You were absolutely, my best four years.

Ronan. Yesterday, it was 16 months without you. It seems like 16 years. I meant to write, but I was so wiped out that I could not even form a thought or hold my head up for that matter. Due to this little Poppy growing in my tummy, I have been spending a lot of time with my head in the toilet bowl. So much has happened. I’ll go back to Thursday I suppose. It had been a whole week since I had been keeping the Taylor secret. I was proud of myself for doing such a good job. I was on the phone with one of her people, that has been so kindly guiding me through all of this. I was sitting on our bathroom floor, next to my bathtub where I used to love to bathe you. I said to Taylor’s friend, “I have so many questions, but do you know what the biggest one is? I don’t even know the name of the song. Can you tell it to me?” He paused for a minute. “I can tell it to you, but I’m just going to make you cry more.” “Hit me with it,” I said. “I’m ready.” It was quiet for a few more seconds. “Ronan,” he said. I think I blacked out for a few seconds. I was not prepared for that answer. “What?” I whispered? “She named the song, Ronan?” “She did,” he said to me. Once again, I went into shock. She could have named the song anything. But she didn’t. This was the ultimate tribute to you. I hung up after a few more minutes, the tears pouring down my cheeks still. I emailed my board members and it went a little something like this.

Subject: I know the name of the song…


That’s all I said. The phone calls came next. I picked up for Stacy. She was in the middle of a meeting and had to get up and leave, due to the snot pouring of our her nose. I don’t think we said much at first, we just listened to each other cry. When words were formed, it went a little something like, “I can’t believe she did that. But of course she did that, because it is perfect and pure and heartfelt, just like everything else this girl does. But I still cannot believe she named the song after him. Everyone is going to know his name.” We sat in silence for a few more minutes as we were both crying so hard we couldn’t compose ourselves enough to even talk. I drove to your daddy’s office to sit with him about this. We both were a teary eyed mess. This was Thursday. It was a lot to take in and a lot to wrap my head around. I fell asleep that night so exhausted from all the crying, but I only slept for a few hours. I was woken up by a text message around 3:45 a.m. Katie sent me a text saying, “I think the story has leaked.” Her text message included a picture of an online story with the name of Taylor’s new song, “Ronan.” I jumped out of bed. “Shit!” I didn’t know if this was the way this was supposed to play out. My phone started blowing up with text messages and phone calls. I tried to remain calm. Focus. Deep breaths. It’s Friday. Taylor’s song is on tonight. You have a big day ahead of you. Shower. Get boys up. Make breakfast. Boys off to school like it is just another normal day, not a totally insane is this really happening day. House is quiet. Heather stopped by. Mandy Bee stopped by too. Did I forget to mention it started pouring down rain earlier in the morning? Not just a slight drizzle, but buckets of rain as if the sky had opened up. I went out and danced in the rain for you and blew kisses up to the sky. I know the rain was from you. It always is. The weather peeps on TV were so puzzled by this downpour. I felt like calling them up and saying, “Hello, it’s just my son, Ronan, crying his thousands of tears for me, on this very emotional day. He always does this for me, on the days I need it the most because he knows the rain makes me smile.” I was sitting there, watching the rain, when Fernanda showed up.

I opened the door, flew into her arms, and nuzzled into her neck, the way I used to do with you. I always do this to her. We held each other for a few minutes and both cried. We talked all about the rain and how it is proof that you are right here with us. Always. My keeper of the best rainy days that exist on the days that I need them most. After that, it was operation get Maya the fuck out of the house, because here comes the media. I was swept off like a fugitive to a secret location so we could deal with the storm that was headed our way. And I’m not just talking about the weather. The rest of the day was spent dealing with phone calls, website stuff, emails, all while we watched the rain continue to pour down. I was running off a few hours of sleep, not to mention Poppy had sucked all the life out of me as well, but I just rolled through my exhaustion into the Taylor Swift night. We gathered with some close friends, huddled around some TV’s to watch Taylor’s performance. Everyone was crying, before Taylor even took the stage, to sing. I sat close to your daddy, gripping his hand for dear life. I watched as Taylor came on the screen. I had a moment of panic wash over me. “No, no, no. I’m not ready for this.” I took a deep breath. I looked at your daddy, his eyes were already watering. I think I left my body at this point. I couldn’t even focus on the words that were coming out of Taylor’s mouth. All I could see was the raw emotion, sadness, beauty, and pain that filled her face. She looked like an angel. At this point, I’m pretty sure I had snot dripping down my face and my mascara had completely washed off, leaving black streaks running down my cheeks. The song ended. I was frozen. I looked at Taylor’s eyes on that screen. She gets this in a way that so many others do not. Her eyes burned into my soul and it was if I could feel every ounce of emotion that she was displaying on T.V. and she could feel mine. I looked at your daddy and said, “Was the song good?” I was so removed from myself at this point and distracted by the way Taylor looked, singing our words, that I couldn’t even form an opinion. I shouldn’t even have asked the question because it was obvious from looking around the room that the song was not only good, but it was absolute perfection, in the purest form possible. I somehow made it through the next hour. It was time to go and I got into the car with your daddy and brothers. We drove off to get food as we were all starving. We took my iPhone and put Taylor’s song on in the car, to listen to it once again, as a family. I held your daddy’s hand as I listened to Taylor’s words. I looked out the window. It had started raining again. Of course it had. The rain matched the tears that were once again, pouring down my cheeks, perfectly. Those lyrics. My words. She got them so perfectly right. Every single little detail about your life and your death. The way she portrayed my grieving, broken heart. “Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say…” All the little details, meant so much to me. She was the one meant to sing your song. Nobody else, could have made it complete and utter magic while filling it with such raw sadness and beauty. I truly believe you picked her to do this, Ronan. There is a reason she could not forget about you and your big blue eyes, that is beyond just Taylor and myself. I truly believe this is all you and Taylor listening to heart, which has turned this song into what I think, is the best song of her life. I am so moved by her and the vulnerability she displayed while singing this song. That took it to an entirely different level for me.

We all went to dinner, like the perfect little family I know we look like. The perfect little family with the biggest piece of the puzzle missing that the strangers in the restaurant cannot see. I wonder how they do not see the blatant pain on all of our faces that always seem to be there. I always feel like I am walking around with one of my arms chopped off. You know I have a hard time sitting in restaurants now. I try my hardest to tune out the conversations around us. Lots of people complaining about things that I will never complain about again. Lots of laugher fills the room, but it’s not coming from our table. Our table is one of sadness, with moments of smiles here and there, moments of talking about you and what an awesome little basketball player you would have been this year. Tears fall. I wipe them away before your brothers see. Thoughts of Taylor fill my head and the gift of eternal life she has just given to us, fill me with a bittersweet calmness that I’m not used to feeling anymore. That is the gift she has given to us. A way to keep you alive in the hearts of millions, that I would have never been able to reach. She is giving so many, the gift of you and our story, that is so worthy of knowing. The story of true love and how powerful it can be when it comes from such a pure place. How good things can come from the worst thing imaginable happening if one chooses to gather strength from it, instead of letting it destroy them like it can so easily do. I wonder what the people reading this on here, are thinking. The one’s who gave up on me during my darkest hours. The one’s who told me things like this story was like watching a bad car accident, but they couldn’t look away. The one’s that told me I was a train wreck waiting to happen. The one’s that told me they couldn’t wait for the day your daddy came to his senses and up and left me, due to all the awful things they thought I was doing, which was being open and honest about how painful it is to try to get through something like this. The one’s who told me my heart was ugly, black and broken and how it would never heal. The one’s who told me I was not going to do anything with this because I am a selfish person. The one’s who told me they could not longer support you or me, due to the nature of all of this. I wonder if this story, now makes them cry because of how it’s changed shape and form and is turning into something so beautiful right in front of their very eyes. I hope this story has changed their hearts. I hope this story opens their eyes to some very important things, like how just having simple compassion for human beings who are hurting so badly from the worst pain imaginable, can go such a very long way. It’s one of the reasons I am still here and continue to fight this fight. Because of the compassion and love that fills my life in the form of friends, family, strangers, and now Taylor. That Taylor Swift believes in us so much, she wrote a song just for you. To me, that tells me what I am doing is right. That by listening to my heart in this journey, there are no limits to how far this can take us. To the moon and back, right Ro? I have big plans for us. The biggest. Thanks for never letting go of my hand. I love you so much, little man.

I must go. I am beyond beat. I spent most of the weekend lying low for all the beautiful things that I know are going to keep me busy in the weeks to come. I had a date with Liam on Saturday. He is the sweetest. What kind of 9-year-old, knows to open his mama’s car door for her, when she is getting in the driver’s seat after a movie date? The kind of 9-year-old that has a daddy like yours. The best. I missed you so much when he did that for me. It made me so sad to know that is something you will never do. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe. Sweet dreams, baby doll


190 responses to “You were absolutely, my best four years.”

  1. If I feel emotionally exhausted from all this, I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. This blog…you and Ronan…it’s just changed my life. I could never understand the negative comments people would leave on here. All I wanted to do was to reach out to you and let you know that it’s okay…it’s okay to say how you feel and to share the with the world. It’s a beautiful thing that you have done…to share this love that I can’t even begin to fathom, with the world. I’m so glad you never listened to those people’s comments – we knew you were destined for great things. Without anyone but yourself, you had 2 million hits on your blog. That’s amazing in itself. This was just the right time for your story to come out…because you have started to find your way in this fucked up world without Ronan. The timing is incredible…with Poppy, with the song…with the plans for the centre. It has to be Ronan. There is no other explanation.

    1. Ali….arent you so proud of ‘our maya’!! 😉

      1. Oh my gosh, yes!!!! Words cannot describe how much!!! Proud of her Mafia as well…proud to ‘know’ all you guys!

  2. You are a beautiful person Maya. This story has touched me more than anything I have ever heard. It makes me want to be a better person. Like you. Thank you.

  3. I am so sincerely touched by your story. GOD bless your little man and your whole family. I love the song and had to pull off the side of the freeway when I heard it on the radio. Thank you for sharing Ronan with the world. I hugged my babies just a little tighter today and snuck in for one more goodnight kiss. Thank you.

  4. You are beautiful, Maya. Ronan is beautiful. Taylor is beautiful, and the song is perfect. I have followed your love story since the beginning, but never commented…I don’t know why. But tonight, tonight after reading this, and after listening to “Ronan” over & over the last few days, I felt the need to let you know just how amazing I think you are. You and your beautiful, little blue eyed boy have changed me forever. Hugs to you!

  5. Hi,
    I’m 15 years old, and I’ve been reading your blog the past few days since ‘Ronan’ was released. I’ve read so many of your entries, old and new. Taylor Swift brought me here, and I am so, so glad that she did. Your story and Ronan’s story has changed me on such a deep, chemical level. Thank you for giving me perspective, Maya. Thank you for sharing with the world the story of the most beautiful little boy to ever live. Thank you for introducing us all to Ronan, for sharing his purity, his strength and his soul. Thank you for showing me the true face of childhood cancer; I know now that it is a cause that I will be doing everything i can too support for the rest of my life, till the day i die.
    I can’t comprehend why we are living in 2012 and behind the shiny new gadgets and the politicians that tell us we are living in the golden age that beautiful boys like Ronan are dying quietly behind the scenes. How are we so freaking blasé about this? I just want to print off your entry from the 9th of March, 2011 and go stick it under every single world leader’s nose and tell them to wake the fuck up.
    Thankyou Maya and Ronan for changing my life.
    Fuck you cancer.

    1. wow…you are 15?? …you write so beautifully! …and what a ‘grown’ perspective you have!! …you too will change the world…thats why Ro found you!! 🙂

      1. Thanks 🙂 I like to imagine little Ronan up in heaven pulling all our strings and bumping us into place until we achieve his master plan 🙂 hehe

    2. I’m fifteen too and I couldn’t agree with you more! This entry has made me realize what immortality really is..Ronan will always hold a special place in my heart..he and so many kids like him are the true angels born on earth meant to help those who aren’t completely able to understand the true meaning of life…this is beauty on its purest and most innocent sense

  6. I am so touched by this story, I cry my eyes out every time I hear the song. Its been stuck in my head ever since. Its amazing what Taylor has done for all of you. I know I am just a stranger but I would love for you to know that I hurt for you and pray for you. I only wish I knew of Ronan’s story even before Taylor’s song came out. His eyes will forever effect my life for as long as I live. That sweet handsome baby boy of yours is so amazing. Yoi and your wonderful family are amazing too & i can’t even begin to understand what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you always. Rest in the Sweetest Peace Ronan<3 Everyone loves you! =)

  7. I have followed your story and read it through just recently, before the song came out and I want to thank you. You have no idea how you have changed my life for the better and I will never look at things the same. Those eyes are in my mind always and I cannot forget them like Taylor could not, those eyes are going to keep me pushing through as I work to help other children like Ronan. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your story from the very beginning, without this I would not be the person I am today with a new out look on life!

  8. Maya, I wish you and your family all the best.

    I’m a little confused about the song, though. Did Taylor just copy and paste the lyrics from the blog or did she actually write some of her own?

    1. Most of the words to the song have been taken from pieces of Maya’s real life words written on her blog over the last few years (and even some from Ronan him darling self… you can see him saying he wants to ‘be an army guy’ in a video of him taken at the hospital after surgery)… Taylor has also added words and in the end has created pure, poetic, eloquent, and heartbreaking justice of it all.

    2. She got a lot of details from following her blog, which is why Maya is credited as a song writer. But of course the way the song flows and other things were formed by Taylor

    3. Mostly it’s Taylor telling the story in her own words (“The way she portrayed my grieving, broken heart. “Flowers pile up in the worst way, no one knows what to say…”). She incorporated some of the significant details (a couple of lines and words) from Maya’s blog, which is why she gets a co-writer credit.

      Taylor is just a brilliant writer with a huge heart and this is definitely one of her finest songs.

  9. True love… u’r story make me realize, i’ve spend a little time for my 2 years old daughter Kay than my jobs. After listen to Taylor song i drive home and hug her.. and crying with all regret. LOve u Kay.. and We LOve u Ronan..

  10. The world is falling head over heels for your Ro, as it should be. How anyone ever left negative comments to a grieving mother I will never know.

