Dear Cancer,

I will never love you. You will never be my friend. You have taken my beautiful life and ripped it into shreds. I have watched you hurt my child over and over again. You have taken his beautiful strong body and tried to weaken it, his bright blue eyes and tried to dim them, his fierce spirit and tried to kill it. I have watched the tears he has cried, the pain he has felt, and the sadness you have brought. I have watched the way you have taken away our time together as a family, how you have tried to break us, how you have tried to rip us apart.

Do you see me? Do you see the pain in my eyes, the thousands of tears I have cried, the fear on my face? Do you know what it is like to have your worst nightmare come true and to not have any control over the outcome? What it’s like to watch the people around you be scared and feel your pain too? To watch them as they either choose to stay in your life or run the other way? The lessons you are teaching me are insightful indeed, but I would rather have learned them by being educated on Childhood Cancer. Not because you were going to put my baby through this.

Now, I sit and wait and fight. I have no choice but to take the lessons along the way with dignity and grace. To find the beauty in the ugliest days. You want to break me, but you won’t. You want to take my child, but you can’t. I will stop at nothing to destroy you and all you have done to our family. I will cry my tears in the shower and you may knock me down, but I will get back up. The love I have for my son will get him through this; that I can guarantee. Someday, I will show you whose boss. Someday people will start paying attention and cures will be found. Until that day, I swear to you that I will stop at nothing to get rid of you forever.

I feel sad for you because you must not know what it is like to have a mother’s love. A love so deep and pure, that it can conquer anything. A mother’s love will get you through the toughest storms and keep you warm the entire time. A bond so strong, that it can survive the toughest waters. Each time I kiss the top of my baby’s bald head, I think of you and what you have done. Don’t you know that this child is half of me? Our bond is so unbreakable that it is if we are one. So, when you decided to pick him, you picked me as well. And I will stop at nothing to protect him and get him well.

So Cancer… I think it’s time for you to go. You are not welcome here and I hope you are prepared to lose this fight. We are much too strong of a team for you to destroy. You have made your mess and we will happily clean it up. When all is said and done, and you are gone forever we will go back to living our life the way it was before. Except this time, nothing will be taken for granted and the simplest things will now be the most beautiful. We will live everyday knowing how lucky we are to have the most 3 most important things: Love, Health, and Thankfulness. Life will once again be carefree and joyful. And although our wounds are deep; they will heal over time. We will get our life back as a family, before you came here like a Tornado and turned our lives upside down. Each day that passes by, is a day closer to getting rid of you forever. You have burdened our lives only to bring us more beauty than we ever knew existed. I really wish I could say thank you for all of this but I cannot. I am going to say a big Fuck you to you instead. SO FUCK YOU CANCER!!!!!!!!!!! Have a really beautiful night. And no sweet dreams to you.

Sincerely not your biggest fan,

Maya M. Thompson

Rockstar Ronan’s Mom

rockstarronan

February 24, 2011

anger, arizona, Arts, bald heads, best friends, bonds, brothers, bullshit, Cancer, Chemotherapy, childhood cancer, Conditions and Diseases, faith, Family, fuck you cancer, Health, Neuroblastoma, Organizations, pain, Parenting, Phoenix, relationships, Rockstar Ronan, sadness, sickness, strength, tears, truth, twins

16 responses to “Dear Cancer,”

Tweets that mention Dear Cancer, « ROCKSTAR RONAN — Topsy.com

February 24, 2011 at 11:26 pm

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Skyler, Maya Thompson. Maya Thompson said: Dear Cancer, http://wp.me/p11K5q-BY […]

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Michelle Bielat

February 24, 2011 at 11:30 pm

Go Maya Go!!! You are at the home stretch and rounding second base, you will all make it to the home plate, you may slide like a crazy girl, and Ronan will throw his hat in the air, but you will touch the plate and reach victory, that I am sure of!! Maya and Ronan 10 and Cancer a big fat ZERO!!!

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Michiko Lindsey

February 24, 2011 at 11:35 pm

FUCK YOU, CANCER!!!!

