I never fall asleep without thinking of you all




I just want to take a minute on here and say thank you to all of you. After being away for the summer, I came home to piles and piles of mail, gifts for Poppy, checks for the foundation, and I even got glitter bombed after opening up a box. You all make me smile, laugh, and cry on a daily basis and although I can’t write each and every one of you thank you’s… please know that I am doing it here, and I say thank you to you all about 100 times a day in my head.

There are so many amazing things going on. If you have a second, please read about what the amazing Jim Fry is doing below.


If you have the means, please donate to his fundraiser. Every little cent helps. If you don’t have the means, please spread the word for us. What Jim is doing is inspiring and so moving. Even with all of his determination, he knows it is nothing compared to what these kids go through and that is the most moving thing of all.

I feel a movement happening in the world. One that I am so touched by. I’ve literally received thousands and thousands of emails and letters from not only adults everywhere, but kids as well. Kids who I swear are going to change this world of pediatric cancer. They are holding fundraisers for Ronan, starting clubs at their schools, writing reports about the lack of awareness out there, doing amazing school projects about Ronan’s foundation, writing songs for him, doing their birthday parties and instead of gifts they are asking for donations instead, etc…. I live for the youth of America. I live for these kids who are going to grow up to do amazing things all because of a little boy they learned about because he will never get the chance.  And they know that is so wrong and how it could happen to anyone; even them. They aren’t scared and running the other way. They are being proactive about this very broken world and to me, the mother of a child who died from this… that means everything.

I got sent a little poem from a 13-year-old girl named Eugenia. She had a class assignment and it was to describe a room and explain how the objects in the room say things about the person living in it. She chose to do it about my bedroom. The poem is below.

The light on at night illuminates how she doesn’t sleep well thinking about how she feels it’s her fault

The athletic shoes next to the door jog the idea that she runs to clear her mind

The pictures of her son all over the room visualize how they were close and that she misses him like crazy

His little bald head in the photos discloses that his life was a hard one even though it was short

His toys on the floor play out his innocence; how he was taken too young at 3 years old

The boxes of tissues whisper about how she spends every day crying over him

The spot on her bed between her and her husband portrays that he would sleep in their bed

The urn on her night stand murmurs that they keep him close and never let him go

The necklace around her neck filled with some of his ashes witnesses how she needs to keep him close to survive

The letters of apologies opened and unopened spell out how many loved ones he had

The bracelets with his name on them tie up the fact that they are trying to spread the word of this horrible disease

The computer on the floor next to the bed reminds us how she needs her blog to express her emotions of grief and pain and tell his story 

The sonogram under the pillow wet with tears of joy and despair portraits how her new baby will be a girl; he always said he wanted a little sister

The deep sad look in her eyes sends the message to us that even on the happiest of days she will always be sad because her life is incomplete without him.

 For Maya and Ro. Always for Ro.



This 13-year-old gets me better than most adults. As I read the words above, the tears just poured to the floor. I thought it was so heartfelt and beautiful. I am so moved by this younger generation of kids and the way they are helping move these mountains. Thank you, E. Don’t let anyone every dull your sparkle;) You are making this world a better place.

I’ve got to run now and work on this book.

I hope you all are well and please know that I know, that I would not be where I am today, without you. Thank you for helping me to fight for my little boy so much so that his name will never get lost.



21 thoughts on “I never fall asleep without thinking of you all”

  1. That poem was beautiful. ❤

    I'm sure I can speak for everyone else here by saying, we're in your corner, Maya. We'll stay in your corner even after the pediatric cancer has become as recognized as Amanda Bynes going crazy. We won't stop fighting until there is a definite cure and these children are able to be children…and even after a cure is found, we'll continue to fight to make sure that children with cancer everywhere are able to be treated in a proper manner. (treatments, bills, proper funding, etc.)
    I know for a fact, that I won't stop raising awareness, and because of how amazing Rolovies and those in Maya's Mafia are, I know I won't be alone in that. We won't stop fighting, we won't give up. Once a Rolovie, always a Rolovie. We'll do it it for Ro, and all of the other children that are fighting this battle, and for all of those beautiful souls who have lost theirs. It's time to stand up to cancer.


  2. I am just a human & a Mother of 3 that you will never know… an unimportant person in your daily World but I pray for you guys all the time & am re- thinking how my family donates to children’s charities.
    God bless you

  3. Amazing,
    Eugenie you are amazing! Maya you are inspriational. I hope your heart mends in your lifetime. Yoy are such a warrior. Kiss that Poppy girl for us xoxo

  4. That was such a Lovely own made me shed tears what an amazing young girl she truly is. Thank you so much for sharing and god bless u Maya you are such an Amazing Lady god bless you!!

  5. Beautiful!! That poem is breathtaking, especially from such a young girl 🙂

    Does anyone know where to send a little something I have for Maya? Thanks!

  6. Dear Maya
    Every so often I am pleasantly surprised by the kindness that is out there in the world. What a sweet poem, by a young girl. Just think what she will accomplish as an adult. I can never get through any of your post dry eyed….more so now since I’m pregnant.
    I see a change coming…..to the world of pediatric cancer. And it’s all because of you and Ronan!!! All because of your love story.
    I’m just so sorry you had to experience this in order to make the world see that a chance was so desperately needed.
    Thank you from one mother to another.
    I would love for your Gold Party to make its way to NYC.

  7. What a beautiful poem – sad yet touching! I miss your blog posts can’t wait for the book.

    Love from Ireland x

  8. Such an amazing poem and perfect way to descibe everything. Maya, you have opened my eyes and my heart breaks for all of the children and families of the world who have been affected by this terrible disease. I never knew how much I could be affected and love people I had never met. Your story and family will forever be in my heart.

  9. Thank You Maya i have made a page for Ronan on fb its called R.I.P Rockstar Ronan and i hope you go like it and share it with all your God bless you and we all love you to the moon and back

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