Tomorrow is a big day. Huge.
I should be sleeping… but I’m so nervous I can’t. We check in to Sloan at 9:30. Ronan will have anesthesia, they will do bone aspirations from the front and back, and then the CT scan.
Please continue to send great thoughts his way. I know the scans are going to come back with amazing results. I have faith that what we are doing is working. Ronan is so strong — he is going to beat this disease, and we will never look back.
Tonight, I took a step back and looked at my family. I know this is my blog, and I sit here and talk about how hard this is on me… but I hope you all know that I understand this is hard on our entire family. Sometimes I feel selfish going on and on about myself, but talking about how deeply this is hurting everyone else is almost too much for me to bear.
It is evident that everyone is hurting and suffering from this. It breaks my heart to watch my family go through it — to see how scared and sad they are. Everyone puts on such a brave face, but when I step back and observe certain moments, it hits me like a slap in the face.
I wish I could take away everyone’s pain and sadness. I would give anything to have my three boys home with Woody and me, all under the same roof, everyone healthy.
I am hurting — but so are so many other people.
I am trying my best to be a good wife, mom, daughter, friend… sometimes I don’t even know which direction to turn. It all feels overwhelming. I’ve been doing a lot of talking with Quinn. I miss Liam, who has been staying with Mimi and Papa. I hate that because of this disease, my three little guys can’t be together the way they used to be.
Tonight, I am just sad.
But tomorrow, I will be brave.
I love you all. A special I love you tonight to one of my favorites, Liz. You know why. You are the truest of the true.
Please continue to send extra love tomorrow for our little Rockstar. I will update you as soon as I know something.
Thank you, all.
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