All Good Things Are Wild and Free
Beautiful, beautiful Ronan looks just like the lead singer from Foster the people in this picture!
I’m sorry that it took me so long to find your story. I’m happy that Taylor brought it to my attention though. You were the most beautiful little boy and your family is so amazing. I love your mama. She is such a strong, loving, and wonderful person. Regardless of never meeting her in person I know this because her words say it all. I’ve been listening to your song on repeat for the last few days. I can’t read your mamas blog without it on in the background. Ronan, I’m so sorry this happened to you. No baby deserves to have their life taken, and no family deserves to helplessly watch it happen. I truly believe that you’re still with your mama. There’s too many things always happening for you not to be. You’re amazing. You’re eyes remind me of my little brothers. Who, thanks to you Ronan, I’m more appreciative to have. Your mamas blog is the sweetest, most heartbreaking, most honest and raw thing I’ve ever read. And while I’ll never know your families pain I have felt my own. I lost my grandma and my aunt. I’m sure you have already met them. Your mamas words have helped me so much. I promise Ronan, just like I promised my grandma that I will be a better person. I will make a difference. I’m an ambulance worker Ro. Well I’m waiting to be one anyway… I’m so excited that it’s my career choice. I can’t wait to help people. And once I have a job I promise to donate every month to your foundation buddy. I’m just waiting. You gave me a sign about that the other day, at least I hope it was a sign because I truly believe it was. I was reading your mamas blog like I have been every night. I was getting tired so I decided that the one I was reading would be the last one for the night. When I finished I did something I never do. I went to the next entry just to see the picture your mama used at the beginning. And I never go on unless I’m gonna keep reading Ronan, ever! But for some reason something in me said to look and sure enough it was a picture of you, playing with an ambulance! An ambulance Ronan! I’m taking it as a sign. A sign that my career is about to start so that I can keep my promise. Not that I can’t without one because I’m a better person just by reading your mamas words. But I want to do more. And I know my ambulance job will allow me to do that. I’m sorry for calling you Ro and saying your name so many times. I’ve read about how picky you were with people, but I can’t help it I love your name. Hopefully one day when I have kids I have a boy and I’ll make his middle name Ronan. And when he’s old enough to ask I will get to tell him that his middle name came from one of the strongest most amazing little boys ever. Even years from now Ronan, I’ll still be telling your story. I know I wrote to you instead of your mama but for now it’s all I can handle. Maybe one day soon I’ll be able to tell her that she’s my hero in my own words. But for now little guy this is for you. Thanks for my sign Ro, and thanks for reaching me with your story. It’s inspired me. Sleep tight little man.
Maya, I know I comment often now, but I am always thinking of more to say!
You sometimes say that you have to remind yourself to breathe. That alone sounds so horrible I can’t even think about it. Whenever I complain now, I feel guilty because whatever crap I was complaining about is NOTHING compared to losing Ro. When I’m an adult, married, and having kids, I will do EVERYTHING to make sure if they get cancer to get it at stage I. Every night I pray for you, Ro, and your family. I pray that you will someday walk with Ro to catch up, whether it be in Heaven or another life. I pray that Ro is still by your side, even though you can’t kiss him. I know that angels Ronan, Jen, and Esther are watching down over all of you. And, I pray that someday you will be happy. Truly happy, no guilt, sorrow, or second guesses. It’s what Ronan would’ve wanted. It breaks my heart everyday to read your words, and I am almost certainly positive that it breaks Ro Angel’s as well. I am so sorry if I insulted you, I just am worried for you. Hugs and prayers, Isabelle