Michiko and Kimiko Lindsey-Schroder

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Mary D

February 24, 2011 at 11:43 pm

Wow – cancer has just taken a whoopin and is cowering in the corner. Brandish your light saber and finish it off! You amaze me with your ability to verbalize the ugliness and anguish of it all-but your your determination and resolve come through even stronger! Who da f*^k gonna mess wit you??? Praying for Ronan………….and all of you.

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Rita Dickinson

February 25, 2011 at 8:48 am

Beautifully written, Maya.
Stupid fucking cancer.

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Laura

February 25, 2011 at 9:08 am

Wow, that was amazing. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Ronan will beat this ugly cancer. So glad he got an official light saber for the battle. You all are an amazingly strong team….keep up the fight.

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Kimball Arnold

February 25, 2011 at 10:09 am

Not willing to allow Oprah to ignore this story, I have alerted Dr. Phil. I included the post – Dear Cancer to help get his attention.

Dear Dr. Phil,
My name is The Rev. Kimball Arnold and I live in Prescott, Arizona. Though I have never met Ronan Thompson or his Mother, Maya, Father, Woody I do know his Grandmother Kay Thompson. I was alerted by a friend back in August 2010 to Ronan’s plight. and have faithfully followed his fight with cancer through the daily blog Maya writes. The posting below tells a story of the fight and pain this family endures 24 hours a day, 7 days a week as well as they pain they endure.
What is happening to this family and all families of children with cancer is devastating. Cancer, its treatments, surgeries and everything that goes along with childhood cancer is destroying families who are trying to fight cancer in their children. As I have read of all the Thompson family has gone through I see a greater picture of all families and their plight. This is not meant to be but it happens. Somehow through all the pain and trials families are strong and they do survive, but not all of them. Some of the children die no matter how hard the child fights to stay alive or how hard and how many resources the families use to try to save their child. Doctors, nurses and technicians in hospitals, doctor offices are dealing with great pain and suffering on a daily basis and they work in environments of tremendous pain through the process as their patients either go into remission and live or die. This truly is a serious matter. Funds and financial resources are not available to all families of children with cancer. This is a darn shame.
I pray for Ronan Thompson, his family and all families and children with childhood cancer daily and pray for resources to help them survive, not just loving families but a medical community who has the resources to discover cures. No child deserves these fights and though we all learn life lessons from their experiences, these are painful lessons for all. No parent wants to give up the fight as no child wants to give up the fight – oftentimes it is beyond their control and not part of the bigger plan. However, no one wants to see a child suffer they way children with cancer do.
One has only to read Maya Thompson’s blog to get a glimpse into the world of families fighting cancer in their child. Maya has offered the world a look into their lives these past many months. The world needs to become more aware of the suffering a tragedies around them, sad though it may be, and help our country provide aids to fight childhood cancer.
May God continue to bless you in all you do to help people become aware of important issues in the world and in the lives of others.
In peace,
The Rev. Kimball C. Arnold
docker2364@mypacks.net

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Nicole Engelbretson

February 25, 2011 at 10:43 am

Beautifully written!!

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Kerri Witbeck

February 25, 2011 at 10:47 am

You Rock Maya! Along with your very couragous little boy! Your letter to cancer must have been so tough to write. Except for you I’m sure it wasn’t as you know all too well the feeling of a parent of a child with cancer. I have followed your blog for the past couple months and literally it’s the first thing I check when I get on-line in the morning. I pray every night with my two year old daughter for your precious Ronan. I have always felt compelled to let you know we are praying for your family and for Ronan, but never more compelled than after reading your letter to cancern this morning. The part that hit me the most was when you write:

“The lessons you are teaching me are insightful indeed, but I would rather have learned them by being educated on Childhood Cancer. Not because you were going to put my baby through this.”

It certainly is not fair you have to learn about cancer this way, by it striking your beautiful family. I feel ever so fortuante to be one being educated through your blog. I only hope I continue to be so fortunate.

Every time I read your blog, or hear another story, or see a beautiful bald little boy or girl, it makes me wish I had all the money in the world to pour my heart and soul into research research research for a cure. I swear every day if I ever win the lottery, or a money tree grows in my back yard, I would quit my job and do what I really feel compelled to do – cure childhood cancer, or as I like to say, kill that fucker!