  11. I remember hearing that Taylor was performing on Stand Up to Cancer, and I really had no idea what to expect, but my mind instantly thought of Ronan. It had been a year since I was last on your blog, but Ronan and your story is impossible to forget. I couldn’t watch the program due to work, but when I got on my computer a friend of mine instantly skyped me and asked if I had heard “Ronan.” I did a double take and immediately started crying when she explained that Taylor wrote a song for this little boy. I told her I knew the story, but I just was not expecting her to decidate a song to him. This weekend I reread your blog posts, crying 95% of the time, and then finally sat down and listened to Ronan. It was absolutely gorgeous, and stunning. I sort of broke down then. My parents recently split, and I lost my grandfather to Alzheimer’s but I never cried during that for reasons I’m still not aware of, but my best guess was trying to stay strong for the rest of my family. I sort of feel a little bit better after crying, and I owe it to Ronan.

  12. You’re a beautiful person. You’re also the best mom. I just can’t believe how can you deal with this, nobody deserve that. I can’t even think how can you have to be feeling right now. I pray to God that you can keep going and know that Ronan will always be with you. I know is hard but thanks for sharing this story, it really touched my heart. Just by the way you talk, I feel the love that you have for that little angel and I don’t want to let it go. I will keep praying and really thanks for sharing this beautiful love story. Xo. Thanks you.

  13. Hi my name is Amelia,
    I live in South Australian and just wanted to say that I’m so very sorry for your loss- my prayers are with you. And also that everytime now I see the rain I will think of Ronan and your family. Thank you for inspiring me 🙂

  14. I have been following your blog for over a year now. I am so thankful that you have shared Ronan, shared your anguish, shared your anger and your love. I remember spending hours reading everything your beautiful, beautiful boy went through, everything you as a mother went through. You have such a gift, of writing so honestly, it is so raw that it feels like, for a split second, I could feel just a miniscule amount of your anguish, and it was almost too much to bare. I worried about you and your family so much through the last year, as a mother myself I thought, ” How is she going to survive this? How can the universe/god/who ever the fuck, be so cruel?” When I heard about Taylor and the song, I was in disbelief. When I saw the performance couldn’t even control the tears, I felt like jumping up and down in my living room and praising every god that ever exisited. THANK EVERYTHING that your beautiful, perfect boy was not lost for nothing. Thank-you Ronan for healing your mommy, giving your family the gift of the sibling you always wanted and for choosing Taylor to show Cancer what the fuck is up…..fuck off you asshole cancer!!
    I am a better mother because of your love story, I am a more aware human being because of your story. Thank-you. Thank-you. Thank-you.

  15. RoMama,
    I’ve been one of your early followers. Your lovestory captured me, but Rockstar Ro’s eyes captured my heart. Always RoLove!

    I’m glad you always kept it real and raw. Your true emotions. Even when there was so much negativity towards your grieving ways. Like wtf? Who were these people?! You brushed that right off your shoulders and kept on writing your spicy monkey every night! Your Lil Brad Pitt 🙂 I love that!

    I absolutely love the song Ronan. It will always be my fav song. I’m so happy September has been a great month for you. Filled with many bittersweet moments I’m sure. But between Poppy ( insert British accent ) and Ronan, you have a lot to look forward too. I can’t wait for the research center!

    I saw you on fox news and I cried right along.
    I’m so glad that Ronan will be the face of childhood cancer. What a beautiful lil man. Thanks to Taylor! I couldn’t agree more with Ali. You alone had over 2 million hits. You & Ro moved mountains. Only bigger things to come #mayasmafia xo

  16. Hi, you don’t know me, but I’ve recently came across your blog after hearing Taylor Swift perform “Ronan.” It’s a beautiful song and drew me to your site.

    First of all, I know no words can ever take away your pain, but I hope these words can give you some comfort. I’m truly sorry from the bottom of my heart that you lost your son due to this disease. Losing someone you love, no matter how old they are or what the circumstances are can be so painful, so blindingly painful, a hurt that never goes away, it’s like a part of you died. My grandma died…was diagnosed with Gallbladder Adenocarcinoma and died within 3 months of finding out. She was the strongest, most kind, most beautiful person I know. Sometimes I just can’t believe it. I read some negative comments on your blog, people saying that they don’t like the cussing, I never ever cuss, but I too say FUCK CANCER!

    As soon as I get a chance, I plan on donating to your cause and purchasing Rockstar Ronan merchandise. There are a lot of cancer charities out there, but I’m drawn to your cause because of your spirit, dedication, and love for your son. It’s so breathtakingly beautiful. I know you loved Ronan so much.

    I’m in med school and I’ve always wanted to be a pediatrician. I’ve never considered becoming a Pediatric Oncologist, but now I’m going to try, and it’s because of people like you who are so inspiring. I want to thank you for that! I think your blog should be published as a book!! I would definitely buy it.

    Good luck with everything and Congratulations on your pregnancy.


    1. I would buy the book, too!!! ❤

  17. Maya – Look at how many new hits you have on this page!! Almost 4.5 MILLION!!! It has almost doubled in a week! That means almost twice as many people are aware of that precious Ro!!! Your love story continues to be an inspiration for so many, and I am so honored that you allow us to be a part of it! Thank you Taylor Swift for helping to spread Ronan’s story in such a beautiful, perfect way!

  18. I wanted to let you know that I have been reading your blog for a whole now and I thi k you are so strong, so courageous and such an amazing person. As a mom, I can not even begin to imagine how much you must hurt inside and how brave you are to put all of your emotions out there on your blog. I think that Taylor’s song is so beautiful and every time I listen to it I bawl, but at the same time I find myself listening to it all the time. Much love to you, your family and that new baby!

  19. Love love love. Thank you. Peace to you and yours.

  20. I have followed your blog for a long time and I have to say, I am completely blown away at what you and Ronan have accomplished. I could never put myself in your shoes, but I am fairly certain that I wouldn’t have had the strength, courage, energy, or emotional endurance to do what you’ve done. You have shown us all what is possible when you are driven by pure love (and a shitload of justifiable anger). You have taught people who have never experienced loss the importance of being compassionate to those who have. The judgmental douch holes that you mentioned are soulless and empty but, in the grand scheme of things, completely insignificant. You shared your most agonizing pain and brought us to the darkest places that the human spirit can go, and it will forever benefit other children and families because numbers and statistics will NEVER mobilize the masses or effect change the way your story does and the way your beautifu little boy always will. I, along with so many others, will appreciate my loved ones more, try to complain less, and make more of an effort to live every day fully. Others who have lost loved ones will gain strength from your love story. They may learn to forgive themselves, or find the energy to get out of bed each day, or smile again, or turn their pain into something powerful – all equally astounding as far as I am concerned and all because of you. The song is beautiful. You should be so proud of what you’ve done. I wish you and your family happiness. By the way, I think you are about to kick cancer’s ass.

  21. This is such a beautiful post. I wish your family well. The song is so so beautiful and perfect, I can barely listen to it without breaking down.
    And I will never understand the negative comments people gave you.
    You are a wonderful person.

  22. I cannot imagine having your heart broken in pain, feeling empty and exhausted from tears. Having Taylor Swift softly sing Ronan’s story will keep a spark in your heart forever. I have a little 8 year old and I am not sure how long I will have him due to his severe disability, but in my heart he will always be….little tattoos on my heart imbedded forever. Maya, you were blessed to have such a love. Dance in the rain forever.

  23. You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your little angel with us & the whole world. I hope it brings you hope knowing that millions know Ronan’s name thanks to his song. One step closer to a cure.

  24. Maya,

    This post made my heart a little happy. Ronan will always be special. Will always be missed. I feel what Taylor has done is shone a spotlight on this thing that noone talks about because its too ‘hard’.

    Then this post made me really mad. To see what people have said to you along the journey of this blog is terrible. Trolls have NO place here.

    I have spported this blog and your story from late 2010. I will continue to support it because I believe that no parent should ever have to endure seeing their child suffer and die the way you had to.

  25. Avatar

    Maya…I have been following yours and Ronan’s story since day one. I am so so glad that you did not listen to the nay sayers…the ones who said your heart was black and you were selfish….what the fuck do they know anyway? Have they walked in your shoes? Have they ever felt the pain that you and your family have and are feeling every minute of every day. NO. I imagine not. So, as the Irish say “maith go leor” or “good on you” for everything that you have done to bring this terrible horrible disease to light and turn your love for Ronan into the most wonderful thing ever.. awareness of this horrible disease and being forward thinking enough to imagine a place where children can go and heal but still be children. Loads of love to you and your family. Keep Ro-cking…..

  26. I have just recently started reading your blog. You are an incredible mother. I have 3 sons myself. My relationship with my youngest reminds me of you and Ronan.He is my little pal. He just started 1st grade so it is strange not to have him by my side. My son, Max, would of loved to play with Ronan. He loves his Star Wars and is always hiding in corners and “shooting” something. I respect the courage you have to write this blog, wake up everyday and try living your life. Congrats on your upcoming baby. I know he/she will bring the happiness you and your family so much deserves. I know Ronan is shining down on you and protecting you in every way. I have hugged my boys a little tighter everyday knowing what you have gone through and how precious life can be. If you ever need help with fundraising in Chicago, please email me. I would love to help out and fight this!! No child especially someone as precious as Ronan deserves this to happen to them!!

  27. Perfectly said Maya! ❤

  28. Nothing but pure love for you and your family. So glad the world is finally seeing what all of us have been seeing for years. Love to the Thompson family. And especailly Ro. Always Ro.

  29. Maya ronan has changed my life! Your love story is the most amazing thing I have ever heard! Taylor made his song perfect I listen to it everyday. I wish I could have met ronan and told him how much of I diffrence he has made on the lives of complete strangers! I love your blog and your family it takes so much strength and courage for a family to stay together like yours did I am so proud of you guys! You inspire me everyday to make life worth living and to make the best of what I have! You have a heart of gold and a beautiful angel who adores you, and million of strangers who have fallen in love with Ro. I wanted to tell you that ronan has inspired me to help others I wanna to help you bring awareness to childhood cancer even if it is in the smallest way. I am going to cut my hair and donate it. I want someone who is fighting hard like Ro did to have a little joy in their life! I want people to ask me why I did it so I can say Ronan inspired me to be better and so I cantell them to listen to your and taylors song so he can change their life too! Ik you hurt but maya you and your family gave the world something we all desprately needed, you gave us hope. You show us everyday what it truely means to fight for what we believe in! One day they will find a cure and sweet beautiful babies won’t have to fly to heaven like your sweet little angel did and on that day just for a while your heart will be at peace knowing Ronan didn’t leave in vaine, he left because other inocent babies needed his incredible mommys help to save their life. One day the world will know who ronan is and their lives will change for the better. I love you maya you are such a strong woman don’t ever forget that and don’t ever belive this won’t work because it will I belive in you!

  30. Dear Maya
    The people that said those hurtful comments
    Are Cowards. They are afraid to go against the grain. Your story is pure honesty. Nothing is sugar coated. For those of us who read your blog, we laugh with you on your good days and cry with you on your bad days. We support you and stand by you in the fight against this awful disease. Together with Ronan your dreams will become reality.
    All the strangers, friends and family are proud to be part of your journey in accomplishing something amazing from something so very tragic.

    1. Exactly what Kara just said.. I wanted to reply to this post and she put it perfectly. (Thank you Kara!) And Maya, just wanted you to know that I’m still reading since day one, still supporting, still loving and living life more thoroughly b/c of you & Ronan. Keep going momma, you are amazing.

  31. You are so very beautiful and I am so proud of you and this movement and to be one person 1 very small person that believes in you, Ro, your love and the work that needs to be done. I love you, your boys, Poppy and now also Taylor. What an amazing gift and difference she has made.. and will continue to make. While you authored every word perfectly and painfully as you lived this nightmare ( sadly I do recall each and every word) her brilliance of
    putting them together in the way that she did is beyond remarkable. Big hugs and tears to you sweet strong amazing mama.

  32. Come on baby, we are gonna fly away from here…its what I told my 8 yr. son when he passed away in my arms. Beautiful!

  33. I’m absolutely speechless after reading this. This is the first time I have become aware of the horrid things that people have said to you. I’m so sorry. That’s all I can say.
    But at least you have discovered the real angels of the world. Taylor Swift.

  34. I’ve ready your writing for a really long time and I always think about how much alike I think we would be if I had suffered a loss like you have. My daughter (she is 13) learned about Ronan through Taylor Swift’s song and all her friends have picked up on your story because their love of Taylor. I’ve never shared your blog with her but I did this weekend when she showed me a picture of Ronan that was floating amongst her friends on instagram. We listened to the song together and I sobbed. Ronan was an inspiration before, but now he is reaching so many people thanks to Taylor Swift. We love her in our family and this has made us love her even more. Blessings to you and yours. Kristin

  35. I Know How You Feel Maya I Am Very sorry your a wonderful remarable person & I will be blessed to be more like you god bless you .

  36. You are a wonderful wife and mother & you deserve more than anyone to be happy! I am so glad you are finally feeling some sort of happiness in your life! I just listened to Ronan by Taylor and now I’m crying my eyes out at work for you and your beautiful son….Your story has tuched so many lives…mine being one of them….You have a beautiful soul Maya…and I know you are going to continue to do great things!

  37. So proud of how far you have come, kicking and screaming all the way – your way! It is no wonder Ronan was a spicey monkey. Doubters have had their eyes opened. Judge no one, give support and do good. Luv u Thompson family! Peace be with you.

  38. Maya!!
    Who the FAZZUNK could ever be upset with you for rolling with your grief and moving with it and allowing it to inspire you – and not to mention – GET ANGRY (which will cause people to swear, obviously)?!?!?!?!!? Whoever would criticize you during this time in your life is not worth one.single.ounce. of consideration. But then again, perhaps they gave you some fuel and fanned the fire – which is always a good thing.

    Anyways – they are losers. And they lost out on being part of something beautiful and amazing!!! Forget them!!!

    I am a new reader – I heard on my morning news yesterday about Taylor Swift singing some song for some little boy. I am not a huge fan of Taylor Swift – I will put that out there. So I really can’t say what prompted me to remember one of the first sentences I heard in the morning and take it to work and research it – when I don’t even really like Taylor Swift to begin with. I don’t follow any blogs. I really have no idea why I was so drawn to the story. I read the first post on the homepage: ‘Hey Maya, it’s Taylor Swift…’ And then I read the next one, and then I said ‘just one more’ before I get on with my work day.

    One more, one post at a time, I read the ENTIRE BLOG, every single entry, ALL DAY, (backwards). I could not stop myself. I cried LOTS. I thought about how I might get fired if I was caught doing this all day – this has been TOO LONG – I should get off of here, that I could read it a few days at a time or over the course of a year – cuz it would still be there…. But mostly I thought about my family and my boys. I could not wait to get home from work and see them and hold them. I already love on them too much and appreciate every second with them….. but your experience and your words just makes my love for them explode. I need to be bigger, I need to be better, I need to DO more.

