All Good Things Are Wild and Free
The sky in Phoenix last night was the most beautiful shades of blue that I have ever seen, the most gorgeous blue, just like your baby’s beautiful eyes. I felt him last night and cried for both of you. I was in my car driving home from the store and had to pull over, I was taken in. I thought of Ronan when I looked into the sky and the Our Father by David Hykes and the Harmonic Choir began to play on the radio. It was quite amazing. I have a four year old son that is a patient of PCH. When I arrived home, I told him about Ronan. We hugged and said a prayer. We carry your strength with us daily and we hope to be as brave as you in life. Thank you for sharing your joy and pain. Your words and actions are inspiring. I am a mom who carries a ton of fears and I hope to release them all someday. I know I am missing out because of them. I am trying to let go. You will always have your sweet boy with you, he is a true angel now. I was walking to Chloe’s Corner at Kierland Sunday and thought of you both, I remember you said you would go there. Your spirit is around us, I will remember you daily even having never met you. I am praying for you and your boys. I believe they will get you through this as unthinkable as it is. They need you too. You are so incredible to be there for them, to be laughing with them. The world could use more people in it such as your family, good, true, real, and loving. What a better place it would be. I wish you a new happiness, a new normal, Maya. In time, it can be yours. And Ronan will be a part of it. He is in you, a part of you. Nothing can take that away. I hope you can feel my arms around you, I am sending a hug. I have not lost my child, but I do know the heartbreak of watching an illness take over your baby, to see the pain and watch them suffer. Thank you for fighting for the other children in Ronan’s memory. It will make a difference. You also will be someone’s angel. You already are, Maya.
Maya, you don’t know me but I’ve been following your blog for a little over a month now. I cry for you often and I’m so terribly sorry for your immense loss. I have no words of comfort, except that I believe you were right when you said perhaps Ronan was too perfect for this world. That doesn’t make it fair or right though. I won’t pretend to know what you are going through. That would be an insult. However, through reading your blogs, I realize what an amazingly strong woman you are. You don’t feel that way now and I know it’s hard as hell just to get out of bed each day. However, you still do it. I can’t say that I could ever be that strong.
I also firmly believe that Ronan is with God, and that he is giving you signs that he is watching you and that he is ok. All the signs the anonymous writer wrote to you about, I truly believe are from Ronan. I pray for you and your sweet family every day. Bless you Maya.
This song has always touched me but since Ronan’s story entered my life this song means so much more. I can’t hear it without tearing up. I have actually been wanting to post this on this site but couldn’t find the courage. I am glad you did.
I have two young daughters, ages 4 & 5. The other day we rockin out to their favorite cd and specifically to what we call our theme song and although I have listened to it hundred’s of times, it suddenly made me think of you and your sweet boy… It took on a whole new meaning and it certainly made me hug my baby girls close.
Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life, with you
Long long live the walls we crashed through, how the kingdom lights shine just for me and you.
I was screaming long live all the magic we made, and bring on all the pretenders, I’m not afraid
Singing long live, all the mountains we moved,
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.
And long long live that look on your face,
bring on all the pretender, one day….we will be remembered.
Thank you so much for posting this. I have heard this song a million times and it is one of my Taylor Swift favorites and this post connected with me and brought me to tears. Long live rockstarronan.