One day at a time

I’m still banned from the hospital, thanks to this cold. I feel better today. But the fact that I have not been able to see my baby for 2 days is killing me. I’ve been resting and trying to be productive at the same time. Last night I took Liam and Quinn for a little TLC. A.k.a….shopping. We went to Fashion Square for new shoes and such. We then met our friends, Mark, Linds, and baby Kaidyn at Sauce for dinner. The older boys were in HEAVEN. They are obsessed with Mark, who has been known to spend a lot of time at our house playing video games with the boys. I think Mark may be their favorite adult:)They spent the entire dinner chatting away with him. So cute. After dinner we came home to do homework and I tried to wrap my head around my very unorganized house. Feeling overwhelmed, I called my trusty friend, Danielle, to come over and help me with some things. Never mind the fact that it was 8:00 at night:) She helped me with my laundry and the piles of bills, mail, school papers, receipts, cards, etc…. that have been piling up. She even got out my checkbook and wrote out checks for me. In the middle of all of this, my other angel, Gay came by to drop off some of her amazing homemade chicken noodle soup. She came inside and helped get my little rascals to bed while D and I dealt with the mounds of paperwork. She read them books and had them read to her. Talk about a life saver! Did I mention that Gay has 3 boys of her own?! For her to take the time to leave her family, to come and help ours, means so much to us.

Woody, Auntie Karen, and Mimi Kay have been keeping Ronan company. His counts are up but he did get more platelets today. Hoping to have him come home tomorrow night or Friday. Now, it’s really depending on me to getting well. I’m hoping another night of sleep in my own bed will do the trick. Before all this happened I seriously used to pinch myself in the arm to make sure my life was real. I was sitting on the floor putting on my shoes today, and I did the same thing. I was hoping not to feel the pinch, but I did; and it hurt. I still feel like this can’t be real and I am just having a very bad dream that I can’t wake up from.

My friend Lisa stopped by today and brought me lunch. It felt good to see her, she is the woman who is like a second mom to me. We sat and she held me as we cried together. She can’t believe this is happening either. She reminded me of what I need to keep remembering…. that I can only take things day by day, and I can’t think about what could be in the future. That will only drive me crazy. She also brought me some Vitamin B that I will be taking daily to help my body deal with the stress of all of this. I cannot be getting sick this early on in the game. We’ve got way too many hard months ahead of us for my body to be shutting down already.

Woody is taking the boys’ to see Ronan tonight and Wood will stay the night there. Our nurse told Mimi that Ronan will be able to do his second round of chemo from the outpatient clinic! This means we won’t have to check into the hospital overnight. We will be able to do the treatments during the day, at the clinic and then go home. We will start this September 13th, if all goes well with his counts and blood levels. I think this makes Woody a little nervous just for the fact that he will be at home around Liam and Quinn while his immune system is so low. We will try it out and hope for the best.

I just remembered that Ronan’s dressing change of his broviac is tonight. I am so upset that I can’t be there to hold him while they do this. Ugh. He gets so upset and scared. My heart is breaking as we speak.