    I don’t get video at work – so, when I got home, I saw my nine year old, I grabbed him and hugged him and we laid on my bed and I told him your story and we watched the video and heard the song together for the first time. We also have two 15 year olds (one is my biological and the other is my husband’s biological) and E was at football and N was sleeping his hormones off – hahahaha. B (the 9 yr old) and I watched the video twice and hugged tight and cried. Then B had enough and said we had to watch a different Taylor Swift song and cheer up. Then we went and made pancakes and just everything was more joyful and we were more creative and it was really nice.

    After a few posts, I shared the story on my facebook page; after a few more posts, I donated to the foundation; after a few more posts, I looked at t-shirts to purchase (will do today), and today I am wondering about the bracelets. I can tell you that if you put out a book of this blog, if you create more t-shirts, if you have a fundraising drive – I want to help you reach your goals. I am not rich, but I can help in my own small way – and if a lot of people do that – then it will be HUGE. I believe in you and your mission.

    I REALLY want you to get that center and help other families who are going through this (the story about all the resources you had to find on your own made me REALLY mad, too – there should be a whole package they give you with everything you might EVER need or want that is available to you, should you choose to access it!!).

    But, most of all, I REALLY want you to get that cure…. So no family has to go through what you and your friends have gone through. There is no way that I could read your story and not be deeply moved.

    Congratulations on your Poppy. Kiss your Liam and Quinn for me. And your amazing husband Woody. And all of your amazing friends (they are a very rare breed!!!) and your foundation board and the medical community who has been there for you. I am sending all of you and your beautiful Ronan so much love from my desk. I feel like I am now a part of your family all the way from Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. ❤ ❤ ❤


  39. Maya,

    I started reading your blog after I heard Taylor’s song. That was such a nice thing for her to do for you, but I think the most amazing thing is you. You are so strong, and so brave, and the words on your blog and in the song are so beautiful. I agree that Ronan is the best song of her life. How could it not be when Ronan was such an amazing little boy? It makes me want to do something to help children with cancer.

    All of the love,


  40. Maya,
    I’m another follower that you don’t know, however, I’ve been following in a different way. One of my best friend’s in Chicago is Diane (Trisha and Sarah’s mom). I’ve known of you and your story for a very long time. Diane sent me a note last week telling me to watch the Stand up 2 Cancer event. I am also a long time country music fan and think that Taylor Swift is one classy young lady. I believe in small miracles and that is truly what brought the two of you together. I spent the weekend reading your blog. I love your raw emotion. It’s so honest and true. I love your courage and I can only hope that I would have that kind of courage in the face of turmoil.

    God bless you, your family and all of those people that continue to support you. I can only imagine that list has just grown exponentially. Feel the love from that, from Taylor’s song and ignore the negative. Love from Chicago!

  41. Ronan is an amazing song, I have had in my head since SU2C…she absolutely had raw emotion while doing this song. But I just want to say I can’t believe any moron would give up on you or fault you in any way. Or say things like you mentioned in this post. There are 2 kinds of people I guess, those who get it and those who don’t. And I’m not saying you have to lose a child to get it. Some people are too hung up on non sense that they walk with blinders. Anyways, truthfully I’m a mom from massachusetts who thinks about Ronan and all of you multiple times a day. Yesterday I googled…I got to RO and your ons name already came up. The awareness is becoming enormous all because of You! A Even bigger things are around th corner and Ronan Sean Thompson has led the way!

  42. Love you. Always have, always will. Your family, all of you, are an extension of my heart. Its been two years and 4 days since I found this story.. and I don’t even remember how. But Ive never been the same. SO glad that the world is waking up to this ROvolution.

  43. Dear Maya,
    I have been reading your blog for the past 6 days now. Iv been home sick so iv had a lot of time on my hands and im sooo happy that i had all this time to sit infront of the computer and read a lot of your posts. You are the strongest woman I know. You have the curage to post what you are truly feeling on the internet. Ok so i thought of somting I want to do in honor of Ronan. So on the 10th of each month i will wrtie a 4(for the best 4 years you had with Ro) And Im going to make a t-shirt with his pic on it. Well thats if its alright with you if not im tottaly cool with it. Maya youve inspisered this 14 year old (me) to rais money for childhood caner. Stay strong and always keep you head heald high.

  44. You are absolutely strong and a beautiful person. The people who had tell you that you are selfish, they dont know you. Just reading this makes me wanna cry all night long and that taylor swift’s song, is the most beautiful song i have ever hearded. You didnt deserved this, not at all. You are a great mom and you have a very big heart. My english is a little bad, because im from Argentina, but im doing the best i can to express my self. Wish you all luck in the world.

  45. I live in Phoenix as well and I just listened to the Taylor Swift song and it was amazing. The other day I was at my sons baseball game and he is 12. He had a really bad game and he was very upset. To tell you the truth I really was not very happy with his performance. But I realized that when I saw your story that I’m so thankful that I got to watch my son play and that he is healthy. Life is so precious and I don’t think we realize that. Your son looked like a great boy and my words can’t express how sorry I am. But I want you to know that Ronan has helped me realize that I need to appreciate everything. I will not take for granted the joys of watching a baseball game with my son good or bad. Thank you Ronan for helping me see that.

  46. I have followed your blog since the beginning. My heart aches for you every time I read your post BUT I am so excited for the things that are happening for you and your family!! Poppy, Taylor Swift, the plans for the center….it’s Romazing!! I’m so excited for you, i could scream from the rooftops 🙂 i know Ronan will continue to work his magic through you…. and I can’t wait to see how this all plays out. Hugs and kisses, muah! p.s. FUCK CANCER

  47. I write and erase…. I read your words and they seem to be exactly like mine… I’m crying for this mom and little boy Ronan whom I’ve never met. I hope my sweet boy Denali who left us 3 months ago today after a 27 month long battle with pancreatic cancer has found Ronan and they are playing together. I’m sure there are lots of moms that reach out to you Maya but my heart is telling me… to tell you to please call me.
    Love Donna

  48. Maya, thank you for not letting the negative comments from others stop you from writing your blog. Most of all, thank-you for sharing Ronan with all of us and for being so brave to put your feelings out there. You are so deserving of all the amazing things happening for you.
    To all my fellow Canadian readers…lets make Ronan’s song be #1 on itunes in Canada!!!

    1. Yea Baby – Let’s Go Canada!!! ❤

    2. I looked and it said Ronan is not available to purchase on iTunes Canada.

  49. i love you and will always love you! You are real and loving and we will always be beside you! You have always been doing the right thing and I am glad you have never listened to all the crap people tell you that is not true. Not a day goes by that I dont think of you and Ronan. It has been a long 16 months but you have moved mountains Maya and I am proud of you!

  50. Dear Maya,

    I am a stranger to you but your story has touched me so deeply I have been crying for days. I actually saw the link to Taylor’s performance on and before she even sang one word I was already bawling my eyes out. My little man is only 19 months and without a doubt the love of my life. I spent the weekend reading your blog from the beginning. I don’t even have the words….that somehow you are so eloquently able to share. The whole time I kept thinking how fucked up it is that the only ones who seem to be fighting for this cause are the ones that have been cut the deepest. Then I realized, what Taylor’s song really did was create your own personal army with Ronan as our Commander In Chief. I have been asking everyone I speak to if they’ve heard about your story and sharing it with them if they haven’t. I will also be sending money to your foundation. But, please continue to post the best ways we can serve you, whether it be volunteering at a local Ronald McDonald house or Children’s Hospital, raising funds, or simply thoughts and prayers. I have been a woman without a cause and am ready to go into battle with you. You and Ronan have profoundly altered my life in ways I’m not even sure about yet. Your love story is going to change the world.

  51. When I read the story of your son and saw his beautiful little face, then listened to Taylor singing his song, of course as a mother, I wept like a baby and then some. I became a widow at age 20 with two children to raise, the hole in my heart was tremendous, but even though it wrenched me into despair, the hole I felt at the time could have not ever been compared to the gigantic hole and emptiness it would have been had I lost a child of mine. You have courageous strength to carry on from this heart-wrenching loss. May you find comfort in knowing your baby rests in the arms of our Heavenly Father. May the good Lord forever keep comforting you.

  52. Ronan’s story inspired me to finally sign up for the bone marrow registry today. Thanks Ronan, for courage.

    With love,

  53. Thank you for this. I am one of those that got wind of this story recently. I am a mom of 3 boys in Phoenix as well. You are a pillar of strength. I read your thoughts and try to understand what a dear friend of mine went through when she lost her son. I can’t of course, but I can admire you for your strength. I will be a loyal reader and supporter. Rock on Maya and Ronan. PS. So happy you are expecting.

  54. I just found your blog through Ronan’s song. Thank you for sharing your heart & your little man with the world. He is SO beautiful. YOU are so beautiful. It makes me so sad for what you have been through. But even sadder that you have been so hard on yourself. Although we have never met – I can tell exactly where Ronan got his amazingness from. YOU! You are an amazing mom & person. I just wanted to comment to give you my support. Don’t even bother with people who leave nasty comments. Seriously? I can’t even believe anyone would, but I am so sorry they have. It seems like you are pretty good at following your heart & it seems your heart is pure gold. I can’t even imagine what you must feel living without him every day. I have a 8, 5 & 2 yr old. So although I don’t pretend to understand – I do know they are my everything. And because of you – I am a better mom to them. But can I tell you something else I believe? Ronan will always be yours. You will always be his mommy. And you will see him again someday. Someday his little body will match his soul again & he will be perfect. I know this is true & I hope it will give you some hope knowing I & so many believe in you, pray for you, & think of you & your beautiful baby boy. I am also sure Ronan is spending time with your new baby in heaven right now & giving him all the love a new big brother can before he comes to earth. He has touched so many & so have you. Thank you.

  55. Maya I am amazed at what a wonderful person you are. I’m also thankful for Taylor Swift because of her song I’ve come to know of your beautiful Ronan and the love story you shared

  56. I just saw this on KSL – listened to the song, had to click on and read the post. We buried our daughter almost 18 years ago…when you said ‘what are people thinking as they read this’, I knew I needed to comment. This one understands. This one really understands…the restaurant scene, the date with your sons, your pregnancy with Poppy, the crazy woman who’s child is dying…Oh, how I understand. People don’t like to talk about death, especially a child’s death. We live in a world of medical miracles – death isn’t much a part of life any more. BUT, ultimately, we’re not in control, God is and He is never wrong. My daughter would be a senior in high school this year…every time I go to the high school I can visualize her there….almost….
    She was our fourth child. She has a younger sister who is a sophomore in high school. She’s a miracle child, shouldn’t have lived, did, thrives, lights up my world!
    My son had his first child this year – and named her after his sister. Every time I hold this grandchild, her namesake, I feel a connection I cannot describe but I think you understand. It’s like the rain you explain so well…there are always ‘things’ the tell us that they aren’t so far away….
    God bless you!
    Thank you for sharing!
    I can only imagine having a song titled “Amelia” sung by Taylor Swift for the whole world to hear, to have a glimpse of this precious child of mine.
    Thank you, Taylor, for being so sensitive, so real, for sharing Ronan with those of us who didn’t know anything about him or his story until we saw the news this morning…bless you!

  57. Maya,

    You and Ronan are absolutely kicking cancers ass! Fuck you Cancer! Ronan will always always always been remembered and loved!

    All my best!

  58. No one has a right to judge you sweet Maya. As if. Bless you a trillion times for being BRAVE enough to share your love story with all of us. To share your Ronan with us. I have sobbed and cursed and tried to feel your pain as if somehow it could lessen yours in some ridiculous way….I know that it can’t. You are changing millions of lives – you and Ronan. That continues to be a love story I want to keep reading.

  59. Ronan…the world is feeling your LOVE….Maya thank you for letting us be apart of that LOVE.

  60. Hi, my name is Annie, and Taylor Swift brought me here.

    I am a nineteen year old college student and ever since I heard her sing that song I’ve been mesmerized by Ronan’s story, and your story. I have read through most of you blog post’s in the past few days and I cannot even comprehend the amount of tears that I have cried for that beautiful little boy. I wish that I had known about his story since the beginning, but I am just grateful that I was able to hear about it at all. He was truly a beautiful little boy with the biggest heart and I cannot understand why this issue is not the most important thing being talked about in our country. And I am sad that I wasn’t aware of how neglected the subject of children’s cancer is. It baffles me that know ones knows about this. How can all of these politicians and news stations be sitting there reporting on such insignificant things and not just screaming into the camera that children are dieing and no one is doing anything. It breaks my heart over and over again. This whole thing just baffles me and it makes me angry that nothing is being done. EVERYONE SHOULD BE AWARE OF THIS. All I can think about is Why? How can this happen to such a beautiful person?

    So I wanted you to know that my sorority is now going to be changing our entire philanthropy. All of our hours of volunteering, will be done for Children’s cancer. Whether we travel to CHOP over an hour away and spend the day there with those kids we are going to do it. And also, all of our fundraisers, and philanthropy events, every cent we make is going to be donated to The Ronan Thompson Foundation. We already have planned an acoustic show this winter for our school, and we are already changing the theme to be Rockstar Ronan. It’s crazy that we became aware of your story through Taylor Swift, because my college, Kutztown University, is right outside Reading Pennsylvania, which is where Taylor Swift grew up. I just wanted you to know that your story has already began to change things. Ronan’s story is already making a difference. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for the past week, just an endless cycle of ‘Ronan would want us to do this.’ I almost feel like he’s been telling me in the back of my head ‘Come on Annie, you know what you need to do now, make it happen.’ It’s been the craziest week and I just could not be more grateful that Taylor wrote that song and it brought me here. You are going to do great things for these kids, and I hope we can help in any way and make your dreams of that Cancer Center come true.

    If there is anything else that you need me to do, that you need us to do. Do not hesitate. I don’t know of any other way to get in touch with you to keep you updated on what we are doing for him, but I would love to. To either just keep you updated, or to talk to you about anything else we could do, bounce off ideas, but we want to do something and we want it to be big. I feel like this has given me a cause, and I want to fight.

    God bless you and Ronan, the most beautiful little boy I’ve ever had the pleasure to learn about. I wish I couldv’e known him. I cannot imagine doing what all that you are doing. You are so strong and so brave, and the greatest mom I have ever heard of. You two are my inspiration.

