings” that people use when someone dies and I don’t understand how people can say those things and really think it makes people feel better. People are so afraid to face the real pain that death brings so they try to sugar coat it and make it somehow happy. It’s total crap and I’ve always thought that people who have that kind of outlook on such a horrific thing like the loss of a child are just not human. I don’t blame you one bit for not wanting to hear any of that crap. I believe in God and go to church every Sunday, but I don’t believe that God plans any of this suffering or hurt. I don’t believe there is a reason for everything, especially this. You are an amazing & passionate mom and I have been forever inspired by your intense love for your baby. You say everything we feel as moms. Please keep writing. Much peace and love to you and your family, and especially your twin boys. They are so lucky to have an amazing mother who will be their rock through all of this. You are a hero. Rest in peace sweet Ronan.

    Reply
  122. Ronan, your beautiful spirit will always be in all our hearts. I will never, ever forget you, your story, your life, your fighting will. I’ll never forget you, my hero.

    Maya, keep writing….
    I can’t wait to join you in fighting cancer, bringing awareness, opening people’s eyes, finding a cure in the name and honor of Ronan.
    Sending lots of love. Always believing
    Alyssa
    COLE Prayer Team

    Reply
  123. Janice

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart is broken for your beautiful family. I just have no words, none. A bright, magnificent light is gone. I am sorry.

    Reply
  124. Laura

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, I am a friend of Sandy’s parents. I have followed your blog since day one, and have shared in your emotional roller coaster. I lost my beloved mother to cancer 2 1/2 years ago, but it does not compare to the loss of a child. You awakened many of the deep feelings and thoughts that once were dormant, but most of all, you reminded me of all the love and joy of precious moments together. My heart aches for you and your family. And please remember, sometimes thoughtless words come from caring and thoughtful minds through good intentions. Often, we don’t know the words to say, and then those trite, cliched expressions come out. So forgive those of us that stumble with the right words, and know that our meaning is that we love you, we ache for you, and we are so sorry. I have my F Y Cancer bracelet that I wear for you and my mother, and I think a purple star is also in order. Keep writing, your words impire us to do and be better. God’s peace to you…

    Reply
  125. Lisa

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya and family,
    I’ve been following you for a few weeks now as I just found about about your family from a friend of a friend. I’m so sorry. What a sweet little guy Ronan is.

    Your writing is inspirational, moving, and full of emotion. You have the ability to make me laugh and cry in one post alone. Keep on writing, it will help your healing. And keep on fighting, Ronan’s watching.
    Xoxo
    Lisa

    Reply
  126. Kim

     /  May 10, 2011

    Ronan and your family have touched my heart. I will never forget him.

    Reply
  127. Karin Nagle

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya

    You do not know me but my daughter Kate is fighting the same horrid diease. I am so very heartbroken for you. I agree with you Neuroblastoma (and all cancers) SUCK! I am so sorry for your suffering and sadness. I am so sad to hear about the loss of your little boy.

    Reply
    • Marquita Ward

       /  May 10, 2011

      Praying right now that the Lord will fill your needs, all of them, in Jesus name amen.

      Reply
  128. I feel so bad, if you ever need to talk in time, I don’t know if I could help, but I share some pain, we lost our 11 year old to an 11 month battle on Christmas Day, 2005. You never forget them, as you never should.

    Reply
  129. chrisie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so unbelievably sad for your family. Ronan will always hold a special place in my heart. Although we only met briefly I’ve read every post. I will continue my work to raise funds to find a cure for nb for Ronan and Ava and all of their friends. Praying for you.
    With tears
    Chrisie

    Reply
  130. Courtney

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry for your loss.
    May your sweet Ronan rest in peace.

    Reply
  131. Rita Dickinson

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry.

    Reply
  132. Katie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so so deeply sorry for your loss. No parent should have to go through what you have gone through. Cancer is bullshit!

    Please know that your story and Ronan’s life have changed our family deeply. Ronan is an amazing guy!

    All of our prayers are with you and your family.

    Reply
  133. Candice

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, I am so very sorry for the loss of Ronan. I have been reading your blog for a few weeks, after a link was shared by a friend of mine. I check it daily and knew something was wrong on Saturday. I could feel it. There are no words, so I won’t even try. But take some comfort in knowing that hearts are aching all over the country for Ronan. You’re not alone. I am only feeling a microscopic fraction of what you are feeling, but I’m overcome with sadness nonetheless. I will hug my boys a little tighter, as I have since I started reading Ronan’s story. I will be a better mother because of Ronan’s story. Don’t let this be the end. I will continue reading if you will contine writing. Let’s all help fight this disease, for Ronan.

    Reply
  134. Jessica

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart is breaking for you, Woody, Liam, and Quinn. I am so so very sorry. Thank you for sharing you story, your little boy, with me, a stranger, and with so many others. Rest in peace sweet, beautiful rockstar Ronan.

    Reply
  135. Laci

     /  May 10, 2011

    You dont know me, we have never met…but I feel as though I know you from this amazing blog. Im so very sorry for your loss. He is the most beautiful little boy and I truly cant imagine how you must feel. He is one lucky boy to have such an amazing, strong, and courageous mother! Thank you for allowing me to walk thru this journey with you….many lives will be changed because of your love for him. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply
  136. tracey

     /  May 10, 2011

    You do not know me but i have been following your story. i have not written before but after reading today with tears falling down my cheeks..i had to write and tell you and your family how very sorry i am for your loss.
    you ask where ronan is? he is the sun shining on your face, the wind blowing in your hair, a ladybug you find on your sleeve, a penny on the ground, a song that comes on the radio at just the right moment, in your favorite sweater..he is everywhere. feel him and love those moments.
    i have suffered loss and know that there are no words to say to ease your pain. i, too, wanted to punch those people in the face who said things like he is no longer in pain…he is in a better place. there is NO better place than being right here with you…i don’t care what anyone says!
    God Bless your beautiful baby boy Ronan…and your family! sending you prayers and strength to get through this difficult time.
    So very very sorry for your loss. thank you for your posts and for making me hold my babies a little tighter each day. i wish you never had to go through this.
    God Bless.

    Reply
  137. I’m so sorry for your terrible loss. What a beautiful boy, what an awful beautiful story. Thank you for sharing your heart.

    Reply
  138. Abby

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart hurts for you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story with us. You are so very strong. I know you are keeping your strength for your twins and no one should have to endure the loss of a child. Ronan was a brave little boy that touched the world.

    Reply
  139. gina dondero-haynie

     /  May 10, 2011

    every morning i looked for your blog and two days had gone by, i knew…… i would go along with my day and look again and again still nothing. i wish i could have done something!!!! i am so sorry for your loss of little ronan and the pain you too have had to go through. your family is always in my thoughts. your amazing for the love you filled ronon’s soul with and he will forever have that. xoxo

    Reply
  140. Robin

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    I wish I could hug you and tell you how very sorry I am. This truly is a wake up call to us all. Your love is completely contagious and so very real. We all are forever changed from you and little Ronan. Love you

    Reply
  141. Nicola Hogberg

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Liam, Quinn and Ronan.

    Never have a written before, but I have been following your blog all year now. In fact since David Honga, a high school friend of my husband had visted us. He shared your story and he gave me a ‘rockstar ronan’ shirt . Little did i know at that time how much your story would touch me and my family. As a young woman with 3 young children. I will never take for granted there health. Your strength as husband and wife is truly incredible, a true definition of two become one. You both have inspried me beyond words. I prayed for Ronan to get better and i prayed that one day he could go home and play with his brothers whilst you both watched on…i wanted him to kick this cancers ass so bad. This isn’t why we have children, he was taken to early and it is not fair. Please continue on, find the strength from somewhere. I know you have it in you. Ronan, Liam and Quinn need you now more than ever. What an incredible family. I love you all. Again, I am so sorry for you loss, cancer is evil. I will continue to pray for you all. Lots of love and hugs. xoxox

    Reply
  142. Darci

     /  May 10, 2011

    I just want to say that I am deeply saddened. I have followed your blog and will continue to do so. I cry everytime i read your posts. Ronan’s story has touched so many lives. I will always remember his story. I am sending lots of love and hugs to you and your family!

    Reply
  143. Anne

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so very sorry for your loss of your sweet boy Ronan, he will be missed greatly. I will never understand why these little innocent children have to suffer through these horrible diseases. It is not fair. Please take care of each other.

    Reply
  144. Dear Maya and Woody, My friend, Jessica Hester, has been asking for prayers for your family in the past several days. I wish words were adequate to ease a bit of your pain – but please know that your family is on the hearts and minds of so many people right now.

    Marilyn

    Reply
  145. Joe, Robin Bryce and Braden Schierscher

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    Your pain is deeper then we could ever imagine! Your strength is big enough to move mountains. You are an amazing women and Mother! You have every right in the world to be pissed off! And I believe you will use the anger you have for good. Prayers for your whole entire family will remain in our hearts and minds.

    Reply
  146. Michelle McPhea

     /  May 10, 2011

    I don’t know where you find the strength to continue sharing with all of us, Maya. But you are truly one of grace. I hope you can feel some of the outpouring of love that so many of us who never had the pleasure of meeting you or your son feel deeply in our hearts for all of you.

    We’re still with you, still behind you. Let us know where you want to take this fight. Lead us. You have all of our support and love, and we’re here to help you wage this war against cancer, in Ronan’s name, until we have won.

    Reply
  147. Carly

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am in tears. The Grace of God WILL get you through this. My husband and I along with our three girls have been praying for Ronan every night for months! Bless your hearts and may peace truly be with you all!

    All our Love and Sympathy,

    Jay, Carly, Magdalene, Ann and Claire Lappe

    Reply
  148. saidi

     /  May 10, 2011

    No words. Just sorrow. And love, so much love for you all!!

    Reply
  149. caroline

     /  May 10, 2011

    I just cannot believe this could happen to any mother, father, brother, grandparent…the pain and loss of Ronan. I am so very sorry and heartbroken. I pray for your relief from the sadness and loss.

    Reply
  150. There aren’t words for the sadness I feel for the loss of your beloved Ronan. You have captured all of our hearts with your story, and I have prayed and hoped fiercely for a different ending. I wish I had something to say or do to comfort you, but the best I can do is tell you what an amazing woman and mother I think you are, and I am so thankful that you have such a strong group of support around you right now to help carry you through the days ahead.

    Meanwhile, know that there are others out there in the world, like me, who will do what we can to help find a cure for this monster. Just say the word and I think you’ll find thousands of us to help.

    Love, hugs and peace to you and your family today, Maya.

    Reply
  151. Kim F

     /  May 10, 2011

    MOST BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORY…..LOVE, LOVE, LOVE

    Reply
  152. darlene

     /  May 10, 2011

    Though I have never met you or Ronan. I heard about his fight from Sheri. I have been praying for him since I heard about his fight. Ronan is the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen. I am so sorry for your loss. I feel as though I got to know him in reading along with your blog and my heart aches. I hope you do continue in the fight against this nasty cancer. And be proud knowing that though tons of us have never met him he still impacted our lives deeply. Ronan will forever be in my thoughts and prayers along with your family.

    Reply
  153. Lori Lewis

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya
    I am so unbelievably sad for you, your family, incredible friends and especially Ronan. He was an amazing child and the world can not be better now without him in it. I will miss him everyday especially when I see his little friends swimming with me when he should be right there with them. Life is so f****** cruel and I am so sorry. I will NEVER forget him. Please know my prayers and tears of sadness are with you everyday.

    Reply
  154. Peggy Barrett

     /  May 10, 2011

    To Ronan’s Family & Mom,

    Maya,
    I hurt for you last night deep down to my core when I read he was gone. I lost my son 5 years ago to illness 6 weeks after his 3rd birthday. I cried for you and thought once again another mother and family are without their child. It is not the natural order of things, nor is it easy to watch children be sick. I hope you can use all your energy to keep Ronan’s Foundation going and maybe 5 years from now Neuroblastoma will be GONE! You will suffer the hardest through this and I am sure you know that. The bond a mother and child share is like no other on earth. Every night I would pray to God if I could just see him in my dreams that would help me along, and I did 2 or 3 times and they were real and vivid and I could smell his skin :) He is always going to be there, Over you, next to you, around you. One of the very very hardest things for me was seeing his headstone, my baby’s name etched permenently in a stone and it took my breath away for few weeks, 5 years on the other side of this I will tell you only one thing. The grief changes, it takes on different shape, it will become managable, in your own way. One day I can talk about my son freely with no hesitation and the next day, the lump in my throat to utter his name out loud is just too much to bare. Use his journey to help others, the love story of you and Ronan is inspriational and it’s what we all seek to have.Shout out from rooftops his journey and make the world understand this can’t keep happening.
    May peace surround you and the other men in your life right now.
    Houston, Texas

    Reply
  155. angie

     /  May 10, 2011

    maya i sat last night consumed in your blog, read the whole thing over completely from day one! My heart aches,it so aches for you, woody , quinn, liam and is seems that you all are now so much a part of my life with out even knowing! i was so worried when i didnt see a blog the other night and my heart just knew! mothers instinct i guess, you emotions thru this all make me want to hold my kids, kiss them tell them i love them a million times over, cuz you just never know! As i sat reading thru all the good times bawling thru the struggles, my 6yrs old asked mom “why are you crying?” is it becuz of Rockstar Ronan? i covered my head in my sweatshirt and i lost it! then i feel little fingers pull my sweatshirt down and say “mom ill wipe your tears away” “i love you” and i stopped and just starred at my child looking as if all my love was going into her eyes, as i sat thinking how brave (maya) you are, and how i can feel your journey isnt over its just beginning, Ronan is in the hearts of so many and His Journey thu this will help save the life of another child! i hugged my daughter and went to each of my kids (4) as they were sleeping to kiss each and everyone of them and whisper in there ear how much i love them! Then sat and thought about what a courageous Mother you are, how thru all the times you always had the best interest of your son, and you really taught me that a Mothers Love is No Joke! I took alot of things for granted with my life my kids, this and that and becuz of YOU i want to be the best mother i can be, i want to teach my kids the acts of kindness,and that the little things in life can mean so much it doesnt have to be about having the best, its about having the LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS, being the best people that i can raise!
    I will never forget Ronan and your family as your STORY is forever embedded in my life and my heart!
    Maya i want to thank you for teaching me to be to be a better more patient mother, a more affectionate mother, it is bcuz of Ronans journey that now i can be the mother i know i was ment to be.(i always wondered what my purpose was) Now i know!
    I can only imagine your pain, i cant say i know how your feeling, I dont, but i know that after reading this blog today, you are a ONE HECK OF A MOM, the courage it took to pull it together and see the peace in it all, and to do so, so gracefully, honestly, my hope is that you continue to fight for a cure and I KNOW YOU WILL!
    I just want to thank you for sharing and hope you continue to keep sharing, your life isnt over and i want to hear about all the GREAT THINGS YOU DO! You are now my mentor forever, and i cant thank you enough! I am forever greatful!
    I love you all, and sweet Ro-may you be always be a shining star! you stoled my heart!
    angie

    Reply
  156. Jill Hill

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya and Woody,

    All I can say is I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that you will continue to be strong for Quinn and Liam and your treasured Ronan will never, ever, ever be forgotten. May you find peace in your memories. I hope that you will continue to write about your family’s next chapter of this journey as I will be praying for you.

    Jill Hill

    Reply
  157. Tina

     /  May 10, 2011

    Ronan couldnt have a better mom than you Maya!! You inspire me to be the best mom I can be and to remember to always cherish what you have! There are no words to comfort your pain so I wont even try! Ronan touched my heart and I will always remember those big blue eyes! Good luck to you, Woody and the boys; you are all wonderful people. I will look to the stars and find that brightest one knowing that it is Little Ronan

    Reply
  158. Dawn

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Even though I didn’t personally know Ronan or your family, I feel as if I had through reading your blog. My heart aches for you all right now. I will never forget that precious little boy of yours, his beautiful little face is etched in my memory forever. I will continue to follow your blog and continue to be amazed by the fight and love that you have within you. Sending all my love and prayers to you and yours.

    Reply
  159. Christina

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry for your pain. I, too wish that they would come up with a cure for cancer, ALL cancers! I watched my husband pass in the most horrific of ways, and I know how that rips your heart clean out of your chest! You wonder how in the world will you get out of bed each day? How will you find the strength to do the everyday things? It seems that each day is more difficult, but I can tell you that each day you will get stronger. Each day you will be guided by your most beautiful son and his love that will never leave you. But it will take time. I am not an expert by any means, but I can tell you that each day, month and year that passes you will find more and more strength. I find it hard to believe that children have to suffer this way. I don’t understand it myself. I know how difficult it is to explain to your children the loss. I hope that you can find what you need to move forward and not give up the fight. Your words are so full of passion, love and determination that I think you would be well suited to put your words into a book. If you decide to do that, be sure to share the news. Because I for one would be in line to buy it!
    Much love to you and your family. From someone in Illinois that thinks you are an inspiration to many!

    Reply
  160. Maya,So glad you were able to continue your blog as we were all hanging not really knowing for sure what had happened to Baby Ro.Your right no one can know what you went through unless they have walked in your exact shoes.I have not,have I lost loved ones,oh yes but never in your shoes but right now I feel the pain that one might feel going through this especially as a grammie!You my dear have no doubt proven to yourself you are one force to reckon with!!That baby boy was so proud of you and trusted in you to the bitter end and you NEVER let him down.You know you can make a difference with all this in his name or you can lay in bed and give up!!Which do you think he would want his mama to do?Take this and stand tall knowing you were/are the best momma any little boy could ever want .You didnt fall apart Maya you were there to the very end and you should be so very proud of yourself!All of us here are soo proud of you!Again thank you for sharing your journey with us as each one of us have learned something from this.Take special care of you boys and Woody as you will continue to be strong for them as thats what we MOMs do!You are such a strong women and so proud of all youve done as I also feel a part of your family!Wish I could be there to be of help and at least hug you!Your really a great person!Be strong Maya!

    Reply
  161. Kristie

     /  May 10, 2011

    As I read your blog each morning I was inspired to live in the moment and not take my children for granted…not for a minute!!! when there had been no updates…i just cried…I knew he had left us, all of us that had been pulling so hard for his recovery! You are an incredibly strong and amazing woman, wife and mother. You seem to have wonderful friends and family that will help you through the transitions in life.
    I struggle to find words to help comfort you, and I am afraid I am not very eloquent with my thoughts.
    Please just know that there are many people out there pulling for your family. Thank you for sharing your life and story and Ronan with us!!!! Much love and hugs.

    Reply
  162. I’m so sorry for your beautiful family’s loss.

    Reply
  163. kristina

     /  May 10, 2011

    I woke up this morning thinking about this book ( The Next place) and had a strong feeling that I wanted to read it. I read it over and over to myself, my three children are sound asleep in their beds. A picture or their father hanging above their heads, one for each of their rooms. He is no longer with us, he died at the young age of 31, we still needed him though. then I went onto my computer to check on your family and to see how Ronan is doing today. I cried as I read todays post, about how Ronan is not here anymore and dried my face, Then I cried again.
    This is the story by Warren Hansen (I wish you could see the pictures because they are just as beautiful as the story). THE NEXT PLACE

    The next place that i go will be as peaceful and familiar as a sleepy summer sunday and a sweet, untroubled mind.
    And yet…it won’t be anything like any place I’ve ever been… or seen… or even dreamed of in the place i leave behind.
    i won’t know where I’m going, and I won’t know where I’ve been as I tumble through the always and look back toward the when.
    I’ll glide beyond the rainbows. I’ll drift above the sky. I’ll fly into the wonder, without ever wondering why.
    I won’t remember getting there. Somehow I’ll just arrive. But i’ll know that I belong there and will feel much more alive than i have ever felt before. I will be absolutely free of the things that I held onto that were holding onto me.
    The next place that I go will be so quiet and so still That the whispered song of sweet belonging will rise up to fill the listening sky with joyful silence, and with unheard harmonies of music made by no one playing, like a hush upon a breeze.
    There will be no room for darkness in that place of living light. Where en ever-dawning morning pushes back the dying night.
    The very air will fill with brilliance, as the brightly shining sun. And the moon and half a million stars are married into one.
    The next place that I go won’t really be a place at all. There won’t be any seasons- Winter, Summer, Spring, or Fall-
    Nor a Monday, Nor a Tuesday, nor December, nor July. And the seconds will be standing still… While hours hurry by.
    I will not be a boy or girl, a woman or a man.
    I’ll simply be just, simply, me. No worse or better than.
    My skin will not be dark or light. I won’t be fat or tall.
    The body I once lived in won’t be part of me at all.
    I will finally be perfect. I will be without a flaw. I will never make one more mistake, or break the smallest law.
    And the me that was impatient, or was angry or unkind, will simply be a memory. The me I left behind.
    I will travel empty-handed. There is not a single thing I have collected in my life that I would ever want to bring except… the love of those who loved me, and the warmth of those who cared. The happiness and memories and the magic that we shared.
    Though I will know the joy of solitude…I’ll never be alone. I’ll be embraced by all the family and friends i’ve ever known. Although I might not see thier faces, all our hearts will beat as one, and the circle of our spirits will shine brighter than the sun.
    I will cherish all the friendship I was fortunate to find, and all the love and all the laughter in the place I leave behind.
    All these good things will go with me. They will make my spirit glow. And that light will shine forever in the next place that I go.

    I am sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  164. Renae C.

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dearest sweet Thompson family,

    Your journey has changed us forever and Ro will forever live in our hearts,soul, and spirit. Maya and Woody, we will always send you our prayers,positive thoughts and light. With sincere love.

    Reply
  165. Scott H.

