One day at a time

I’m still banned from the hospital, thanks to this cold. I feel better today. But the fact that I have not been able to see my baby for 2 days is killing me. I’ve been resting and trying to be productive at the same time. Last night I took Liam and Quinn for a little TLC. A.k.a….shopping. We went to Fashion Square for new shoes and such. We then met our friends, Mark, Linds, and baby Kaidyn at Sauce for dinner. The older boys were in HEAVEN. They are obsessed with Mark, who has been known to spend a lot of time at our house playing video games with the boys. I think Mark may be their favorite adult:)They spent the entire dinner chatting away with him. So cute. After dinner we came home to do homework and I tried to wrap my head around my very unorganized house. Feeling overwhelmed, I called my trusty friend, Danielle, to come over and help me with some things. Never mind the fact that it was 8:00 at night:) She helped me with my laundry and the piles of bills, mail, school papers, receipts, cards, etc…. that have been piling up. She even got out my checkbook and wrote out checks for me. In the middle of all of this, my other angel, Gay came by to drop off some of her amazing homemade chicken noodle soup. She came inside and helped get my little rascals to bed while D and I dealt with the mounds of paperwork. She read them books and had them read to her. Talk about a life saver! Did I mention that Gay has 3 boys of her own?! For her to take the time to leave her family, to come and help ours, means so much to us.

Woody, Auntie Karen, and Mimi Kay have been keeping Ronan company. His counts are up but he did get more platelets today. Hoping to have him come home tomorrow night or Friday. Now, it’s really depending on me to getting well. I’m hoping another night of sleep in my own bed will do the trick. Before all this happened I seriously used to pinch myself in the arm to make sure my life was real. I was sitting on the floor putting on my shoes today, and I did the same thing. I was hoping not to feel the pinch, but I did; and it hurt. I still feel like this can’t be real and I am just having a very bad dream that I can’t wake up from.

My friend Lisa stopped by today and brought me lunch. It felt good to see her, she is the woman who is like a second mom to me. We sat and she held me as we cried together. She can’t believe this is happening either. She reminded me of what I need to keep remembering…. that I can only take things day by day, and I can’t think about what could be in the future. That will only drive me crazy. She also brought me some Vitamin B that I will be taking daily to help my body deal with the stress of all of this. I cannot be getting sick this early on in the game. We’ve got way too many hard months ahead of us for my body to be shutting down already.

Woody is taking the boys’ to see Ronan tonight and Wood will stay the night there. Our nurse told Mimi that Ronan will be able to do his second round of chemo from the outpatient clinic! This means we won’t have to check into the hospital overnight. We will be able to do the treatments during the day, at the clinic and then go home. We will start this September 13th, if all goes well with his counts and blood levels. I think this makes Woody a little nervous just for the fact that he will be at home around Liam and Quinn while his immune system is so low. We will try it out and hope for the best.

I just remembered that Ronan’s dressing change of his broviac is tonight. I am so upset that I can’t be there to hold him while they do this. Ugh. He gets so upset and scared. My heart is breaking as we speak.

4 thoughts on “One day at a time”

  1. Your new motto is so right on… day by day, hour by hour, and even minute by minute sometimes. Hang in there and know that you have a lot of people praying for your little rockstar. Take comfort in the fact that your friends and your community are here for you to lean on. They will hold you when your feet buckle under you.

    Keeping you in my thoughts and my prayers as always. xo

  2. You and the children are all in my prayers. Peggy Renaud is my
    neice. I’m sending a big healing hug. Your rockstar is just
    a beautiful child. God bless you and hold you tight.
    Dorene

  3. I know you can’t stand it being there. I’m still praying for your health and well-being. Ronan is in great hands. I’m so thankful for all of your wonderful friends. Isn’t God good! He knows who you need and when you need them. Try and get a good night’s rest. I’ll be praying you do.

  4. Maya, I so wish that I could be there to hug you and talk to you, help you however I could. I am not always able to get to the computer but I think of you guys everyday. I say prayers and my kiddos know about baby Ronan. Kenna talks about him. I am sick to my stomach every time I read what you are going through. If I could take it all away for you I would in a heartbeat. I know we haven’t been super tight the past years but sister, please know that I love you and your kids with every bone in my body and I want this to all go away, be healed and pass fast!!! So much love to you, your baby Ronan, your Liam and Quinn and Woody. Carry on with your chin up stong mama! Everythings gonna be alright! XOXO

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