    I’ll be sending love and prayers to you, your family and Ronan,

    Annie xxxx

  61. Hi, my name is Annie, and Taylor Swift brought me here.

    I am a nineteen year old college student and ever since I heard her sing that song I’ve been mesmerized by Ronan’s story, and your story. I have read through most of you blog post’s in the past few days and I cannot even comprehend the amount of tears that I have cried for that beautiful little boy. I wish that I had known about his story since the beginning, but I am just grateful that I was able to hear about it at all. He was truly a beautiful little boy with the biggest heart and I cannot understand why this issue is not the most important thing being talked about in our country. And I am sad that I wasn’t aware of how neglected the subject of children’s cancer is. It baffles me that know ones knows about this. How can all of these politicians and news stations be sitting there reporting on such insignificant things and not just screaming into the camera that children are dieing and no one is doing anything. It breaks my heart over and over again. This whole thing just baffles me and it makes me angry that nothing is being done. EVERYONE SHOULD BE AWARE OF THIS. All I can think is Why? How can this happen to such a beautiful person?

    So I wanted you to know that my sorority is now going to be changing our entire philanthropy. All of our hours of volunteering, will be done for Children’s cancer. Whether we travel to CHOP over an hour away and spend the day there with those kids we are going to do it. And also, all of our fundraisers, and philanthropy events, every cent we make is going to be donated to The Ronan Thompson Foundation. We already have planned an acoustic show this winter for our school, and we are already changing the theme to be Rockstar Ronan. It’s crazy that we became aware of your story through Taylor Swift, because my college, Kutztown University, is right outside Reading Pennsylvania, which is where Taylor Swift grew up. I just wanted you to know that your story has already began to change things. Ronan’s story is already making a difference. It’s all I’ve been able to think about for the past week, just an endless cycle of ‘Ronan would want us to do this.’ I almost feel like he’s been telling me in the back of my head ‘Come on Annie, you know what you need to do now, make it happen.’ It’s been the craziest week and I just could not be more grateful that Taylor wrote that song and it brought me here. You are going to do great things for these kids, and I hope we can help in any way and make your dreams of that Cancer Center come true.

    If there is anything else that you need me to do, that you need us to do. Do not hesitate. I don’t know of any other way to get in touch with you to keep you updated on what we are doing for him, bounce ideas off of you, let you know whats happening, and what we raise, but I would love to. To either just keep you updated, or to talk to you about anything else we could do. I feel like this has given me a cause, and I want to fight.

    God bless you and Ronan, the most beautiful little boy I’ve ever had the pleasure to learn about. I wish I couldv’e known him. I cannot imagine doing what all that you are doing. You are so strong and so brave, and the greatest mom I have ever heard of. You both are my inspiration.

    I’ll be sending love and prayers to you, your family and Ronan,


  62. Don’t worry about those people who abandoned you. You may never see this post but I hope you feel the love. No one who hasn’t been there has any right to judge you. My boy is my world and I wouldn’t hold together like you have. You’re my hero, Miss Maya and your boys are amazing. Good luck in all you do, though you don’t need it. Ronan is with you

  63. I downloaded Taylor Swifts’s song Ronan for my 6 year old daughter who is a huge fan of hers. I enjoy her music as well but didnt want it on my workout playlist. I honestly didnt know anything about the song. Yesterday i was driving listening to my playlist and it came on. I was half listening and heard the sadness in her voice and thought i need to listen to the words so i replayed it. I had never felt so sad over a song in my life. I cried. I felt so much pain and sadness because i know she writes about her experiences and real life stories. I knew she wrote this about someone and I needed to know who. I got on the internet and found your blog.
    You are an unbelievable person. I feel so much pain for you. Your little man was so absolutely adorable. I know that you have to find the strength to move forward for your other children, but I dont know how you do it. Taylor’s song is absolutely beautiful. Even though it is so sad…i listened to over and over. I bet in the last two days i have listened to it about 35 times. I pictured a little boy with bare feet walking down the hall laughing. I know have Ronans face in my head when i hear his song. I cry for Ronan and you and your family. He was so beautiful.
    I just can’t tell you how deeply sad I am that you lost your baby boy. It is not fair!!!! Babies shouldn’t get Cancer. We need to get a cure for this now, so no body else experiences your pain. I am deeply sorry for your loss. Everytime it rains i will think of Ronan.

  64. I’m sitting here, wishing I could write something beautiful and poetic like the other posters. But all I can think of is that I don’t know what to say, aside from I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little boy.

  65. Maya,
    Im 23 year old with an 18 month old daughter. The moment i started listening tp Taylor’s beautiful song about sweet Ronan tears came rolling down my cheeks. What a beautiful song Taylor had written for such an amazing boy. That night I stayed up pouring over all your blogs. I cried all night long. My hurt for you and your family was so strong. I think about Ronan everday since reading your blog. And i think of those big blue eyes your always writting about. My daughter has similar big blue eyes. Maybe that why this blog has made such an impact on me. Anytime i start thinking about Ronan i just want to hold on to my daughter and never let go. Im current a full time college student and full time mom and i get so wrapped up in being busy i sometimes forget to enjoy the small things with Charlotte (my daughter). Not anymore… not a day goes by now where i dont stop and just enjoy every second i have of listening to her play and giggle. Thanks Ronan for teaching me to stop and just enjoy what i have and not get so caught up in the realites of a busy life. Me and my daughter have added Ronan,You, and the rest your family in our night time prayers. Thanks for sharing your blog.
    With love,

  66. I don’t understand how anyone could say a mean thing to you or Ronan. You have to be the strongest person I’ve ever seen. I can’t imagine the hurt you’ve suffered. You are amazing and your story, and Taylor’s song is a beautiful description of the love you have for your son.

  67. I found this blog thanks to a friend of mine. I have cried for every single post I have read. Even though a lot of the tears are from pain and sadness for your family most are of “happiness”. Happiness to find in this chaotic world someone so strong and loving. Someone that has fought through Hell and back and has come out the other side stronger. Someone that has decided to be honest and raw about what something like this can do to a person and to a family. You and Ronan are an inspiration to us all. He will always be with us. And I really believe that he sent the little Poppy to be a little part of him that will still live on.

  68. Maya,

    Your honesty is awe inspiring. The pain you live with, the hole in your life, I can’t begin to imagine. I can’t put myself in your shoes. I have gotten a glimpse through your word and Taylor’s song and the waves of sorrow and tears they invoke. Despite the tangible pain they make me feel I keep listening and reading and telling others to do the same. You know why? Not because Taylor is talented, though she is. And not because your blog is one of the most raw and honest things I’ve ever read. I do it for Ronan and I do it for you, a kindred spirit and fellow mommy. The few days of pain and minutes or hours of sobbing (literally inconsolable for you and fleeting fears that this could happen to one of my babies). It seems only fair and a fitting tribute that we feel this for you and Ronan. Everyone should know this love and glimpse this pain just to share the burden if only for a moment. You will make a difference. And I will always keep perspective. Lots of love and light from my two girls and my little man to you and yours.

  69. Maya, your story and Taylor’s song have hit the national press in the UK. Lots of photos of you and Ronan. Awareness is definitely being raised all over the world. You are amazing. xx

  70. haha whoops didnt mean to post twice!^^

  71. Stephanie Faye Rogerson Avatar
    Stephanie Faye Rogerson

    Hello Maya.

    Like many before me, Taylor Swift brought me here. I have read you blog through and I am so glad she chose to give you and Ronan the platform you derseve, to help build awareness for children’s cancer. Although I could never compare to your pain, my Mum has cancer and it quickly spreads into the lives of the whole family, it’s such a malicious disease. With my Dad at work everyday I am doing my best not to keep my family from drifting and to support my younger sister. The disease is exhausting on all of us, I can only imagine what you went through, and you are an inspiration to us all! I am all the way from England and I will continue to support your blog. If there is anything I can do to help build awareness over here, then please just let me know. You are officially in the England tabloids, your name, Ronan’s name, together with Taylor and your story. Ronan and Taylor have spun there magic over here too, and I really do hope that children’s cancer is brought to light so people can do more about it. My wishes are with you always.


  72. Kristell Thompson Avatar
    Kristell Thompson

    I’m 19, my birthday is on May 8th and I’m a Taylor Swift’s big fan
    My name is Kristell and my last name is Thompson and I’ve never been so proud of it like I am now
    I’m not from the U.S, but I love Taylor and she was the one who brought me here. Ronan has touched me so deeply I can’t even explain, I know my english is not that good but I would like to say to you, Maya, that you’re not a selfish person, you’re just someone who’s hurt because you lost one of the most important gifts in your life.
    I have read some of your entries and it killed me to read the beautiful blue eyes little boy left one day after my birthday it is just not fair…
    He is now an angel and though it hurts he has changed the world, thanks to you and thanks to Taylor who shared his story and the story of your family with the world.
    Ronan will always be by our side.. and I mean “our” because he is now part of us, to all the people who got to know him not personally but by you and by Taylor
    I will do all I can to support you, even in my country with the Cancer Fundation because this has to stop and a cure is needed

    Ro, this is for you… I didn’t know you but I can say now that I love you to the moon and back, thanks Ro, with almost 4 years you changed my life and my perspective about life, you might not be here now, but I have learnt so much from you

  73. I just can’t stop crying ;( I’m the biggest Taylor fan so after hearing the song I wanted to know Romans story and I’ve spent the past 3 days reading every single blog post you’ve wrote and listening to the song over and over and I just can’t stop crying. I’m only 18 but I’ve realised I complain and worry and the stupidest shit I’m so sorry you lost your little man. I never knew him but i feel like i love him so much and he really was the most beautiful little boy, i just feel so bad…I really wanna get a bracelet are they available in the UK?

  74. I have no words for all you’re going through, will continue to go through. You are doing nothing less than a mother who will always love her child..and damn what anyone who says otherwise thinks. Ronan is a beautiful song, for a more beautiful boy, and everyone knows his name, your name, because you do what you do. ❤

  75. Oh Maya, you have done so much. I am so happy and sad I can’t stop crying. I know this is selfish but I just wish there were more people like you 20 years ago. Maybe then our beautiful children would still be here with us today. I lost my grandson in April. I think I loved him more than my own if that’s possible. I think it’s because as a grandmother I tend to enjoy the little things more than I did when I was bringing up my own. I only know now what I really missed out on back then. I love reading your blog as it helps me feel a little bit normal in this world of grief. I only discovered it in May when I was searching for help dealing with grief and I have to say even though I cry more than anything it has help me more than therapy or any other web article. I went back to the beginning of your blog and started reading. Sometimes it felt like I was reading a story about us and what we went through or are going through. I am so glad you never ever let the negative people stop you from doing what you have done. So much more than they will ever even dream about. Everyone deals with grief differently and your way has produced more good than I have seen so far. I love Taylor’s song so much. I know it will hit the hearts of millions of parents out there. You have worked wonders already can you imagine what it will be like in another 20 years. Many parents will be reading your story and have so much love and respect for what you are doing today. You and Ronan are here to stay in the hearts of many.
    Love from Jacob’s grandmother, Michelle.

  76. I had been reading your blog for some time now. I was always to scared to actually write anything, but after i heard the Ronan Song something in my heart told me to just let you know how proud you make women feel. I’m 18 and i see a strength in you i have never seen in anyone but my own mother. You have helped me figure out what i want to do with my life. i was sitting in a Psychology class and reading one of your older stories i some how missed. (should have been listening but once i start reading one of your entries i cant stop) you were talking about how good your therapist was how you felt like you could talk to her and how she understood you. I want to be that in my future. I want to be that person that will sit and listen and understand people. I want to help others and try to shine a light into their lives if only for a minute. I have been spreading your story and putting up links to your blog wherever I can. You are truly an inspiration Just like Taylor and especially Ronan. I’ll continue praying for you and your family every night.

  77. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful relationship with us. I visited this blog thanks to Taylor Swift’s song and I have spent the last two days crying more than I can remember for you and your family. Ronan has made me want to be a better person and I have vowed to visit your blog and listen to his song every day as a reminder not to take my blessings for granted and to be the best person that I can possibly be in life. Every little extra act of kindness I do will be an act of Ronan’s. Thank you Maya, and thank you Ronan.

  78. I want to know, the song Taylor Swift had wrote for Ronan got me to read his story, and he is in my thoughts everyday. You are a very strong woman for surviving this, and Ronan was a very strong little boy. I hold onto my little boy a little tighter now, as I could never, ever not imagine not holding him again.
    Again, you are a very strong woman and I admire you. And I admire Ronan, too.

  79. Dear Maya,
    I am so inspired by Ronan. I started reading your blog ever since Taylor’s song came out. I cried so hard all day at how sad your story is. I am 16 and am a Junior this year, and you have inspired me to major to become a Children’s Cancer nurse. I keep looking around and seeing all the money thats going to waste on the stupid pleasures of life and I wish people would just wake up and see that its all for waste. We need to start seeing who truly needs our funds and thats these sweet little innocent children who are DYING! It is just awful the world we live in. I am so glad that this whole situation has caused more awareness on this subject and yet I am still grieving with you on your loss.

    I hope your feeling God’s love, and it rains for you today.


  80. Thank you Maya, for your words and your strength. Thank you Taylor Swift, for your music. Thank you Ronan, for your courage.

  81. Maya, I don’t know how anyone can say anything hurtful to you. This blog is beautiful because of how raw and real it is.

    I found Taylor’s song so perfect, so fitting. It is the soundtrack to the four short years you spent with Ronan.

