Day 5 of Chemo… DONE!!!!

Today was a very good day.

Ronan’s spirits were great, and he smiled a lot. This was our last day of treatment for cycle one.

Ronan did great.

No side effects at all!!!!

We should be going home on Thursday — thank the Lord! It will be so nice to have Ronan back home where we are all most comfortable.

We spent the morning hanging out, and our friends Christy and Jack came to visit. They always make us smile. Woody stopped by for a bit, and we met with the doctor who will be in charge of Ronan from now on. Dr. Wood will still guide us and follow our journey, but Dr. Watanabe will be the main man in charge of Ronan moving forward.

Mimi Kay and Papa Charlie came, and I went home for about four hours. It was just what I needed. I took a solid two-hour nap and a nice shower. It’s amazing how much better a shower can make you feel.

While I was home, Mimi and Papa worked their magic and actually got Ronan to explore the playroom on our floor. He had been refusing to go with me, so this was a huge breakthrough. He painted a picture, drove a remote-control car, and just enjoyed being a child.

I could not have been happier to hear that.

I had mentioned to my friend Gay that I was going to have to set up a preschool at home for R, since he won’t be able to go back to PVUMC this year. Not two hours later, she showed up at my house with a beautiful easel for Ronan, along with a bunch of other learning supplies.

Talk about an angel.

I am so, so, so grateful for her friendship. She has such an amazing heart. I can’t wait for the day when my three boys can play with her three boys all together again.

My little M came to visit too! Her sister told her to stop being so neurotic about being pregnant and get down here to see Ronan. Marisa cracks me up. She Googled whether or not she should visit a hospital while pregnant, and Google decided she was too “germy” and could infect Ronan. That’s why she had been staying away.

Once she was here, I told her to stop it and come into Ronan’s room. Our nurse, Danny, was there when Marisa was explaining her Google findings to Mimi and me, and he just started laughing. He informed us that there are plenty of pregnant nurses working there and that Marisa’s research was slightly flawed.

It gave us all a good chuckle. I’m so glad to hear M is not “germy,” because I’ve missed her way too much.

I ended my night with a visit from my friend Danielle. Ronan was sleeping the whole time she was there, and I was sad she didn’t get to see him, but we sat for two hours and just talked. We talked about how funny and crazy life is, how you never know what your path will be, how things can change in an instant, and how important it is to be present in your day-to-day life.

We laughed a lot and talked about normal things too.

I feel renewed after sitting with her. Her light and energy were so positive. I can tell she is not scared about what we are going through. She knows everything is going to turn out all right.

I’ve had a lot of people ask why my mom is not here. I figured I would explain that now — not that I owe anyone an explanation.

First, if my mom lived here, she would absolutely be here. But putting her on a plane full of germs is not something I’m comfortable with right now. Ronan’s immune system is so vulnerable. The littlest thing could trigger an infection. I can’t take that chance, and my mom tends to get sick every time she travels here.

Another big reason — and I’m saying this with tears pouring down my cheeks — is that my mom is not a source of strength for me at this moment.

I am afraid that having my mom here would make this all too real. It would make me want to fall to the floor and never get back up. I cannot bear to look into her eyes and see the pain she is feeling. It would kill me.

I need my mom to get a little stronger before she comes to see Ronan. For his sake, and for mine.

I want her here more than anything, but right now I have to surround myself with people who are strong enough to walk through this with me. My mom is not there yet.

I know she will be soon. She seems to be getting stronger every day. Her time will come when I need her here — it’s just not right now.

I’m tired, and it’s time to cuddle up with my little angel.

Thank you for thinking of us, loving us, and supporting us. Even after everything we are going through, I am so very blessed to have the life I do.

Every day with Ronan is a beautiful day.

P.S. Screw you, cancer!!!

There. I feel better now. 😉