Since I do not have all the money in the world to dive right in, I rely on the only other thing I know can beat this beast – prayer! I do not know your religious background, but I do want you to know I pray every night for your family. I even pray to let me win the lottery – I swear I would use it for this sole purpose! I believe in prayer….so I know Ronan will beat this cancer b/c I pray many times a day for it to happen.

Keep fighting with Ronan, I know he gets his fight from you. Thank you for your very honest blog. Why should anyone keep things nice and sweet 100% of the time when cancer sure doesn’t. I’ll say it again, You Rock!!

Give that bald headed boy a kiss from my sweet little girl Delaynee, for when we pray every night she says “night night Ro”.

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Kimball Arnold

February 25, 2011 at 11:18 am

IF ENOUGH OF US WRITE WE MAY BE HEARD – WE COULD BE RONAN’S ARMY TO HELP GET THE WORD OUT TO OPRAH, DR. PHIL, ETC., ETC.

Dear Ms. Oprah,
My name is The Rev. Kimball Arnold. Though I have never met Ronan Thompson I do know his Grandmother Kay Thompson. In August 2010 to Ronan was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma and have followed his Mother, Maya’s blog daily since then. The blog tells the story of all parents and families endure, their pain and anguish.
What is happening to all families of childhood cancer is devastating as it tries to destroy them. With all the Thompson family has gone through I see a greater picture of all families and their plight. This is not meant to be, but it happens. Through the pain and trials families are strong and they do survive, but not all of them. Funds and financial resources are not available to all families of children with cancer.
I pray for Ronan Thompson, his family and all families and children with childhood cancer daily and pray for resources to help them survive, not just loving families but a medical community who has the resources to discover cures. No child deserves these fights and though we all learn life lessons from their experiences, these are painful lessons. However, no one wants to see a child suffer they way children with cancer do.
Reading Maya Thompson’s blog offers a glimpse into the world of families fighting cancer. Maya has offered the world a look into their lives these past many months. The world needs to become more aware of the suffering around them, and help our country provide aids to fight childhood cancer.
May God continue to bless you in all you do to help people become aware of important issues in the world and in the lives of others.
In peace,
The Rev. Kimball C. Arnold
docker2364@mypacks.net

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eleni

February 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm

Hello, I have been reading your blog for a few months now and nothing has ever touched my heart so much. I am pregnant with my first child and I just sit and cry as i read your words. I never understood a mother’s love before being pregnant with my own child. I would kill for this baby boy inside me. I am praying for Ronan.

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Marcy Shipman

February 28, 2011 at 11:22 am

Perfectly said, Maya!

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Things I Learned from Cancer 101 (9) « Remembering the Shoals

February 28, 2011 at 4:33 pm

[…] Dear Cancer, (rockstarronan.com) […]

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Kaala Bear

September 12, 2012 at 2:46 pm

I hope your sweet baby boy is in a safe place now.

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Cheryl Schultz

October 25, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Maya- I can relate somewhat to what you were going through. My nephew was diagnosed at the age of 3 with a rare form of cancer. It was not only hard on my sister and her immediate family, but it affects the entire family. I shed tears for you when I heard Ronan’s story. It brings memories back of all that we had gone through. Especially my sister. My nephew is currently in remission, and was also a fighter when he was going through his chemo treatments. He will be a research recipient until he is 25 years old. With this cancer; however, they say it will come back, but they do not know when. There is not a lot of information about his cancer. I will continue to pray for you and your family. You will be in my heart. I hope someday soon they will come up with a cure for childhood cancer. I know with everyone’s support that can and will happen. I would also like to congratulate you on your pregnancy.

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Sam

February 11, 2013 at 2:49 pm

Dear Maya,

I’m just starting to read your blog now. I’m only a teenager, but my grandpa died of cancer before I was born. My favorite cat also had cancer when I was ten. I hate cancer too, and I’m happy that you’re making a difference. Keep fighting!!!

~Sam

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