I had a good talk with my mama today. I know I don’t mention her on this blog often enough and I’m not sure why. Every source of strength, hard work, compassion, and love that I have inside me as a person, I got from my mom. You want to know why and how I am such a good mom? It’s because of her. She raised me to always make the best of things, always give people the benefit of the doubt, and that your family comes first. She is the hardest working woman who never asks for a thing; but is always there to help others. I picture her in my head at least a few times a day, working in her butt off in her cafe, all while supporting us and what we are going through by talking about us, thinking about us, and loving us. She eats breathes and sleeps for my brother and I; and for her Grandbabies. I couldn’t ask for a better mom and it breaks my heart that she is there and I am here; especially when I can tell in her voice that she wants nothing more to be a daily part of being here and helping in any way she can. When I am having a hard day, or I am feeling sorry for myself, I often think of my mom and how strong she is. It helps me to pick myself back up and move on while thinking about all of the positive things that are surrounding us right now. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for my mom. I cannot wait until the summer when Ronan is in remission and we can do what we do every summer which is spend some time in Washington with my family. It is one of the things my boys look forward to most in life. Our summers in Washington are magical, innocent, and pure. There is nothing like watching the simplicity that comes from my boys spending time with my mom and Jim.
My mom knows that sometimes I am not so good with words and expressing how I feel to her, but I feel like after going through this, it is becoming easier for me. My mom also knows when I don’t have the words; not to ask or push me. She knows when the I need her most, I will ask. She is silently walking through this with me and respecting my boundaries which is something that I really need right now. So even though I don’t say it enough; I love my mom very much and am thankful for her everyday of my life.
Today was a quiet day around here. I swear I went into a sleep coma for about 3 hours. It was a combo of staying up way too late last night and being wiped out from the hospital. I feel like I got caught up on a little sleep which is always nice. We spent the rest of the day watching football and playing outside. I even went for about a 4 mile run. It was so cool and perfect out tonight and I am happy that running is finding it’s way back into my heart. It was just what I needed tonight. Ronan has been running around like crazy, wrestling with his brothers and just enjoying being a 3 year old. I spent about an hour on the top bunk of Liam’s bed tonight just reading to all 3 of my boys. Then Quinn read a couple of books to us. It was priceless and some very special time together that we all needed. Ronan seems to be feeling well but I know next week is going to be when his levels drop. He is usually wiped out after day 13 of being done with his chemo treatments. Today is day only day 6. They say the chemo hits them the hardest 7-14 days from the time you start it. We go to the clinic Monday and Thursday and I will be keeping a close eye on him. Hopefully we won’t have another bloody nose disaster.
I hope you all have a blessed weekend full of laughter and love. Squeeze your babes extra tight<3 Goodnight, friends.