Ronan is napping. I was trying to nap with him, but then Woody came home. We had a little pow wow session about what the next steps are. He has been on the phone with the hospital Sloan-Kettering in New York City for the past half an hour. Depending on the next set of scans that Ronan has, which should be coming up soon… I will find out tomorrow when he will be scheduled to have them….we have to make some decisions. We are on our knees praying that the scans come back and show that the chemo is working and the cancer is disappearing. As Woody said today, they have to be working.. look how perfect he looks. I couldn’t agree more. If the scans come back and show that the chemo is not working, we have decided we will take him to New York. We won’t have a choice. Woody told me today that I may have to stay for a year or two in New York with Ronan. He wanted to make sure I could handle that. The thought of leaving my big boys, hubby and home made my stomach turn. But of course I would go in a heartbeat if it meant saving our baby boy. If what we are doing is not killing his cancer, we will have to go a different route with his treatment. I am trying not to think that way.. but we have to have all our ducks in a row. Regardless of staying here or not, we are almost positive we will be taking Ronan to Sloan for his surgery. Dr. La Quaglia, the surgeon of the angels(his nickname) has agreed to operate on Ronan to try to remove the mass out of his abdomen. Our plan is to try to shrink everything with the chemo, and hopefully we can shrink it to where the surgery won’t be so complicated. I will be working on getting all of Ronan’s information to them by next week. They want to see everything. It’s scary to think about the future now; everything is so uncertain.
Ronan is hitting his low point today. I can tell by the way he is acting. He is a little less active today. Not much, but a little. He is sleeping so hard right now too. His little body is working overtime. I will never stop saying the words, it’s not fair. It’s not fair and it will never be fair and nobody will ever be able to fix this. We will never get this time back as a family and this pain will never be forgotten. Stupid cancer.
P.S. The hoarding pile, as Woody likes to call it, is gone:) Check mark, please:)