5 responses to “For you, Ro. Always.”

  1. I have not responded to your blog for awhile because honestly what the F do I know about what you feel right now & honestly when I imagine losing one of my children it just hurts to much to even think about.
    What I do know FOR SURE is that what you are doing is perfect. I know this because my father died of cancer when I was 6. My sister was 8. My mom was away a lot, as they tried everything to cure him, I mean everything. After a long hard battle he died. When you are a little
    child, losing a parent is about the worst thing
    you could imagine. After he died, my Mom, sister and my grandparents (he was there only child and died at 32) we all spent the summer at
    the beach. That summer was the
    happiest/saddest few months of my life. We all were so close that summer and did a lot of healing. We are so much closer for that summer we had. Liam & Quinn will be just fine to wait for therapy. You did the right thing for them. As a child that was totally jipped because of fucking cancer, I can tell you this without any psych degree. I remember my Mama & Gram crying all the time that summer and remember comforting my Grampa who was the strongest man in the world but I still had to hold him as he cried for his son. Non of this fucked me up or made me scared or less of a person. That summer just made us all closer. I’m telling you this because this is what I believe it will do for your boys. You did and are doing the right thing. So those that that want to judge can seriously SUCK IT (classy I know) but I can’t stand people that have no idea! I know I have no idea about losing a child, but I just wanted to give you the perspective of a child losing a parent. And mainly wanted to solidify to you how deeply I feel getting out of AZ was the right thing for you and your boys. The 4 of you can come back to therapy, it’s not going anywhere. I truly think you are such an amazing Mother to all 3 of your boys. Liam and Quinn are so lucky to have you, Woody & Ro!
    Run hard, swim at night, I so respect & see that you’re living the life that Ronan could not.
    God Bless-

  2. Starlene DeBord Avatar
    Starlene DeBord


    Sending my thoughts and love to you and your family today and everday! I hope you have a beautiful day! With all the new memmories you are all creating!!! HUGS to all of you! You are all amazing people! Stay just the way you are (REAL) and keep fighting it is worth every second!!!!

    Starlene DeBord

  3. Maya, you are probably the best mom in the world! Yes, therapy can definitely wait. Like others have posted already, you are doing the absolute best/right thing for you and your family right now. Pay no attention to those who try to tell you otherwise. Only you know what’s best for you and your family. You are handling all of this with such strength, wisdom and immeasurable courage. I hope you realize that. I pray for you and your family every day, and shall continue to do so.

  4. Maya…this is the first time ever writing to you, but I am among the “faithful followers” that reads your blog every day. My heart aches for you and, I have cried for you and your family more than I am even comfortable admitting (but it’s a lot!)

    I shared Ronan’s story with my Husband, and we sent up our balloons in honor of him, here is Sacramento, along with you and your family last month. My Husband, not always the worlds most sensitive man, shed tears with me as I read your blog to him the day that you lost your precious boy, and we’ve had deep conversations of “what if” and “I cannot even fathom”. You see, we have been struggling with infertility for the past 4 1/2 years (I know….too much information from a stranger, but bear with me) with zero luck. He asked me if, given ours and your circumstances, if I had the choice to have a baby and lose them to something as horrific as cancer, or be told that I would never be able to have kids, which one would I choose. I want children sooo bad, and I KNOW which one you would choose Maya, but it made me think twice because I’ve haven’t had the chance to fall in love with my own child yet. The pain you must be feeling in unimaginable and I honestly don’t know if I could be as strong as you are.

    I know….stupid and selfish statement. I just meant to say that you and one of the bravest women I’ve ever come across and I hope to one day be lucky enough to be an AMAZING Mom like you. You inspire people.

    MY POINT: I just wanted to let you know that, if we are ever blessed with a sweet baby, we have decide to name him or her Ronan in honor of your baby boy that was taken from you way too soon. Your story, his BRAVE OLD SOLE is such and inspiration, I would be lucky to have a kid like him.

    Thank you for continuing to share your RAW and honest emotions. I think of you and Ronan everyday.


    P.S. This song makes me think of you when you are feeling sad:
    Bruno Mars, Talking to the Moon

  5. Hi,
    I am an old firend of Kay’s. I have kept up with the blog. I know what your going through, not as a parent but as a person who lost her sister in a tragic accidnet when we were both in college. The trajedy hurt our family so. My dad once said that it was five years before Mary Jo’s death was not the first thing he thought of when he woke up and the last thing he thought about when he went to bed. Mary Jo has been gone for almost 40 years now. I want you to know that we still think about her, talk about her, share stories about her.
    There are times when I have cried about her. Last summer when I visited the home town we no longer live in and I placed yellow roses on her grave. Ten years ago my parents moved here to Spokane from California. I was unpacking and ran accross the crucifix that was on her grave. I remember sitting on the floor and sobbing while holding the crucifix and saying,”Damit, Mary Jo, you are suppose to be here helping me with our aging parents.” My dad, who is 89 now, has alzheimers. Recently I saw him look up at her picture and blow her a kiss and say I love you Mary Jo. Tears were streaming down my face and I gave my dad a hug and said, “We all do.” It is okay to be depressed and sad..It is okay to be angry. Just know that there are so many people who love your family and here for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you ever want to talk to me, a starnger…or my Mom who endured your pain just let me know.

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