Get your Spicy on!

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They’re back! I am thrilled to announce that the spicy monkey SpiritHoods are now back in stock just in time for fall.  They make such great gifts and kept Ronan’s bald little head so warm in the hospital.  He loved wearing his so much.

 

100% of the profits go to The Ronan Thompson Foundation which is just beyond amazing.  A huge thank you to our friends at SpiritHoods for releasing these again just in time for September to help us bring awareness to this cause.

Thank you all for your continued love and support!!

 

https://www.spirithoods.com/spicymonkeys

Poppy didn’t die and the SpiritHoods already SOLD OUT!!!!

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Ronan. This is seriously my life. Last night, I was cooking dinner and I had Poppy in the sink. Let me back up a bit. Every morning and every night, when Poppy eats her solid food, I put her naked in her Bumbo chair in the sink. She gets so messy, so I feed her in there as it makes perfect sense because she is SO messy and I can just wash her off afterwords. (Hi, that’s me OCD clean freak) She likes to sit in her little chair, play with her rattles, and suck on this mesh thing that I put avocados or bananas in. Last night, while I was cooking dinner, Poppy was playing away and sucking on her little mesh holder with her mashed up avocado in it. I turned around for about 30 seconds to tend to my tacos and when I turned back around, Poppy was slumped over in her little Bumbo seat with her head down. I dropped my spatula, screamed her name, and ran over and ripped her out of her chair. The water wasn’t on or anything, but my mind instantly went to, “She’s dead, she’s dead, she’s dead.” As soon as I ripped her out of that chair, she started to cry because I scared her so badly. She wasn’t dead. The poor little babe had fallen asleep, probably because she was so worn out from our very busy day of putting her in a pumpkin and taking pictures.

I felt so bad for scaring her and making her cry because I am a raging lunatic. I felt so badly, yet I know this is the way I will always be. My mind will always go to the worst place possible. I said to my friend, Katie today as we were hiking, “It takes everything I have not to take all 3 of my kids down to PCH to have them scanned from head to toe.” And I’m not kidding. It’s a fight I have with myself everyday in my head. Just because this has happened to us once, does not mean it cannot happen again. That’s not the way life works. I am fully aware of that. I live in a world where all of my kids are going to die and everything they touch or eat, is going to give them cancer. I’m so freaked out by anything that Poppy puts in her mouth, food wise. It was pretty much only organic for you and your brothers. I mean, I even made all of your baby food from scratch. Now, I’m positivly a freak about it with Poppy. And if you think I have issues there, you should see the way I pretty much refuse to leave her with anyone. I mean, I even worry when I leave her with your Daddy for a bit. The separation anxiety I am having with her might become a problem. I can’t leave her and when I do, I’m a ball of nerves. This is my life and as of now,  this is just the way it is. Maybe it will change or maybe it won’t. I don’t know how you ever go back to anything ever feeling o.k. and safe again after you’ve watched one of your children, die from cancer.

So, I started this earlier today… before the amazingness of the SpiritHoods Spicy Monkey SELLING OUT happened! Are you guys serious?! I mean, I expected them to sell, but not that fast! You all are amazing. Don’t worry, our friends at SpiritHoods will be making more. I don’t think anybody expected them to sell out so fast. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! This is beyond rad. Tonight, I can go to sleep feeling so proud because this is proof that my little guy is changing the world with the help of all of you. I really, really needed this today, so thank you all again for being so supportive. And another HUGE thank you to my brother from another mother, Alexander from SpiritHoods, who shot this video and has been working along my side through this whole thing. He is going to change this world with me and help save some kids’ lives, just you all wait and see. This is just a little taste as of what is to come.

I’m signing off for tonight. More book writing to do. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe, Ronan. I love you to the moon and back

xoxo

I love you all, too. Thank you for helping in this fight and for being better people because of my son.

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Ronan, you little Spicy Monkey. This is for you and all the other kids who deserve better. Thank you, SpiritHoods for being such an amazing company.