     /  May 10, 2011

    There is nothing to say that will make Anything better. I am SO VERY sorry. His life and yours have made a lasting impression on mine. Thank you for sharing and giving such inspiration to so many. The story never should have ended. No words could never express how I feel for you and your family.

    Reply
  166. Emly Innocenti

     /  May 10, 2011

    I love you Maya. “I will punch you in the face”; between the tears that are pouring down my face you made me laugh out loud with that comment. I love that you still have that fight and determination in you; something I’ve always admired. The journey is not over, and if anyone can make something happen to bring awareness about this terrible disease and push for a cure to be found, it’s you. Look how much you’ve done in just 8 months, imagine what is going to happen in 8 years! You and your family are amazing and I am so sorry you had to endure all of this. I hope to be able to see you in WA soon. Lots of love, Emily and Justin

    Reply
  167. Hillary

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am mad and sad with you.

    Reply
  168. Michelle Lewis

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya-

    My heart is completely broken for you. No mom or family should ever have to watch their baby or brother slowly pass away. I wish I had some words to bring comfort but honestly I can’t think of a single reason why this is ok. He is such a beautiful boy and so young. Your words are beautiful and although I cry every time I read what you post, I am so impressed by your gift of beautifully relaying your life to all of us. Your a wonderful mom and I hope if anything, you can find a little comfort knowing how much love you gave him while here and forever. All my thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply
  169. Laura

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart is broken for you. You are an amazing mother and Ro was so blessed to have you to carry him through this awfulness. I am so sorry!!!!! I will not ever take a day for granted because of Ronan. xoxo Woody, Quinn, Liam, You, and Ronan, will be in my thoughts and prayers!!!

    Reply
  170. Tiffany S.

     /  May 10, 2011

    You and your family have inspired us in so many ways. I wish that it would have been something else that could have inspired us, as you don’t deserve to have gone through any of this. I never got the chance to meet your beautiful little Rockstar but his memory will forever be imprinted on my heart. I am so very heartbroken for you and your family and wish there was a way that I could fix it all for you. I will still continue to pray for peace for you and your family. Ronan is a hero to all of us.

    Tiffany S.

    Reply
  171. angela

     /  May 10, 2011

    Oh honey I am so sorry for your loss. I was thinking of you on mothers day. You are an amazing mommy. Thank you so so much for sharing your story. Our family has been thru the same thing as I had wrote to you before. If I may gently suggest a foundation for those who have lost a child. They are wonderful and helped our family so much in the healing. And thwy are wonderful at honoring the memory of our little angels. In case you need it, they are called the M.I.S.S. Foundation. There website is http://www.missfoundation.org . Please let me know if you ever want to talk or need in formation about them.I will continue to share your blog with others and hug my son a little tighter. Bless you and your family.

    Reply
  172. Nikki Sullivan

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    I’m so sorry for your loss, I have read your blog and I feel like I know you. You don’t know me but you’ve made me a better mom to my boys. I will continue to pray for you, thank you for sharing your story, Ronan has touched my heart forever. Prayers and may God bless Ronan and your beautiful family, Nikki Sullivan (Redwood City, CA)

    Reply
  173. Amy

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart is broken. I will never forget little Ronan and the impact he had on my life.

    Reply
  174. Katie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am very sorry for your loss. I too have lost many to cancer but never a child. Thank you for sharing your story with everyone. I personally just heard about your son. But I plan to go back and read everything from start to finish. Good luck to you and the rest of your family in keeping your heads up. I look forward to reading your journey. Your son and your family story has inspired me to embrace life to the fullest. Keeping you and your family in my thought and prayers. Also! Good luck in finding a cure for this crap! You sound like a strong woman! You can do this. For RONAN!

    Reply
  175. Stephanie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have started this comment 4 different times now not sure what to say. Your story has touched me in a way that I can not explain, of course it’s your story and I don’t need to tell you that. No sappy words, no stupid sayings, just know I am praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  176. Christy

     /  May 10, 2011

    Ronan will forever be in our hearts. Thank you, Maya, for allowing us to get to know Ronan, you, Woody, Liam and Quinn through your blog. You are an amazing woman and I would be honored to keep reading your blog. Ronan will forever be with all of us who where touched by your words!! Maya, someday I hope to meet you, it would be my honor!! Sending you peaceful thoughts, love, hugs and prayers!

    Reply
  177. Dana

     /  May 10, 2011

    Truly heartbreaking!! I want to Thank You for sharing Ronans story with the world. Your blog has inspired & changed so much in my life. I have said before that I am addicted to reading your entries everyday & please do not to stop telling your story. I will continue to tell people about Ronan & spread the word of awareness! You & Your family will forever hold a special place in my heart.

    Reply
  178. Denise

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so very sorry for your loss of your beautiful little boy. A quote I once heard comes to mind, “For some things in life there simply are no words.” This is definitely one of those times. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your loved ones.

    Reply
  179. Krista

     /  May 10, 2011

    Sending love your way. You, your family and that gorgeous Rockstar of yours have captured many hearts. You have touched the lives of so many and I also hope you continue to write as there is so much more to this story. Shine on Ronan!

    Reply
  180. Amber

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Quinn, and Liam. I am so sorry for your loss. I don’t know your family, but like so many other people on this site, Maya, you have touched us with your words and made us feel a part of your world. Thank you for sharing your story. And Thank You to Ronan who opened so many people’s eyes to what is really important in life and not to sweat the small stuff. He’s changed my life and I am so grateful for that and for you Maya. You are an amazing woman and so strong. Please keep writing. Please keep us up to date on things we can do to help spread the word so we can get a cure for this nasty fucking disease.
    Love to you all.

    Reply
  181. Deb Gilbert

     /  May 10, 2011

    “The death of a child is the single most traumatic event in medicine. To lose a child is to lose a piece of yourself.” ~ Dr. Burton Grebin

    “Rockstar Ronan” ~ This is where I go before I log onto my e-mail in the mornings, before I check my business websites or do anything personal … I have to see what has happened next. I cried all day yesterday, when there was no new post … then my/your friend Care called me & I knew before I answered, what she would say. I cried & cried, but tried to be strong around my 3 year old little girl … but when I got myself put back together, I shared with her too, as she & I have knelt many a day, to pray for a miracle & if not that, than Peace & Comfort for You first, dear Mother & then for the rest of your precious family … and friends alike.

    Xarianna cried too … though I’m uncertain to what extent she understands … but we will never stop praying for You ~ or forget about Ronan … We were not blessed with meeting him or you in person, but our hearts have met & bonded to His precious soul & to your beautiful words that you are so strong to write.

    I cried & prayed for you & whole family/friend base last night, over & over again! I clung tight to my Xari … I tried to make as much extra time with her as I could find ~ as sometimes I find myself ‘to busy’ to play ~ but now … I will cherish, even more the time that we have ~ life IS too short!

    I woke up, sat down with my coffee & started to Read your Blog ~ and have now soaked about a whole roll of toilet paper already. He will be in my heart & soul forever now … Little Ronan … How my heart aches for you, Dear Mother (especially) … but I read amazing peace in your words … I don’t know if I could be that strong, if it was me … I hope you Will keep this blog going!!! I hope you will use it to get all of your heart-felt thoughts out … it has truly touched me & I’m sure, so many others ~ and God only knows … maybe someday another mother will be going through the same & be encouraged by your words… I hope to see You & Ronan’s Spirit sharing with us, your life with your other precious children … and letting Ronan’s Spirit & God guide you away from this pain & into your dream of being that tool to create AWARENESS & ‘Cure’ this horrifying cancer!!!

    Thank you, Maya, for sharing your heart with me (and so many others) in this blog. I want you to Know that I’m hugging your heart and though I can’t even begin to fathom your pain, I hope you feel a little comforted that someone else cares. Ronan’s Blog is a tab @ the top of my I-net screen that I log onto the moment I sit down in the morning … my tears have flowed into rivers for him/You/Your Family … I am a stranger in person, but not at heart.

    L♥ve, Prayers }}}} ~ Always
    ~Deb (Norm & Xarianna) Gilbert~
    Scottsdale, AZ

    Reply
  182. Linda

     /  May 10, 2011

    You don’t know me but I have followed your blog. There are no words to ease your pain. I just recently lost a loved one too and I got so sick of hearing the words I am sorry! (I too wanted to punch them in the face! ;-) The strength you display being able to describe the last moments of Ronan life is unbelievable. You inspire me to be a better mom and so mad at myself that I don’t take the time to enjoy my little one more. Sending you strength and love that you will some how make it through this. It sounds like you are surrounded by a wonderful family & support system. After reading your blog it seems as if you are the biggest support right back to your family too! Take care of yourself don’t feel guilty about taking a day to yourself either you will not regret it!

    Reply
  183. Laura

     /  May 10, 2011

    Our love to your entire family. You all are more than an extraordinary family. I know you feel the true outpouring of love. I hope you can find some peace that you have truly change so many lifes. No parent should have sorrow of what you all have had to endure. All our love to your entire family, hold on to each other.

    Reply
  184. SarahJ

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya- I’ve learned so much. You are an amazing mother and teacher. You and Ronan have made such an impact on my life its incredible. My heart is broken. Cancer stole my mother from me when I was 13. I whispered everything I could to her that night before we fell asleep as well. They know Maya. They hear us. She watches over me as he will watch you. I’m not going anywhere. Shine on little star. xo

    Reply
  185. Tosha Kobold

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, though I have never met you and do not know you personally I love you….You and your family have opened my eyes to all the little things that I should be thankful for. You are all in my thoughts and prayers twenty-four hours a day seven days a week. I will continue to follow your blog, and will help any way I can to find a cure for this aweful disease.

    Reply
  186. Colleen

     /  May 10, 2011

    I will continue to pray for your family. I am so sorry for your loss. Ronan ‘s story is just beginning! I have been praying for peace and pray you continue to feel the peace of God in this horrible loss. Love ya Colleen from Longview

    Reply
  187. Marquita Ward

     /  May 10, 2011

    Ronan will be forever etched on my heart..your family will be in my prayers…I will continue to read how you are doing..so very sorry that Ronan is not around to give you the physical things you will miss terribly from him..but I do know you will sense his spirit..his memory lives on forever and I am thankful for that.

    Reply
  188. Dana

     /  May 10, 2011

    i am so sorry for your family. Your story has touched my heart and made me look at life in a new and better way. I am praying for comfort and peace for you and your boys.

    Reply
  189. Lane

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Im SOO sorry there are no words I can say. I’ve read your blog religously.. I have prayed for your family, and I will continue to do so. My heart breaks for yall. I hate that you all had to go through this. I HATE CANCER. Please know that I will NEVER forget Ro, and I WILL make a difference in this world, and I WILL help end childhood cancer. I’m SOOOOOO sorry, my heart breaks.

    Reply
  190. Susan M

     /  May 10, 2011

    There are no words that will ever take away your pain and your loss. Rockstar Ronan was brought into our hearts and homes through your words, sharing with us for a brief time the beautiful soul that was your heart and soul. Thank you for sharing the journey that no parent ever wants to venture. Sharing your heart, strengths, fear, sorrows, all the while bringing awareness to this awful disease. I met you briefly at PCH at the start of your journey and have shared your story with so many. Liv shared Ronans story at our Relay and Ronan will be our “RockSTAR of Hope”. I hope you will continue to share your heart and words with us, as this journey is NOT over! Ronan will live on in so many of us and I will not stop fighting for a cure or spreading awareness. Loving thoughts and hugs sent your way.

    Susan M.

    Reply
  191. insertwittytitleheremomstired

     /  May 10, 2011

    Oh Maya. You have done such an amazing job putting Ronan’s story in to beautiful words. I hope you are surrounded by the love of your friends and family now. Ronan will always be in my thoughts. Hell, I can’t hear a Pink song now without thinking of him. Such an amazing spirit. Thank you for sharing his journey with us. We will still be here for you no matter what you may need.

    Reply
  192. Shari

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear Maya,

    I am friend of a friend, and I am so saddened by your unimaginable loss. Please know how deeply sorry I am. I hope that one day when I am visiting Etta, I will be able to give you the hug that I so desperately want to give you right now.

    Please keep writing . . .

    Reply
  193. tamicamoberg

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry for the pain you are all going thru right now,my heart absolutley breaks for you all.No parent should have to go thru the loss of their child especially the way you all did.You really inspire me more than you’ll ever know,you are an amazing mother and are very gifted.I never met Ronan but he will be in my heart forever and ever.We are always praying for your family.Beautiful little Ronan and your family will be loved for eternity!!!!!

    Reply
  194. Jane

     /  May 10, 2011

    “I want to keep writing to all of you. I hope that is o.k.”

    Please, please, please do so! Maya – your words have touched so many of us an have been an incredible tribute to your beautiful son. You will continue to be an inspiration as you fight for a cure. I’m from your hometown, you don’t know me, but I will be one of the first ones in line to remember Ronan and continue to fight for you and that beautiful boy.
    Your story is amazing. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    Reply
  195. Jamie

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear sweet Maya,
    I wish there was something I could say that would comfort you and Woody and the boys. Ronan has forever changed my life in ways I never thought possible. He has changed my husband and my kids as well. We are all heartbroken over the loss of Ronan. Please know you are all in our thoughts and prayers and Ronan will forever be in my heart. We love you all.

    Love, Jamie (Simpson Harms)

    Reply
  196. Laura

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear maya, i am so very sorry. My heart is broken, i was reading this post on my way to work crying my eyes out. I have learned so much about life from ronan, his story reminds me everyday to not sweat the small stuff to give hugs a kisses to my babies and always say i love you… his story has moved me. I would live to help raise awareness. Your an anazing mother and i hope i am able to be as good as you are.
    So so sorry,
    Laura
    Please dear god take care of ronan and please surround maya,woody,liam & quinn always, <3

    Reply
  197. Dianne

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Quinn & Liam,

    My deepest sympathy for your loss. Ronan is an amazing little guy. Thank you for sharing his story.

    Reply
  198. Desiree

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, as many have already said, there are no words… but you and your family have touched and changed so many lives, and of people who don’t even know you, but now feel like they do. I really do hope you keep writing. You are an amazing writer, and are so strong to be able to write during such a traumatic time. Thank you so much for telling your story and being so honest and open. You will all be on my mind and in my heart forever. I am praying for you all, every day, for strength and peace. Take care….

    Reply
  199. Brianne

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thompson Family,

    I want to give my deepest and most sincere condolences. This news breaks my heart. That being said, I know Ronan will always be remembered, always have a spot in the Thompson family, as well as in each of our hearts. You are a truly inspirational woman, Maya. I admire your strength and courage and resent the pain you’ve had to endure as a mother. I am so sorry! You will all be in my prayers.

    All my love,

    Brianne Lugo

    Reply
  200. Katie

     /  May 10, 2011

    Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.-

    I am truly sorry for your loss, but so greatful for your willingness to share Ronans story. My heart is heavy for you today.

    Goodbye sweet boy.

    Reply
  201. marcy lyon

     /  May 10, 2011

    dear maya,

    you continue to amaze me with your strength, grace and poignant, honest words. i am so sorry for you, woody, quinn and liam. i can only hope that the strong love you all share with and for one another will be what gets you through this most difficult time. i hope ronan’s “gigi” will be a source of comfort for quinn.

    thank you for sharing ronan and the incomprehensible and unfair journey life sent you on, and for inspiring us all to be better people, parents and siblings. your drive, love and can-do additude are forces that cannot be reckoned with. i admire you as a mommy, wife and friend. you are one amazing lady, and we all should aspire to be the kind of person you are.

    i hope you continue to write on this blog. you have captured the hearts and love of so many. i want to follow your “new” journey and love story, and see and hear about all of the good things you are doing in ronan’s name and honor to fight this ugly, unfair and cruel disease. once you begin your new journey, please let me know if there is anything you need done in league city/houston, texas, and i will be at your service.

    ronan has captured and will always have a piece of my heart. i will always share his story and his beautiful pictures. i was looking at a slideshow of pictures of ronan last night, and one of my four year old twins asked me who that was and i told him about ronan. as he watched the slideshow, he kept saying “i love ronan”.

    i am sending my deepest heartfelt sympathy, much love and many hugs. i hope you can feel the love and hugs and draw strength from them.

    Reply
  202. Joline

     /  May 10, 2011

    Mya and Family-
    Though myself like a lot of these folks may not have known your family personaly i can assure you the story of your precious little man has touched my heart in so many ways. I believe you are right, and his story doesnt have to end here, and in some ways it is just begining. He sounds like a very precious little boy and has touched so many lives. But more important then that he has taught all of us that we should not take life for granted and treasure every moment we have with our loved ones, and hug them just a little tighter. My heart goes out to you and your family, and your sons memory will forever be in all of our hearts and on our minds.
    Love all the way from alaska, the north star shines brighter because of your son. And will continue to do so:)
    J-

    Reply
  203. Sheryl Mobley

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you for keeping us posted. I prayed this morning for your family to stay together and be stronger than ever. I’m glad you have a solid support group. I look forward to following your journey as you find a cure. Love you XOXOXO.

    Reply
  204. Tonya

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    Like many others, I have found myself checking your blog constantly looking for updates on Ronan. I’ve been angry when you’re angry, happy when you’re happy, and sad when you are sad. My heart is broken for you and your family and I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. As the tears pour out of my eyes, words cannot describe my sadness for you. I have come to love Ronan and your family, your journey together, your love story. It has touched my life. I will forever hold my babies tighter, love them more, and appreciate every single moment with them more. You are an amazing momma bear and you fought for your baby bear cub with more love and courage than I ever knew existed. Maya, you are an amazing, inspiring woman and I have no doubt that you will make a difference in the NB world. Thank you for that, for continuing to fight this horribly ugly disease, so other parents and children won’t have to walk the road you’ve walked and suffer the heartache you are suffering. I’m happy that you will continue to share your story because it does not end here; Ronan’s story is not over!! He is still with you. His spirit will be with you forever and I pray you continue to feel his presence and it gives you comfort and peace. Look for him in the wind that blows, the flowers that bloom, the sun that shines, and the rain that falls. He will always be there and he will forever be in your heart.

    As I’m writing this, my 4 year old is singing twinkle twinkle little star. It seems a little odd because that’s not a song we have sang in a while, but I think we will sing it a little more often, for Ronan. I have always said to my boys “I love you forever and ever” and since we’ve added “to the moon and back” my 4 year old tells me a million times a day he loves me forever and ever and to the moon and back. It melts my heart and I will appreciate those sweet words more than ever before because of Ronan’s story. Thank you for sharing his story with us. We will miss him. Please know that we are forever Rockstar Ronan Fans (you could probably call us groupies!) and we will always love you and support you and keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

    Sending you much love, hugs, and prayers from (near) Pittsburgh, PA, to the moon and back!

    Tonya
    (Mom to Tyler, 4, and Andrew, 2)

    Reply
  205. Gina F

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    Thank you for letting me follow your journey. I am beyond sorry that you and your family had to endure so much pain. You are a beautiful person inside and out. I don’t quite understand why life can be so cruel.

    The next time you are in Washington, let me know. I want to give you a hug.

    Reply
  206. My heart breaks for you and your precious family. I’ve been praying for you and sweet little Ronan and will continue to do so. May you somehow find peace and continue to find strength in his presence.

    Reply
  207. Susan

     /  May 10, 2011

    My thoughts, prayers and love are with you and your family. Maya, Woody, Liam and Quinn. . . I am so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace beautiful Ronan.

    Reply
  208. Mary

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart and soul ache for your beautiful family. Thank you for sharing Ronan with us.

    Praying that you can all somehow find peace, strength and comfort.

    Reply
  209. Mike

     /  May 10, 2011

    I only discovered this blog last night, after a tweet was retweeted by actress Julie Benz. I was curious about it and clicked the link to this blog. Within 5 minutes of reading some of the blog posts, my heart grew heavy and my eyes filled with water, I have never cried like this, ever.

    You will never know me, I am just a reader of this blog, but I need to let you know how deeply this has touched me, and I feel, even if its a fraction of it, I feel the pain in your words.

    I honestly don’t know what to say, I feel such a mix of emotions. All I can say is remember that he will always be with you, at your darkest times, he will be there, and as painful as it has and still will be to keep this blog running and share with us.. I thank you for doing so.

    We may be total strangers, miles, and countries apart, but your little boy has connected every single person who reads this blog.

    Take care.

    Mike

    Reply
  210. Kristin

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya – You are without a doubt the bravest individual on this planet. Ronan has touched my heart and I will never forget.

    Reply
  211. Mike Hurliman

     /  May 10, 2011

    My life is forever changed because of Ronan and your willingness to share your family’s story. Somehow, I fell in love with a little boy I had never met in person. I promise you that I will never forget him. I wish I could say somehting to comfort you but there are no words, there is only love, and love endures forever! I think it may be safe to say that Ronan has been loved more than anybody else on this earth! Thank you Ronan, I love you, see you when I get there!

    Mike
    BG, WA

    Reply
  212. Amy J

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am changed as a mother by you, Maya. By Ronan, too. But, mostly by you. Thank you.

    Reply
  213. Rebecca

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank you for sharing your soul and Ronan’s story with the world. We all take so much for granted, and your angel has shown us all how unbeliebably precious, yet short, life can be. No parent should outlive their child, so as a parent of a 4 year old, my heart is utterly broken for you. God bless you. I love you and I’ve never met you. May your son’s soul shine through you in all that you do as you fight to find a cure.

    Reply
  214. Theresa Dietel

     /  May 10, 2011

    I could not stop thinking about Ronan and your family on Sunday and spent most of the praying for all of you. My heart feels crumpled so I can’t even begin to imagine the way your beautiful family must feel. You really are the strongest, bravest momma ever. I have no words. You will all continue to be on my mind and in my heart.