  82. Maya, I’m ashamed to admit that I hadn’t heard of your family and Ronan until I bawled my eyes out listening to Taylor sing the other night. Since then, I can’t get you all off of my mind. As a mother of 3, and my youngest, Max, only being almost an exact year younger than Ronan, I have literally cried till I was sick while reading your blog. Why God gives babies and children cancer, I.don’t know. Any adult would gladly accept the challenge for any baby. I’ve had a talk or 2 with God about this.
    My husband is in the Coast Guard and we are living in SD until next summer, (2013). Please please please let me know the next time you visit Coronado. Seriously I just want to hug you, say fuck cancer to your gorgeous face, and meet the most amazing mommy hero I’ve ever known. It sounds stupid, but I love you and will always pray for you and your family.
    PS. It rained in SoCal the other day. It never rains here. I smiled and said hello to Ronan ❤
    xoxoxo, Anne 🙂

  83. Maya, I am not a Taylor Swift fan and have not even heard the song for Ronan but the article in the Arizona Central brought me to your blog. You are amazing and Ronan and your family is blessed to have a strong, courageous woman in their life. It is your spirit and energy that gave Ronan his!! I am a RN here in Phoenix and sadly I admit I have never practiced pediatric medicine exactly for the experience you lived and are living with Ronan. Our children hold our heart and soul wether or not they are ours! Please keep us posted how we can help to contribute to the NB fight!! I am honored to have you in our city!
    Please know I will keep you, Ronan and your family in my thoughts always!!
    Thank you for sharing!!
    P.S. All the mean spirited things people have written or said will linger but please know the majority love and honor you!! Maggie

  84. Maya your an awesome person! This is the first time I have ever blogged or posted anything anywhere but your story completely touched me I am deeply sorry for what you and your family have been put thru but extremly proud of the courage you and your family have showed to make the best out of such tragic situation. Ronan was such a beautiful little angel and with does big sparkling blue eyes that have touched millions!!!! I work in a pediatric office and enjoy working with little ones they’re amazing never a dull momment and hearing about the amazing fight ronan faught againts cancer makes me want to persue my career as a pediatric nurse even more my dream is to someday work at a childrens hospital to help kids like Ronan. Wish you the best and God Bless!!!!! 🙂

  85. Maya,
    I stumbled on your story via Taylor Swift’s new song. I think this blog is testament to you, and your heart. Reading through these posts, from the beginning, to now, has touched me. Really touched me. I haven’t seen any of those negative comments, but I honestly don’t know how any body could turn something intended to be a release, a coping mechanism, into something deemed selfish. Well, I’d better get some sleep, it’s 3am over here :/ But remember this Maya, I think the fact that your story has spread all the way to Leprechaun land (Ireland) is testament to just how much little Ronan will live with us all. He really is flying Maya 🙂 You are all in my thoughts, dreams and prayers. All the best and keep strong

    Jimmy, Ireland

  86. I’ve been reading your blog since I saw Taylor perform your song in front of millions of people. I’ve been crying for you and Ronan. His story will be told through song by Taylor. You are an inspiration to many mothers who have kids who are suffering with cancer.

    You have made me realize how precious life is and how much i fucking complain yet there are kids are dying of Childhood Cancer. I made a promise to myself from now on, whenever I complain. I’m coming here to snap me back to reality because something so precious was taken away from a beautiful mother like you. You are my inspiration so is Ronan.

    Please don’t shed a tear for him, cry that he is around you, cry that he will always be around you because he will always be there for you whenever you are sad Maya. Just cry because he made your life better and now you are expecting another soul like him. Just remember he is with you every step, breath, air that you are. He is you in every part of you

  87. Maya, I love you in every way you have come at me through your blog, in the last 20 + months I’ve been reading. I hope that I have never come across negatively. Thank you for sharing your little Ronie boy with us.

  88. Maya, I’ve been following you since last March. I can’t stop thinking about you and Ronan’s beautiful song.
    I hope this brings awareness and most of all advancement to neuroblastoma research. Congratulations on Poppy and big hugs coming from our family in San Clemente to you and yours. Xoxo

  89. Maya,
    I have been reading your blog and sharing your story for quite some time now. When you started posting to watch SU2C – I had a great feeling that something special was about to happen…

    I am so so so thrilled that Taylor Swift wrote Ronan. It has touched millions of people and introduced your amazingly beautiful son to the world. Quite simply, you deserve it.

    This truly is unbelieveable and such a special gift – but it isn’t surprising to me. I always knew your words, honesty, and complete and utter love for Ronan would change this world. Never have I believed in something or someone more – which is ironic as i only know you through your blog. You are completely amazing and inspire me every day. My family and I will continue to support your fight as you tackle your next dream. 🙂

    Sending you so much love from Chicago…

  90. I came here yesterday after I heard about, then listened to, Taylor Swifts performance of “Ronan”. I can’t recall the last time I was so incredibly, heart wrenchingly moved. My son just turned 13 months and because of him and this brand new love in my heart I feel your pain and heartache in such deep ways. I’m so truly sorry you had to go through this, still go through this, will always go through this.

    A few years ago, when I lost my brother suddenly, someone told me ‘you will never get over it, but you will get used to it’. I wanted to punch them. I don’t want to get used to it, I wanted to shout! But it’s the truest thing I’ve heard.

    Be well. Ronan is now stuck in my heart, as are you, and I will hug my boy harder because of them and appreciate al the moments I can. Thank you to Ronan.

  91. I found your blog my a random click on a link about Taylor Swift’s newest song. I was moved by the story of this beautiful little boy who and decided to click on a link to your blog. I then spent the next hour in tears over Ronan’s story. I have 2 sons- 4 and 8- and all I can think about is the “How to Live Like a Rockstar” list. I am so guilty for taking my children for granted and fussing over and getting mad about the small things- legos on the floor, bed sheets messed up to build forts. What an f’ing idiot I have been! The honesty in your blog has opened my eyes to the mother I need to be. I need to forget about those small things and look at the big picture- life is precious and fragile and I shouldn’t be spending this time worrying about the things that don’t matter. I have two beautiful boys that I need to cherish everyday we have together. Thank you and thank you, too, Ronan, for helping me see the light and realize that we need to make everyday with our loved ones count. I am now a follower and I hope that Ronan’s message will continue to spread.

  92. Maya your an awesome person! This is the first time I have ever blogged or posted anything anywhere but your story completely touched me I am deeply sorry for what you and your family have been put thru but extremely proud of the courage you and your family have showed to make the best out of such tragic situation. Ronan was such a beautiful little angel and with those big sparkling blue eyes that have touched millions!!!! I work in a pediatric office and enjoy working with little ones they’re amazing never a dull momment and hearing about the amazing fight ronan faught againts cancer makes me want to persue my career as a pediatric nurse even more my dream is to someday work at a childrens hospital to help kids like Ronan. Wish you the best and God Bless!!!!! F U CANCER!!!

  93. Maya- this is the first time I have read your blog and cant seem to swallow because my throat is so choked up. What an amazing story you are sharing with people who need to know what is important in life. Has a mother ever loved a son so much? I don’t know your religious beliefs but need you to know I absolutely felt while reading your words that you will be with Ronan again. I believe families are eternal and that God has a plan for us to be with our families again after this life. Ronan is continuing his life on the other side of a veil God made as thin as he possibly could so we can still feel the presence of loved ones who have passed on. Explanations at the site have really helped me find peace on this subject and all the seemingly insurmountable obstacles life places in our path. Thank you for sharing you and Ronans story with the world. -Nikki

  94. Hi Maya…I have been reading your blog since Taylor sang the song and I’ve gone through a lot of posts and seen pictures of Ronan – and can I just say I’ve absolutely fallen in love with Ronan…. reading about your struggle to accept what happened, about the love you have for your little man…your pain – it has changed me. It has made me want to change this world, made me want to become a better person. I wish I could meet you in real life and hug you and cry with you…I have cried a LOT reading this blog. A parent should never have to outlive their child. Ronan was perfect. Maybe he was too perfect for this world. Your baby boy deserved perfection in life. And i hope and pray he has perfection where ever he is right now…even if you and his daddy and brothers aren’t with him, I hope he is laughing and playing. But I am also sure he misses you. You were a great mama to him. I admire your strength, I LOVE your ability to write and get your emotions across with your words (because not every one has that ability to convey what they are feeling)…you and your baby have changed my world, Maya. As a medical student, I promise you that I will do my absolute best to make sure another family doesn’t go through what you did. And I promise to be honest and be there every step of the way, so that families aren’t left coping on their own. I wish you happiness and peace.

  95. elementsofblindness Avatar

    Hi Maya…I have been reading your blog since Taylor sang the song and I\’ve gone through a lot of posts and seen pictures of Ronan – and can I just say I\’ve absolutely fallen in love with Ronan…. reading about your struggle to accept what happened, about the love you have for your little man…your pain – it has changed me. It has made me want to change this world, made me want to become a better person. I wish I could meet you in real life and hug you and cry with you…I have cried a LOT reading this blog. A parent should never have to outlive their child. Ronan was perfect. Maybe he was too perfect for this world. Your baby boy deserved perfection in life. And i hope and pray he has perfection where ever he is right now…even if you and his daddy and brothers aren\’t with him, I hope he is laughing and playing. But I am also sure he misses you. You were a great mama to him. I admire your strength, I LOVE your ability to write and get your emotions across with your words (because not every one has that ability to convey what they are feeling)…you and your baby have changed my world, Maya. As a medical student, I promise you that I will do my absolute best to make sure another family doesn’t go through what you did. And I promise to be honest and be there every step of the way, so that families aren’t left coping on their own. I wish you happiness and peace.

  96. I HATE CANCER! I’m so angry you lost your little man. And if there is a God, why did Ronan and other children have to suffer in pain? Be mad, Maya, and kick some ass! I will be mad too with you, and help get donations to help us fight childhood cancer, so hopefully there comes a day when these types of cancers are more treatable. A day when these precious little babies don’t have to endure all the
    torture that goes with trying to keep them alive

  97. Maya,
    I am a new follower and I am touched by your family’s story. Hang in there sweetie-keep your head up. Ro loves that beautiful smile on your face. I will deffinatley be spreading the word on ronan’s story and cancer awareness. God bless mama. Take care, Lauren. Orange,ca

  98. Maya,

    I am a huge fan of Taylor Swifts music, i always thought she created Awesome songs…
    It wasn’t until today not knowing she came out with this brand new song named “Ronan”..i was like “hey, the name alone sounds like this will be an interesting song” so i you-tube’d the song…not long after listening to the song i was reading comments about how this song is s true story…well here goes me i start researching and more and more about why this song was created and who is this beautiful “blue eyed boy” is she talking about…and than my final search came to you blogs….i was only two down and than i came to this one..because i know i would read from the beginning till now wanting to know everything…and this is sooooooo very touching and heart felt to see something like this happen…having a celebrity notice a tragic situation and actually did something about beyond amazing..i bet you never would have believed something good would have came out of this?…i know i never would have…after reading your story and what happened to you son i am deeply from the bottom of my heart sorry to hear this..i am 18 years old and i have two younger siblings (half siblings) a 4 year old sister, and a 1 year brother…they are pretty much my own kids at times i am always baby sitting them, spoiling them with taking them places..playing with them everyday at home..always there…so when i first read your story i instantly thought of my baby brother because those lyrics…”race cars, dinosaurs, blue eyes” describes my brother and one of your blogs saying how you would go out with him and just everyone would compliment on how awesome your son is…those are the very same things that happen with my brother…Soo…reading this i instantly thought about my family and than thought about i COULD not imagine what you are going through..we are that perfect family that you say you once had..but a piece of are still that perfect family Ronan is with you every single day of you life..he is always there watching over you..and he does watch over you..just reading your posts..about the rain..taylor swift…everything else these are good things that are coming out of bad..and it’s Ronan trying to help you move forward with him by your side…I know for a fact that if i ever lost my brother or sister from the tragic story you have went through..i know my family would be destroyed…my step mom would be exactly your position my father wouldn’t know what to do..because this is our only boy in the family..and myself..i would be destroyed because ever since i was little i always wanted a we are 17 years apart..but he is still my everything so is my sister….

    truly what i am meaning to say in this long message, is that i believe in you 100%…
    you have not done one thing WRONG in your are perfectly Amazing at who you are actually stronger than a lot of people that i know here…(i lost my close friend this year in a quadding accident.he hit a tree and died instantly, my best friends had to carry him out of the bush seeing his face the way it looked and remember that for the rest of their lives..he passed away this year may 24, 2012…this was our graduating year in june 23, 2012….i miss him every single day of my life…grad is suppose to be the time of your life..and i did exactly what you did..looked at everyone who was laughing and happy they had finish grade 12 and there was me sad inside that my best friend is not here with us walking that stage for the next step in our lives, i live in a very small town we lost a lot of students and close people from accidents two from drunk drivers and this one from quadding…we are such a small town that everyone knows everyone and you know when something terrible has happened and your heart goes out to everyone who has been affected by a tragedy)…so as a person who has seen and heard terrible tragedy yours is the first that is very touching to me and i will pray that you Maya become truly i mean truly happy again…if i can barely handle his passing i know i would be in way worse condition about losing family….

    I AM PROUD of who you have become through this strength it takes a lot just to wake up and roll out of bed every morning..that alone i am proud of you for, and i do not believe any of that bad mouth people have been saying about you..those words are true…and you are 100% RIGHT..follow your heart Maya follow it forever!!, because it will lead you to greatness with your life, you’ll see it may be really hard at first..but you will slowly grow into showing that smile again like you were with your son!!!

    Sorry for the long message…but i do like to talk…i have ADHD so when i talk i talk and it goes unorganized…long message short…You are amazing in every way i see you and read you as, i believe and support every step you make..and when you are having a bad day or it’s tough..tell yourself to “Just breathe” (and take a huge deep breath in, i don’t know if this will help but i have this tattooed on me and it helps me eveyrtime i struggle with something tough) and “believe” everything will be OK!! everyday is a gift that you are here today!! you have this strength and courage to wake up every and i admire you for everything you do!!!

  99. You are an inspiration to me and I will think about Ronan and every child that is suffering with cancer. No child should suffer with it. I say fuck you cancer for what you have done to any child or parent. Thank you for being so real on your blogs. You are an amazing woman who has an amazing mom to fight for him.

  100. I want to say that Ronans song I think it changed my life… I’m not from the states, I’m from this little country called Chile, but I’m a big fan of Taylor, so when this song was relased I need to listen it…. I know is crazy, we are millions of miles away but it touch me, like my soul…. it make wanna make a change, to help, God! how I whis I could live near so I could help…
    I want to tell you that I think you are a wonderful person, that everything you are doing is awesome and that I would love to meet your baby boy. So I gues now I will fight harder to my dreams (live in usa) and hopefully go there and help, maybe studing to be nutricionist is not a big, but I think I could make an efort.

    So… yeah bye!

  101. You are an amazing woman! I truly appreciate your honesty. You have definitely made a difference in my life and I have no doubt that you and Ro will change the world! You are in my thoughts and you give me inspiration every day. Thank you for braving this devastating tragedy and in turn helping so many people.

  102. I’m only fifteen but I know that you have to be a pretty amazing person to face life the way you have been and I am so humbled by this. You’re a true inspiration. Thank you.

