Not so calm, cool, and collected today

I knew something was wrong today. Ronan slept until 9:00 a.m., which he never does and did not want to get out of bed. When I picked him up, he was like a wet noodle. I talked him into moving onto the couch where I put down his favorite blanket and turned on Star Wars for him. He watched for a bit but did not seem interested like he usually does. I made him his favorite breakfast, eggs and sausage. He didn’t touch it. Then, the bloody nose started. I calmly got kleenex and pinched his nose while making him sit up, just like the doctor told me to do. I had Woody get a cold compress to put on the back of his neck. After about 20 minutes, it stopped and I thought I had things under control. I told Woody to go ahead and leave to go over to The Village (our gym) for the twins’ basketball team draft. He left and I continued to try to get Ronan to eat and drink. He was still refusing. 15 minutes later, the blood started pouring again. I repeated the same steps as before and after 20 minutes of not getting it to stop, I grabbed my phone with my one free hand while trying to call anyone and everyone. I couldn’t get a hold of Woody, the on call doctor, friends, etc….. Nobody was picking up and my calm, cool, collected self, was panicking. I even called 911 and I got a recording that all lines were busy. WTF?? Really, 911!??!?!?! Finally, I reached my Wood and told him to get home. At this point, Ronan is looking very pale and was wanting to pass out/fall asleep. We threw him in the car and headed to the hospital. We finally got a hold of the on call doctor and he told us that we did indeed, need to come in. We sat in the ER forever and the blood continued. They tried a saline spray to get it to stop… it worked for about 5 minutes. Then the blood continued to pour. Ronan was so brave and calm. He sat on my lap the entire time and just rested his head on my shoulder. After about an hour of this, the bleeding finally stopped. Knock on wood. We are now in a room back on the second floor where they have him getting platelets and monitoring him because he has a slight fever. He threw up a bunch of blood that he swallowed and I thought Woody was going to pass out. Poor guy. Poor baby.

Ronan seems to be feeling much better after all of this and is now asking for string cheese and just ate a bunch of Otter Pops. As for me, I’ve decided that most of the things that I’ve been going through are like an out-of-body experience. Sometimes I feel like I’m just watching from above. It’s my way of being able to handle it I guess. I talked to little Jack’s mom via text message tonight (the little boy who has the same thing as Ronan) She is one step ahead of me on everything. She said the same thing about the out-of-body experience. I also asked her if I was weird because when I cut off some of Ronan’s hair, I saved some and put it in a plastic baggy. She said she did the exact same thing. She also said, this does get easier… even though it seems like it never will. Woody is out to dinner with her husband, as we speak. We are so grateful to have them to talk to. I hope I can help someone someday, the way that they are helping us. Ronan is curled up in his hospital bed asleep. Before he fell asleep I told him I loved him and that he was my angel. He just looked at me and smiled.

11 thoughts on “Not so calm, cool, and collected today”

  1. This is Genevieve…I just want you to know I am praying everyday for you and Ronan just know our hearts our major heavy & I know your heart is breaking,No one ever invisions their little angels to have to go through such a horrific health issue I live to hear updates…I can just imagine how you are feeling since it rips me apart inside to know anyone hasto suffer living day by day just to know if healing is taking place inside the body of their lovely little sprout. I pray that the chemo only takes the bad stuff and the good cells are staying for the fight!!
    Remember to breath and be immensely affectionate to your hubby vise versa you both will be each other’s rock!

  2. Gheesh what a day. You all make me exhausted just reading your day. I am sorry. I cannot believe they made you wait in ER knowing your circumstances. Unbelievable. Truly unbelievable. Hopefully you will sleep well knowing that the hospital staff is taking care of him. I am all better now so if you need me to come and help just call. Seriously, perfectly fine. Hugs to all tonight. Sleep if you can.

    Gay and Her Men

  3. Our hearts are with you guys. I hated reading this latest update. Of course, the prayers will continue out here for you.

  4. What a day! Really, 911 was busy! Unbelieveable! Not what you expected so early on especially just after coming home. I am happy you had Jack’s Mom to lean on and reassure you. Angels are everywhere Maya. We are continulally praying for Ronan and your family. Try and keep your spirits up and positive thoughts flowing. Hopefully Ronan will get a good nights sleep and you too. (We will also pray for good nurses too)
    The Haugen Family

  5. Hang in there. I feel so bad for lil Ro and the whole family. Every time, i get ready to pray my heart goes out to you all, just imagining the things you are all going through. Be strong. Take care. Love to you all!

  6. Your precious son and family are in my prayers. You keep hanging on…your miracle is on it’s way. God knows all of your pains and has promised to never let you go. My heart pours out to you.

  7. Whew, what a day you all had. Though you experienced some of the typical delays in our health care system, I am thankful that Ronan is bouncing back and you have another triumph to share with us. Continuing to pray for you all.

  8. Maya,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this difficult journey you are facing. I am sorry to hear about the events of today and hope that you are all sleeping peacefully tonight. Your angel is in the best hands and know that he, you and the rest of your family are constantly surrounded by angels. I will continue to pray for you.

    Adrienne Kelley

  9. Just wanted to let you know Living Word Christian Center in Longview is praying for all of you. Your mom shared this heartbreaking news with my mom Evelyn. We are holding you all up in prayer.May today be better than yesterday. BLESSINGS ON RONAN. In the midst of this may you feel the prayers of others. Stephanie, mother of 5

  10. when ever I read these it makes me cry so much. I even made a surfboard thingy with pictures of Ronan just for you (sorry if that kinda creepy). Ronan was a brave,happy 4 year old with a amazing personality. I’m only 12 and a bunch of ppl at my school say big deal about it and I say. well get out of my face cause it is a big deal. I’m really sorry for u and I try to remember to pray for u every night that I can. I have ADHD which makes it hard to focus and remember things so I try my hardest to remember to pray. on day for softball I wore blue socks and a blue ribbon and I even wrote Romans name under my eyes.(sorry if that’s creepy too). I’m just a big supporter of Ronan and ronan was such a cute little boy. remember he’s in gods had and there’s a bibble verse that says god does everything for a reason. I believe this cause my father past away 4 days before I was born. god did it. but something good will come out of it. I promise. maybe it will help cure cancer.

  11. “I hope I can help someone someday, the way that they are helping us.”

    Hi Maya. Do you recognize that quote??? It’s yours.
    I’m Danielle. I’ve been writing a little to you about how I lost my Dad 14 years ago. I just wanted to let you know that you have helped somebody. I don’t know how many “somebodies”, but you have definitely helped me, simply by writing this blog. I have told you before, and I will say it again: I love you for doing this. You are such a brave little soul!

    Love, Danielle ❤

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s