Ronan. Your song for the night. You were the best kind of trouble. I miss you.



My favorite line that is not even in this song, but at the end of it. “I don’t know if you know who you are, until you lose who you are.”-Taylor Swift

Wise girl. Wise soul. Forever grateful.

13 thoughts on “Ronan. Your song for the night. You were the best kind of trouble. I miss you.

  1. Brittany

    I was listening to Ronan’s song earlier on YouTube and then saw a video of him singing a what sounded like a christmas song sayin batman smells robin layed an egg it was so cute his squeaky little voice and giggles made me cry my eyes out and then through the tears I started to laugh because you called him feisty and he kept saying I’m not feisty he’s amazing and beautiful.

      1. Lidia Giubilaro

        I just showed my boys this two year old started singing with Ronan…it was just a moment. Made me tear up. So sad and unfair.
        Lidia xoxo

  2. Jessica T.

    His blue eyes just radiate complete happiness. It is obvious his heart was filled with complete love and happiness. What a sweet little boy. A friend of mine posted some photos on FB about a memorial group she is in for grieving parents. Her photos were really beautiful. A few of the pictures really struck me because the photos looked very old (1950’s/1960’s). It was a clear demonstration of what you talk about. Those parents miss those babies like it was yesterday.

  3. Lidia Giubilaro

    Maya I first saw you on Katie Couric’s show. Taylor Swift’s song brought me to your blog..and YOU brought me to Taylor Swift. I am 31 years old, have two little boys aged 1 and 2..My husband and I decided that I would be a stay at home mom the minute I got pregnant with my first. I can’t even imagine sending these little guys away to daycare at such a young age..they need me as much as I need them. Can you believe that at first I got criticized for staying at home???!!!! People used to ask “when u going back to work?” or ” when you sending your kids to daycare?” I don’t get that?? I mean, what’s wrong with wanting to stay at home with my kids? Anyways, I just wanted to share how so very annoying some people could be in general. I am very sensitive to YOU and Ronan’s story. Not only because I am a mother, but because I am a human being. Don’t listen to the annoying things that people say. Just block it out! It’s not worth getting all frustrated about. You just continue being You! The people who really know you..will always be there for you.
    Anyways a little off topic…. I wanted to mention that I’ve seen Taylor Swift on the Ellen show and she is just SO funny!!!! I’m glad I got to know her too! .She’s awesome and I am glad that someone like Taylor Swift found you.
    Lidia Xoxo

  4. Arma Benoit

    Maya, I thought you might appreciate this article. I don’t want to say “like” this article, because how can you “like” any of this horrible crap? But I think you will appreciate it. I think of you, and Ronan, and Woody, and Liam, and Quinn, and Poppy every day. I think you will probably always have sadness (how could you not?) But I hope that some happiness will visit you from time to time as well. You’re amazing, and what you’re doing to help other kids is amazing.

  5. lorena

    Hello Maya, I just heard this song and I thought of Ronan, you and all of the other kids I been following on Facebook and Caringbridge. (Becca, AJ, Kai, Teddy,Jaden, Alivia, London, Jacks, Landan, Ty, Braden, Ariel, Ezra and many more that had gone to soon) Sorry but all of you should still be here on earth with your families.

    I lit a fire with the love you left behind,
    And it burned wild and crept up the mountainside.
    I followed your ashes into outer space
    I can’t look out the window,
    I can’t look at this place,

    I can’t look at the stars,
    They make me wonder where you are
    Up on heaven’s boulevard
    And if I know you at all,
    I know you’ve gone too far
    So I, I can’t look at the stars

    All those times we looked up at the sky,
    Looking out so far,
    We felt like we could fly.
    And now I’m all alone in the dark of night,
    The moon is shining,
    But I can’t see the light,
    And I can’t look at the

    They make me wonder where you are
    Up on heaven’s boulevard
    And if I know you at all,
    I know you’ve gone too far
    So I, I can’t look at the stars

    They make me wonder where you are
    Up on heaven’s boulevard
    And if I know you at all,
    I know you’ve gone too far
    So I can’t look at the stars.

  6. Lidia Giubilaro

    Great video:) The line ” I don’t know if u know who u r until u lose who u r” really makes me think…hmm. That’s a really good one.

  7. Isabelle

    You’re right. Many, many Taylor RoLove Swift songs remind me of you and Ronan, if you change the connotations of it! That is one of the many reasons I love her so much. I think that Ronan is proud of her and her gorgeous soul. Rock on RoTay:)

  8. Kodiak My Little Grizzly

    Love, love, love Taylor Swift!!!! I love your anonymous comment above as well…. Thank you for the voice of pain and emotions so raw! My friends say the same about me… I am sober, don’t smoke, and not on drugs or medications. I talk about working through my emotions like walking through a fire and leaving you so raw, open and exposed. There are those that will heal with their kind expressions(words or gestures) and there are those that throw acid on your raw wounds. There are those that just neutralize and stand aloof not knowing what to do or say. You do heal with the open sores sort of but it is with painful scars that cause PTSD like symptoms when pricked or touched. I filter now what people say to me. I cherish the kind healing like words. I excuse the neutralizers as either being ignorant of my situation and not knowing what to say. And applauding them for not making it worse. And I learn to forgive and forget those that open the raw sensations!!!
    I have had the worse week in quite awhile with bar news all at once and no sleep and stress on how to take care of my kids and provide alone. My kids are my world!!!!! I adore them every day and no one can figure out how I keep going!
    We just find things to laugh at every day and I love being with my kids!!!

  9. Deanna Lawrence

    I was watching some of the youtube videos of Ronan…what a sweet little boy! I know you know that he’s not lost, he’s just watching over you and cheering you on and waiting patiently. And he’s still yours. He will always be yours because love is eternal and families are forever.

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