    Reply
  215. Kimberly Anderson

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have sat here for twenty minutes trying to type something. There are no words.

    Reply
  216. Rachel McClellan

     /  May 10, 2011

    Woody, Maya, and Thompson family,

    Dustin and I very very sorry to hear of your loss of little Ronan. We both cried and almost could not continue to read the rest of your post. We are deeply touched about what has happended to your family. We have no words, but just thoughts and hope that you hold on tight to each other now and forever.

    Live strong and happy for Ronan.

    With love,
    Rachel and Dustin McClellan

    Reply
  217. Hope & Collin Yu

     /  May 10, 2011

    Sweet Dreams Ronan, Our hearts go out to you Maya, Woody and your twins.

    Reply
  218. MrsMommyRozema

     /  May 10, 2011

    You and your family will ALWAYS be in my thoughts! <3

    Reply
  219. Maya,
    Ronan’s beautiful eyes caught me at the first time I read your blog. Your family has been so inspirational throughout this horrible journey of yours. You have taught and reminded us each and every posting how special each day is with our kids. You have reminded me that being tired is not an excuse not to pay full attention to your kids. Never know when that can be taken away. I cry each and every time I read your blog as I have a son close in age to Ronan and could never imagine being as strong, brave, encouraging, determined as you if I ever were in your situation.
    Continued prayers to you and your family!! I thought you handled everything with such class and dignity especially with your twins.

    Reply
  220. Christina

     /  May 10, 2011

    There are no words to express how sorry I am. No family, no mother, no child should ever have to endure this. I am so sorry.

    Reply
  221. Thinking of you today and hoping for some sort of peace

    Reply
  222. Kim

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,

    My heart aches for you as a mother of 4 kids, one of which is a 3 year old child of neuroblastoma. As I read your blogs, I wish I could be as strong as you!!! I’m thankful to you for wanting to create awareness and a hope to find a Cure this horrifying cancer!!! No child should have to suffer the way they do with neuroblastoma. It’s so unfair and unbelievable that doctors can’t find a way to help our children.

    Reply
  223. came across a quote today..
    “mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.”

    we love you all and are here for you ALWAYS!
    Heidi, Mark, Luke and Lily

    Reply
  224. Karin

     /  May 10, 2011

    My deepest sympathy to you and your family. I can promise you that your love story will live on forever in my heart and soul…

    Reply
  225. Christina Austin

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I have been reading your past posts about your journey with your beloved, beautiful boy. I am a complete stranger to you and your family but I have been crying so hard that I can hardly see right now. I am deeply moved by Ronan’s story. I hope that knowing the image and story of your son is forever with me gives you some small comfort.
    My deepest condolences to all those who knew and love that precious child.

    Reply
  226. Stacey

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,

    I have read this post more than once now, and shed many tears each time. I can’t imagine the courage and strength it took just to write it. You are a spectacular force that will carry on your son’s legacy in a way that few women ever could. There’s a future with the group you’ve assembled that can and will do great things moving forward in your son’s honor. Raising awareness. Raising money. Helping other families. The momentum you have created with your generousity, honesty and ability to communicate will result in many things spectacular.

    Wouldn’t be surprised if someone offered to pen a screenplay out of what you have journaled. Like everyone, I am shattered at the loss of your son and cried as if he were my own. Am curious to know what the universe has in store for how Ronan will continue to impact the world in profound way. This isn’t the end… in many ways, perhaps only a beginning.

    Thinking of you daily…

    Stacey

    Reply
  227. Cindy Miller (Windmiller)

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya and Woody…my heart breaks for you all. I lost my son Cody 14 years ago. and I know the loss of a child is unimaginable… and there are no words that can take the pain away…Please know we are praying for you all and I pray you will find peace in the days that come. May you feel the Lord and Ronan wrap their arms around you and hear his whispers… This poem has helped me over the years and I wanted to share it with in hopes it will bring you some peace….
    Just For Today
    Just for today, I will try to live through the next 24 hours…not expecting to get over my child’s death, but learning to live with it…one day at a time
    Just for today, I’ll remember my child’s life, not his death, and bask in the comfort of the treasured days and moments we shared.

    Just for today, I will forgive all the family and friends who didn’t help or comfort me the way I needed them to. They truly did not know how.

    Just for today, I will reach out to comfort a relative or friend of my child. For they are hurting too and perhaps we can help each other.

    Just for today, I will free myself from my self-inflicted burden of guilt. For deep in my heart, I know if there was anything in this world I could have done to save my child from death, I would have done it.

    Just for today, I will honor my child’s memory by doing something with another child, be it my own, or someone else’s, because I know that would make my child proud.

    Just for today, I will offer my hand in friendship to other bereaved parents, for I DO know how they feel.

    Just for today, I will smile…no matter how much I hurt on the inside…for maybe if I smile a little, my heart will soften and I will begin to heal.

    Just for today, I will allow myself to be happy and enjoy myself, for I know I am not deserting my child by moving on.

    Just for today, I will accept that I did NOT die when my child did. My life did go on and I am the ONLY one who can make that life worthwhile again.

    Reply
  228. Candy B.

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear Maya,
    I’m sure you don’t remember me, I’m Matt Browne’s mom, and I have been following your posts. I have searched and searched for something to say to comfort you, please know that you are in my every thought, and when I see you again I’m going to run up to you and give you the biggest hug. I did call Matt last night, and his heart is breaking for you and your family.
    I hope you will continue your posts, and I will continue to read.
    Love, Candy

    Reply
  229. Erin Crista

     /  May 10, 2011

    I’m so very, very sorry. Your sweet Ronan will never be forgotten. Truly heartbreaking.

    Reply
  230. Jennifer mechlem

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear Maya,

    My heart aches for you and your family. Ronan has touched my soul. You are such a strong mother and I wish you peace. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

    Reply
  231. Ellie Culver

     /  May 10, 2011

    Hi Maya,
    You are such a courageous and amazing mom and women I am praying for you and your family for peace :) below is prayer that I say quite often in times of grief…love to you!!

    God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
    Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain, 
    Shining and lovely again.
    God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
    As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
    From sorrow with quiet eyes, 
    Knowing Thy way is wise.
    God, make me brave, life brings
    Such blinding things.
    Help me to keep my sight;
    Help me to see the right
    That out of dark comes light.

    Reply
  232. I am so sorry for your loss, but please know that Heaven gained a beautiful Angel.
    I myself am fighting 3 different cancers and I WILL NOT give up!
    My prayers are with you all!
    God bless you all!

    Reply
  233. Vanessa

     /  May 10, 2011

    God has a shitload of explaining to do. And despite being God, I don’t see how he can make this up to you. At least that’s how I see it today. I believe in God and I’m just a bystander to what you’ve been through but today my mind just won’t bend in a way where I can find reason for this.

    All that said, may God bless and keep you all. And if he fails, then love and keep each other.

    xo

    Reply
  234. andy lemiere

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, i’ve followed your blog for a bit now and it destroys me every post. my son is the same age and I cant imagine… i can’t.
    the only silver lining i could come up with (that was worth a crap) was that i doubt if there was ever a child who felt more love or appreciation than your son. I’m sure the feelings you shared were beyond expression and for him, that had to have given him much strength and comfort. He knew exactly what his mommy and daddy thought of him. You didn’t take advantage of his life – you squeezed all you could out of it. And for that, Ronan will make me a better dad.
    With love,
    Andy

    Reply
  235. Sheri

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thompson family,
    We are sending all our love. We never met your rockstar, but grew to love him through his mama’s words. We have learned about this killer, and will follow you wherever you go in the continued fight against it
    We are not through. Ronan will forever be in our hearts.
    All our love…

    Reply
  236. George

     /  May 10, 2011

    Words cannot express how sorry I am. I know we have never met. We may never. But know your story touched me very deeply. I wish I was wise enough to offer you the perfect words to ease your pain. But having endured lose my self. I know there are no words. I would happily give my own life to save a child from something so cruel. All I can do is offer my help. If you ever need any help bringing aware or help with fund raising I would love to help. My deepest sympathy.

    Reply
  237. Heather Fowler

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so sorry. so sorry. so sorry. Our blue eyed boys share a birthday, and May 12 will never pass without me thinking of precious Ronan, and feeling deep sadness for you, Woody, and your boys. Praying the peace of feeling his presence with you never fades, and carries you through.
    Heather, mom to NB warrior Elijah

    Reply
  238. Michelle Bunger

     /  May 10, 2011

    Warm thoughts of you and your beautiful family who have forever touched my life in so many positive ways….My heart aches for you…absolutely shattered but yet I feel happiness knowing all of lives that Ronan has impacted and the endless love that you will always share. You are in my heart and prayers everyday!!

    Reply
  239. Wendy Ledford

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear Maya and family,
    I am so deeply saddened to hear of your tragic loss. I have no words….only prayers, asking God to comfort you and give you peace that only He can give. Ronan’s precious spirit will forever touch this world and he will never be forgotten. Thank you for sharing him, your family and your story, with all of us.
    Much Love, Big Hugs and unending prayers for your family and loved ones,
    Wendy and family (from Atlanta)

    Reply
  240. Trine Kate

     /  May 10, 2011

    I’ve noticed the rockstarronan-twitter profile before, but I didn’t think much about it then. But I just saw it again through someone else’s profile, and I’ve been reading some of the posts on this blog. I simply don’t have words to say how sorry I am for your loss, I’m just sitting here crying. I have never experienced something like this myself, but I’ve been struggling with some things myself lately as well, and somehow I just feel wide open to other people’s feelings right now, and I’m actually grateful for that. I now know that you can’t tell someone that “time will heal” or “there’s a reason for everything”, because you’re right, it is bullshit. Words don’t matter at this time. You can only feel, that’s all you can do. Be in your feelings and cry as much as you need, there are no rules.

    I don’t know you, but I want to share you pain. I’m sending
    you all of my love and thoughts, and remember, Ronan is everywhere and forever.

    Reply
  241. Tricia

     /  May 10, 2011

    I’m blinded with tears and have read and re-read this post so many times today because it’s so beautifully written and so beautifully raw and yet everything about it is so very very wrong. This is not the outcome that I prayed for.
    I offer my deepest sympathy to you and Woody, Liam and Quinn. I also offer my condolences to all of your family, Ronan’s grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins. My sympathies to your dear dear friends, the ones that walked with you every step of the way and my sympathy to your friends that cared and cried and were paralyzed in not knowing how to help you but were so so deeply affected.
    You’ve made me be a more present mother. I’ve learned to not sweat the small stuff nearly as much as I used to. I love my children deeper and I know I’ll forever be changed because of this love between mother and son that you so eloquently put to words in your darkest hours.

    Thank you for sharing a bit of your Ronan with me.

    Reply
  242. amy

     /  May 10, 2011

    My life is changed forever by your kindness in allowing us into this horrific tragedy. I promise to honor Ronan’s life by doing as much as I can to find a cure for this unfair disease. Lots of love, hugs, and strength sent your way…xoxoxo

    Reply
  243. kelli

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya-your strength and determination is amazing. Praying for your entire family.

    Reply
  244. Suba Dhinakar

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dearest Maya,
    I feel so sad for you. Like you i also feel that we/medicine failed Ro baby. The cure must be found. SOON! This is why i run with Team In Training. Every ache and pain is worth it. No other mom should ever feel this heart-wrenching pain. All i can give you is big hug to you and your family. Please keep updating your blog like you wanted. It inspires and gives a reason to go on with this battle against cancer. Please take care of yourself. One day, may be our paths will cross. Ro has not gone anywhere. He changed me forever and will live forever in our hearts.
    with heart-felt sadness and love,
    Suba Dhinakar
    Team In Training
    East Valley – Arizona

    Reply
  245. Kim Saks

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Liam, and Quinn,
    I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart is breaking for your family. There are no words to describe this. I wish there were. All I can tell you after having lost my husband 9 weeks ago to a sudden heart attack is that god has a plan for everyone. Ronan has touched everyone’s lives and made such a huge and wonderful impact on this world. Every person who has met him is a better person for it. Please know that I am thinking of your family every day. My deepest sympathies during this terrible tragedy.
    Sincerely,
    Kim Saks (Liam’s SLP at Hopi)

    Reply
  246. Stephanie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I hope that you are able to gain strength in the knowledge that your family, especially Ronan, has touched so many lives and changed them for the better, forever.
    I did not have the priviledge of knowing Ronan or your family personally, but I can promise you that your touch on our lives has changed us in such important and inspiring ways.
    Everyday we will have Ronan and your family in our thoughts. We will love more, dance more and hug tighter everyday.
    I would be honored to read your blog today and any day in the future as you continue your journey.
    Rockstar Ronan, you will forever be loved and admired by us all!

    Reply
  247. Karen

     /  May 10, 2011

    Sad beyond belief. May you continue to find some sense of peace. I am a Ronan fan for life. Goodbye sweet boy. :(

    Reply
  248. Katharine

     /  May 10, 2011

    We just found out last Tuesday that our 2 year old Brady-Boy has stage 4 Neroblastoma. I found your blog and decided to read on even though the reality was unbearable. Your jorney has prepared me for the hell I’m about to face and has helped me find bravery and strengh. Your fight for your boy was inspiring in so many ways. I want to have your strengh, love and determination through this and let it make us a stronger family.. no matter what happens. My hope for you is you continue changing the world with Ronan as your inspiration. Ronan’s face will stop a crowd and I want you to use that and his story to create awareness. He was given sparkely eyes for a reason and he needs to be the face of Neroblastoma. Your fight is not over, you have to help the rest of us. Please stay strong!

    Reply
  249. Ellen

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,

    We’ve never met but I feel like I know you from all your incredible posts and your very special way with words. I have been following Ronan’s journey from almost the beginning. My heart is breaking for you and your very special family. I don’t have any words to say that will make it easier but I just wanted to tell you that there are so many people thinking about you, praying for you and loving you all right now and hopefully that will offer a little bit of peace during this time. Please know that you and Ronan have touched more lives than you can ever imagine.

    Much love,
    Ellen Buffaloe

    Reply
  250. Amy

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya- You are the most amazing women I have come to know through your blogs. I know Woody from highschool and he was always a great guy and had pleanty of admireres. It is no suprise that you two found eachother. People like you deserve the best and you both found that the day you met. I am so sorry for your loss, but know that your loss is going to be a gain for millions of kids out there. I can tell by your blogs that you will not stop until there is a cure. I don’t believe in all the crap everything happens for a reason, blah, blah, blah…ect. I lost my father to cancer. Someone dying does not make you stronger, its fighting for the ones you love that make you a fighter. Your last blog was so touching and all I could think is how is she able to write this???? And the answer is beacuse….thst is who you are and that is why you have touched and inspired so many people all over the world. You have taught people to love better, appreciate what they have, and to never lose hope or give up. If they handed out purple hearts to people like you, you would deserve a million. I wish the best to your family and will send good thoughts your way!!!!

    Reply
  251. Micha

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so heartbroken for you and your family. No one should go through this. Ronan is a beautiful boy who has inspired many. I hope you can find some peace somewhere along this path. So terribly sad…..

    Reply
  252. Rebecca Bradley

     /  May 10, 2011

    With love and sympathy to you all. Xx

    Reply
  253. Katie

     /  May 10, 2011

    The tears and sobs won’t stop coming. My heart is just broken for you….from one mom to another. I am so so utterly sorry that you (Ronan and your family) had to endure so much pain and loss.

    Reply
  254. Amy

     /  May 10, 2011

    Our deepest sympathy to you, Maya, and all of sweet Ronan’s family and friends. He will remain an inspiration and his spirit – his life – will continue.

    If it means anything, please know that Ronan has changed my life, and the lives of many others with whom I have shared your honest and heartfelt blog. We are still here, and we will continue to help you raise awareness and fight your fight.

    What an incredible little boy – with the most stunning blue eyes I’ve ever seen.

    I wanted to share one of my favorite poems, which has been a comfort to me during times of loss:

    HOPI PRAYER of The Soul’s Graduation

    Do not stand at my grave and weep
    I am not there,
    I do not sleep.
    I am a thousand winds that blow.
    I am the diamond glints on snow.
    I am the sunlight
    On the ripened grain.
    I am the gentle Autumn’s rain.
    When you awaken in the morning hush,
    I am the swift uplifting rush
    Of quiet birds in circled flight.
    I am the soft stars that shine at night.
    Do not stand at my grave and cry.
    I am not there.
    I did not die.

    ~Anonmyous

    With prayers, sympathy and love always,

    Amy, J.W.’s friend in Indianapolis

    Reply
  255. Mary Beam

     /  May 10, 2011

    Prayers for peace, serenity and LOVE. I am so sorry…

    Reply
  256. Lisa

     /  May 10, 2011

    As tears run down my face and with an aching heart, I try to find words to express how sorry and devastated I am for your family. I have never met you and you have never met me, but your family has captured my heart. Please know, Maya, how much of an impact you have had on my life and how I live it, by telling your story. You are raw, honest, and tell it how it is. How fortunate Ronan was to have such a strong, dedicated, and loving mommy; you are amazing in so many ways. Bless you and your family. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs,

    Lisa

    Reply
  257. Michelle

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, you are an inspiration to parents everywhere. Your strength and love are amazing. I am so sorry for all that you and your family have gone through. You are right, no mother should have to do what you have done. Thank you for sharing with me and the world your story.

    Reply
  258. Brenda

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have only had time to read one of your blogs. I can feel your power through your words. As I type, as I am sure you did, I am typing through a torrent of tears and physical pain. I am so sorry for your loss. But even that can’t come close to being the right words. It is so unfair. Please continue on with your fight. Hopefully little Ronan’s journey will lead to bigger and better……….

    Reply
  259. Denise McClain

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    What tremendous courage you have shown through these last 8 months. I have no doubt that you will continue to keep Ronan’s beautiful spirit alive and that you both will continue to have an impact on others. You are an amazing mother!!! Thank you for sharing with all of us your journey (including this post which must have been so difficult for you)….and please don’t stop! I hope that you will continue to post your feelings and share more Ronan stories and memories with the rest of us. Your Ronan was a beautiful little soul and so are your precious twins. Know that your family will continue to be in my family’s thoughts and prayers.

    -Denise McClain (I knew Woody in college and am a friend of Kay & Charlie)

    Reply
  260. chris

     /  May 10, 2011

    I’ve followed this since day one. My heart and my prayers go out to you and your family. I love u guys and God bless you and Ronan. Chris

    Reply
  261. jj

     /  May 10, 2011

    I’m very sorry for you and your family. But you said you “prayed to the heavens” and that your lil boy he made it through that….but when u say u pray to the heavens that God. Aka Jesus Christ so how can u be so harsh towards God?

    Reply
  262. McLaughlin Familiy

     /  May 10, 2011

    Thank You for having ther courage to bring Ronan’s story to so many. Our hearts simply hurt for your loss. We love you Rockstar…

    Reply
  263. Marcy

     /  May 10, 2011

    I’m about to get on a plane and head to San Diego. I’ll make sure to wave and blow kisses and Rockstar I’ve found myself tearing up and various points throughout the day today. I just can’t imagine the heartbreak you are experiencing right now. I vow that I will cont. On this journey with you for as long as you’ll let us. I know that you are a woman that when you put your mind to something you make it happen!! I vow to fight for a cure as hard as you are!!! Anything we can do from afar beyond just making contributions to the cause, please post! I want to support your cause in everywau possible. No family should EVER have to endure what you just went through and are continuing to go through. My thoughts and prayers continue to go out to you.

    Reply
  264. Blaire

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Liam and Quinn –

    I have been following your blog incessantly since I found out about Ronan. Like many others that have posted throughout this tragedy, Ronan has left an imprint on all of our hearts. He will never be gone and we will never forget him. We have all been inspired by him to be the best humans we can be every day. He will live on.

    Maya, you’re so strong and eloquent about sharing your experience with so many people. No parent should ever have to endure this. There is no fairness in any of it. Have no doubts that everyone will support you as you grieve and we will continue to follow you on your blog. Your family has touched so many people so profoundly, and taught all of us that we owe Ronan no less than to appreciate every single day.

    On Mother’s Day, I woke up to see if you had posted anything because I was so concerned for you family. I spent part of that day crying, as I have for many days throughout your ordeal, for your family. That night I was reading to my boys the story of Wynken, Blynken and Nod. There is a portion of that story that stuck with me, as I pictured you with Ronan that night. I think it remains appropriate and I hope that you find some solace in it.

    “So shut your eyes while mother sings
    Of wonderful sights that be,
    And you shall see the beautiful things
    As you rock in the misty sea.”

    He is still with you. And he will always be.

    With my deepest sorrow,
    Blaire

    Reply
  265. Andrea

     /  May 10, 2011

    Words cannot express how deeply sorry I am for your families’ loss. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling at this moment and will continue to feel in the future. You are an amazing mom and I know you did everything you could to save your baby boy. I continue to think of and pray for your family day and night. Please keep fighting for our kids! Please do not stop spreading the story of your beautiful boy. Hopefully, more people will become aware of childhood cancer and join you in the fight to find a cure!

    Reply
  266. Julie Kroot

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have been so overwhelmed and touched by your story! I don’t know you, but you sound like the most amazing person, mom, wife and friend!! Ronan was the luckiest little boy to have you love him to the moon and stars and back and back and back! Please keep us posted on how you all are doing. I will be thinking of you all and sending love and positive energy your way!

    Reply
  267. Kindra

     /  May 10, 2011

    What a brave and courages women you are for sharing this journey and what a brave and courages boy Ronan is. I hope you continue writing and keeping so many of us going. You have inspired me on so many different levels but you have made me a better mother 100%.

