Today was actually a wonderful day. Wonderful as in we only had to go to the clinic for the standard blood tests and to have Ronan’s broviac dressing changed. We got to see our favorite nurse, Sharon, which is always a treat. Ronan told me today that she is his favorite person to see at the clinic. So sweet he is. This morning he woke me up at 7 a.m. on the dot demanding scrambled eggs, pronto! I tried my best to put him off as I was so cozy in bed but he wasn’t having it. I got up, made him his eggs, and got Quinn ready for school. Liam is still at Mimi and Papa’s due to not feeling well. After Quinny got off to school, I spent the rest of the morning cooking for Ronan and making him food about every half an hour. He is constantly hungry which is a very good thing, but leaves me exhausted and I don’t get much else done around the house. We headed out to PCH and had a chance to talk to Dr. Eshun about Ronan’s scans. He overall seemed pleased with everything but does not want to give us any concrete statistics until we get the MIBG scan done. This will be the most telling of all of the scans. Thursday cannot get here soon enough. After the clinic visit, Ronan was begging me to take him to Chelsea’s Kitchen for lunch. We met Woody there and watched as Ronan chowed down some of Woody’s French Dip, french fries, and his Grilled Cheese Sandwich. I had my favorite, the Ahi Tuna Tacos. Most amazing things ever. I could never get tired of that place. Ronan was happy to be out with his mom and dad and it was a gorgeous day spent with a gorgeous boy who is feeling wonderful. You have no idea what it does to my heart to see him so happy and carefree. Forget the fact that his life has been overtaken by cancer; today none of that mattered. Quinn came home from school and cousin Luke came over for a couple hours to play. The boys played baseball outside and ran around like crazy. I felt like a normal mom for a minute… making them after school snacks, helping with homework, doing laundry, and getting to hear all about Quinn and Luke’s day at school. It’s days like today that the cancer cloud that hangs over my head disappears for just a short amount of time. It is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I made the boys’ dinner and as soon as Woody got home, I headed out to my gym to get in a quick workout. I’d better try to get in as much exercise as possible before transplant starts because I know once that starts, all of my workouts are going to be gone for awhile. Not looking forward to that but I will just have to suck it up and keep telling myself that this isn’t forever. Soon we will have Ronan back and our lives will return to being somewhat the same; but with much more appreciation for anything and everything that comes our way. After going through something like this, the little things are going to seem so less in our life and we have learned what truly matters. I am grateful in a way for this lesson and I have all the faith in the world that Ronan was put here on this earth to teach us these things and to help us change the world. He has such a special journey planned for all of us and we are going to follow his lead. I have learned to just go with my gut feeling with most everything in my life and it always turns out right. I will follow Ronan to the end of the earth and back and feel so lucky to do so. He is the most amazing little boy. Never in my life have I known someone so strong, brave and beautiful and he is all of this at only the age of 3. Just imagine what he is going to be like as an adult. I cannot wait to see what life has in store for him.
I have learned that my days now are filled with both sadness and beauty. I am o.k. with that because I try so hard to make sure the beauty outweighs the sadness. Maybe Ronan was born such a beautiful boy for this purpose… because this has always been what his journey in life was meant to be and being so beautiful, would help me get through this?? Never has a more beautiful boy existed and I am not just saying this because I am his mother. I am not biased, this is the truth and I now know it was for a very special reason. All I have to do when I am feeling too sad or scared is look into his big blue eyes and my fears melt away. The look in his eyes tells me over and over that he is going to be fine. I truly believe that with every part of my mind, body, and soul. Everyday, I am finding things I am thankful for and it reminds me how precious life on this earth is. Ronan is a gift and I am so happy I get to share him all with you.
That is all for tonight. I am going to hot yoga with Stacy at 5:30 a.m. in the morning. Told you I’m taking full advantage of my freedom and what better way to start my morning than drenched in sweat and tears. Love you all my dear friends. Sweet dreams of peace and happiness.
xoxo
Love my name
Love left dry
Frost or flame
Skeleton me
Fall asleep
Spin the sky
Skeleton me
Love, don’t cry
Love, don’t cry
Love, don’t cry
Skeleton me
Skeleton me
Soon comes rain
Dry your eyes
Frost or flame
Skeleton me
Fall asleep
Spin the sky
Skeleton me
Love, don’t cry
Love, don’t cry
Love, don’t cry
Skeleton me
Skeleton me
Skeleton me
ROCKSTAR RONAN 
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