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http://theden.spirithoods.com/ronanthompson/

It’s almost Halloween and I would still let you be anything if you were still here

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Ronan. Last week, I got to see the magic that Alexander has put together with the SpiritHoods video. He’s been working like mad on it, and keeping me so very in the loop. When the link finally came through the short version, the one that will air on their website, I took a deep breath as I sat down to watch it. I put Poppy on my lap and she watched with me. The tears were almost immediate. It is 5 minutes of absolute perfection, absolute heartbreak, absolute beauty, and absolute truth. I am so proud and so thankful for people like Alexander who have come into our life. The moment I set eyes on him, I knew he was the perfect person for the job of telling our story in a documentary type of way. I felt so comfortable with him and an immediate connection. I wasn’t wrong. Not only does Alexander feel like a long lost brother to me, it turns out he is insanely talented and I could not be more proud of what it is we have done together. Oh, and he also happens to have a totally kick ass wife who I am equally as in love with. I cannot wait for you all to see this, and then to watch as you all buy up the SpiritHoods like crazy. They turned out so adorable and only Ronan being here to rock it, would make it even better than it already is. I AM SO PROUD.

Last week was an insane week and with foundation stuff pretty much happening around the clock, I knew I needed a small break. Or, more like your daddy knew and pretty much told Dr. Jo that I was coming up to Sedona on Sunday to spend some time with her and do a little eco therapy. I drove up with your Poppy sister in tow. We arrived late on Saturday night and woke up in the morning, ready for to go on a hike through the beauty of Sedona. On our hike, we got into my much needed therapy. We talked about where I am in my grief process and I told her all about my hard week last week where I spent many days, THINKING about doing things like driving off a cliff. I still have those thoughts, although they happen less often. Our little hike turned into a 5 hour massive hike with your Poppy sister on the front of me. We only stopped one time to feed her and let her stretch out. The rest of the time the only sounds we heard from her were the sounds of her coos and giggles. That baby, I tell ya. She is amazingly special. I’ve never known a baby that would go on a 5 hours hike and be happy as a clam the entire time. She is such a sweet, sweet girl. Most of the hike, we talked about this whole grief thing. I told her how I constantly feel like a bunny rabbit, digging a never ending hole, and trying to fill the hole with “stuff” when I know the hole is never going to be filled again. It’s that taste of happiness that I had with you that I so badly want again, but no matter how beautiful this life is, I’ll never get back the happiness that is missing; that being you. I have learned to love my grief, for even as painful as it is, it keeps me connected to you. So, when I am not spending enough time nurturing and sitting quietly with my grief, that is when I tend to get into a bit of trouble, emotionally speaking. Some people want to run away from their grief, but there is no out running this. Your grief will always catch up to you and never gets tired of chasing you. I don’t want to outrun this, but the fact of the matter is, it does become heavy to carry and sometimes hard to manage. That’s when I have to check in with myself and do things like a 5 hour hike with Dr. JoRo. Things like that, help me with all of this.

I have so much going on around here that I don’t even know which way is up anymore. After dropping your brothers off at school in the mornings, I have been making myself take your Poppy sister up our mountain. I know that in order to be productive during my day, I do need to take a little Mama/Ronan time out. This morning I had Poppy on my front and your backpack on my back like I do every time I hike. You know that little backpack from Pottery Barn Kids with your name embroidered on the back of it. As I was coming down, a man passed me. He said, “Is that your son’s name, Ronan?” I was caught a little off guard and but managed to nod my head and give him a smile. He said, “That’s my son’s name, too! He’s 7.” The only thing I could say was, “It’s a great name.” What I really wanted to say is, “You are so lucky to have a 7-year-old Ronan.” I hiked the rest of the way down, feeling sad and trying to imagine what it must be like to have a 7-year-old Ronan, too. That pretty much threw me off for the rest of the day, but somehow I still managed to be productive around here.

Halloween is approaching. Is it really another Halloween without you? I would still let you be anything, if you were still here. Your brothers are all excited and I took them “Booing” the other night with some of their friends. It hurt to be doing such fun/funny things without you. Poppy seems pretty excited about Halloween, too. Today, she asked me to take a pumpkin, carve out the top and some slots for her legs so I could stick her in the pumpkin and take a picture. O.k… so maybe she  didn’t ask me, but that’s totally what I did to her. She loved it for about 30 seconds, then when she realized she was naked in a pumpkin, she got pretty mad at me. I took her out once she started to protest, but I did manage to get some great pictures out of the Poppy the Pumpkin photo session. It was kind of the cutest thing ever.

Alright little man. I have to sign off for the night. Time for my late night book writing session to begin. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe.

xoxo

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