    Thank you Maya and Ronan-THE bravest little boy I will ever know,
    Kindra

    Reply
  268. Dear Thompson Family,

    I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Ronan was a beautiful soul. I truly hope that you can each find peace and solace in each other’s arms and in the arms of those that have carried you along this journey.

    Here’s what I hope for Ronan…I hope he is resting in peace and that where ever he is, he is healthy and happy. But, in a way, I also hope that he is not at peace. I hope he is very, very busy occupying the thoughts and hearts of doctors, nurses, researchers, scientists, fundraisers and anyone else on this planet who is able to contribute to a cure for this awful disease. I want his beautiful face and spirit to be what they think about all day until no other family has to go through this hell on earth. I hope his stubborn personality helps him to raise heck among the readers of this blog so we can all join Maya on her quest to help find a cure. That’s what I hope for Ronan.

    With love and respect,
    Stacy

    Reply
  269. Alana Odem

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya,
    I am so sorry to hear the news about Ronan. I have been following you blogs for quite some time and I feel like a part of my own heart is gone and yet I have never met any of you. Your Ronan touched so many of us and I hope you can find some kind of comfort in knowing that so many are grieving with you. Thank you for your real and honest writings, for telling it like it is without holding back. Your words have touched me in a way no others have. I have felt your pain, your love, your anger and now your grief. I don’t think I will ever forget the face of your beautiful boy. My thoughts and prayers are with you….Alana

    Reply
  270. Hi,
    I’m a friend of Amanda’s. I HAVE walked in your shoes. I DID hold My little 3 year old boy as he took his last breaths just as you held yours. It is not right. Mother’s should NOT have to go through this. And yet here we are on this road we dont want to be on. I am here for you. Call me day or night. I know what you are going through. I would have given anything to have someone who “gets it”. It sounds like you have amazing friends and family. You are lucky in that small way. But seriously, please call. I am up all nights anyway as I am sure you are. Your story has touched me and Amanda mentioned you a week or so ago to me. I am not going to tell you I am praying for you cause God knows that doesnt work . But you are on my heart in my mind. I will do whatever I can for you. Meanwhile, check out the MISS Foundation. Its not just for infants or prenatal death. There foundation has been a blessing to me and many other families just like ours that have been destroyed way too soon. I wish the best for you in these dark days. Take Care of yourself. Call if you need AYTHING or someone just to listen. Someone who knows the pain of kissing your little boy goodbye. I know, God do I know how horrible it is.
    Take Care,
    Billie Freiwald
    480-239-4804

    Reply
  271. Susan T

     /  May 10, 2011

    I feel like I know Ronan because of YOU. You as a mother have shared your love and joy for your family along with the hurt anger and pain. You have said things some people would not. Thank you for inviting me into you family and sharing your moments with me!!! The way you portrayed Ronan makes it impossible not to love him and continue to follow. You are a true matriach of your family and I have no doubt you will find the strength to put one foot in front of the other and continue to be an outstanding mom which you have already proven. I am so sorry that this is the outcome. Every bit if this has been relayed with such class and you are so incredibly strong!! Thoughts and prayers are being sent from my family to yours. I really hope you don’t have to throw any punches!!!!

    Reply
  272. Maya,

    I’ve no words that others haven’t already said, but I just wanted you to know that I have shed tears freely and my heart has broken for you and your wonderful little partner in crime.

    You, your family & friends and your special little man have my best wishes.

    If ever there is anything I can do to help raise awareness and spread word about your work across this side of the world (Australia), let me know.

    Hold your chin high, smile for the fact that Ronan will walk forever beside you and know you are loved.

    Laneth Sffarlenn.

    Reply
  273. Brandee

     /  May 10, 2011

    I have fallen in love with your family and my heart is in pieces imagining the pain you are in. Words can’t explain how deeply sad and sorry I am. I want to thank you as you have been an inspiration…you have made me a better person. You have reminded me what is important in life…I will never take things for granted, I will never complain, I will be thankful everyday. I will find a way to help fight NB and find a cure- I will do this for Ronan, for you and your beautiful family as you have done so much for me. Thanks you for sharing Ronan…please continue to share your journey as you conquer this ugly disease.

    Reply
  274. Matt

     /  May 10, 2011

    I do not know you but have heard your story through different avenues. As a father of a 5 year, 3 year and 7 month old, I can’t imagine the hurt you feel. I am so very sorry for your loss, and pray that you and your entire family will find strength. Ronan sounds like a wonderful little guy. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all of the truly important things.

    Reply
  275. Heather Spivey

     /  May 10, 2011

    1st and most important I am so very sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin to imagine what a parent goes through and what you and your family are going through. You sound like a strong woman and you have a strong support system.

    But 2nd, I am pissed! I am so pissed off for you right now. I just found out about this amazing little boy this past weekend and fell in love immediately. Life is so fucking unfair.

    You have also inspired me. I have a 4 year old boy and I swear from this day forward to never take life with him for granted.

    Again you have my deepest condolences.

    Heather

    Reply
  276. Amanda

     /  May 10, 2011

    My sister told me about your story a few weeks ago. I have no idea the pain you are going through, yet my heart aches so much for you and your family. I have 2 children of my own and I work at a daycare…I’m planning to get purple star tattoos for everyone and share the story of your brave little boy. My thoughts are with you. Take care.

    Reply
  277. Jaime Harris

     /  May 10, 2011

    I can’t read this without crying. I am so sorry for the loss you’ve suffered. I am praying for you and Woody and the boys every day. I know you will always have Ronan with you. He touched so many lives it’s incredible! I hope what happened will make us all more thankful and take nothing for granted. Best wishes to you and your family. I think it’s great you want to keep up the blog! I would love to continue to follow it and see how you all are doing. I hope you all feel all the prayers being offered up for you. Always in my thoughts and prayers forever, Jaime

    Reply
  278. Sue

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heartfelt condolences to you, your husband, Ronan, and your lovely twins. Thank you so very much for sharing your family with us. I have nearly finished nursing school and Ronan, the little rockstar, has inspired me to be the very best nurse that I can be. I will remember your requests to ban certain phrases from our language. I hated them already anyway, but I will be so much more conscious of diplomacy and appropriate, compassionate words. Maya, I share your mother’s love. You are the best of the best. Again, thank you.

    Reply
  279. I am sitting here crying and my heart feels broken. I am so, so sorry Ronan is gone. He fought so hard, and you loved him well. So very well.

    I am praying for comfort for you, your husband and your precious twins as you navigate the days, months and years ahead.

    I wish I had some words of comfort for you, but I have not walked in your shoes. But as a mother, my heart is shattered.

    I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss.

    Reply
  280. Kristina

     /  May 10, 2011

    There simply are no words…

    Reply
  281. Kristie Stevenson

     /  May 10, 2011

    I began following your blog a few months ago after seeing it on a friend’s facebook. My heart is breaking for you. I can feel your pain through your words. Nobody should ever have to go through what you and your family have been through. I am a mother of 3 and you are so much stronger than I am. You are the epitome of a perfect mother. I wish I could take some of your pain, for I can’t even imagine the depth of sorrow you’re enduring. Please know that I think of you and your family often times throughout the day and I say a prayer for you to gain strength. From a mother to a mother with all my love~Krisite

    Reply
  282. Erika

     /  May 10, 2011

    May you feel Ronan everywhere, all the time, and be assured of his love for you and the knowledge that he knows you gave your all for him. I don’t know why this happened nor can I imagine the pain you feel right now, but I do believe you’ll see him again. In the meantime, he’ll not be far from your side and will be your constant protector from the other side of the curtain. I believe that with all my heart. May peace and happy memories fill your soul.

    Reply
  283. kat

     /  May 10, 2011

    “Come with me, Ronan. Let’s get out of here.”

    What a perfect thing to say. We should all be so lucky to hear these words in our last moments. He heard you, and you brought him comfort. You are amazing.

    Much love and many prayers for your family.

    Reply
  284. Theresa

     /  May 10, 2011

    My heart breaks for you Maya, I have never even met you but the tears spill so easily. Ronan was the “most” beautiful child, those eyes just GORGEOUS. It makes me sick to think that this horrible disease can be detected with a simple urine test. It should be mandatory nationwide for all newborns.

    Reply
  285. Rachel

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya –

    I am just so sad for you and your family. My husband and I lost out son who was born prematurely, and it forever changed us – but now as a mother to two girls, I have often told my husband that I have no idea how parents go through losing a child that you have come to know and love. You have put to words everything that I think as parents we fear and hope doesn’t happen to our children. For that I thank you, because there isn’t a day that I come home that I don’t appreciate the joys of my children. And you have fundamentally impacted the work that I do in pediatric cancer. I am not one of the brilliant clinicians out there that is trying to find a cure, but instead I spend my days trying to get families the information and support they need to do what you have done for Ronan. I can tell you hands down that I am better at what I do because of what you have shared. I know that wasn’t your intent, but you and Ronan have impacted people all over the world and we all owe you our gratitude. I only wish in return I could offer you some relief from this pain.

    Please take care of yourself, and please don’t stop writing. I am looking forward to the impact you are about to make on this crazy world of pediatric cancer.

    Reply
  286. Chris Pace

     /  May 10, 2011

    Praying for God to hold each of your hearts. I am praying you will feel some kind of peace and comfort that is supernatural. I am praying that you will all be able to rest. I am praying for the grandparents, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins who all have a huge hole in their hearts. I am praying you will be able to breathe without crumbling to the floor. I pray for your strength. I pray that for Woody to be able to be able to concentrate and make decisions. I pray for Liam and Quinn as they try and live without their little brother. I pray they will have good listeners who they can talk to. I pray that you and Woody will cling to each other and talk things out. I pray you will climb a mountain together and scream together. I pray you will continue to write. You have a gift. I cannot imagine not continuing on with your family in this journey. I thank God that y’all have raised awareness for this ugly disease.

    Reply
  287. Maya,
    I don’t have any of those words for you. All I can do is Thank you. You and Ronan have touched my soul and will never be forgtten. You showed me what a true mother is and I am better for reading your blog. My family and I want to send our deapest condolances to you, Woody and the boys. We are so sorry for your loss. I obviously never met Ronan, but his eyes just drew me in and I waited every night to read your blog and prayed that it would be a good day for you and Ronan.
    You and your family crossed my mind many times on Mother’s Day and on Monday when I heard, my heart broke for you.
    Ronan and your boys are very lucky to have you and you them!! You have made me a better mom.. THANK YOU.

    Reply
  288. Patricia

     /  May 10, 2011

    oh golden boy…….how much you are loved today and always……
    you have shown us such great strength and courage and i thank you little one…..

    Reply
  289. Shirley

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet Ronan. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I will continue to wear my Tshirt and will never ever forget him. Fly high Ronan.

    Lots of hugs,
    Shirley

    Reply
  290. Deanna Killett

     /  May 10, 2011

    Like many, I haven’t had the pleasure of knowing your family, but have followed your blog through mutual friends. Your family has been amazingly courageous through this entire ordeal. I wish you all much peace knowing that Ronan will still be with you every day. He has definitely touched many hearts in many places. Thanks for sharing your story and giving us all a different aspect on life.
    Stay strong!

    Reply
  291. Brooke

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, Woody, Quinn, and Liam,
    I am beyond heartbroken for you. I know there is really nothing that can be said. Please know that your little boy has touched so many lives and I hope that you find some peace in that.
    Many prayers to you and your family,
    Brooke

    Reply
  292. J

     /  May 10, 2011

    As tears run down my face and with an aching heart, I try to find words to express how sorry and devastated I am for your family. Your family has captured my heart. Please know, Maya, how much of an impact you have had on my life and how I live it, by telling your story. You are raw, honest, and tell it how it is. How fortunate Ronan was to have such a strong, dedicated, and loving mommy; you are amazing in so many ways. Bless you and your family. I have not missed a day of your writings, it has been the first thing I check in the morning and the first thing I check when I get home from work. I will follow your daily blogs for as long as you write.
    Your family has blessed me forever. When I look into the moon lit sky with all the stars I will think of him sending kisses to a hero

    Hugs,

    Reply
  293. Yvonne Herrera

     /  May 10, 2011

    I don’t know you personally, nor did I have the honor of meeting your son. I came across your son’s story on Layla Grace’s website.

    Children battling cancer has touched my heart deeply, so deeply, that I can’t even explain it.

    Reading your blog brings tears to my ears…the intimate details you described of Ronan’s last moments are truly heart-wrenching…for a mother, for a human being…just truly heart-wrenching. I can’t even begin to understand the pain a parent goes through, watching your child suffer as Ronan, and countless other children have. My heart breaks for your family. May God grant you and your family, especially Ronan’s siblings, the peace and comfort you so desperately seek. I pray he will wrap his arms around your family and give you strength with each and every day.

    RIP brave young man.

    Reply
  294. Amy Sue Ross (Jevaltas)

     /  May 10, 2011

    Woody & Maya –
    As said so many times before by so many people that your story has touched, my heart is aching for you and your family. It is amazing to see how many thousands of lives that your little Ronan touched. That is truly a testimony to how truly awesome you are as parents and how much love your family has. I will continue to pray for you during this time of sadness and loss. I hope that you do continue to fight for others with this awful disease and that you can somehow in the future take this experience and comfort other parents who are going through what you have been through. Keep fighting!

    Reply
  295. Eva

     /  May 10, 2011

    May God grant you strength and courage as you walk this long road; Rockstar Ronan will not be forgotten.

    Reply
  296. Samantha Torres

     /  May 10, 2011

    You do not know me, but I love you!!! Maya, you are amazing, your story has definetly changed my life as a mommy. I will continue to follow you and I really hope you continue to write, your words make me feel like I am walking with you. Thank you for sharing your journey, even though it is NOT over. Please know your family is in my Prayers. I pray that the Lord carries you, Woody, Liam and Quinn.

    Love From TN

    Reply
  297. Kim

     /  May 10, 2011

    Let me know when you organize your first neuroblastoma run!!! I am there….

    Reply
  298. Magda

     /  May 10, 2011

    My prayers are with your family although I can imagine that no words can soothe the pain of the loss your family experienced. I came across your blog just now and I can’t stop crying reading your account of Ronan’s last moments and the love and strength of your family. He was truly lucky in his short life to be surrounded by so much love and give it in return.

    Reply
  299. Jen Wheeler

     /  May 10, 2011

    May and Woody – I am SO saddened to read your latest post. I can’t even imagine the grief you are going through right now. Maya you are so brave to have kept all this up through everything you’ve gone through and I am so glad to have shared this small part of your little Ro. You can still make a difference with Neuroblastoma and I will help to spread the word and Ronan’s story. No one should have to lose a child to this horrible disease! Sending my love to you and yours…

    XOXO Jen Wheeler

    Reply
  300. Ashley

     /  May 10, 2011

    I just discovered this site and Ronan’s story today. I’m so so so sorry for your loss. To say that it sucks would be a gross understatement. Ronan was breathtakingly beautiful and it’s clear how much you love him. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply
  301. Heather

     /  May 10, 2011

    My thoughts and prayers are with your entire family at this time. I have never met you, Ronan, or your family but you have touched my life and I will never forget your sweet little blue eyed boy!

    Thank you for putting your emotions and experience out there for us to read.

    Heather

    Reply
    • Jennifer

       /  May 11, 2011

      You took the words right out of my mouth Heather. Maya you are amazing and so inspiring. THough I don’t know you, our common friends talk about you such respect and admiration. I heard Monday morning about Ronan and have been sad for you all ever since. And as I read your last entry I was literally weeping for hours for you. keep up your strength. And hopefully the gifts we all sent to your other 2 kids hlep as a distraction, though they certainly will not make things better.

      Reply
  302. Tiffani

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, I have followed Ronan’s story from day one. It’s amazing that at such a young age he has inspired so many people. He really touched my heart and has made me a better mom…I will never ever ever take my kids health for granted or anything for that matter! He was blessed with a wonderful mother, who is so raw and so real! I loved how I could read your posts and feel so many emotions. I would read something so upsetting and cry then the next paragraph literally LOL. I love you and I’m so sorry your family has to go through something as awful as losing your baby! He will live on through you, his dad and his two brothers! I will never forget Ronan and I hope to run into some day(im on the west side) and hug you! Praying for peace and strength!

    Reply
  303. Stephanie

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so very sorry for your incredibly painful loss. Thank you for sharing Ronan’s story with the world. He sounds like an amazing little boy. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, and your loved ones.

    Reply
  304. Alexandria Misthos

     /  May 10, 2011

    There are a million things I could say, but words cannot do any justice. Your entire family has changed me for the better. I’m so so sorry for you all and your sweet baby. I never realized how quickly my outlook on life could be altered especially by people whom I had never even met. I owe you a million thanks for making me a better person. Please don’t ever stop writing. I have no doubt in my mind that Ronan will continue to impact everyone who reads his story. Ronan has taught me more than any class at school could ever teach, the value of life.
    Rest in the sweetest peace lil Rockstar <3

    "When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart. For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost."

    Reply
    • Alexandria Misthos

       /  May 10, 2011

      “If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together.. there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think, but the most important thing is, even if we’re apart…I’ll always be with you.” Winnie the Pooh

      Reply
  305. Mira

     /  May 10, 2011

    Sweet Ro’s Mamma,
    Please know that if there is ever a moment that you cannot bear this pain, that I would gladly shoulder it, if just for a moment’s ease. And if the weight is so crushing you feel like you couldn’t possibly take another breath, I would take those next few breaths for you. And if you cannot feel the suns warmth on your skin, just think of your beautiful baby Ro’s sparkling, dazzling eyes and turn your face towards the light.

    All my love to you & your boys.
    Mira
    BC, Canada

    Reply
  306. Kerri

     /  May 10, 2011

    I first heard about Ronan through a post of Facebook by Johnjay Van Es. I have been praying for Ronan and your family every night. Thank you for sharing your story and letting all of us into your lives – I am so, so sorry for your loss and will continue to keep you all in my prayers.

    Reply
  307. amy311

     /  May 10, 2011

    Dear God,
    Please be with this family in their time of need.
    Amen

    Reply
  308. Shannon O'Keeffe

     /  May 10, 2011

    I am so, so, so sorry. You and I have never met (I went to school with Woody.), but I have fallen in love with your son, through your words, and my heart is shattered. My family and I have been praying for you, all these many months, and we will continue to do so. If all children were as loved and cared for as Ronan, the world would be a perfect place. Thank you for sharing your story and your son with us.

    I hope that you don’t mind, but I’ve arranged for a mass to be said with the Irish Loreto Sisters at Sts. Simon and Jude on May 20th, in honor of Ronan. They’ve had them on their prayer board for these months as well.

    If you ever need anything, please, just let us know.

    Shannon, Keegan, Jacques and Finnegan

    Reply
  309. Steve Linden

     /  May 10, 2011

    Ronan & your family have touched my soul. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. Please continue.

    Reply
  310. cynthia

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya
    I have do not have the words you do, my child just asked me why are you so upset, what is wrong, I said, I’m so glad you are asking me that ! I will tell her after I recover from this sad space. Love your family, I’ll watch for your writtings Maya. God bless.

    Reply
  311. Arayah

     /  May 10, 2011

    His beautiful blue eyes!
    I don’t think I will be ever able to forget them.
    I’m so sorry for your loss, I have been following your blog praying for a miracle and I’m crying so hard I can’t finish reading it. No mother should ever have to endure what you have. I’m heartbroken for you.

    Reply
  312. SUSAN

     /  May 10, 2011

    Oh my … I am sooo sorry. I can not even imagine what you are going through. Your posting is beautiful, thank you for sharing, when sharing must be so hard.

    Hoping for rest for you and yours …

    Susan

    Reply
  313. Jamie

     /  May 10, 2011

    Oh Maya…I’m so sorry. I’ve only been reading recently. But the tears are just flowing. I cannot even begin to fathom the ache in your heart. Your little boy is still touching hearts and always will. I promise you because of him I’ll hug my family just a little tighter, I’ll laugh more, get angry less, always.

    Our family will keep you all in our T&P’s.

    Reply
  314. Alana Odem

     /  May 10, 2011

    Maya, I am also someone you don’t know , but have followed your blogs and I am so sorry for your loss. I have been touched by your writings and my heart hurts for you. I wish there was something I could say or do to ease the pain but I know that there is nothing that can ever do that. I do hope it helps a little to know that Ronan will be remembered by many who never even got to meet him. He touched our hearts and he will not be forgotten.

    Reply
  315. Todd and Kara Schierscher

     /  May 10, 2011

    Rest In Peace sweet Ronan.

    Reply
  316. Leah

     /  May 10, 2011

    I sat on my couch this morning reading on a friends Facebook that Rockstar Ronan had passed away, out of curiosity I clicked the link. I will never forget your little Ronan. I’ve sat here on my couch as a new mom holding my one year old with tears flowing down my face. I can’t imagine what you are going through. I send you my deepest condolences and my prayers. I will never ever forget your Ronan, and I will continue to follow your blog.
    Xo

    Reply
  317. Asha

     /  May 10, 2011

    I will be forever changed for this and I’m a better person for knowing of Ronan’s story. God bless the child that suffers; he did nothing to deserve this but his fight will make others aware and hopefully we will be closer to a cure. I want to see this in my lifetime. There is no words and I just learned how unfair life is. You are an incredible mom, and you have a wonderful family. You handled this almost insurmountable struggle with the most grace I could ever imagine, and I would have crumbled under the stress, but you are still standing. You are my hero, and my smile is gone for now, my heart is so heavy, but I know you will be okay. Just please give us more updates, because we can’t not hear how your family is.

    Reply
  318. Crysty

     /  May 10, 2011

    Like so many others, I am so sorry. So heartbroken, so angry, so sad for you. You are forever in my prayers…forever in my heart. I hope you can feel the prayers so many people are praying for you. I pray you can feel the love pouring in to you from all directions, near and far. I wish with all my might hat I could take your pain for you, for an hour, for a day…..