  103. I shall hold a special thought for you and your family. Always….. Big hugs from England.

  104. Maya,
    My name is Aja and my son passed away with a stage 3 Neuroblastoma in 2007. He was only 4 1/2 months old and his name was Owen. He got really sick after his surgery as his tumor had grown around many blood vessels in his mid-section. It was the worst day of my life and I think of him every single day and smile at his pictures every day and my memory of his beautiful lifetime here. My daughter’s name is Mya too! She is 4 and my son Eli is almost 3. I feel like I miss Ronan with you while writing this. I am crying, but only because I understand so very very well. Your son is so beautiful and brave. I still feel like no child should have to be this sick, but they are special on this Earth. They just weren’t meant to be here for too long….long enough to know a lot of about love, freedom, and happiness, laughter, family…hopefully that overpowered everything else. Owen would be almost 5 years old now….I hope they meet each other (if you don’t mind me saying so). I hope and pray with all my heart that your children, baby and family grow healthy and happy and have a wonderful life together and I know more than anything Ronan will experience it with you all and so so much more….until we meet them again and never have to let go.
    My deepest sorrow for your grief, my greatest happiness for the love you share for Ronan and for his brilliant life ,
    Aja Daniel

  105. Hi there Maya, I’m Karl from wales, u.k an have just heard the song and the blogs. I think what your doing is amazing!! Keeping the memory of your little man alive!! And I’m sure within time ronan will be in the hearts of many other people all around the world 🙂 it’s well deserved.

  106. I just discovered your blog here via a friend who found you.

    The photos of your child are stunning, and your story, stunning as well. I am reminded by your situation that I have NOTHING to complain about, ever, ever again. I do not even know what it is like to have a child, let alone loose one. Loosing my parents was hard enough, but all I can say is thank you for your grace to share this. Anita

  107. What a beautiful story. You will change the world one day at a time. You and Ronan, and your family are an inspiration and have touched the hearts of many. You will do amazingly wonderful with all of the things that you accomplish, Thank you for sharing your story and changing my perspective of life.

  108. Romazing! You and Ronan (and Taylor too) are changing the world. Thank you for never giving up and sharing Ronan with us. FU CANCER!!

  109. Hi Maya- We don’t know eachother, but I just wanted to write and say how proud you should be of yourself, how proud I am of you for pushing through such a tough time in your life and doing something life changing and positive with all the emotions you go through – you are truly an example and an inspiration to others. The strength you have displayed in such a difficult time is truly amazing and I know it helps others to see someone triumph when faced with a difficult and heart wrenching experience. All of the hard work you have put into making others aware of neuroblastoma is clearly paying off. This morning I saw that “Ronan” is the #2 song sold on itunes. And to think you have only just started to Kick Neuroblastoma’s ass. Awesome job.

  110. god bless you Maya ..god bless you Ronan xxoo

  111. Like so many others I first came across Ronan’s story because of Taylor Swift’s beautiful and heart wrenching song. From there I searched his name and found your blog. I’ve sat here reading it for the past hour and can’t stop crying. I didn’t even know your beautiful boy and I can’t stop the tears and sadness from knowing he was taken from this world. I’ve never felt this heartbroken over the loss of someone I didn’t even know. I can’t even imagine how you have gathered the strength to go on. You truly are the strongest person I’ve ever heard of. I hope you continue your work with childhood cancer (because in my opinion it is the most tragic cancer. no child deserves that) and ignore anyone who passes judgement on how you deal with such a tragedy. No one deserves to tell you how to live your life after the loss of a child. I’m sure that’s something you can only truly understand if you go through it. I hope you can find joy in your other two boys’ lives and the new baby on the way! and i hope you know Ronan has now inspired millions all over the nation. There’s no doubt Taylor’s song just gave a huge boost to childhood cancer awareness and helped solidify Ronan’s memory in the hearts of millions. His story has helped me remember that we all must live our lives to the fullest for all the children who were robbed of the chance. For now all I can do is donate but after graduation I planned on pursuing a career in childhood oncology. I hope you know Ronan will be on my mind and be the little boy that pushes me to work harder and never give up on this dream. He has accomplished so much even after death. You should be a proud mama.

  112. Ronan is loved by the tumblr community, we will never forget him after hearing his story!

    He will NEVER be forgotten.

  113. As has been said previously, the Taylor Swift song has also introduced me to Ronan’s story. I have today been reading through some of your heartbreaking, yet beautifully written posts and I can almost feel a fraction of your pain. I cannot imagine what your life is like after loosing your beautiful boy! Please do not listen to the negative comments, I really dont understand these. Ronan, your twins and your new baby are all so blessed to have a Mummy like you. If I can do half as good a job as you are doing, that will be some achievement.
    I will not forget Ronan and I was never lucky enough to meet him. I too will be hugging my children a little tighter and vow never to take the every day things for granted xx

  114. I too began reading your blog after hearing Taylor’s song about your beautiful boy. I have sat at my computer crying reading your words. You are such a strong person. I can not even begin to understand how you feel. But because of you, I hug my children, ages 5 and 2 1/2, tighter every night. I cherish every moment with them. No matter what we are doing.

  115. Your son may not have had a long life, but he left behind a beautiful story…a legacy. There are many adult in this world that don’t measure up to that. Thank you for sharing what must be such a painful chapter in your life. I wish you comfort and happiness. You are making a difference just sharing. Don’t worry about toxic people and their comments. Misery loves company and people love to share their garbage. They can’t touch you if you don’t let them!

  116. You are a beautiful Brave woman…. Ronan I am sure is smiling down from HEAVEN!!!!

  117. Maya and Woody, We are Dani Rosetti Kalafat’s Mom and Dad. We had the pleasure of hosting you at Dani and Jason’s wedding in Scranton PA. We have fallen so deeply in love with your precious son, Ronan. We wanted to share our admiration and support to you both. Taylor Swift has just nudged aside Dean Martin and Elvis as our all time favorite performers. Your son had to have been a very special person , having parents like you two. All our love and prayers, Kathleen and Fred Rosetti.

  118. i loved reading all of this. i saw taylor perform that song on friday night and immediately picked up my phone to find out who that pretty baby boy in the background was.

    this is why i love the blogging community.

  119. Dear Maya:

    Although I don’t know how it is possible I had not heard of you and Ronan until the Taylor Swift song came out, somehow that occurred. I grew up in Phoenix, vacationed in summers at Coronado Shores and love the Hotel Del, and have even had a dear friend’s daughter go through two rounds of battling “C” as a very young child in the past few years. I was curious after the song was played, so I looked you and Ronan up online and found your blog. I read through every blog day you wrote since the beginning in one sitting since early this morning. There are no words to accurately express how I feel right now — something akin to breathtaking sadness mixed with uplifting inspiration. I have never written on a blog about anything to anyone before. Today I was inspired.

    A few years ago, I was having a “significant” birthday and was rather down about it and where my life was at the time. My friend’s daughter was having her second round of surgery/treatment after a relapse at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. I went there and spent my birthday there, at the hospital, with my friend and her family. How much more perspective could one receive? That was the most meaningful birthday I have ever had. Also, am so happy the daughter is now in remission and doing well.

    I am so sorry for the pain Ronan, you, and your family/friends went through, and the pain you continue to feel each and every day. What a bright, beautiful star that touched your lives. I believe that “stranger” who said his spirit went with you that day, that he remains with you — not “up there” far away somewhere. That’s all that could possibly make sense.

    Finally, I will say that based on reading your blog, I will make a concerted effort that when I pass someone one the street or elsewhere who has lost his/her hair and is clearly in the midst of the battle, that I will offer a friendly look and a bright smile. Inside, my heart can quietly recognize the emotion I feel, but outwardly I will show that I honor their courageous fight. Thanks to Rowan and you for teaching me that.

  120. I also learned about Ronan’s story through the Taylor Swift song which I have listen to a thousand or more time since buying it. I just felt compelled to reply for a couple reasons:

    1) I have never met someone who likes to use the F word (and other choice words) to add emphasis as much as I do so here it goes, FUCK YOU CANCER (and for those on here who say they don’t like cussing, good thing we live in a free country and you can read another FUCKING blog!)
    2) I have read your blog from the beginning and knowing the tragic outcome as I read made it one of the most devastating things I have ever experienced (but how I feel doesn’t really mean shit) BUT I am so, so, so sorry to you and your family! I cannot even begin to tell you how much love I am trying to send your way or just put into the universe hoping it will find its way to people like you and your family.
    3) I don’t have kids but I have nieces and nephews that I love more than my own life and I have hugged and told them I love them more as a result of reading your story (they probably think I am batshit crazy). So for what it is worth, thank you.
    4) I feel like we are somewhat of kindred spirits because I also like saying what I think (uncensored), some people love this about me and some people think it is a flaw. Those who think it is a flaw can choose to exit my life stage right (or left for that matter, just nicer way of saying fuck off). Honesty and sincerity (no matter how ugly) is never the wrong answer. Basically to sum that up, I love you as a person (because of, not in spite of what others (read: idiots) may label as your “flaws”) and I don’t even know you.

    I feel as if it is selfish for me to leave a response because it is something I am doing to make me “feel” better and will do nothing for you and the pain that you feel. I lost my father tragically when I was in high school and for a while thought that was the most pain I would ever feel. However, every child will lose their parents at some point and it sucked that mine was earlier than it should have been. BUT no parent should EVER have to lose a child, its not fucking fair, its not life’s grand design…it just fucking sucks! Lastly, just know that when I looked into your baby’s eyes I instantly knew I was looking at an angel. I will do something to further the cause and help bring awareness (but besides donating money, I just haven’t figured out what it is yet).

  121. Thanks for sharing this journey with the world. Your story is more than enough to bring this 40y/o to tears. Your strength even through your grief is a true inspiration, turning it into a movement makes it all the more amazing. That sweet angel of yours is surely smiling as he looks down at what his brave family is doing.

    What an amazing little man you had with you physically here on Earth, know that, he still lives, through you, your words, through the pics of his amazing smile and bright eyes. You and your army guy are and will continue to make a difference in the lives of not just those suffering with this disease, but with us who get busy and forget to spend the time we should with those we love, those of us who get consumed by things that ultimately don’t really matter and most importantly, those who will have their cancer detected early enough to save their life. This is all due to you, your family, and that sparkly blue eyed boy that I am sure could not be more proud of what you are doing.

    I pray one day the sorrow you feel gives way to the happiness you deserve. God Bless you and your wonderful family.

    Ronan, keep rocking…

    Oh yeah, and FU Cancer!

  122. The song did what it was meant to. It led me to this site and to seeing Ronan’s beautiful eyes and I’ll never ever forget them now that I’ve seen them. I just wanted to say that so that you’ll be better somehow because I know that it’s exactly what you want. I know it’ll get you closer to feeling some kind of peace that you deserve and your family deserves.

  123. Maya

    Like many others, I have come to learn about your amazing son because of Taylor Swift. I heard part of her song while I was pumping my son’s bottle for the next day. As I listened to the words I realized that the song was about someone special. Taylor Swift only writes songs that mean something to her; songs that touch her heart. Go figure, my husband never listens to lyrics…so I repeated them to him. He thought how horrible that would be….having to say good bye to your child.
    My father past almost 12 yeaars ago and I remember watching my grandmother mourn. I remember thinking how her husband died 40 years earlier and even then she never removed her wedding ring. And with the loss of my father her world was never right again. I often thought how horrible it would be to kiss your child one last time. Your blog really opened my eyes.
    I was pregnant 2 years ago and the baby’s heart stopped while I was pregnant, but much like it’s mother (hehe) the baby was too stubborn to miscarry. We waited forever and a day, but had to have a D&C. I felt shattered. Like life would never go on. My little one was due the day you gave Ronan’s body his last kiss. (I say his body because I’m sure that you dance in the rain as often as possible and blow him kisses that he is eager to receive). As I read more about Ronan I feel more and more connected to you and your family. I remember the anxiety and happiness that fills your heart with a new pregnancy. I remember the fears and what ifs. I also remember (and still hold on to) that my father will always watch out for my Greyson. That he will be safe and loved and that the spirit of his older sybling is watching over him with his Grandpa, protecting him. Know that Ronan will do the same for your Poppy. That Ronan will keep your little one safe from harm. Perhaps Ronan will even bring you a good rain on the day Poppy is born.
    I can’t wait to read more and to continue to hear your story.
    God bless you always and may your heart be filled with warmth forever.

  124. Just heard “Ronan” playing on the radio! KMLE 108. The DJ introduced the song and said it was inspired by a little boy right here in the valley. He said for more information go to their website… there’s a link to your RockstarRonan blog. I’ve been following your story since I heard Taylor Swift on Stand Up to Cancer. Praying for you and your family.

  125. You have the most beautiful baby boy! It makes me sick inside knowing that he was only able to be here for 4 short years. I’m sure you’ve heard this a million times but your story has changed my life. It has thought me to never take anything for granted and not to complain about the little things in life because you never know when then the things that mean the most to you will be swept away. Your little Ronan was truly a blessing to the world. Many prayers and much love got out to your family and Ronan<3

  126. If Taylor Swift had not written this song about your beautiful baby boy then I never would of found your blog. I have been reading your blog the last few days from the very beginning. You have given me such a different outlook on life now. I can never imagine what you must of went through everyday trying to save your son’s life. It makes me wonder what my parents went through. When I was born I looked like any healthy baby girl weighing in at almost 9 1/2 pounds. Turns out I needed open heart surgery because I was missing one of my heart’s walls. I have seen pictures of myself hooked up to multiple machines as I was recovering and I can’t believe it. I have seen been cleared by my doctors and they now say I have a healthy normal heart.

    A few years ago my oldest sister was dignosed with Metachronic Leukodystrophy (MLD), it is a rare genetic neurodegenerative disease that effects 1 in 40,000 people. There is no cure for this disease just like cancer and she will die from it. Because it is genetic I happen to be a carrier of MLD (If I have children they could be affected by this awful disease) and because of your story it has shed light that I need to do more then just sit around. I need to try to help with both your cause and mine too. I made the first step in the process today when I donated money to both the Ronan Thompson Foundation and to the MLD Foundation. I would of liked to donate more, but because I am a college student, my part time job doesn’t pay as much as I would like it to.

    Thank you Maya once again. I will forever be grateful for you that you helped me go in the right direction with my life.

    P.S. It is currently raining in Minnesota (where I live) and it reminds me of Ronan.

  127. You are an amazing woman and mother. thanks for sharing your story. She did a great thing for your Son and for the research/ cause to find a cure. Please don’t stop writing. That’s about all I can say.

