ROCKSTAR RONAN

Ronan. Survived. Again. I think. I feel sick. Sick to my stomach. Rough day. Rough night. Nothing new. For your 5 months today, I put on my purple wig and went down to Garage Boutique for Kids today to meet up with Katie so we could draw the names for our Rock the Runway for Ronan Fashion Show.

I met up a lot with Katie, last week, to take a look at the kids’ applications and how they answered their questions. We asked them things like::::

1) If you had an alter ego Rockstar name, what would it be?

2) Tell us 3 ways you will raise money to benefit Childhood Cancer.

3) If you could have dinner with any Rockstar, who would it be??

I sat with Katie and we read over them all. I read about the little girl who cut off her hair and gave it to her cousin, who has cancer. Katie told me how the little girl, Elizabeth, who is 5 and has just been diagnosed with cancer, sat at her bar and filled out her application. I cried after reading and hearing these things. I looked up at Katie. She knew what I was going to say. How could we possibly not have all the kids, who took the time to come down to Katie’s store, in the show? What if the little girl that had her Daddy drive her from Tuscon after school, didn’t get picked?? The thought of any of these kiddos, getting left out, broke our hearts. We decided, that we would let all the kids in the show. Who cares if it is over the number of kids we had agreed on. Rules were meant to be broken, right? We decided a few days ago, we would break these rules.

We brainstormed during the week on the way we would announce the news. We didn’t come up with anything genius, except we knew we would have to be wearing purple. I called Liz and asked if she would help, since she has such a flair for the dramatics and is used to being in front of a camera. She was so happy to help. We didn’t have a script. We sent up my computer and pretty much winged the entire, ridiculous thing. I talked Liz into talking in our very bad, British accents… mostly because I knew if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to hold it together. Katie didn’t do one which is probably one of the reasons she pretty much lost it, at the end. Beautiful, Bad British accent saved my day. I wouldn’t have been able to do the silly video, without mine. I missed Macy. She would have been a riot to have in the video. It turned out cute, raw, silly, and ridiculous. Sometimes, it’s best not to have a script in life .

I couldn’t get across the screen, how thankful I am. How honored I am, that so many people are coming together for this for Ronan’s Foundation.  I wanted to say so many things about how you, Ronan, would be so happy to know that something like this was being put on, because of you. Because every kid, deserves to be a kid. Because the kids that get sick with cancer, deserve better. Better treatments, answers, outcomes, and CURES. Everything serious that I wanted to say, could not be said because I cannot say any of this, without ending up bawling and in tears. So, I guess I’ll say it now. On the platform that I am able to say it best on, behind the scenes, so you all don’t have to witness my tears. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Ronan, for being my sun, my moon, my stars. Thank you for teaching me so much in such a short amount of time. Thank you to all of wonderful friends and family. Thank you to Miss Katie for having such a vision, my same vision, for this event. Thank you to all the parents who have continued to read about Ronan. Who want to fight for Ronan. Who are taking my pain, and turning into something beautiful. Who are not afraid, to continue on with me, and who are not afraid to educate their own kids about something so scary like Childhood Cancer. I am aware of how gut wrenchingly painful, this story is. I know that when you see me, hear Ronan’s story, that it is your  worst nightmare, come true. It takes people with true passion, heart, and soul, to continue on the with me. I know how easy it would be to just walk away and go back to your lives, before all of this. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for not doing this. I think you all are so very brave and inspiring as well.

To all my busy little bees helping, doing, “getting shit done.” You are all the most amazing women on the PLANET! You could rule the world and I am so thankful, to have you to work with. I know this event is going to be everything Ronan would have loved. Thank you.

To all my readers/ out of state people who wish they could be at this event, but cannot, I am sorry. We are going to put together something very special, so you all have a way to be involved. I want you there, in some way shape or form, if you cannot be there physically. I’m working on this and will let you know when this idea is a little more ready to go<3 Thank you for continuing to read, love and support. It means the world to me.

Alright Ro. It is Monday a.m. and I have a lot to do today. I made it through the 9th. Your 5 months of not being here. Not without doing something a little insane though. I left for a run, last night around 7 p.m. You should have seen the radness of my outfit for you. Purple shoes, purple shorts, and the icing on the cake…. purple leg warmers. Yup. You heard me right. The most awesome purple leg warmers that I have ever seen in my life. My friend, Mandy wears them to work out in. She bought some for me and dropped them by our house yesterday. So sweet of her. I headed out for my run. It was dark, of course. The best time to meet Inferno Fuckwad Bob sometimes. I started running. I was so not feeling it at first but I continued on. I ran through a bunch of sprinklers. I got a major cramp at mile 4. I tried to stop but the voice inside of my head said to me, “What’s worse. Then pain of this or the pain of losing Ronan?” I said, without hesitation, it was the pain of losing you. I kept running my 8 minute pace. I ran over a freeway over pass. I stopped to take a picture of the moving cars. Where the hell am I??? I thought to myself. Who cares. Keep running. I finally stopped when the pain from the chafing burns under my arms started to feel like they were on fire. I looked at my GPS on my phone. 8.2 miles. Ummm…. what? 8.2 miles away from home. That can’t be….. how did I get that far away from my house?? Crap. I called Woody. He didn’t answer. I walked for a bit and found a church parking lot where I cooled down and stretched. I called Woody again. No answer. What street am I even on? I sat and stretched some more. Finally, Quinn answered. “Can you put your Dad on the phone please… thanks baby.” “Can you come and get me please. I’m on Central and Missouri, in a church parking lot, thanks, see you soon.”

20 minutes later I was rescued. My body was becoming cold but amazingly I was not tired or sore. I actually felt like I could have turned back around and ran home. It must have been those purple magic leg warmers. How have I ever lived without those? Thanks Mandybee:) I’m going to wear them every time I feel like I need a little extra help on my runs. Or actually I may wear them on every run because they are that awesome:)

I gotta go, Ro baby. Your brothers are home for the week. Fall break. I know if you were here, we would be off doing something fun as a family. I’m sure we would be in Washington visiting Nana and Papa. I’ll be lucky to survive this week, without you. I love you. I miss you. I hope you are safe.

xoxo