    Reply
  319. I am so very sad to read that Ro could not win this battle :-(

    You are an amazing family, and you all tried soooooo hard!!

    I “ran” up that hill with you last week, swearing and crying the whole way.

    You tell it like it is :-)

    You are in my thoughts xxx

    Tash, Melbourne, Australia

    Reply
  320. Hisham

     /  May 11, 2011

    I am truly sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. As a father of 4, I can only begin to imagine what you are going through. As there is nothing I might write which could possibly assuage your grief, I will say only that your beautiful little boy will always be you.

    Reply
  321. I came here from a link on Twitter. My own daughter had Neuroblastoma back in 1992.

    Thinking of you and all of your family at this time and wishing you the strength to get through the future.

    Reply
  322. mary jo

     /  May 11, 2011

    So many hugs from Minnesota. You are a very strong woman even though at times I am sure you dont feel strong. GOD bless u and your family.

    Reply
  323. Amie

     /  May 11, 2011

    I am so sorry your precious little man is gone. Your words are so real and hard, and I cry for your son, and for you. We watched friends go through this with their son, and lose their battle recently and while sometimes I just want to stay oblivious to this, I can’t. Through your words, your son was very special little boy. I am so sorry he is gone and I agree. F*ck Mother F*cking Cancer!!

    Reply
  324. Carole

     /  May 11, 2011

    I watched my friend lose her son to another fucking cancer last May; I am so sorry for your loss. Like my friend, you have been an amazing mom, you cared for him so well. You care for the rest of your family[blood and otherwise] so well. You are doing more than most of us could ever imagine needing to do. I am one of your silent supporters, I hope you can feel the care that hordes of us feel for you and your family.

    Reply
  325. Alison

     /  May 11, 2011

    Maya,

    I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your amazing, beautiful Ronan. It is difficult to find the right words to say to provide comfort when something like this happens as this is something that should never happen. Just know that Ronan’s spirit will always be with you in everywhere you go and in everything you do, nothing can stop his spirit.

    Reply
  326. Suzy Q

     /  May 11, 2011

    It’s not fair, it’s not fair, it’s not fair. I’m so sorry for you and your family. We all need to grab our kids and hold them a little tighter today in remembrance of Ronan’s little spirit.

    Reply
  327. Kira Blakeley

     /  May 11, 2011

    I do not know you, only through my dear friend Noelle who told me about your brave little boys battle and your beautiful, inspiring blogs that I read often. I can not tell you I know how you feel or that everything will be ok, but I can tell you that after reading the story of the end of Ronan’s life, I felt compelled to hug my children a little tighter and to try and not take them for granted at ANY time! If there is any peace to be made from this terrible tragedy, it is that you, and Ronan, have touched so many people’s lives and opened many people’s eyes to how quickly things can change. Thank you for being so open with your journey and in your pain and teaching me to not take the silly things so seriously when it comes to my kids. To just love unconditionally and give extra hugs and kisses! You and your family are in so many peoples prayers and I pray that the you know that everytime you think of Ronan…
    Kira Ft Collins Colorado

    Reply
  328. Shlomit Robbins Gruber

     /  May 11, 2011

    Maya,
    Again, I want to say to you, what so many others are obviously feeling too, that you are an inspiration beyond words. Look at all of the people you and Ro, together, have made better. Because of sweet Ro, we all strive to rise above the usual, day-to-day, PETTY B.S. We have all been reminded to be grateful and appreciative for every moment we have. I think your continuation of this blog is the best thing you could ever do for Ro and for yourself. And for all of us! Because if it were to end now, we would too easily return to the everyday monotony of our busy lives and too easily not be reminded of the critical importance of this fight. Through you, this blog, and RONAN’s STORY, we can continue on his legacy and make something good happen going forward from this tragedy. I, like so many others, am ready to help. We can do fundraising efforts – races, tee shirts, jewelry in Ronan’s honor (purple stars) – I am ready to do all of this. In fact, I’ll email you separately about a race we are working to organize here in Phoenix/Scottsdale through Curesearch. I hope I can get a lot of volunteers from this group to help plan this!
    I also thought about that *something* that surrounded you in your session with Sarah at the Ryan House…it seems so clear that it is Ronan’s spirit that surrounded and began to embody you on that night, as he was passing on, his spirit was from that point forward meant to always live on through you. That is what surrounds you and is so special. You two are forever a team, together, and I know you’ll see him in everything you do.
    You are truly amazing, as has been said so many times before…but it’s the truth. Take extra great care of Quinn, Liam AND Woody, who need you now more than ever. Remember to take care of YOU, too…easy to forget but SOOOO important.
    Much love. Honored to continue to follow your journey.
    I see Ro in a lot of things now, too. My boys and I have added some things to our routine for Ronan – being rockstars, singing twinkle, twinkle…all to keep Ro’s spirit alive in our days.

    Shlomit (former classmate of Woody’s)

    Reply
  329. Victoria Leyba

     /  May 11, 2011

    Maya and Family,

    I am sorry for your loss I have been following your blogs I can’t imagine what you are going through or how you feel I have 5 children of my own and as I read your blogs I cried and prayed for help for Ronan to get better or some kind of miracle. You all are still in my prayers you are a very strong person I don’t think I could be that strong.

    Reply
  330. Corrinne (Selix) Henderson

     /  May 11, 2011

    Maya, thank you for reminding me to enjoy every second with my little guy. Motherhood is the best gift ever. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I’ve been crying right along with you. You’ve been so honest in your posts. It’s just not fair. I’m praying for you and your family.

    Reply
  331. Jody

     /  May 11, 2011

    You do not know me, but I am a friend of Hallie’s and learned about your son through her. I want to say that I am so sorry that your son, Ronan, has passed away. I am sitting at my keyboard crying for you and thinking of how broken your heart must be. I also have a young son, and I can only imagine the depth of your sadness right now. I also think that you are so lucky to have had this wonderful boy in your life for the short time he was here. I wish the best for you and your family during your healing process.

    Reply
  332. Ariana Renee

     /  May 11, 2011

    I am so sorry for your devastating loss. What an amazing little warrior you were blessed with. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I wish you and your family peace.

    Reply
  333. Michelle H.

     /  May 11, 2011

    Having followed your story from the beginning, and posting comments here and there, I find that I have been at a complete loss of words these last couple of days. You are all on my mind throughout each day as I continue to pray for you. Love, Michelle

    Reply
  334. We have your family in our thoughts. I can’t imagine our pain. The world weeps with you on this day and many to follow. All of us at Wellness Bodywork would like to donate some nurturing massage gift certificates to you and your family. I have studied massage, specifically oncology massage,as I have lost 3 young family members to cancer. We would like to embrace you. We have 4 hours of massage we would like to give you. Natural care for your soul. You won’t be asked about any of this, but we are here if you would like to talk about it. From our heart, to yours, Amanda Bisson and Wellness staff, Annie, Melodi, Tosha, and Audrey. Contact me any time at wellnessbodywork@yahoo.com and we will get this gift to you if you would accept it when you are ready.

    Reply
  335. Claire

     /  May 11, 2011

    I am so, so sorry. *big hug*

    Reply
  336. Hannah

     /  May 11, 2011

    My deepest condolences. My heart breaks reading your blogs. It is so unfair that you and your family and Ronan had to go through this.

    You are wonderful mother, wife, and great person in general. You have inspired me and many other to appreciate life every day. I pray for God to comfort and keep you and your family in this very difficult time.

    Reply
  337. Jennifer

     /  May 12, 2011

    I cant even begin to tell you very sorry that i am for your loss… my little man has been fighting since he was born in september… not with cancer but a rare brain birth defect… he deals with seizures, they had to place a feeding tube a few weeks ago because he was aspirating. everything you have written on how much Ronan meant to you hits so close to home for me its eerie… had me in tears reading this first thing this morning… i dont know where id be if little man didnt make it through his fight… I’ll be wearing purple today for Ronan and just know that your family is in my thoughts…

    Reply
  338. amy

     /  May 12, 2011

    I’m so incredibly saddened to hear about Ronan. I’m sitting in my car reading this sobbing because I can only imagine what you and your family are feeling. You are an amazing mom for sharing Ronan’s journey with all of us. Thank you for doing so.

    Sending you love & hoping for a cure.

    Love, Amy, Gary, Harrison & Holly Neiss

    Reply
  339. Colleen

     /  May 12, 2011

    I am SO sorry you had to live through the most horrific thing any parent should. It just isn’t fair. Your little Ronan was beyond precious and the love you had for him clearly, immeasurable. I sit here with tears pouring down my face after reading this and my son (6) was sad to see me upset. I gave him the hugest hug and told him why I was sad. He didn’t really understand completely, but my boy has the sweetest heart and and just said “we are lucky that we aren’t sick like that poor boy” He put it in the best words to me…..we ARE lucky. We take soo much for granted in this world and complain about the most ridiculous things….reading your story about the night you lost your little boy, has touched me greatly. I promise you, and Ronan that I won’t take things for granted…I will hug my kids more tightly and enjoy every second with them. Seems very simple to say this but to me, it has truly changed my heart today.
    thank-you for sharing this painful story.

    Reply
  340. Tonya

     /  May 12, 2011

    So sorry for this devastating loss. I cannot imagine your pain, I wish I could just hug you and help heal your heart somehow. Just know you have touched so many people, I will keep reading your story. Much love to you and your family.

    Reply
  341. Heidi G.

     /  May 12, 2011

    Maya,

    I want to give you a hug and tell you how sorry I am for all of the pain your family is going through. Your Ronan Baby has changed my life and will continue to change the lives of many others. You are the most amazing bravest mom on this planet. I will always remember Your Ronan.

    xoxo

    Heidi in Vancouver, WA

    Reply
  342. Carrie

     /  May 12, 2011

    I am so sorry for your loss, and you and your family will be in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your story! It makes you stop, and remember all the important people in life, and to cherish every moment you have with them. I don’t even know you, but my heart is breaking for all of you. I will be back to read more of your story. Take care or yourself and always hold on to your memories.

    Reply
  343. Dee & Caitlynn

     /  May 12, 2011

    We sent two big red heart balloons up to heaven for you today! We just wanted to let you know we’re celebrating your life today! Angels! Xoxodee&caity

    Reply
  344. I cried the whole time reading this. My Prayers and Thoughts will always be with your family.

    Reply
  345. Matt (Dad)

     /  May 14, 2011

    My Wife has been following and talking about Ronan to me for many months now. I have to be honest, I have not followed your families story as my Wife has. This morning is the first time I have read your words, and I have been sobbing throughout the morning. This is not a “story” it is your life and feel for your family with every ounce of my being. As a Father, I feel for your husband. We are supposed to be the strength of our family, the providers and protectors. You have inspired our family to treat eachother kinder, not get wrapped up the the petty day to day things that don’t really matter. Although we don’t know you and we live in a different city, Ronan’s legacy will enrich and make all of our lives better. With Love from Flagstaff….The Stribling Family.

    Reply
  346. Carol

     /  May 15, 2011

    Dearest Maya,
    I am one of the hundreds of souls who does not know you personally but who has been on my knees praying from afar for Ronan, you, Woody and your children. I have been educated about this wicked disease and life by you. Thank you. My heart is broken into a million pieces for you all. I will never forget you. Sending warm hugs from Michigan…

    Reply
  347. Khristen

     /  May 16, 2011

    Ronan,
    We miss you but have never met you. We ran outside last night because we missed the posting on facebook and but at 7:15 we saw one last balloon on its way to you. My girls shed tears for a boy they have never met. Your family has touched ours in so many ways. Good night sweet boy. We will never forget you or your family in our daily prayers.

    Reply
  348. i have a son who will be 4 next month who i will hold a little closer after reading this tonight. i wish peace and love on you all. my heart breaks for you.

    Reply
  349. Followed ronan from jan 1 but not comp savvy & didnt know how 2 comment til now. I grew 2 love ro & have great respect 4 u maya. I cried 4 hrs when chop sent him home. I miss him always

    Reply
  350. Chris

     /  June 5, 2011

    This is quite honestly is the one of the saddest and most senseless things I think I have ever heard of. Maya, both you and Ronan have had and will continue to have such a profound effect on my life and it is because of the two of you that I will cherish every day that I have with my family. You, Ronan, and the rest of your family are beautiful people.

    Sending love from Connecticut,
    Chris

    Reply
  351. Taylor

     /  October 24, 2011

    I stumbled across your blog recently, and just wanted to tell you what an inspiration you are to me. I just read this post, and I don’t think that I have ever felt such sadness. After reading it i instantly picked my son up out of his crib and held him and cried. I can’t thank you enough from the bottom of my heart for reminding me to cherish every moment that I have with my beautiful son the way you did with yours. I am so so sorry for your loss.

    Reply
  352. Dolan

     /  March 5, 2012

    I stumbled upon your blog in researching a discussion about grief for a paper I’m writing. I am a father of 2 boys, ages 2.5 and 4.5 and left for work this morning frustrated after another day of my older son refusing to poop on the potty (even though he’s perfectly able to, and now our younger son is doing it)….my biggest concern this morning was were we doing something wrong and why was he choosing to exercise his control in this frustrating way. I was so angry with him yesterday because I can’t make sense of why he’s doing this. I love that boy with so much of my heart that it scares me sometimes. And then I read this. Your words have made this grown man cry sitting in his office at work. I cannot begin to fathom the pain and your words made it so palpable that the pain was cutting right through me. I am so so so fucking sorry that your beautiful boy had this awful thing happen and that this awful thing happened to you all. I will keep all of you in my thoughts forevermore and thank you for making me remember what is truly important and how precious and fragile this all is. Sending so much love to you and your family.

    Reply
  353. Thanks Bitch, now Im crying,lol.

    Reply
  354. That was meant for a fb friend. I thought I was putting this on faceboook….sorry.

    Reply
  355. Jordin

     /  July 29, 2012

    Maya,

    This entry left me heartbroken. I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer is such a terrible, terrible thing that ruins lives. And takes lives. I’m sorry that it stole away your beautiful baby boy, and I’m so glad that you’re doing all that you possibly can to stop Neuroblastoma. I admire you and keep up the good work, because we can all stop fucking cancer if we try.

    Reply
  356. Mindy Harris

     /  September 7, 2012

    I just read your story for the first time and I am so sorry for the loss of your son and everything that he and your family have been through. I have a son that is about to turn 4 and I don’t know what I would do if I lost him. You are so strong and your story is inspiring and will touch millions of people and you son will be your guardian angel now. That’s what he looked like in his pictures. An angel…

    Reply
  357. Brandon

     /  September 7, 2012

    I feel really sorry after reading your blog.I know exactly how you felt.Seriously,I’ve been crying since the first word in this post.Life is always not fair.And we just cannot do anything.That’s why sometimes we all hate life.Life is unpredictable and unexpectable.Anything would happen in just a turn.You should get up,love and take good care of ur twins :) Ronan will sure by your side guiding you to the right way.

    Reply
  358. mackenzie

     /  September 7, 2012

    this really touched my heart i saw this and read a whole page and bursted into tears i dont know how you make it through the day knowing that the best thing that ever happend to you is gone hang in there and remember that ronan will always be remembered. The thing that i thought was funny is that i took a braclet from the starbucks at the new frys around may last year and it said rockstar roman and now im hearing about this and i guess my moms friend is your best friend and i think that you are amazing for making it through this sincerely , mackenzie morrison

    Reply
  359. mackenzie

     /  September 7, 2012

    i know how you feel my friend lost her sister to cancer at the age of 15(lauren schenk) she was close to me and as soon as i found out i thought thta that was just the saddest thing ever i was crying the whole night and everytime i look at ronans braclet i get teaary eyed and i think that the fact that taylor swift wrote a song about ronan out of all of the people in the world to write a song about she chose ronan beacause he is a special boy in all of our hearts and the fact that you wrote a blog for almost every day your little boy was diagniosed os just amazing no woner she picked you. I know you dont think its fair that you took ronan but im sure your getting through life with good memories of laughter and not crying over what didnt get to happen.

    Reply
  360. I’ve heard about little Ronan only a few days ago because of Taylor Swift’s song for him, so I looked down on the internet for his story and found your blog. I’ve been reading it non-stop since yesterday, and… I’m speechless. I have no words to explain how all of this has touched my heart, I feel really, really, really sorry for you and your family, and I know that I never experienced anything merely close to that, but I could say I can feel the pain you feel by your writing. It’s really amazing, you know? How someone can touch other people’s life, and I can surely say even though I didn’t have the chance to meet little Ronan he sure moved me with his history. Even though I already knew he passed away, somehow, when reading your old posts, I was hoping inside that he would get better and be healthy again. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you… I just admire your strengh to keep on living after this, you are really amazing. I cried several times when reading your posts, and they made me think about my life and how stupid I am to have complained for such small and trivial problems sometimes… No problem I’ve had until today should be even considered a problem compared to this, and from now on I’m gonna thank God everyday for the gift of being alive and for everyone I love being healthy. Life’s really a gift we should not take for granted, and I’d like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and everything, I feel like it helped me to grow up a little bit.
    And it may sound stupid, but I’m a biology student and I’m currently studying cancer cells and working with oncovirus that maybe, someday, can be used to treat or even cure cancer… Now, after reading about Ronan, it has gave me a real reason to keep up with my study and I really hope someday I can do something to help those little kids with cancer.

    I wish you and your family all the best and strengh to move on with your life, I really admire you, and I know Ronan would wanna be with you right now if he could, but I also know he surely is happy and proud of you, wherever he is. And probably surrounded by little angels and beautiful stars, just like him. (:

    Love,

    Priscilla Gomes

    Reply
  361. My heart breaks a million times over for you, and crying as I write this, i would like to express the deepest condolences I can possibly offer. I wish I could say “I understand, it’ll get better” but I can’t. It is something I can’t fathom, and will never be able to…..Why this earth-shatteringly terrible thing happens. Please stay strong, and much love.

    Reply
  362. Phoenix Cabiling

     /  September 8, 2012

    I knew about Ronan for just a few hours, and it was because of Taylor Swift’s beautiful song about your beautiful baby boy… I couldn’t stop crying while reading your blog… I felt like I knew him… I couldn’t imagine what you felt when this happened when here I am, just reading it and feeling absolute pain… It’s really not fair… I know it isn’t. And I can’t really say that I know how you feel because I haven’t experienced what you have experienced… I hope you are doing good now, Ronan will always be with your family… He is your beautiful little angel now…

    Reply
  363. Cheyenne Drews

     /  September 8, 2012

    It’s because of Taylor Swift that I found your story. I call myself her biggest fan every day and one day I know I’ll be able to tell her in person the impact she’s made on me. But, the bigger impacts are the stories she tells. I listened to her song Ronan over and over again as I read through your blogs. And even though I knew how it ended and I knew it was inevitable, I used every ounce of myself to wish for something different to happen. For things to change. And as I got to this entry, I just lost it. I lost it all and I just cried and cried and didn’t want to believe it. I’m only 16, so I won’t pretend to understand what you go through each day without him. In school I act for my theater program and I did a scene from a show called Rabbit Hole for a competition. As hard as I tried to depict a character that has to live each day without their son, I knew and pray I’ll never come close to fully understanding. I want you to know your inspiration. And every time I hear Taylor’s song, I’ll be able to take time from my day to picture his little face and hope that you are making it through the day.
    I don’t know you, at all, but I love you for everything you’ve done and for the child you shared. Don’t give up. “You can walk away say we don’t need this. But there’s something in your eyes says we can beat this”. Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, but you’ll see his eyes again some day. This is our temporary home. Stay beautiful.
    Lovelovelove,
    A Mess of A Dreamer,
    Cheyenne<3

    Reply
  364. Katy

     /  September 8, 2012

    I can not tell you how deeply sorry I am about Ronan not being here anymore. But he is still inspiring people and his story is far, far away from being finished.
    It doesn’t make sense and it will never make sense why this things happen.
    I send lots and lots of love, to you, to your family and to Ronan. Because even if I never had the blessing to meet him, it feels like he inspires me and made me see things in a diffrent way.

    And we will always love him for that <3 xoxoxo

    Reply
  365. Caitlin V

     /  September 8, 2012

    I found out of your blog through Taylor Swift’s beautiful performance on Stand Up 2 Cancer. After hearing her song, and composing myself after sobbing, I pulled up your site and went to work. I’ve read and reread and searched through every month to try and feel your pain, your sorrow and live your life through these entries. I cried with each new posting. I cried for your son and his pain but I also cried for you. I am a Mother of one boy; an 18 month old named Cooper, and I could not imagine what you had to go through. He is my partner in crime. Children are the greatest joys in ones life and to see them in pain and suffering is by far the hardest thing a parent may endure. I am so sorry. I’m sure you’ve heard that millions of times, but I truly am. I wish there was somehow we could all bring you back Ronan, but I’m sure, as you’ve been told, he is always there. He is in your home, in your twins, your husband and mainly your heart. You are a brave woman and sound like an exceptional Mother. I don’t know how you could have been so strong. I admire you.

    I look forward to reading more.
    Thank you for sharing.
    I hope all the joy for you all to come.

    Sincerely.
    Caity

    Reply
  366. kayla

     /  September 8, 2012

    I read this blog because of Taylor’s song. After crying while listening to “Ronan” i decided to find this blog and read it. i am so sorry for your loss. i cant even begin to imagine how hard it must have been and still must be for you and your family. Reading your story i Bawled my eyes out. I couldn’t even begin to express my sorrow. i know i never knew you or Ronan but i feel like when i read your story i did.

