Hoping for a quiet weekend at home with a whole lot of nothing going on. As of now, our plan is that Woody and I will be flying out to Philadelphia on Tuesday with Ronan. We will meet with Dr. Mosse at CHOP, and we are talking about making the drive to New York to meet with Dr. Kushner once again. We are going into CHOP with an open mind and are hoping they can give us some answers as to why we should choose them with the life of our son. I have no doubt they are qualified, but as I have said in the past, there is something about Dr. Kushner that I trust wholeheartedly. I feel the same way about him that I feel about Dr. Adams — complete trust, and as if they are the best at what they do. Maybe I will get this feeling from Dr. Mosse as well. It is worth a shot, and it is an option we have to explore. Ronan still seems to be feeling well, and his ANC counts were 1600 today, which is great news. Hopefully they will continue to stay this high so flying next week won’t be a problem. We will go to the clinic on Monday to have his levels checked again, and I am pretty sure they will end up giving him a blood transfusion for the trip. Praying that he stays well so we can get him out to Philly and New York and find the answers we are looking for.
I am so tired tonight. Ronan is asleep next to me, and I am not going to have any trouble curling up beside him and falling asleep. I have been sleeping better lately but am still having very real dreams. It is so strange how my dreams and reality are pretty much the same now. My dreams at night are all about what we are going through and the choices we are going to have to make. I’ve said before that I never get a break from what we are going through — not even in my sleep. Maybe that is why I’m so exhausted during the day. No matter how hard I try, I cannot escape, even for a second, what we are up against. I’m okay with this. It just means I know my entire body, spirit, and mind are fighting 24 hours a day for Ronan. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am his mama bear. I will fight for the rest of my life for him.
That is all for tonight. Hope you all have a beautiful weekend. G’night to all of my loves out there — you know who you are. I love you all so much.
xoxo
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