  128. I have to tell you…I *just* discovered your blog, and I am not sure how I missed you considering I am an Az girl myself. I was watching the Stand UP to Cancer Special and heard “Ronan”. I bawled my eyes out hearing the lyrics, and knowing this had to be about a “real” boy..a “real” mother, whose heart had been ripped from her body. Then I saw the deep blue pools on the screen that are Ronan’s eyes…I lost it. My sweet 4 yeard old brought me tissues and asked me what was wrong. I have not been able to stop squeezing her with all of my might since I have discovered your family and your blog.

    Losing my little one is my biggest, biggest fear. I have friends whose babies have been battling cancer, so I have seen the ugly side of what can happen, that it happens to wonderful people, and that dammit, innocent babies die from this horrific disease. I have never felt “safe” or that it would not happen to us.
    Reading your blog and what you have experienced is my nightmare realized.
    I cannot tell you how sorry I am for your incredible loss. While I have only read up to May of this year, I admire what you have done so far, and want to contribute to Ronan’s cause.

    From one fellow Az mom to another…well, I have no words to do what I feel justice.
    Keep on being a warrior, and thank you so much for sharing.

  129. After seeing Taylor perform “Ronan”, and seeing his beautiful picture I just had to learn more about him. I have sat and read your blog these past couple of days from beginning to end. I’m not kidding when I say my eyes are nearly swollen shut from all the tears I have cried. My son Landon will be 4 next month, and he too has beautiful blue eyes like your Ronan. As hard as it was to read, because my heart was shattering for you with every single post, your story has definitely made me look at my babies in a whole new light. I can’t even tell you how many hugs and kisses I have given them since reading about Ronan. They probably think I have lost my mind ;). I loved their hugs and kisses before, but you have really given me a new appreciation for just how special EVERY single kiss and ” I love you” from them is. I lost my brother last June, just two days after his 33rd birthday from A.L.L. There is nothing right or fair about the way cancer can take someone who has always seemed perfect and healthy and just rip them right away from you. Your honest, raw emotions all throughout your journey have hit so close to home for me. My major cry fest has been exhausting, but also felt therapeutic. I tend to hold a lot of my feelings about my brother in, because once I allow myself to believe he really is gone it guts me all over again. I am much older than Liam, but when you described how he copes with missing his brother, and keeps so much in, I just thought how I totally get it.
    Thank you for sharing your beautiful fighter with us. His story is going to touch so many people and I am sure he would be so proud of everything you are doing to kick cancer’s bootie!

  130. Ronan’s story has affected me so much Maya you’re such an inspiration. I can’t believe people could be so cruel and said those negative things about you and Ro. How some people can be so cruel just astounds me. Keep doing what you’re doing and don’t let people like that get you down. Ronan’s song is beautiful very fitting for a beautiful boy like him. I promise to keep his memory alive I ordered some of the bracelets and plan to tell everyone I know his story. Cancer took my father&my uncle is battling brain cancer right now so this is something very close to my heart. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.

  131. Ronan is my hero, he was so strong through out all of this. He was such a cute child and would have grown up to be a handsome man that every girl would fall for. In my heart Ronan is still alive but you just cat see it, he’s still with you right by your side holding your hand while you cry. I wish the best for your family you all have changed my perspective on life. All I have left to say is thank you for sharing this and staying strong! xxxxxx.

  132. I am so grateful that Taylor Swift was able to share Ronan’s story with the world. Since hearing the song, I have read many of your blog posts. As a newlywed, I am constantly wondering when is the right time, if ever, for me to bring children into this world. Will I be a good enough mother? Will they be safe and healthy? Can I love them enough?

    A friend asked me today how I could be so captivated in something so sad as your blog when I tend to fear and expect the worst. But I have found so much beauty in reading of your love for Ronan. And I am inspired by your passion and drive to help others raise awareness and conquer his disease. I have asked anyone I know to listen and purchase to Taylor’s song, to read your blog and to donate to the Ronan Thompson Foundation.

    Those who have read it share my sentiments. I feel like I’ve gotten to know Ronan so well through your blog. I am so sorry that this tragedy happened and that your beautiful little boy is gone. It amazes me that you have the strength to help other families fight childhood cancer and that you can share your story so honestly with the world. I think there are many people who need to hear it. Clearly, Taylor was inspired by you story, as are many others.

    So I wanted to thank you. For creating beautiful Ronan. For loving him so immensely. For sharing both his life and his death with us. For being raw and candid with strangers.

    Incidentally, I told my friend that your blog had convinced me that I cannot wait to have a child of my own because of the fears and what ifs. Your true love for Ronan and your courage as you bring new life into the world has been an important experience for me these past few days as a reader. I’ve had moments, even away from reading your blog, that I’ve sat and mourned for your family. But you have also helped me find courage. I look forward to the day I will be a mother and know the kind of love that you have. And I will remember Ronan and love and appreciate my children so much more because of him.

  133. Your story just breaks my heart. Your Ronan is such a beautiful little man, and I am so sorry he was taken from you. I am sick, and because of that, i have never taken motherhood for granted. Your story has given me another reminder to hug my babies and appreciate every second I am blessed with them. I’ve always been afraid that it will be me who leaves them, that I never allowed myself to consider that life may not turn out that way. I can’t imagine your pain. I’m so happy that your beautiful writing has touched so many people. I am one of them.

  134. I heard about a song called ronan , when I heard it I wanted to know everything about the little warrior whom touched so many hearts I have spent the whole day reading your blog from the beginning , I still have more to read , you and your family are a true inspiration I just wanted you to know that , lots of love 🙂

  135. Maya, Thank you! Thank you from the very bottom of my heart. Your Ronan has changed things for me . Today, my son turned ten years old. It is the very first birthday I have made it through without crying. He was born very sick, and was later diagnosed with autism. His autism is on the severe end. I have never even heard him say a true word. Every year I look back at his birth with sadness in just remembering the day they whisked him away from me not knowing if he would make it. It has always made me so sad to remember that day and what my poor baby went through. This year was the first year I didn’t cry. I wasn’t even sad in the least. That was all you and your Ro. I have spent the past two days reading your entire blog. I have shared it with my husband and three other children. We listened to his song again tonight even while I made dinner tonight for my birthday boy. I can’t be sad in a memory of a bad day anymore. Not when I have my sweet and loving boy breathing and healthy. Not when it could have been different. I didn’t cry for the first time in ten years on this day because I was sharing your story and thanking the lucky stars that I got to kiss my baby boy on his birth minute tonight. I found a peace today that I have longed for. I will be keeping up and will do everything I can to share your story. Thank you for giving me a little perspective. I will never cry on his birthday again.

  136. emma ahmad tanjizi Avatar
    emma ahmad tanjizi

    Dear Maya.. I Dont think i’ve ever cried more in years except when my father died in 2008 n when i lost my unborn twins in 2002..

    I am a mother of 5 now with 4 daughters n my last one is a little boy who will be 4 in October. I really do not know what to say to express my thoughts n feelings cos i kept typing n deleting my words.. Taylor n Ronan brought me here n after crying my eyes out for days n night i decided to write to you to let u know that RONAN n u has reached me here in South east Asia.. More important is how both u n Ronan n your fight had touched me in a way i could never explain.. I feel so helpless n sad because i know no matter what i do or say wont take away your pain..

    BUT u know what MAYA? I think Taylor’s song is so right.. I see the miracle that u n your family alone were lucky enough to experience… Because i sure didnt get that miracle even how much or badly i want it.. Your family n especially U Maya r the ones chosen to receive n feel Ronan’s love… You r so lucky to be able to call Ronan your own even only for those 4 short years.. As for me n most of the people here could only read about Beautiful Ronan n longing to hug n cherish him even for a moment… I can only wish that Ronan is mine cos i dont know why my heart breaks so much thinking about him n u i just cant stop crying.. I have come to love Ronan n u know what Maya? it’s strange but i can feel him alive with with u all the way Maya.. watching after you..

    Anyway.., i am sorry for my english is not that good.. i just hope u understand what i wrote here.. I LOVE U RONAN XOXOX n u too MAYA.

    p.s. i got all my daughters – age 12,13,18,21 n i also left your link n story at a fb i created for my little man so that he’ll be able to read u up later on when he’s older. Your love story has changed me.. i now would do anything to help Cancer association here in my country as we r faraway from u.. i just wish i’m over there so i can volunteer at the centre u talked abt.. i think it’s a really wonderful place for the children.. God bless.

  137. Maya, I want to say that my heart and prayers go out to you. On Dec. 8, 1993 I had to say good bye to my baby girl Heather Elizabeth due the fact she lost her fight with cancer(she died of neuroblastoma stage 4). Just like your little guy my daughter fought with her whole being to beat the cancer but the cancer won out. I still miss my little girl to this day even though ti has been almost 19 since we had to say good bye to my precious little girl. You will miss ronan very day. I hope that you can remember him for all the love he gave you

  138. Hello Maya. I’m an Asian 23 year old Mom of a cutie huggable and bubbly boy, who happens to read your blog just yesterday. I’m an avid Taylor Swift fan, and when it comes to my attention that she releases a new song, entitled “Ronan”, all I think was “I really need to download it, because I’m a fan.” Then I came across her YouTube performance of the song and I don’t know why I was such in pain. Maybe the words that filled my ears go directly through my heart. I happened to understand it when at the ending; I saw a picture of a gorgeous boy with those sparkly blue eyes that feels like he’s staring at me.
    When I saw that picture, I quickly search about to whom Taylor dedicated that song and I saw your blog. I saw everything you wrote, I think I almost feel the pain you felt while writing it. You know Maya; I feel I’m terrible Mom. Whenever my son, has done something wrong, I always told him I don’t love him to make him follow or do what I want. I always have a tendency to hurt him when he did something that makes me pissed. Then I’ll tell him sorry, and the other day I’m the same. When I read your story, I feel terrible and I can’t stop crying even now. I don’t know that it seems like I became a monster to my own child, when at the other part of the world, there is someone, trying to do everything, promising everything, just to make his son alive. Sometimes I blame myself for bearing him not at the right time. I had him when I was 19 years old and his dad never (doesn’t really have an intention to) marry me. I love my son, but sometimes it feels that I’m not ready for this life.
    Thank you Maya, thank you for the lesson you’ve teach me. Thank you for your and Ronan’s love story. Now I’ll cherish every moment I’m with him. Maybe I can also let him be dirty as long as he wants, or he can swim at the malls flooring if he feels to. Thank you for your story. You & Ronan were my angels who open my eyes and let me know what I’m missing in this life, the blessings of having my son beside me.
    God bless you and your family.

    Love from the Philippines,
    Rona Joana Anoran

  139. I dont even know what to say, but I hope it goes well, and that somehow, you can read this. I’ve sitting here and reading your blog while listening to the beautiful song, that the amazing Taylor Swift, which has the most amazing heart, wrote for your baby boy. While reading I couldnt help but crying. Your story, Ronan’s story, your love, the magic of the true love just made me realize that somethings in life never disappears, never dies. Ronan left this world, but what he meant is still here with you, your family, Taylor, and now.. Us. Ronan is helping so many people now, you’re being such an inspiration to so many people. Isnt over when something or someone dies, is just the beggining. Ronan and his big blue eyes, eyes that took my breath away, are looking for you, your kids and your husband. Wanna thank you for changing so many things in my mind in just a few hours. Truth to be told, cancer brings the worst to me, my grandpa died by cancer too, I was avoiding to hear the song, and as soon as I started reading and listening all the stuff about you and Ronan, Im even sure that a lot of kids, which I call angels, deserve all the atention to fight cancer. Ronan will help them out, we will. Im from Brazil, and I wish you all the strenght in the world. No mother or father are supposed to lost their kids, I’m so sorry. Hope you can still smile for your other kids, and think how happy Ronan would be to see you smiling. I do too. Now all my problems seems so small, I feel a lot better, stronger. I’ll always read your blog, and I’ll always look at the rain in a different way from now. Actually it’s raining, say hi to Ronan for me. Take care, Maya, and thank you… Once again.

  140. Brought here by Taylor too.

    That song is just captures all your emotion and pain and Ronan’s short life so beautifully. I hug my boys tighter everyday and cover them in kisses (hell we even lick each other sometimes because we are a little crazy like that!). My oldest is the same age as Ronan and we’ve been through open heart surgery, speech therapy, occupational therapy and he is our amazing little buddy for getting better with all that stuff everyday. I can’t imagine life without him and it fucking sucks that Ronan was stolen from you and that he’s not here to do all those awesome things little boys do. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your family.

    Ronan is a beautiful little rockstar! I love reading when you wear your awesome “fuck” tees (Particulary “fuck you you fucking fuck”) – no wonder Ronan was such a rockstar with a mama like you!

    I hear you on the god bullshit too – fif there is a god then fuck him for taking my Mum away from me, making my baby’s heart sick, giving family members of mine and my husband’s cancer and amazing wonderful children like Ronan (and Kyah who I never met and will never forget, taken by neuroblastoma November 2008 nearly three years old)

    Fuck you cancer

  141. People say the most ridiculous things when they are on the outside of grief. When they are literally on the outside; because no matter how much they hurt FOR you, they can never hurt with you, in the same way you hurt.

    My brother died seven years ago. It wasn’t cancer, but he was gone in a flash. I remember my mom saying a couple of years ago that she never stops missing him, but that eventually it hurts less.

    It does feel like they’ve been gone longer than they have been alive.

    I only just heard of your story through Taylor Swift. And I’ve been reading it for the last few days. I just wanted you to know that even though your heart has been taken from your chest, there are so many people rooting for you and everything you’re going to accomplish for chilhood cancer research. It’s so clear that you’re a fighter. It’s so clear that despite the uncontrolable sadness, you want to do something great so no one else hurts the way your family is hurting. A dark, black heart? My God, no. You have a heart of gold. Pure, honest desire to stop this evil disease from taking someone else’s life, someone else’s baby; someone else’s brother, sister, neice or nephew, grandchild, friend.

    I’ve been tucking your family into my heart and prayers.

  142. Maya, a beautiful song for such a sweet lil man!! God Bless you, and your entire family. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. I am a mother of three boys, my oldest son is 11. He told me on the way to school this morning said his fav artist had a new song out he wanted me to hear. I don’t think I was prepared as he reached for my hand he held my hand as he says mom your gonna love it, but you will cry. We both did!! Thank you so much for sharing Ronan with us!! My love to you all!!

  143. You are an amazing woman, with an amazing family with an absolutely amazing Ronan. There is no way he will ever be forgotten, no way he will not touch someone’s soul. Both you and he will find this cure so that no one ever has to go through this pain. Don’t ever doubt yourself, don’t ever stop. Because of you and Ronan I have been touched and I will never be the same. Thank you thank you for sharing your life and your Ronan with me!