    Sincerely,
    Kayla

    Reply
  367. Elisabeth

     /  September 8, 2012

    After hearing Taylor Swift’s absolutely stunning song, I found your blog. It’s helped me a lot. I cried through both the song, and your post on Ronan dying. When I was around 4 my Mom was pregnant with my sister. She ended up having to have emergency surgery for sharp pain in her abdomen. The doctors never found out what was wrong, but when my Mom woke up from surgery, they told her that they had lost the baby. 11yrs. later, I think about it everyday. What would my sister have been like? What would my other life have been like? I will never know. Taylor’s song helped me see even though there is heartbreak in this world, there’s also love and memories in the smallest things.

    Bare feet down a hallway.

    Thank you,
    Elisabeth

    Reply
  368. Hannah

     /  September 8, 2012

    Rest in Peace to the most beautiful boy. <3 I'm sincerely heartbroken for your loss of such a vibrant, bright, vivacious little angel. Stay strong.

    Reply
  369. Mo B.

     /  September 8, 2012

    I found your blog because of Taylor Swift’s new song. After I listened to her song, I just wanted to know more about the story behind it.

    I’m really sorry for your loss. I know it’s hard to describe these feelings in words. Thank you for sharing this wonderful journey with us. I just couldn’t hold back my tears while reading this. Lots of love from Thailand to you and your family. Stay strong!

    Sincerely,
    Mo

    Reply
  370. I am sorry he is gone. Its been so long. He is happy though. You will see him again. You will.

    Reply
  371. Julia

     /  September 8, 2012

    I have cried my eyes out reading these posts. I can’t even imagine…. I just cant. Ronan not had but HAS an impact on sooo many people ranging from little kids to 100!!

    Reply
  372. Amanda C

     /  September 8, 2012

    no words are able to come out of my mouth. this post is touching in so many ways. i am 15 years old and when i read this post i cried my eyes out feeling the pain that u went through while i read along. you ave inspired me and motivated me in so many ways. my prayers go out to you. you are loved by so many <3 rip ronan

    Reply
  373. Alison S

     /  September 9, 2012

    Just read your story. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. You truly are a very inspiring women.

    xoxo

    Reply
  374. Madelyn

     /  September 9, 2012

    Taylor’s song led me here. & i am so glad it did.
    Words cannot describe how sorry i am for your loss. reading your blog, getting to know Ronan in this way i feel as if i am now grieving for him too and i cannot begin to imagine how it must feel for you. thank you for giving me the chance to know your beautiful son Ronan. If i could trade my life for his, i would give him back to you.
    Lots of love from Down Under,

    Sincerely,
    Madelyn

    Reply
  375. Olivia

     /  September 9, 2012

    I am so touched by Ronan’s story. Reading this, I was hysterically sobbing. I am so sorry, but I know I don’t feel nearly as much pain as you do, even now. I know I don’t understand, and I wish I could find more comforting words but saying that I understand, that I feel what you’re going through, would just make you angry because I know that’s a lie. How could I possibly know those things? So I hope the fact that I want to help you, I want to make you feel better, is enough. It has been over a year, but I know you are still hurting. Whoever judges you for not getting over it, for not moving on, needs to experience what you have experienced before they say a word. They are disgusting. You are so strong, and it is so admirable that you are using Ronan’s death to help raise awareness. You are so honorable and I will try to the best of my ability to raise awareness as well.

    Reply
  376. Brianna

     /  September 9, 2012

    Thank you, for your beautiful son, and your beautiful words. Youre little rockstar will be someone who sticks with me forever. I hope all is well with your family. Xo

    Reply
  377. Bonnie

     /  September 9, 2012

    After crying while listing to Taylor Swifts song Ronan, i then read this post which literally has broke my heart. I cannot imagine the pain you and your family are going through. RIP Ronan, you have touched many peoples hearts.

    Bonnie.

    Reply
  378. Candace

     /  September 9, 2012

    I know I already left you a comment earlier…this is still on my mind. I will never forget your little boy. I will never forget the impact that he made on me today. I have never felt so moved by someone I don’t even know…this world is a cruel place. I am inspired by you, I am inspired by your brave little boy. I want you to know that learning about your familys struggle, your little ones fight, has changed my life forever. I used to let little things get to me, I used to feel sad and sorry about life, about things I’ve been through, about things I don’t have or used to have, about things that compared to your story are NOTHING. NOTHING. Right now I feel so humbled, I feel so sad, I feel so petty. There are so many things I want to write to you but I can’t even form the words. I have taken so much for granted and after reading your story through your posts here etc I feel inspired. I wish that you didn’t have to go through this, I wish there was something I could do personally to bring your little boy back. As a mother myself I can’t and wont IMAGINE even going through anything near this. Your strength is amazing, it fucking amazes me. How a human being, a person, after losing one of the loves of their life. Their self proclaimed other half even…can still go on, can still wake up each morning, can still fight for happiness and peace, can still move forward, can still live….I never knew such strength existed.It sounds so weird and most likely to others silly but I don’t care how it sounds, you, your son Ronan, your family has changed me forever. Forever. Please know that. Your sons story is one that will be with me forever. When I am faced with the things that would usually defeat me, that would usually depress me, that would usually spark anger or fear I will think of your brave little boy, I will think of YOU as a mother dealing with what you have been through, and I will get past it..and I won’t let whatever that miniscule thing is keep me down.

    Love,
    Candace

    Reply
  379. Candace

     /  September 9, 2012

    Like many other people who have posted lately I too heard Taylors new song and I cryed. Never have i felt like i knew someone, or have love for someone just by listening to a song or reading a story. Your story has touched my heart and i will never forget your little beautiful blue eyed boy. For you to share your story with such heartfelt raw emotion is incredible. I felt like i was there with you, crying my eyes out. You and your family are so strong and inspiring. My mother got cancer when i was 7, and is now over 10 years cancer free. Cancer SUCKS, and is cruel! Your story will forever be with me, every bad day i will think of your little rockstar. I will share your story with who ever I can. I hope you are able to make your dreams a reality one day!!

    Love to your family

    Reply
  380. Jade

     /  September 9, 2012

    Hello. I am a 16 year old girl so when I heard the song Ronan by Taylor Swift I went looking for the story behind it. I find your blog. I have spent a majority of the night reading this blog. I can’t imagine what it felt like to lose your son. I want you to know that I dont know your family but I know that Ronan would be proud of everything you have done for him. I can’t imagine your pain you still must feel but I will pray for Ronan and your family. God Bless you. Love Jade

    Reply
  381. I heard Taylor’s beautiful song, which led me here to your blog. Please know that Ronan’s story has inspired so many people and will continue to do so. God bless your family.

    Reply
  382. Sitara

     /  September 9, 2012

    Dear Ronan,
    Thank you for your story, you have inspired so many. you hold a special place in my heart.
    your family is so strong and its people like them and you who make this world a better place.
    I wish your family much luck and love.
    xoxo
    Sitara

    Reply
  383. Kaitlin

     /  September 10, 2012

    Maya, what an amazing role model and mother you are. I have never seen such bravery and unconditional love from a single soul in my lifetime. Thank you for being so openly honest with Ronan’s story and the daily struggles you endure. I will continue to pray for the peace you deserve and am grateful that you have the sweet soul of Ronan to watch over you.

    Kaitlin

    Reply
  384. Chandra Pottle

     /  September 10, 2012

    You are a light in the world to others, and I feel honored to have read your LOVE story. You have taught me to find the good in bad, the beauty in the ugly, and to never give up. The angels in heaven are one less, becuase you are here, and much as Ronan was your earth angel, you too were his and I know he’s singing your favorite songs in heaven waiting for the day you see each other again.

    Blessings to you and your family.

    Reply
  385. Lori

     /  September 10, 2012

    I’m sitting in my office at work unable to do anything but sit here and read your blog and cry. My heart breaks for you. Your boy is so beautiful and its horrific that this had to happen to him. Our daughter was born with a birth defect and had to spend her first 8 months in hospital. She is now 4 and had her first day of JK today. I can tell you that I will think of your little boy everyday and pray that you and your family remember and rejoice in his memory. Take care, Lori Cowie, Windsor, Ontario, Canada

    Reply
  386. Eliza

     /  September 10, 2012

    I was bawling through this.
    I know how it feels to see a loved one go due to medical conditions- ESPECIALLY cancer.
    I feel very, very sympathetic toward you. Your thoughts for Ronan are so touching, and it is beautiful how you are never going to let his memory die.
    You have touched the souls of millions- including me.
    I will keep him in mind when I pray.
    </3 I am so terribly sorry this had to happen.

    Reply
  387. monica

     /  September 10, 2012

    For about a month now I’ve been asking myself many questions that don’t seem to have any answers. Questions like what is my purpose in life, what really matters in our lives, what am i doing right and what am i doing wrong? What comes after high school? Am i making the right choice in moving away from my family for college? I’ve learned to ask all of these questions with three simple words, “What is life?” Most of my questions seem insignificant. But with your blog I have found my answer to those three simple words that have been haunting me.

    Ronan. He is the answer.

    I actually didn’t read your blog until today (September 10, 2012). I heard Taylor Swift’s song and i immediately fell in love with your story and your little boy Ronan. Last night, I got home and I couldn’t sleep. Those questions kept poking around in my head looking for an answer, any answer. That’s when Ronan’s blue eyes popped in my head. I kept thinking about him and the journey he went through. Finally I found peace of mind and fell asleep. When i woke up i didn’t feel at ease i actually felt a little sick. Then i looked up your blog and read a few of your posts. As i kept reading, i knew i had found the right answer.

    Ronan. Ronan is life and will continue to be life.

    I don’t know how the universe works. None of us ever will. But i’m glad i was tossing and turning and that i found your blog. In the blink of an eye it really did change me.

    Thank you for being such a great and strong mother. Not only did you help your little boy Ronan, but you have helped so many other people including myself. If we had more people like you on this planet, i assure you this would be a better place. I know that you will never feel the same again and i am truly sorry for that. So sorry. But i know that you will forever and always carry that beautiful blue eyed boy in your heart, as will I. Even though i didn’t get the chance to meet him, Ronan will forever guide me in everything I do.

    It’s so easy to get caught up on superficial things that I forget what really matters. But thanks to Ronan and your family’s strength and love I have found my way once again and will continue to find my way. So thank you very much. Thank you for sharing your son with me.

    And thank you Ronan for being such a strong little guy. You truly are a rockstar.

    Reply
  388. Lindsay Greene

     /  September 10, 2012

    my thoughts are with you and your family xoxox

    Reply
  389. Dear Ronan,

    I’ve heard about your story from a friend of mine, who’s a Swiftie. I listened to her song (YOUR SONG!!!) and reached this site. I just couldn’t stop reading. I read every little word your mama wrote here, and it was just so… Beautiful! I don’t have words to describe it. It’s the most beautiful and pure love I’ve ever seen! I can feel it in my heart. It’s big and strong. It’s like I knew you. You’re the most loved little guy in the Earth! As your mama said: “It is eternal.” Maya, you’re a very strong woman. With all my heart and care, I support what you’re doing. I BELIEVE you can go through all this bad stuff and I BELIEVE you will find the cure. LOVE IS THE ANSWER TO EVERYTHING! God bless you and your family. Always.

    An admirer from Brazil,

    Ana Carolina

    Reply
  390. Sylvie Brideau

     /  September 10, 2012

    I was brought to this blog from the Taylor Swift’s song. I just finished reading over 40 blog posts. I am filled with both Sadness and inspiration. I am a mom myself a toddler son and my heart hurts just THINKING what it must feel like to lose a child. Maya you are an incredibly brave and generous mom. Generous to let us know about your son and about your journey when time was so precious. THANK YOU for sharing Ronan’s story. He is indeed the MOST BEAUTIFUL BOY that ever walked this earth. My prayers and thoughts are with your family.

    Reply
  391. Deborah Pogacar

     /  September 10, 2012

    I am in tears a lot more than I have been before- I received a text from my favorite nurse at UCSF this past Sunday with a picture of the most beautiful little boy and it read ” Ronan” by Taylor Swift- go follow his story…Well, I think your site and Ronan’s story has had me for the last two days. I have a long way to go but have read various parts of it. My son Jack Ryan was diagnosed on Aug. 18th 2005 with Leukemia and battled it for three and a half years so although we alost lost him he is here and is so far doing well at the age of 10. You are the most beautiful writer and I am going to share your site with hundreds of my friends here in the Bay Area. I am sort of speechless right now and can’t stop thinking about your final hours with Ronan. I hope and pray that your family is even stronger and that you continue to share Ronan with the world- how fortunate he was to have all your unconditional love.

    Reply
  392. Sara

     /  September 10, 2012

    I have been listening to Taylor Swifts song for 2 days straight and reading this post made me ball. No mother should have this happen to them. I have never even met Ronan but i feel he has a special place in my heart now. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. <3

    Reply
  393. David

     /  September 11, 2012

    I read this story for the first time today. I’m a man I don’t cry but this story touched me to my core.

    Reply
  394. Amy

     /  September 11, 2012

    I had to change the channel when I heard Taylor sing and saw her eyes well up with tears. I didnt want to know if this was true or not, yet, here I am, reading about your little man and the incredible anguish you must feel. I’m the Mother of 3, and I swear that I could feel every ounce of your pain. I’m at work right now, and in complete tears, trying not to make eye contact with anyone. I will keep your precious little boy in my prayers every night, and I will ask God to give you and your family continued strength. Peace and love to you.

    Reply
    • Taylor

       /  September 12, 2012

      I am also at work right now. After reading this post, someone walked in on me as tears were streaming down my face. You, Maya have so much strength. What a precious gift you gave and continue to give Ronan. Writing is powerful. As humans, we may not have achieved your/our goal of finding a cure for this disease but you DEFINITELY have achieved your goal of raising awareness. Let’s beat this disease. For Ronan and every other child that should never have to endure such pain.

      Reply
  395. Amy

     /  September 11, 2012

    I heard your story on the news and had to read it for myself. Thank you for sharing this. I’m going to hug, kiss, love and cherish my little 5 year old boy thinking of your Ronan today. Thank you for sharing your story of an amazing little boy.

    Reply
  396. k buchan

     /  September 11, 2012

    Maya your story is so incredibly touching. I wish you all the love in the world, and hope your little girl brings you all the joy that you deserve. What a wonderful mother you were to Ronan.

    All my love, k

    Reply
  397. As I sit here in the hospital Chemo pumping through my own son Tristan’s veins reading your entire blog crying my eyes out, I realize I am not at a place that I can handle the reality of your fight. I am sorry for what you and sweet Ronan had to endure and continue to do so.
    i will never understand the why. No answer will ever be good enough for me!
    He is beautiful and will forever be. I heard your story through the Taylor Swift song Ronan on the News and through a Cancer mom’s group I belong to. I feel a connection to you and your pain and I wish that I could somehow make it stop. You are an Inspiration and I thank you for that. thank you for Sharing your story!!!
    With love Tiffany

    Reply
  398. Guisella

     /  September 11, 2012

    Maya,

    What an inspiration you are!! Today you reminded me through your story the importance of being a mother. I thank you for sharing your journey and help us understand that the precious things we have in life cannot be taken for granted. I love my kids today more than ever. I will always remember your beautiful boy Ronan, he is haven now watching over you and being proud of having such a strong and loving mother.

    God bless your family,

    Reply
  399. Whitney B

     /  September 11, 2012

    Thank you for telling Ronan’s story and putting your feelings into words. I cried my eyes out just reading it – so I cannot even imagine how you did it. It is truly amazing and moving.

    I hope that your words will help everyone remember to appreciate every thing that they are lucky enough to have in their own life every single day.

    Thanks Ronan (and Maya for writing your story) — you have made a huge impact on how I look at life.

    Reply
  400. Ana

     /  September 11, 2012

    I have read everything on your blog and I cannot wrap my head around how beautiful and strong you are. Every word you’ve written has made me weep. You have forever changed my life I cannot describe to you how every time I will complain about little things I will think about your absolutely stunning baby boy. BEAUTIFUL you and your whole family deserve the best in the world.

    Reply
  401. Kathy

     /  September 12, 2012

    <3

    Reply
  402. stephanie

     /  September 12, 2012

    I know it has been a little bit since your precious little Ronan left. I just want you to know that after reading your post and especially this one i went home last night hugged my 2 year old so tight and fed him cookies and ice cream for desert then we snuggled on the couch and watch a movie. In reality i was exhausted from working a long day and being pregnant but instead of being selfish and pushing him to play in his room or outside with friends i spent all my time with him last night snuggling…. You are a strong women!!!

    Reply
  403. I just read your post and the tears are just pouring down my cheeks. I am so very, very utterly sorry for your loss and for the heartache that you and your family have had to endure. I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through, but my heart goes out to you. You are a strong woman and Ronan was so lucky to have you as his mom. My most heartfelt condolences to you and all of your loved ones.

    Reply
  404. Kim

     /  September 12, 2012

    while reading this tears were falling from my eyes,
    i truly cannot feel what you and your family felt at that time.
    Your family is very strong and i will never take anything for granted again.
    Ronan has inspired me without even knowing me

    Reply
  405. Becribaya

     /  September 12, 2012

    I know I am far behind on reading this. after hearing Taylor’s song and the song having me in tears enough I had to come check out your website. this has me a total mess. I couldn’t imagine going through what you did. you’re one of the strongest people. Ronan was beautiful looking at his face brings me joy in how happy he still was being sick. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.

    Reply
  406. Abby

     /  September 12, 2012

    Ronan has inspired me. I have read this 10 times and can’t stop balling. My heart goes out to your family. I know what it feels like to lose someone you love so much of cancer. Ronan was a beautiful boy and continues to inspire me.

    Reply
  407. Yvonne Linen

     /  September 13, 2012

    I can’t imagine your pain even a year later. My heart goes out to you and your husband. I will go home today and hug my kids that much harder. Thank you for making clear really whats importnat in life. I’ve been taking life for granted rushing around, yelling to get their homeowrk done. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Reply
  408. Bri Dugan

     /  September 13, 2012

    I cannot handle this, Maya. I am very inspired by the strength of you and your family. I know it’s been some time since but I’m sure to you it feels like yesterday. I am not a mother yet, but I do work with special needs children. I have lost a few in the many years I’ve been with them and I’ve expirenced a sliver of your pain. I could barely handle that. Your blog is very colorful and tasteful. It opens my eyes on things. Helps me understand life better. Makes me appreciate a lot more now. Thank you. Thank you for sharing your journey with the world wide web. Thank you for putting a mass amount of awareness out there. And thank you for standing up even taller than before. After learning more about you, about Ronan and about your family, you’ve made me love Arizona even more. It breaks my heart to know Ronan was here suffering in my favorite state. He has, because of you, now left a bright legacy here in Arizona. The sunrises are brighter. The sunsets are deeper. The storms are more peaceful. Even though I have never met you, I wish I could. I also wish I could have gotten a chance to meet Ronan. Even if we were to pass by at the local store. I’ve been reading your blog for the past few days. Some entries multiples times. I have to say, not a second goes by that I don’t think about your family. I feel honored to have the privilege of reading this blog. I wish you and your family the best. The best in all that you do. All that you are forever faced with. Your son is an inspiration. As are you. Thank you for everything, Maya and Ronan. I’ll forever think of you.

    Reply
  409. JanetChua

     /  September 13, 2012

    Dearest Maya,
    Although it has been over a year since u posted this, I still want to let you know that Ronan is a beautiful angel and I’m happy for you that you had such a child as him. I am inspired by your story, and I have told myself that I will try my utmost best to find a cure for cancer.

    Reply
  410. Hedda

     /  September 13, 2012

    Dear Maya.
    I am so sorry for your loss. I’ve lost both my grandfathers to cancer, and it is the most terrible disease. I can’t imagine what you had to go through these last years. You family are so brave and my heart goes out to all of you. After reading your posts and hearing the song, I just had to call my little brother. He’s just turned 6 yrs, and I’m away at College and I miss him every day. Ronans song reminded me of my brother in so many ways, the dinosaurs, the dancing and the blue eyes.. I don’t know if i could go on if anything ever happened to him. I’m so inspired and touched by your and Ronans story, you are amazing.

    Thank you so much for being brave and strong enough to share you story.
    From Norway to The USA, I send all my love to you, your family and to Ronan.

    “I love you to the moon and back”

    Reply
  411. Lisa

     /  September 13, 2012

    I wish you strength and love … Bless you and your family and bless beautiful Ronan. I have no wise words -but I am in awe of your courage and ability to share Ronan with all of us in such a special way. May you somehow, someway, someday find inner comfort and peace in the gift of your love and undying support for your baby. Ronan … I will now always remember that name and the beautiful angel that it belonged to.

    Thoughts, love and blessings to you and your family xoxo

    Reply
  412. Alexis

     /  September 13, 2012

    My heart is so full right now..I just became familiar with your beautiful Ronan and your story because of Taylor Swift’s song. Ronan’s story and yours has forever changed me. I am a mother and I get so caught up in the day to day life of school, homework, chores, etc. that I often forget ..to live. After hearing the song and reading your blog, it brought a rememberance of how incredibly precious these sweet angels are and how precious life is. I have taken so much for granted and I only hope and pray that I can do better from now on. To think about what really matters in life. To cherish each moment, for it will never happen again. To enjoy the laughs, the way they talk, their smiles. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. Thank you for sharing your sweet, beautiful baby boy with us. May God bless you and your family and grant you strength in your work to end cancer! It has touched my life too often.
    God Bless! XOXOXO

    Reply
  413. Reblogged this on Beer For Breakfast and commented:
    My heart is broken.

