Adios 2010… worst year of my life

I could
not be happier to see this year end. I told you what I was going to
say to 2010…. Adios Mother Fucker!!!! It started off great… and
I made some amazing friends whom have proved to me that they are
worthy of being in my life. For that, I will be forever grateful to
2010. But that is about the only good thing to come out of this
year. August 12, 2010 will forever be etched into my brain as the
absolute worst day of my life, and 2010 will forever be the worst
year of my life. I have never been so happy to put a year in the
past. 2011 is going to be Ronan’s year. His year of healing and
getting all better. We still have a long way to go to get him to
this point… but nothing will ever be as awful as having a doctor
tell you that your son has Stage 4 cancer. Things can only get
better from here. Bring on 2011! We cannot wait to see what it has
in store for us. Today, Liam, Quinn, Mimi, and Papa all returned to
PHX. It was a brutal day. I begged Woody to let the boys’ stay with
us and miss a few days of school. He wasn’t having it and I know it
really wasn’t a good idea due to what Ronan is about to go through;
but I am going to miss them so much. I cried all morning and was
bawling as we put them in the car to go to the airport. I had my
big sunglasses on so I don’t think they noticed. Well, Liam
didn’t.. Quinn of course did. Ronan didn’t really understand what
was going on, he just kept looking at me and saying, “But I’m going
to miss them so much.” I told him we would be home with them soon.
We spent the day spoiling Ronan rotten. We took him to our favorite
pizza place, right around the corner from the RMH and he ate a huge
lunch. We then came back here and played for most of the day. Ronan
and I curled up together and took a big nap. We were both tired.
Woody snuck out to go record shopping. As soon as he got back I
headed out for my dark Central Park run. It was a little scary
tonight… not a lot of people out. I only ran about 6 miles but it
felt good. Wasn’t too cold and it was fun to see all the people out
and about all dressed up going to their New Year’s parties. I tried
to think a lot about Monday and am trying my best to prepare for
what we are about to go through. I am trying to gather all of the
strength I have because I am going to need every ounce of it.
Tonight, Woody, Ronan and I had our own little party in our room. I
covered Ronan’s head in glitter and he put it all over my eyes and
face for me. I wore my silly feather headband and Ronan told me I
looked pretty. We ate cheese and crackers, Woody had his
beer and bought Sangria across the street for us as well. We
watched a Pearl Jam concert and Ronan was dancing and laughing the
entire night and has now decided he would like to be a rockstar
when he grows up. He is obsessed with Neil Young and “Rocking in
the Free World” is his favorite song. We did a lot of chasing him
around the RMH, going up and down the elevators. After we wore him
out, Woody and I put in “Easy A.” It was in my stocking from Woody
for Christmas. Love that movie;) Woody liked it too; it was the
first time he had seen it. He’s a tough sell too so I was
pleasantly surprised. Ronan is asleep, Woody is asleep, and I am
wishing I was asleep. Kind of want to stay up until Midnight, West
Coast time so I can make another New Year’s wish. No resolutions,
just wishes this year. I think you all know what I’ll be wishing
for. Cheers to 2011! I hope this year is filled with health,
happiness, and love. G’nite sweet angels. xoxo