Adios 2010… Worst Year of My Life

I could not be happier to see this year end. I told you what I was going to say to 2010… Adios, motherfucker.

It started off great, and I made some amazing friends who have proved to me that they are worthy of being in my life. For that, I will be forever grateful to 2010. But that is about the only good thing to come out of this year.

August 12, 2010 will forever be etched into my brain as the absolute worst day of my life, and 2010 will forever be the worst year of my life. I have never been so happy to put a year behind me.

2011 is going to be Ronan’s year. His year of healing and getting all better. We still have a long way to go to get him to that point, but nothing will ever be as awful as having a doctor tell you that your son has Stage 4 cancer. Things can only get better from here. Bring on 2011. We cannot wait to see what it has in store for us.

Today, Liam, Quinn, Mimi, and Papa all returned to PHX. It was a brutal day. I begged Woody to let the boys stay with us and miss a few days of school. He wasn’t having it, and I know it really wasn’t a good idea because of what Ronan is about to go through—but I am going to miss them so much.

I cried all morning and was bawling as we put them in the car to go to the airport. I had my big sunglasses on, so I don’t think they noticed. Well, Liam didn’t. Quinn, of course, did. Ronan didn’t really understand what was going on. He just kept looking at me and saying, “But I’m going to miss them so much.” I told him we would be home with them soon.

We spent the day spoiling Ronan rotten. We took him to our favorite pizza place right around the corner from the RMH, and he ate a huge lunch. We then came back and played for most of the day. Ronan and I curled up together and took a big nap. We were both tired. Woody snuck out to go record shopping.

As soon as he got back, I headed out for my dark Central Park run. It was a little scary tonight—not many people out. I only ran about six miles, but it felt good. It wasn’t too cold, and it was fun to see all the people out and about, dressed up and heading to their New Year’s parties. I tried to think a lot about Monday and am doing my best to prepare for what we are about to go through. I am trying to gather all the strength I have because I am going to need every ounce of it.

Tonight, Woody, Ronan, and I had our own little party in our room. I covered Ronan’s head in glitter, and he put it all over my eyes and face. I wore my silly feather headband, and Ronan told me I looked pretty. We ate cheese and crackers. Woody had his beer and bought sangria for us from across the street. We watched a Pearl Jam concert, and Ronan was dancing and laughing the entire night. He has now decided he would like to be a rock star when he grows up. He is obsessed with Neil Young, and “Rockin’ in the Free World” is his favorite song.

We did a lot of chasing him around the RMH, going up and down the elevators. After we wore him out, Woody and I put in Easy A. It was in my stocking from Woody for Christmas. Love that movie. Woody liked it too—it was the first time he had seen it. He’s a tough sell, so I was pleasantly surprised.

Ronan is asleep. Woody is asleep. And I am wishing I were asleep. I kind of want to stay up until midnight West Coast time so I can make another New Year’s wish. No resolutions—just wishes this year. I think you all know what I’ll be wishing for.

Cheers to 2011. I hope this year is filled with health, happiness, and love.

G’night, sweet angels. xoxo