    Reply
  414. Melissa Kendzierski

     /  September 14, 2012

    Dear Maya and family,
    I have been deeply touched by Ronan’s story. I did not know of little Ronan until the debut of Taylor’s song. When I heard the lyrics, I cried like a baby. I too am a mother and cannot understand why little ones are taken from this Earth so early. It is heart breaking and not right. My heart truly aches for you and I pray that you find peace, somehow, knowing that Ronan was an amazing little boy and that his story continues on…..I commend you for doing what you are doing; getting up each day, continuing on with the fight, in hopes of one day, finding a cure for this “fucking disease”. I am crying as I type this message….so much could be said, but at the same time, what do you say? As my eyes fill with tears, I will leave you with this……children are a blessing, so innocent, so perfect, requiring love and guidance from their parents. We help mold our little ones into what they become. Ronan was very lucky to have parents such as you and your husband. As he was a blessing to you, you were a blessing to him! Love and strength to you and your family,
    Melissa Kendzierski

    Reply
  415. Jennifer

     /  September 14, 2012

    I adore Taylor Swift and after hearing her sing “Ronan” on the Stand Up to Cancer special I immediately wanted to find out more about this special little boy. I cried while reading this post. Ronan was a beautiful boy who was taken way too soon. I am 21 and I hope by the end of my life they find a cure for cancer. It’s just a horrible disease, as you know all too well. I’m so sorry for your loss. You are such a strong woman and have an amazing family. You all loved Ronan so much, if only love could cure cancer.

    Reply
  416. Myranda Curto

     /  September 14, 2012

    I can’t even tell you how much I cried for you guys. I really can’t even see the keyboard right now. It is so horrbile how Ronan had to go through all this but he is in a better place. You were all a blessing to each other. Even though I am 15 years old I have learned to take nothing for granted. I found your story from Taylor Swift. I was listening to that song on repeat as I read your blog that my friend told me about. You and your family are an inspiration. Blessings out to you and your family.
    Myranda Curto

    Reply
  417. Mommy to mommy. i have cried through pages and months of your beautiful blog. what a special woman you are to be chosen to raise this boy. He is waiting for your arms on the other side. my heart aches for you. -Mother of 3 boys.

    Reply
  418. Nicole

     /  September 15, 2012

    Ronan had inspired me to make a difference and to raise awareness. Fuck you cancer and all of the precious lives that you’ve take . I can assure you that he will not be forgotten- you’re family has and will continue to do great things!
    You have taught me that life is a gift and we should always grab ahold of our loved ones and savor every moment! Thank you Maya for sharing beautiful Ronan’s life with us. I am forever changed because of your precious little boy. Xoxo.

    Reply
  419. Ursula

     /  September 15, 2012

    It´s 2:12 am, I just finished reading this post and I´m crying so hard. Nobody´s have to go through something like that. I hope you are all better now. From Estonia to USA, I´m sending all my love to your family

    Reply
  420. Ashley

     /  September 16, 2012

    After hearing Ronan’s song, I literally became obsessed with your guys’ story. As I’ve been reading your blog, I’ve been crying nonstop. It feels like I’ve been picked up and dropped into your story; your lives. It feels like I knew Ro personally; like he was a big part of my life too. I’m so inspired by your love story. You really give a whole new definition to “Don’t take anything for granted.” Ronan…..That name will stick with me for the rest of my life. The boy with the big blue eyes; the one who was taken so tragically. I just ordered my “Rockstar Ronan” T-shirt. I believe in this cause and I will support you guys in any way possible. Ronan has done so much good to this world, and he will not be forgotten. I wish you all the best.

    “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened” <3

    Reply
  421. maya

     /  September 16, 2012

    hi,i saw the standup to cancer and bursted out in tears while i looked at the pure face of the most beautiul little boy i have ever seen in my life. The words taylor put into the song were beautiful yet heart-breaking. I think that how you let put your grief is the most perfect way anyone can possibly let out their pain. Im sure that the thought of your little boy growing up and reading this in heaven brings peace upon your soul. Im sure he so thankful to Taylor and so proud of you and your family for being this brave. He will never be forgotten and will be forever embedded on your souls and all those souls of all the people inspired by him (including me) and so many more. RIP Ronan, I know you are watching over your family right now. WE LOVE YOU RONAN THOMPSON, come on baby with me we’re gonna fly away from here, you were OUR best four years.

    Reply
  422. Christina Koran

     /  September 16, 2012

    I just came across this post through a friend who posted it on facebook and shared with me along with the song from Taylor Swift. This is so heartbreaking and while listening to the song I read through your blog and I couldn’t help but have my eyes well up with tears and cry even though I have never met you or your family. But it is something very hard to go through and it’s unfair that you had to go through something this cruel. Your words and experience have touched me and will continue to touch many others. I’m glad you chose to write about it and let the world know. I wish you all the best, take care.

    Reply
  423. Jennifer

     /  September 16, 2012

    I am a 16 year old girl who read this for the first time and is now balling her eyes out. I’m trying to stop crying and I seriously cannot. To think this is your child and you’re going through it even worse makes me want to comfort you forever. I wish you and your family the best in everything! Keep on fighting and I never want anybody to ever give up on finding a cure for any disease. Nobody deserves this.

    Reply
  424. Christine S

     /  September 17, 2012

    Beautiful wonderful amazing loving blue eyed Ronan. Maya, I am so sorry for you & your family’s loss. I am also sorry for Ronan that he had to suffer and has to be separated from his loving family. The blessing was definitely the almost 4 years you shared your love. The most touching point in reading your loving and beautiful blog is the simplest of truths….. Love, unconditional love, like the love to & from our children is more precious than life itself. No material item is more important, no cause has a higher value, and our children’s love is a gift from God to be treasured always. Not many could share such raw, intimate details of such a difficult ordeal with strangers. Thank you for doing so. Even though it is hard to read about Ronan & your family’s loss it is a beautiful love story. Just like everyone else reading this, I cannot stop crying for you. Anything that takes a child from their family needs attention and support. Cancer should be at the top of the list. I am sending prayers for strength & healing to you. We all have been touched by cancer in some way or another and we all need to do something. I will be following your story, Ronan’s story, from now on. Working together hopefully we will live to see a cure. I believe you have the ability to make things happen. Like you said, Ronan is making all this happen. God Bless you & your family.

    Reply
  425. Christine S

     /  September 17, 2012

    Maya, just wanted to answer a question that you asked in the title of this blog entry: “Where is Ronan?”……Ronan is EVERYWHERE! He’s not just in your heart. Ronan in now in my heart and millions of of people everywhere who never knew him the way you did just because you shared your love story for him in this blog. Thank you for sharing Ronan with the world.

    Reply
  426. Jules

     /  September 17, 2012

    What an incredible, brave, loving and inspiring mother you are. My heart aches for the sadness you and your beautiful family endured and if I could, I would wrap my arms around you and just hug you. I read every word you wrote. Ronan was such a beautiful child and he faced his illness with such bravery and courage. I volunteer at the Cancer Center and drive patients to their appointments and I often talk about him to the patients I drive. His life and his fight, left an impact on me and my own two children. We will NEVER forget Ronan and his beautiful big blue sparkling eyes, like pools of crystal blue water.

    Reply
  427. Lucy

     /  September 17, 2012

    Sorry i just started reading your blog a few days ago. Ronan by Taylor Swift really touched my heart and i’m listening to it every day. I’m so sorry what you have gone through Maya and the Thompson family. FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKING CANCER!!! YOU HAVE RUINED SO MANY LIVES/FAMILY IN THIS WORLD. -______- R.I.P. Ronan Thompson You are remembered always. <3

    Reply
  428. alcris_Philippines

     /  September 17, 2012

    I love you Ronan, I am offering my tears flowing down to my cheeks to you. You are the sweetest kid that ever grace the earth,and we will never forget your story and you as a fighter. We all love you to the moon and Back, And to mama Maya, thanks for sharing Ronan’s story, and your story to the world.

    Reply
  429. Claudia

     /  September 18, 2012

    Oh Maya, no child should die of FUCKING cancer. I always wonder if the pharma companies don’t want to find a cure to Cancer because they make so much money, such a huge business.. Damn cancer. I’m sorry for your pain and let me tell you I have shed so many tears.. I can’t stop reading your blog.. I learned about Ronan when Taylor’s song came out and since then, I’ve been hooked up… I went back to you very first blog and I have been reading non-stop. My husband asks me why I keep readng it? He knows it makes me sad. But I can’t stop and I’m also spreading the word because Peadriatic Cancer kills a lot of children and we never talk about it.. so little money goes to it is’t un real… Ronan’s story has made a better mom, a better person.. I’ve donated to your Foundation and I have also sent money to St Jude’s.. From now on, I swear it to god that I will give to others, I will and will make a difference in this fucking world. Love you Maya, you are a BAD ASS MOM!

    Reply
  430. Julia

     /  September 18, 2012

    After listening to Taylor Swift’s song and crying just listening to it, I wanted to figure out the story of Ronan. After googling it, I came to this website and I have spent hours reading your blogs with tears streaming down my face. I am not one to cry but yours and Ronan’s story is so sad yet inspiring it just made me break down. Ronan by Taylor Swift is my favorite/most listened to song in my iTunes already. I know the words by heart just because they are so touching. I am only fourteen, and I know I cannot understand how you feel but I am still so sorry for your loss and I am looking forward to donating to your cause with money I have saved from cancer lemonade stands, cancer walks, and other fundraisers. Thank you for being so open and sharing your story. I am serious when saying it has changed my life.

    Reply
  431. marty

     /  September 18, 2012

    Hi Maya,
    I know my comment won’t make the difference, anyway one year has come and passed…
    I just want you to know I knew Ronan’s story listening the song Taylor Swift wrote for him…I red about his story, how the cancer took the light in his blue eyes away, and how stong and brave he was. I found your blog, I red so many things, so many diary’s pages, and I started to love you and your story.
    Reading this you made me cry, really, you made me cry like I never did in front of a computer ever. You write very well and I am amazed by your courage, by your way to say “I’ll never stop believeing, I’ll never stop hoping.”
    I’m only 14 but I swear it’s half past midnight (here in Italy) and can’t stop reading (and crying). I’m not like the other girls of my age, I think I’m different, and I want you to know even if I’m a young girl, I’m near you and your family, I will ALWAYS remember Ronan and his smile, even if he wasn’t this good, I saw he smiling, and that made something change.
    Next time I’m gonna feel sad I’ll think about you all, about how big was your problem but how big was your hope, too.
    Thank you for giving me a reason to carry on. This is crazy, but you and your baby gave me that thing to keep living.
    I will remember Ronan for ever + 1 day.
    A little big hug,
    Martina.

    Reply
  432. Melanie

     /  September 18, 2012

    After reading your blog, I cannot imagine the pain that you must have gone through, and are still going through. Your son and your family are a true inspiration of strength and love. Reading how much emotion, love and honesty you have put into your blog for all to read is a remarkable thing and thank-you so much for letting us be part of this. I am so sorry for your loss, Ronan was an amazing little man, and his memory will live on forever. You have given me strength to move through this hard process of cancer myself. I find peace in your words and the ability to move forward even through the sadness and heartache. I wish you and your family all of the greatness in the world as you were truly blessed with an angel who now watches over you and will always be with you.
    Melanie

    Reply
  433. You are an amazing, strong woman. I came upon your story from listening to Taylors song for Ronan. What a brave little man. I am in tears and my heart has broken for you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain and heartbreak you all have endured. If I was in your shoes I don;t know that I could have done all that you did. But on the other hand, maybe I could have. You do all that you can for your children. You did all you could do. And you are still doing!!!! You will always be Ronan’s momma. I have been deeply touched by your story and I thank you for sharing it the way you did. I think people need to be made aware. I will continue to follow your blogs and pray for your family and for the foundation. I think it’s great that he will live on. I hope you are proud, you are doing a good job momma!
    Jenn in Detroit Michigan

    Reply
  434. Makaylla

     /  September 19, 2012

    come on baby with me were gonna fly away from here out of this curtined room of this hospital gray will just dissapper

    Reply
  435. I too, found about Ronan after reading a story about Taylor Swift’s song. I’ve bookmarked the youtube video of her performance of the song, but wanted to learn about her inspiration first. So over the last week now(?), I’ve started from the beginning and now have reached this post. Although I knew the outcome, I swear I read every post thinking, No Way, He’s so strong, She’s (you) such a fighter, maybe I misread that he had passed. I’m so absolutely heartbroken for you, and SO proud of you, your family and your circle of friends. Ronan, his spirit, his beauty, is continuing to live on, and you are all inspiring so many to live more purposeful lives – on a day-to-day basis. My two boys are 3 and 5 – and my 3 year old is the one. He’s the one who doesn’t care what the rules are, what’s seemingly off limits, or what he should be doing. He sets his own path and admittedly, it frustrates me so often. But after reading about Ronan and his similar personality, I have been able to better embrace his spunk, and he is thriving and even being more sweet now (who knew?). I wish that I would have known and been able to pray for Ronan during his flight and supported you, but I can tell you that I’m a fan of his and yours forever now. I’m looking forward to continue reading and learning about your sweet family. All my love and prayers to you!

    Reply
  436. nadia

     /  September 20, 2012

    hi i just found out about this i am 13 and i am impressed that you dealed with it, that you went through it all. i really believe in this quote: ”i learned life from a tree it breaked down but it grew up again”
    i cried alot while reading it. i know that this is the hardest thing in your life.i know that you can never forget this but i don’t know that if you feel as you did before but if you do, you CAN handle it, and i also wanted to thank you, although i am only 13 but i learned alot from you and ronan and his brothers. thank you all.

    Reply
  437. Jasmine Parker

     /  September 21, 2012

    You need to let Ronan’s story be heard to the world.Celebrate his beautiful life,I am so sorry about what happened to Ronan, you and the rest of the family.No one deserves to have this happen to them especially Ronan.I went through almost the same process with my little brother,alex who has Astrocytoma- brain cancer and I just want to say I know how you feel and I am so sorry <3

    Reply
  438. Camila Dagnone

     /  September 22, 2012

    Just cried my eyes out for a good 30 minutes. Rest in peace little Ronan, you are loved by SO many! <3 stay strong!

    Reply
  439. Vickie Forrest

     /  September 22, 2012

    Maya,
    I just read this and tears are streaming. My sincere thoughts are with you and your family and especially your precious Ronan. I lost my husband 4 yrs. this Oct. 23rd to Multiple Myeloma and while he went through 2 stem cell transplants on the floor I saw babies and small children such as your Ronan there and ask why, why. My husband got sick when he was 57 and passed away at 63…even though he wasn’t exactly old he had lived a life and had children. That is why your story is so touching…you lost your 4 year old baby and no child or really anyone deserves to suffer with this horrible thing cancer. I hate all the pharmacutical companies because I know there is a cure for these deseases…if they can put a man on the moon then there is a cure for cancer. It’s all about money. And I too have this hate in my heart because of those things.

    May you find comfort in your twins and your family and friends. Ronan will never be forgotten and I am truly sorry for your pain and loss.
    Vickie Forrest

    Reply
  440. Brooke

     /  September 23, 2012

    Maya, I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much reading this absolutely broke my heart into a million tiny pieces. I’ve just started following your blog, ever since I heard Taylor Swift’s song I’ve wanted to read more about this amazing little boy with the most beautiful blue eyes. I’m just so heartbroken though. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I’m at a loss. I know this is an old blog, but I’ve just gotten started. I am so sorry. I had a sister that passed away from cancer at the age of 8. I was only 2 so I don’t remember anything about her. It hurts me that I don’t remember. I wish I could remember her. I love her and miss her everyday and there’s not a single day that goes by that I don’t think about her. As I’m sure it’s the same with Ronan. Just know how deeply sorry I am. If you EVER want someone to talk to, I’m here. I’m so sorry.

    Reply
  441. Nicole

     /  September 24, 2012

    breaking my heart crying while watching my baby girl Amber who is almost 3 sleep , you and ronan have made me appreciate everything more , my heart really is shredded reading your blog. You and your husband are amazing and i wish you nothing but the best for your future, sleep tight sweet ronan , i didnt know you but i wish i did :'( xxxxxxxx<3

    Reply
  442. aubri howland

     /  September 24, 2012

    It is hard to say anything. I lost my Ally last year..she was almost 4. I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to feel as much pain as I do. I feel yours, but I also feel your love <3 What a beautiful baby boy <3 I KNOW this was not their destiny and I get the comment "now she is in a better place" all the time..thing is, the best place was with me. It wash't her time and it wasn't mine, but when she went, I went. Now I am someone else. I hope this different me is all the things she would want me to be <3

    Reply
  443. I cried the whole way reading through this; cannot possibly begin to imagine how you were able to cope. I am so proud that you’ve picked yourself up and not let it eat you away. My heart goes out to you. Keep up the good work, it’s helping you heal and mos importantly it’s helping Ronan. One day we will find a cure, and one day cancer won’t be able to work anymore.

    Reply
  444. Marlena

     /  September 26, 2012

    “Quand tu regarderas le ciel, la nuit, puisque j’habiterai dans l’une d’elles, puisque je rirai dans l’une d’elles, alors ce sera pour toi comme si riaient toutes les étoiles. Tu auras, toi, des étoiles qui savent rire.”
    – Le petit prince – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
    —————–
    “You – you alone will have the stars as no one else has them… In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night…You – only you – will have stars that can laugh.”
    <3

    Reply
  445. Liza Cheng

     /  September 28, 2012

    I am deeply sorry for all the pain, the loss and anguish you and your family has gone through. Your story has really opened my eyes, my heart and soul. As a mother of 2 young boys myself…I am hugging my boys a little longer, kissing my boys a lot more and letting go of all the little frustrations I would have normally have with my 2 boys.

    I will try my best, but cannot promise anything as of yet….>My husband works in the biotech field, specifically in cancer research. I will talk to him about Neuroblastoma and see if there is a chance his team of scientists and research assistants would study this cancer.

    *BTW: I was turned on to your blog by my cousin, who is a physician. She relocated from CA to AZ with her family and her husband, who is also a doctor. We are moved by your words, raw emotion and no bullshit attitude. We love you and your family.. We love your little boy, Ronan Sean.

    Reply
  446. Hi Maya,

    I’m not sure you even check this entry any more, but I still felt the need to leave a comment here, if only to send one more quiet message of love to Ronan and his memory.

    I heard about you and your family from Taylor Swift’s single, which was such an effective way to spread awareness. You and Taylor and Ronan really made enormous strides that week… I couldn’t go anywhere without seeing Ronan’s story mentioned. It was amazing and I look forward to continue reading these entries to find out how the collaboration came about, but I will miss Ronan, his Star Wars guys, his balloons, his Paul Frank pajamas, “A”, and all the adorable stories from PCH more than anything.

    I can’t even put into words what a fantastic mom you are. Your thoughts all on paper just made me appreciate my own mother even more. Often, as the children, we forget that our mothers are every bit as human as we are, and they have a million thoughts and emotions running through their heads and are not just mama-robots. We tend to take them for granted. Not anymore. I’m not sure how you did it, but all yours and Ronan’s stories have completely changed me for the better– I am much more conscious of my family and their health and our blessings simply from having read this blog and read your countless pleas for us to wake up and be thankful. SO THANK YOU MAYA THOMPSON. You have touched so many lives and I hope all your recent successes in raising awareness have at least given you a tiny glimpse of how much you and Ronan have changed peoples’ lives. Not even in the world of medicine, but in general.

    I could say many more things about you and all the things I’ve felt since starting at Entry 1 and reading up to this point, all the while knowing that Ronan passed away, but I’m sure others before me have put similar emotions more eloquently than I ever could. Your story has inspired me and I will continue on through the next entry, and the next, and the next, because honestly I don’t think I can live without a little dose of Maya every week. Your feisty personality is contagious and your words are addicting! :)

    I send huge hugs to you and your family and your friends. Ronan was an amazing little man and through you, he will get to make a huge difference in the world. I was applying to second-degree nursing programs when I stumbled across your blog, and I hope one day to be a Pediatric Oncology/Hematology nurse— I will proudly fight right along side you and Ronan. God bless.

    XOXOXOX

    Keely

    Reply
  447. Gabriela Costa

     /  September 29, 2012

    i know he is in heaven for a really long time now… but goodbye, my angel ronan. You were the most inspiring person ever, and you didnt even make it to be four years old. I love you with all my heart. Twinkle twinkle, little star.

    Reply
  448. I cried so hard reading this. Just found out about Ronan by listening to Taylor Swifts song. I’m only 18 and can’t only imagine what it feels like to send some piece of his heart to heaven but your are the strongest women i ever heard of. And while reading a lot of your entrys it was like Ronan was even here with me in Germany and I felt so happy having heard about him. It was like he was standing in front of me saying: be happy and rock your life althrough i never truely met him..

    Reply
  449. I attended the Stand Up to Cancer event live on September 7th and watched Taylor Swift perform “Ronan.” It was the most incredible, life changing experience imaginable. I watched her walk off the stage, totally alone, crying, and wiping away her tears as she slowly walked offstage. I was touched, moved, changed…forever.

    I was out in California for a week with my friend Shelley who won Stand Up for Cancer’s photo contest as a survivor, and won two tickets to the event. She brought me along. We flew out the day before and spent a week with my relatives.

    The entire week, I could not get the song, Ronan, and you off my mind. It was all I could think about. Shelley has decided to change her fundraising efforts as a survivor to focus on childhood cancer specifically.

    I want you to know that Ronan’s life, your words, and Taylor Swift’s song have become permanently imprinted on my heart. I am still looking online and reading parts of your blog when I can bear to. How selfish that sounds…when I can bear to witness the pain and suffering that your family and Ronan had to endure.

    Please let us know how we can help with fundraising. I was a professional fundraiser for many years. Shelley wants to focus on raising funds for childhood cancer. You can see her story on SU2C’s FB page (the survivor with the husband who was deployed during her fight with cancer.) We want to help however we can.