  144. I am sitting here crying and just now hearing about what a wonderful loving mom and family you have. Your son may he rest in peace was as lucky to have you as you were to have him! I pray that the people who couldn’t, wouldn’t or weren’t kind to you during this time will open there eyes and hearts and realize they were wrong. The song was so beautiful and a wonderful tribute to your son. I praise you for writing to him everyday and always saying what’s on your mind. Thank you for sharing Ronan with us!! xoxox

  145. Stephanie Robbins Avatar
    Stephanie Robbins

    Thank you for sharing such a beautiful, bittersweet story. I have a 3 year old son myself, who looks like your beautiful son, and your story makes me want to appreciate him everyday so much more in a way that I never have. Your story is one of strength and grace and unspeakable pain that I don’t think I would ever be able to get through. I just wanted to thank you for sharing your story, and while I’m sure the pain never quite goes away, I hope you will learn to live with and be at peace with it.

  146. Jackalyn Colpitts Avatar
    Jackalyn Colpitts

    Thank you for baring your soul to us. Thank you for sharing your baby’s short, but full life with us. Thank you for your honesty. So many times you hear grieving people say, “this is God’s plan” or some other cliche thing. Maybe it is, but it still fucking sucks and it’s so relieving to hear someone say all the ugly things you feel in the process. F U cancer

  147. im going to sound like the rest of them. and even if you dont respond. i hope you realize this and know that i am typing this with a face full of tears and a table full of snot tissues. I am fortunate (knock on wood) to have never lost someone. never. my mom had cancer last year august and just the fear and pain and just loss of control is unbearable. fortunately she beat it and i cherish everyday. and i read your words and i feel so much of what you feel. I just. i cant find the words to make you understand that a story like yours, Ronans and your familys has from the bottom of my heart changed me. I just wish that i could express enough emotion through these words that dont do them justice that i can feel your pain. and i can feel your love. i am really scared of one day having to deal with a grandparent passing or an aunt or uncle. i can 100% say with confidence it is the one thing i am scared of. if im a blubbering mess reading your story i can imagine…. your just so strong and i wish that just an ounce of your strength is in me. and i can handle it like you. i understand that Ronans spirit really does live on and it gives me the warmest feeling.
    with all the truest and most honest thank you, Alyssa Padilla

  148. Maya-

    I have been reading your blog since I saw a shared blog on my Aunt’s facebook that said “Please pray for my friend I went to school with and her little boy. he was just diagnosed with cancer and him and his family could use our prayers.” Since then I have “stalked” this blog. I have cried, prayed, and thought of you all often. I kiss my kids more, I fear the loss of my kids more and I pray that this doesn’t happen to any other kids more each and every time I read your blog. You write so pure and with such heart and I knew from the first time I read your blog that Ronan was something special and that this story was going to make a difference. And as it should! You are an amazing person and an even more amazing mom. I strive to love my kids as hard as you love yours. Those same rains you were writing about last week, I took my 2 year old and scooped him up and ran outside and just stood in the rain and watched the rain fall from the sky… (my son had thought mom had LOST it since this was the first time ever to just “be” in rain) I just helt him while jumped from puddle to puddle just to make him laugh. I wouldn’t strive to expierence EVERY simple pure expierence we possibly can because of you and that amazing BEAUTIFUL little Ronan who has stunning blue eyes just like my son’s. THANK you for writing your heart out on this blog and teaching me that every day may be my last with my kids so go run in the rain, laugh at the little things and don’t fret if things aren’t perfect. When I heard Taylor was going to write a song about Ronan I was proud… I don’t know you personally but I was proud for Ronan and proud that his HUGE story was going to make it big and open up more awareness to fight childhood cancer! Those blue eyes will pierce the hearts of many! Thank you for your blog it has already done so much.

  149. My name is Haneen im 13, iowaIt does make me cry even when I here his name before I herd about the wounderfull song I saw this so when I herd it was #1 it made me think if she wrote this about him and how much she cared for him and he’s in our hearts forever ❤

  150. Haneen 13, Iowa He’s always in our hearts and so are you if I lost my mother I could understand the trouble you’ve been through and how far you amazing story has gone
    In our hearts forever ❤

  151. Maya,
    Ronan has touched so many people, as have you
    You guys are going to change the world of pediatric cancer
    And you have MILLIONS of people behind you.
    Stay strong

  152. I just want you to know we are all in this together. You might not know us, but of course we know you very well and your great love story. We are there to share the grief with you.

  153. […] until last week whenSwift debuted the song at the Stand Up to Cancer 2012 telethon. Now, in a new post, Thompson describes what it felt like to receive a call from Swift, hear that her son would be […]

  154. I am not sure I can find the words to say that’s in my heart. I’ve had a lot to touch my heart in my life but this has touched me more than words can say. The blog and song has made me cry more than anything else in my life. This has made me realize how I take everything for granted and that I need to love more and stress less. This has opened my eyes so much it’s unbelievable. Maya I hope that someday you will find peace somehow. I am sending much love to you and your family.



  155. I wondered why it was raining so much in AZ this summer. Now I know it was Ronan. My good friends the Pinner have a daughter who had cancer and was receiving treatment at PHX childrens. I wish there was more then I could do then just donate.

  156. Hi maya,
    I am very inspired by your story. I dont know how you still do it. Get up in the morning and manage to keep your life stable. I know how hard it is for you and i absolutely admire how strong you are especially with the pregnancy. If i were in your position, i dont even know how to wake up in the morning. Whenever i listen to Taylor Swift’s song about your beautiful little boy, i always find myself in tears. And thats how i came across your blog.

    I would love to do a fundraiser about kids with cancer and get your story recognized here in my hometown. If you do read this, send me an email 🙂

    Xoxo Lea

  157. My dearest Maya.

    I listened to Taylor’s song and I just tought somehow my words could help you, even if they were totally wrong somehow. Let me tell you that you are absolutely not selfish. You’re just not like those stupid persons that hide their own pain, trying to be happy just by ignoring it, their own feelings. That’s not how it works! It’s stupid. So stupid. Feelings are made to be known and shared, that’s it.

    You’re the greatest mother I’ve ever known. The greatest. And Ronan is the sweetest, shining, pure and innocent criature I’ve ever known. Thank you for sharing Ronan with us. Thank you, Maya, ’cause you and your beautiful son changed lifes. Real lifes. And that’s the prove that you’re not selfish, even in the littlest thought.

    Keep going on, please. Keep going. I love you and your beautiful family so much. I hope you recive all my love, and that it helps you. Because it’s real and beautiful, as Ronan was. So beautiful that brings me tears to my eyes. He is in our hearts and souls forever.

    Love and hugs from Spain.

  158. Maya,
    Reading this blog and hearing Ronan’s story is something that is going to stick with me forever. You have a beautiful baby boy who I believe is truly an angel. Look at all he is doing, look at what both of you are doing. You are an angel too. You are such an inspiration.

  159. Maya,

    I found your blog after hearing Taylor perform at the Stand Up for Cancer charity event. I saw Ronan’s beautiful face on the screen and just had to read more about it. The blog, and song have touched me deeply. Every time I hear the song, or even read a post I can’t help but cry with you. I’m so sorry you only got to spend four years with such a strong amazing man. In your post on September 12 you said you wanted to inspire nurses to go into pediatric oncology so kids will have the best people taking care of them. I wanted you to know that Ronan has inspired me to do so. I’m starting my four year journey to become a nurse this fall, and if I can impact the families and children battling cancer in a way Ronan impacted me then I know my career will be fulfilling.

    Thank you for sharing your story,
    Lots of love

  160. Hi Maya,

    I just discovered your blog after reading the NYTimes article about Ronan and Taylor’s song. I have spent my whole day thinking of you, your family, and your sweet baby. What a beautiful tribute you have created- as raw and heartwrenching as it is. For as many people who have said horrific things about you, I’m here to say that your raw and unabashed words are so much more powerful than half of the mindless bullshit on this internet. Thank you for sharing your very real story with us. I am holding you and your entire family in my heart.

    I will never stop thinking about Ronan.

  161. Hi Maya,
    I cried when I heard Taylor’s song about your dear little son. I cried for the loss of such a beautiful child and I cried because he looked so much like my younger son did at that age. My Eric lived until he was 26, so I guess I am lucky to have had him for so long.
    I know your pain and I know that it somehow evolves, but is always a part of us.
    My thoughts are with you. Your little Ronan will be remembered by many who try to make childhood cancer a distant memory.

  162. I was watching the telethon that day and heard the beautiful song Taylor sang. I was crying the èntire timé. He was a beautiful little boy. I can’t imagine this ever happening to my kids. I am so glad she sang this song for him and can bring awareness to this horrible disease that takes away such sweet little boys like Ronan.

  163. I first heard Taylor Swft’s song on the radio and almost broke down right there before school. I heard it again and I then YouTubed it to later read every dang word of the song and to finally see your little boys face. I was filled with such emotion. The empathy got the best of me and I sobbed. I weaker for you and your husband. I weeped for Ronan’s brothers. And I weeped for Ronan. I wish I could explain to you in words of how beautiful Ronan is. I swear to you that I do not say this because he is no longer with us, but because he was truly breath taking. I heard his laugh, and I saw him smile, and those are things that you will never forget no matter how much time passes. He seemed remarkable to me. He was so young and yet he knew to fight so hard for his life. I want everybody to be able to listen to this song, and realized that the work can be cold, but it can be so warm at the same time. Your time to see Ronan will come again. And what a glorious day that will be. He’s never far away. He is right in your heart, in your head. He’s all around you, and always will be till the day you two are reunited. Unlike most people that have to live their lives for a while to prove to god that they are worthy, Ronan didn’t. He was already perfect. ❤
    Age 16

  164. Hi Maya, husband, twins, and sweet Ronan. I love love love love love your blog. Cancer fucking sucks and it’s not fair and it’s about time someone said it. I found your page via Taylor’s amazing song, and you’ve got a dedicated supporter now. Buying a shirt now (and a ton of those amazing bracelets) and plan to spread Ronan’s name far and wide. Let’s kick cancer’s ass 🙂

  165. This left me speechless. I can’t even begin to understand how much your family is going through…in my prayers.

  166. This has touched our family so much, I am a mother of 3. My 11 year old son and I heard the song the 1st time and tears were streaming down our faces the whole time. My oldest son grabbed our 4 yr old and held him tight. He said mom I’m saving all my allowance and giving it to the Ronan Thompson foundation. Your family and Ronan inspire so many everyday. I can’t put it into words how sorry I am for your loss. I know you are doing great things and will continue to, with Ronan helping you all the way, as the brightest most beautiful star in the sky!

  167. I have been wanting to write something to you but I can’t seem to form the right words because I know there’s nothing I can say to make anything better or give you back that most beautiful boy you lost. I can only imagine how you feel as I have sat in my bed all weekend with Taylor Swift’s “Ronan” on repeat reading your blogs and sobbing because I have a beautiful little blue eyed blond haired almost 4 year old precious boy that in some ways remind me so much of the most amazing little man you lost in the worse way a mother could lose a child. I worry every single day my kids will get sick and I could NEVER imagine my life without them and going through the pain that you’ll never really heal from because losing a child has to be by far the worse pain any mother could ever feel! You and your son’s love story will forever be embeted in my heart and you guys have tought me the true meaning of life and how precious every second of every day is. Your doing amazing things Ronan and Maya and there are millions of ppl in this world that are so unbelievably proud of you! You truly are shinning a light on childhood cancer and you should be so proud of yourselves! I know I’m just 1 little voice but I hope I can help a little and spread the word to every person I know. Although I don’t have much money I’m trying my best to donate in as many ways as possible so that way in the future it will make a difference! Keep moving mountains Ronan and making it rain where it needs to!! Oh yeah, FUCK YOU CANCER!!!! 🙂

  168. kristen mcgrady Avatar
    kristen mcgrady

    I have been following ur blog ever since i heard the song ronan. i cry every time. i have watched the videos over an over…i am now a senior from alabama… i thought i had my whole life planned out to be a neonatal nurse an work with premature babies. but ronans story has touched my heart an made me realize what the poor babies goes threw with
    cancer. I would love to work with cancer babieh
    s an kids justlike

    1. kristen mcgrady Avatar
      kristen mcgrady

      Meant an kids just like ronan. you and ur family has changed my look on cancer… an probaly changed my perfection due to this story…. thanks you for sharing this. r.i.p ronan

  169. How I love that my own daughter (22 yrs old) is named Maya. What perspective you offer others thru your writing. We not know what each other is going thru. I hope each day gets a little easier to bear for you. Such beautiful words…

  170. Thank you for the gift of your son. What a beautiful, heart wrenching story. I am forever changed because of you and Ronan. God Bless…

  171. Hello, my name is Mickey.I’m 13. I read about Ronan in m-magazine, and as I read about him I began to cry.My dad has follicular lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphnodes.I know how it feels to go through the terrifying sight of someone you love being sick.Luckily, my dad has been in remission for about two years.Butt, sadly Ronan wasn’t as lucky.Now I am thankful for every single smile I get from my dad because I never know what could happen.

  172. Maya and your family,
    I’m 9 years old and I cry every time I hear Ronans song.I’m really touched that you and your family are still hanging onto Ronan. I love Ronans pretty blue eyes.You are the best family that I have ever met.Ronan is so cute I love him.I know Ronan is in heaven right now.Keep hanging onto Ronan.I love all the pictures of Ronan they are so cute .My favorite is the one with Ronan and his brothers.:) They are all so cute.But of course Ronan is the cutest out of the 3.I am so very proud of you Maya.I can just hear Ronan and you talking to eachother.I feel like crying and then picturing Ronan still alive sing “Ronan”.Please let a miracle come to you,you deserve it!!!!!!So does your family.Maybe maybe that miracle is about Ronan.God bless you Taylor.Maya I love the part in the song where it sings “Come on baby with me were gonna fly away from here out of this curtain room in this hospital gray we’ll just disappear you were my best 4 years”:, .The other part I like goes like this ‘come on baby with me were gonna fly away from here , come on baby with me were gonna fly away from here you were my best 4 fears, I remember your bare feet down the hallway I love you to the moon and back”Great job you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I love you and hang in there to all the Thompson family!

    Hang in there,

  173. I every time emailed this website post page to all my contacts, for the
    reason that if like to read it then my contacts will too.

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