Today was a very good day. Ronan’s spirits were great and he smiled a lot. This is our last day of treatment for cycle one. Ronan did great! No side effects at all!!!! We should be going home on Thursday, thank the lord! It will be so nice to have Ronan back home where we are all the most comfortable.
We spent the morning hanging out, and our friends, Christy and Jack came to visit. They always make us smile:) Woody came by for a bit and we talked to the doctor who will be in charge of Ronan from now on. Dr. Wood will still be here to guide us and follow our journey; but Dr. Watanabe will be the main man in charge of Ronan. Mimi Kay and Papa Charlie came and I went home for about 4 hours. It was just what I needed. I took a good 2 hour nap and a nice shower. It’s amazing how much better a shower can make you feel. While I was at home, Mimi and Papa worked their magic and actually got Ronan to go and explore the playroom that they have on our floor. He has been refusing to visit it with me, so this was a huge breakthrough. He painted a picture, drove a remote control car, and just enjoyed being a child. I could not have been happier with this news.
I had mentioned to my friend, Gay, that I was going to have to set up a preschool at home for R, since he won’t be able to go back to PVUMC this year. Not 2 hours later, she showed up at my house with a beautiful eisel for Ronan, along with a bunch of other learning supplies. Talk about an angel. I am so so so so very grateful for her friendship. She has such an amazing heart. I can’t wait for the day that my 3 boys can play with her 3 boys, all together again. My little M came to visit too! Her sister told her to stop being so neurotic about being pregnant and get down here to see Ronan. Marisa cracks me up. She Googled whether or not she should visit a hospital while she was pregnant and Google decided for her that she was too germy and could infect Ronan. That’s why she has been staying away. Once she was here, I told her to stop it and to come into Ronan’s room. Our guy nurse Danny, was here when Marisa was telling Mimi and I about her findings on Google and he just started laughing. He thought is was hilarious and informed us that there are a ton of nurses working here that are pregnant and that’s Marisa’s findings were wrong. It gave us all a good chuckle and I’m so glad to hear M is not “germy” because I’ve missed her way too much. I ended my night with a visit from my friend, Danielle. Ronan was sleeping the whole time she was here and I was sad she didn’t get to see him, but we sat for a good 2 hours and just talked. We talked about how funny and crazy life is… how you never know what your path will be… how things can change in an instant…how important it is just to be present in your day-to-day things….. We laughed a lot and talked about normal things too. I feel renewed after sitting with her. Her light and energy was so positive and I can tell she is not scared about what we are going through. She knows everything is going to turn out all right.
I’ve had a lot of people ask me why my mom is not here. I figured I’d explain that now… not that I owe anyone an explanation. My mom knows my reasonings and she supports me. First off, let me start by saying that if my mom lived here, she would absolutely be here. But to put her on a plane full of germs is just something I’m not comfortable with right now. Ronan’s immune system is so very vulnerable. The littlest thing could set him off for an infection. I can’t take any chances on that and my mom tends to get sick with a cold or something every time she comes here for a visit. Another big reason, and I’m saying this with tears pouring down my cheeks, is my mom is not a source of strength for me at this moment. I am afraid that having my mom here would make this all too real. It would make me want to fall to the floor and never want to get back up. I cannot bear to look into her eyes and see the pain she is feeling. It would KILL me. I need my mom to get a little stronger before she comes to see Ronan. For his sake, and mine. I want her here more than anything, but I have to surround myself with people who are strong enough to go through this with me right now. My mom is not there yet. I know she will be soon… she seems to be getting stronger everyday. Her time will come when I need her here… it’s just not right now.
I’m tired and it’s time to cuddle up with my little angel. Thanks for thinking of us, loving us, and supporting us. Even after all we’re going through.. I am so very blessed to have the life I do…. everyday with Ronan is a beautiful day.
P.S. Screw you, Cancer!!!
There. I feel better now;)