    My heart breaks for all of you…yet it sings with gratitude for how you and Ronan have been able to leave such a huge mark on this world, and how it is just the beginning.

    Tracy Will
    tracywill9@yahoo.com
    508-450-6143

    Reply
  450. I really don’t know what to say or think I could ever say anything to help comfort you and your family. But I feel compelled to at least tell you how much your story touches my heart and how absolutely amazing I think you are. I have been sitting here reading your blog crying silent, hard, ugly tears while I try to imagine what you must have gone through and are still going through. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss of your sweet little boy. Having a little boy of my own who is 2 1/2 the thought of losing him brings me to tears all over again. I know I cannot comprehend what you are feeling but I want you to know that you will always be in the my thoughts and prayers. You are an incredible woman to endure so much, to be so passionate for a cause, and to continue to push forward for Ronan’s sake. I don’t think I could ever be half the person you are. But you inspire me to be better and to love my son more fiercely than before. You inspire so many people and I know you will help SO many people through your story. I know you will be able to see your sweet son again, and that you can be with him forever. Thank you for sharing your story as hard it must be to do so. I love you and Ronan forever!

    Reply
  451. megancamille

     /  October 2, 2012

    I really don’t know what to say or think I could ever say anything to help comfort you and your family. But I feel compelled to at least tell you how much your story touches my heart and how absolutely amazing I think you are. I have been sitting here reading your blog crying silent, hard, ugly tears while I try to imagine what you must have gone through and are still going through. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss of your sweet little boy. Having a little boy of my own who is 2 1/2 the thought of losing him brings me to tears all over again. I know I cannot comprehend what you are feeling but I want you to know that you will always be in the my thoughts and prayers. You are an incredible woman to endure so much, to be so passionate for a cause, and to continue to push forward for Ronan’s sake. I don’t think I could ever be half the person you are. But you inspire me to be better and to love my son more fiercely than before. You inspire so many people and I know you will help SO many people through your story. I know you will be able to see your sweet son again, and that you can be with him forever. Thank you for sharing your story as hard it must be to do so. I love you and Ronan forever!

    Reply
  452. Tylar

     /  October 4, 2012

    Maya-
    I’m leaving this comment to you with Ronan’s song on repeat playing in my room. I can’t even begin to imagine the pain that you felt and still feel about his loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family everyday. I think about Ronan a lot. Even though I never met him. He was a beautiful little boy and those eyes, I will never forget. I love you all, I wish you the best.

    xoxo,
    Tylar

    Reply
  453. sgtdemanda

     /  October 7, 2012

    I have never actually sat down and read Ronan’s story. I knew bits and pieces but wanted to honor his memory by reading every entry. Knowing this entry was coming didn’t make it any easier to accept. As I sit here watching my twin 4 year olds play, I question my faith in any higher power existing in this life. It’s not a new train of thought for me. Every young life ended by this brutal monster tears off a little piece of soul.

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful Ronan and your shattered family with me. I will continue to read your entries. Add another “fan” to Ronan’s list and know I am thinking of you all every day.

    Reply
  454. Mackenzie

     /  October 8, 2012

    I started reading this blog last week and I knew this was coming and I told myself to stop reading, but I just couldn’t I fell in love with this beautiful family and with a beautiful little boy I have been full on balling for the last hour reading the posts leading up to this one. Maya you and your wonderful family are the bravest people I know of. I’m not going to tell you any stupid cliches because like you said nobody can tell you how you feel unless they’ve lived through it exactly like you. Your amazing little man should never have been taken from you, especially so young. I applaud you for sharing your horrifying, beautiful, and inspirational tale with all of us it must have taken courage most people could never have. You humble us all and make us realize the scale of our petty problems, but most of all you let us in to your life in the most difficult of times you gave us all a chance to meet your amazing boys. You let us laugh and cry and be pissed of with you. Thank you so very much for being incredible, and real. My heart goes out to you, woody, the boys, and the rest of your angels.

    Reply
  455. Helena

     /  October 10, 2012

    I just started following your blog after hearing the Taylor Swift song… I read every single page… It was so much harder to read it and feel all the strength and conviction you had in the fight for your precious son knowing he wasn’t going to make it… even up to the last “adventure” you planned I believed right along with you. What an inspiration he was and still is to so many people. Thank you for sharing your amazing story.

    Reply
  456. Leslie

     /  October 10, 2012

    I’m so sorry that this happened to you. You and Ronan seemed to have such a special bond. I mean, hey, he was your baby of the three sons. I could read and then feel the love that you had for him, and the equal love that he had back for you! I’m glad that you are keeping his memory alive, and by doing that, helping save someones life!

    I lost my mom to Breast Cancer when I was five, and I’m thirteen now. Reading this made me really upset, and I cried. I still am crying, haha. I can’t remember anything about her, and I feel like a horrible child because sh fought so hard for me to not remember it. Why can’t I remember?

    Reply
  457. Elroy Fischer

     /  October 10, 2012

    To the Thomson Family

    I offer my deepest apologies to your family, having experianced simular circumstances. I lost my wife to cancer when my youngest of six was 3 years old. But your courage and stengths are so helpful and inspiring. Such a very hard thing to live through, But your blogs are so inspiring and helpful in evey way imaginable it just wants me to be a better person for all those around me. Thank you so much for being yourselfs and your selfless acts of sharing and helping others in such beautiful ways. You and Ronan will always be remembered in such a great way. My very best to you all…….Elroy

    Reply
  458. yamilex gonzalez

     /  October 13, 2012

    maya, your story has touched me soo much and im really sorry for your loss. i’am with you in how kids don’t have special treatments for cancer. they should ,ronan should! i think it is so unfair for you to have lost your beautiful baby in order for people to realize that childhood cancer should have more treatments. i’ve never heard of any experience and i hope i don’t for i am only 17 yrs. i’ve read your blogs and ive seen ronan’s videos. his beautiful blue eyes were hypnotizing and his sweet voice filled everyone’s heart. and i know his sweet innocence inspired everyone as well as me! i was reading one of your blogs in which you talked someone wanted to do a purple star tattoo and im wondering what it means. i want to do a tattoo that symbolizes childhood cancer but for it to have a meaning that will make me remember ronan though i don’t really know you all ronan was a beautiful boy and touched my entire heart;even though i wish i would have known him and you all i live too far away im from roma texas which people don’t even know. it acrros the mexican border where its called “the valley”. ronan has traveled all around the world know and even though ive seen him only in videos and pictures i immediatly fell in love with him. i’ve also read your blog named “where’s ronan” i cried the whole time imagining all the pain your family went through and all the terrible pain your little angle when through just because of that horrible beast! i hope you reply to my comment cause i really am curios of the meaning of the purple star and i want a little help of what can symbolize childhood cancer and also ronan for you know him more than anyone. once again im really sorry for you loss and i know you and your foundation will give a change in childhood cancer and never be forgotten.
    with love,
    yamilex gonzalez

    Reply
  459. Ann Liu

     /  October 13, 2012

    I know how it feels to have a family member with cancer. I’ve been there yet I couldn’t possibly start to feel half the sadness you are feeling right now. And I won’t pretend to. I’m really sorry. It’s hard to lose a family member you love so much. Many people might have told you this but you need to live your life to the fullest now. Live not only your share of life, but Ronan’s share too.

    Reply
  460. Lexie Clark

     /  October 15, 2012

    I started reading your blog from the day I heard taylor swifts song about your little boy, I read it from your very first post. I really feel like I got to know you and your family. I’m so so sorry for everything that you’ve been through, my family has gone through way too much with cancer as well and were starting the fight over again. We will find a cure for this horrible disease. We will bring awareness for pediactric cancer and other cancers. Breast cancer is not the only one, its not even the one that kills the most people. Fuck cancer. It will be my life’s goal to make sure we find a cure and raise awareness for more than just breast cancer. I may have a breast cancer ribbon tattooed on my wrist but you best believe ill be fighting for your little boy as well. I did send a donation in over pay pal recently. Not much but it’s something right? I’ve got big plans for Relay for Life this year maya. All for you and your family. Much love love love from all the way from Brantford Ontario Canada (about an hour from Toronto)

    Lexie Clark

    Reply
  461. Cheyenne

     /  October 19, 2012

    I just got done reading this and I was in tears. This week my aunt went for surgery because she has breast cancer and another one of my aunts have it. This week was suppose to be for fun because I was out of school for fall break. I know it’s a little late to be reading this but I wanted to let you know stay strong.

    Reply
  462. Camille

     /  October 20, 2012

    I am so so sorry about Ronan and how you all had to go through that. He didnt deserve to die of childhood cancer, no child does. For my birthday I will get donations from my friends to reaserch childhood cancer. They Will find a cure, maybe not in this life time, but they will. We all loved him and I feel so devistated he passed away. As you said “l loved him to the moon and back.”
    Best of luck, Camille M.

    Reply
  463. You are my hero Maya Thompson. I am not a mom, I’m barely an adult (I’m only 18), but i hope one day I will be a mom too. I have read all your posts up until this one. My heart is breaking for you. Reading everything you wrote, you made me fall in love with this amazing little boy <3 As I said before, I'm not a mom, but I do know how it feels to lose somebody you love with all your heart. Ronan will never die, no doctor, no story, no piece of paper can ever change that. He lives on in every single person that reads your blog, every person who hears the beautiful song Taylor Swift sung for him, and every person who ever sees those bright beautiful blue eyes sparkling in just one of the 1,090,000 photos of him on Google.

    A miracle can't last forever because then it wouldn't be miracle anymore. Ronan Thompson was a perfect miracle for four amazing years, but now he is a legend, a story that will change lives.
    <3 All my love to you and your amazing family <3

    Reply
  464. Katie

     /  October 21, 2012

    I’m a sixteen year old girl and didn’t have time to watch Stand Up For Cancer as I was working. The only part I have watched is Taylor Swift as she is such an inspiration to me anyway. The lyrics of the song made my eyes fill up, and then I heard it was actually based on a four year old boy and was directed here.
    I’ve read your blog and feel the deepest sympathy for you. I have never experienced death before, but knowing that Ronan’s story has touched me and millions of others out there is amazing. I’m going to help spread this story as much as I can to make people aware.
    Ronan was a lucky boy to have a family like yours, and be so supportive to him. We will find a cure soon. It won’t be sudden, but I’m going to try to raise as much awareness for you and try and get as many people donating.
    Lots of love, Katie!xoxo

    Reply
  465. Samantha

     /  October 22, 2012

    why

    Reply
  466. Reblogged this on The Kit-Kat Sisters and commented:
    No words needed… <3

    Reply
  467. I am so very sorry about your loss. May God be with you forever and always .You had the most beautiful boy. My dad is a doctor looking for cures to childhood cancer. Someday we will find what we are looking for.<3 xoxo

    R.I.P
    Ronan

    Reply
  468. Taylor

     /  October 25, 2012

    I just cried so hard and I really wish that I could have done something to save Ronan because my heart is broken and I never even met your amazing baby boy but I know he is with u and in everyone he has ever touched as my own and this was the most beautiful story I have ever heard. One of the girls that used to go to my high school has a three year old baby who is suffering from stage 4 cancer and her name is Maliyah. If you want more info about here shoot me and email @tmazeski@gmail.com

    Reply
  469. Annie

     /  October 26, 2012

    I read The Fault in Our Stars, a book about cancer and just how unfair fate is. I cried because I didn’t understand how life is so fragile and how in one moment, it can be taken away forever. And then, I heard about Ronan through Taylor Swift’s song, a real story about how freaking unfair cancer is. I’m so sorry that you had to lose such a beautiful baby boy. Although I didn’t know Ronan, I fell in love with him through the mere posts you made. It’s not fair that such a young and innocent child had his life taken away from him. Yet through it all, he managed to still be happy and live his life out to the fullest.
    It made me reflect on my life right now. Why am I worrying about these petty little things? Complaining about everything? This poor boy didn’t even get a chance to enter school. If he were here in my place, he would be shining. No matter what, he would just be shining and like a light, he would guide everyone out of the darkness of naivety. Most people don’t even know about childhood cancer.
    I have decided that I’m going to change. I’m going to make a difference.
    I won’t let his legacy be forgotten. Not only Ronan, but all the other poor children with cancer out there.Prayers to them and everyone who didn’t get a chance at the best gift in the world- life.
    I promise I’ll make up for their loss and change.
    My heart goes out to your family. It’s completely not fair for cancer to take lives of children, especially ones as young as yours. Thank you for sharing your story. I pray for Ronan always. <3 Annie

    Reply
  470. Huda M.

     /  October 31, 2012

    I just read this blog. And even though i am a year late, i respect you, your family, and most of all Ronan. This has inspired me to be an oncologist, especially for children. i am 17 years old and cannot wait to be a surgeon and save lives. I felt everything you went through that day, and i cried so much. you are such a strong woman, you remind me of my mother when i was diagnosed with ulcertive colitis. that is a stomach disease in my intestines. and although it isnt cancer, it was still a disease that put my family through so much. i support you in everything you do, and you and Ronan will be a factor in everything i choose to do in my future career. trust me, i will try my BEST to find a cure for childrens cancer.. and Ronan will be my inspiration every step of the way. some day. xoxo

    Reply
  471. Bella

     /  November 1, 2012

    “Come on, baby, with me, we’re gonna fly away…From here”
    Forever young now you sweet, brave little boy. I don’t know you baby, but if I did, I’d hold you real tight. You’re flying through the stars now, little guy…And moonlight is your Gigi.
    I love you. RIP

    Reply
  472. destiny blatchley

     /  November 10, 2012

    I am sooo sorry u had to go threw this!! :,( i was crying as i read it. Ur little boy will always be in your heart. So sad that he was only here for 4 years. I wish it would have been longer:,(.

    Reply
  473. Amy J.

     /  December 12, 2012

    I’ve tried to leave a comment here for you several times, Maya. I don’t know if this is the one that I’ll actually hit “post” on. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. Cancer is a horrible, horrific disease and it breaks my heart that so many families experience it. I will remember Ronan forever. He’ll live in my memories along with my amazing nephew Justin, who died an impossible 5+ years ago of pontine glioma, another form of cancer. It’s so unfair. Thank you for sharing your boy with so many people. Thank you for loving him so fiercely. I wish I could give you a huge hug.

    Reply
  474. Meg

     /  January 15, 2013

    Why did it have to be little Ronan? We will always miss you Ronan.

    Reply
    • Meg

       /  January 24, 2013

      I’ve had many family members pass away from cancer.2 of
      them just last year.it sucks nobody should have to go throw
      that.one of my family member passed away just today.CANCER
      SUCKS.

      Reply
  475. Ronan. I know it shouldn’t be your job because you should
    still be here being a kid, going to school, laughing and playin,
    but please take care of your mommy, daddy, amazing brothers and
    your tiny little sister. I’m so thankfull I got to know your story,
    but I wish I didn’t because that would mean you would still be here
    with you mom anf family. Hope it’s nice where you are… (Last
    kiss. Taylor Swift)

    Reply
  476. You are so trong, your little boy is looking down so proud of you. He’s with the angels sleep tight Ronan xxx

    Reply
  477. This is beyond beautiful. Congrats on being such an amazing mom. Ronan surely is in a better place and taking care of you all.
    Ronan, you are one loved angel! <3

    Reply
  478. Jen

     /  March 16, 2013

    I just started reading your blog a few months ago, after hearing Taylor Swift’s song about Ronan. I found your blog and was instantly hooked. Even though I already knew he had passed away. I always wanted to think that maybe it wasn’t true, that maybe it was just a song. But when I read more and more of what you wrote, my heart broke into a million pieces. I hope that I will never know the pain and torture that you went through. I wish that no one ever had to know that sort of pain. As I read this post I cried harder and harder. I can’t believe that there is no cure, that were was no happy ending for such an amazing and beautiful little boy. When I first started reading this I never thought that I would fall in love with him and his beautiful big blue eyes, but I did. He had a light in his eyes that made me believe that he really couldn’t be gone. I know now that you don’t need to meet someone to fall in love that just reading about them and all they went through and starting to hope that none of it was true. I hope that me posting this doesn’t open any wounds that have started to heal as I can’t imagine that will ever be healed. I still wish it was all just a story, like a horror movie or something along them lines, but I know that it isn’t. I know as I read one of the first blogs that I will never think if a stomach ache as a stomached anymore.

    Reply
  479. Dear Maya, I can’t say how sorry I feel for you as Ronan’s Mum and the other parts of your family. I just saw your story this morning on TV, you gotta know I’m from Germany and the story just came here because of Taylor Swifts Song for Ronan. I cried so many tears reading your text, I barely breath, this is so hearttouching and I won’t imagine how you feel in a thousand years. There’s nothing worse than loosing a child. I wish you and your family (especially with your daughter in a few weeks!) the best luck and that you can remember Ronan with a smile on your face, I’m sure you’ll never forget him.
    God bless you and your family!
    Vivien (20, from Germany)

    Reply
  480. my wife and I

    had a stillborn boy

    we held him

    named him

    a crib beside us

    a night in a hospital room

    ~

    we’ll still never know

    understand

    your pain

    ~

    but we do know

    the insensitivities of ignorant

    “well-meaning” remarks

    ~

    I’m hurt

    saddened by

    your immense loss

    of Ronan

    ~

    my family

    is sending compassionate

    loving thoughts

    your way

    ~

    take care Maya

    Reply
  481. Caro

     /  April 11, 2013

    Oh, Maya, I’m so, so sorry. I know that sounds like something people just say, but it’s truly. I am bawling my eyes out.

    Everything you just said is exactly like losing my dog and my cat. That may sound stupid to some, but I’m a single and childless kid, so my pets are the loves of my life. If the pain you feel is even a fraction of the pain I still feel (and I know it’s much, much more than that), then my heart aches for you. It’s not fair that we lose the ones we love. You may disagree with this and not get any comfort from this, but I believe in heaven and I believe you’ll see Ronan again someday.

    Ronan was so beautiful. I didn’t know it was possible to have eyes that big or that blue. He sounded so precious, too. He will never be forgotten.

    -Caro

    PS: Congratulations on the daughter! Poppy is such a cute name!

    Reply
  482. Gaby

     /  April 25, 2013

    I love you Ronan, goodnight kiddo.

    Reply
  483. Emily

     /  May 16, 2013

    Oh maya… I know it’s been two years since this…day…I don’t even have the words to describe it. You are phenomenal. Incredible. You gave this everything you had and then some. This is the most beautiful, inspiring story I have ever read. I’m 14 years old, and laying in my bed with tears streaming down my face. The amazing way in which you tell your story hit me hard. I can’t ever feel what you feel, but I recognize the pain that went into typing each individual letter through the tears. You have done something so powerful, by sharing Ronan’s story with the world. I promise as soon as I’m old enough for a credit card I will make a donation and support all this goodness. You are a fountain of goodness…I can tell by every word you wrote. Thank you for brightening this world with your dedication and your smile. I will remember Ronan with you for the rest of my life. His story hit home- you can’t take ANYTHING for granted. Nothing. “Come on baby with me, we’re gonna fly away from here….”

    Reply
  484. Pam

     /  May 17, 2013

    I just started following your blog after reading an article in Parents magazine and I just want to say that I am truly sorry about your loss, i am sitting here just crying my eyes out and i truly cant imagine losing a kid . you are so brave and Inspirational….. Keep up the fight against cancer !!!

    Reply
  485. Meg

     /  July 25, 2013

    Every time i read this post i cry i still dont understand why this happens to innocent people like ronan

    Reply
  486. Bethy

     /  October 27, 2013

    I am so sorry. This did not happen for a reason. There is no reason for a beautiful young fighter to be taken away. There is no reason. I am so sorry.

    Reply
  487. childhood cancer awareness

     /  March 19, 2014

    I am so sorry. Ronan and your family did not deserve any of this. he was only three and SO beautiful. I’m sorry. I don’t think I would be as strong as you if this happened to me. You are so strong

    Reply
  488. I cannot believe it’s been three long years.

    Your writing reminds me of why childhood cancer is so fucked up. It reminds me of why I became a physician.

    Please don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.

    Oh and fuck cancer. Seriously.

    – L

    Reply
  489. K

     /  August 10, 2014

    Hi Maya
    I stumbled across your Instagram. Then 5 hours later, I had read your whole story. I cried. A lot.
    I’m so very sorry.
    Just know that you made me look differently at my life. I have three children. 21, 16, 4. I am 42 and I don’t want anymore kids. I had the conversation with my husband. We agreed; I’ll get tubal ligatation.
    Flash forward, I’m pregnant. I was disappointed when I found out. But …… after spending hours with you, your family, Ronan and the twins, and poppy, I will embrace the gift I’ve been given.
    Thank you for writing. For being so honest and raw. For being angry and sad. I love you. I don’t know you, but I love you.

    Reply
  1. “he’s with Jesus now” SHUT THE FUCK UP | shrinksarentcheap
  2. washing what’s dead | Susan Daniels Poetry
  3. Where is Ronan? | behind my misty eyes

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    Yeah, sometimes the kindness of strangers leaves me sobbing at the post office for 20 minutes before I can drive away... #ronan #fucancer #thankfulforthekindnessofstrangers #rolove #thankyouforbeingbetterbecauseofhim #imissmyspicymonkey This makes me sooooo happy. Can't wait to get home!!! @lynnstephens @quinn.thompson24 #ronan #fucancer #nosunshineallowed #becauseitswinter #imisswashington #movemeback @mommaozzzzz Somebody in this house must really love this dog to have covered him up with a blanket. Something tells me this was @quinn.thompson24. Sweet boy. Sweet Teddy. G'nite, world. #ronan #fucancer #nicestboysever #luckymama #missyouro #pearldidnotdothis
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