I love you more than Liam loves Bacon.

 

 

 

Ronan. As you know, your post got hijacked last night due to some man and his ignorant comments about childhood cancer. The only person here that I am apologizing to, is you Ronan. I’m so sorry that I didn’t get to properly tuck you in last night due to having to call some guy a fuckwad. Somebody has to get their hands dirty in this game of childhood cancer, Ro. I guess I’m that person now because I am here to say what is the truth. People need to stop being ignorant when it comes to things like childhood cancer. The world of people who are now aware, are getting really sick and tired of it. I am not going to be silenced because I am worried that I am going to offend someone. I am not here to make friends. I’m here to make FAMILY. A whole, new big family that is going to take this world by storm and stand up for the things they believe in, such as you and childhood cancer. People need to stop looking at childhood cancer like it is the plague. People need to start looking beyond the scary world of childhood cancer and see all the beauty that can come out of it. And yes, I get to say this even after you died. Even after childhood cancer ripped you from my arms, I can still see the beauty in all of this while calling some douchebag a fuckwad. This man has since written a public apology. Actually, I’m not sure he even really wrote it, but that is what he is claiming. Whomever wrote it did a really shitty job. It lacked any ounce of feeling or real emotion. This apology means nothing to me. It’s going to take more than a few words, to even start to undo the damage this man has done and all the people he has pissed off. A lot of people are asking for him to resign. I’m not going to ask of this. I’m going to ask that something really, really good come from all of this. My wish is that because of all of this, he is now aware of how NOT rare childhood cancer really is. I am going to wish that he takes this lesson and hugs his kids tighter. Laughs with them longer. And really takes the time to pour every ounce of love that he is capable of feeling, into his kids. All because he is so incredibly grateful that he is not the parent who is driving down the road while taking their dead child’s blanket and inhaling it just so they can be reminded of how their child once smelled. My wish is that he will become the best father and human being that he can possibly be. And just for good measure, he can donate a ton of money to your foundation. Although that opportunity may have flown out the window when I decided to call him a fuckwad. So maybe he should be the one to now push for this Barbie to get made. He can turn his wrong into a right but it is going to take much more that a heartless apology letter.

So Ro…. what have I been up to? So much. Too much? Maybe, but as of now I’m in “the zone.” I have a lot of things to get done. I left the house at 7:30 this morning and I am just now getting home. It is 11:30 at night. To say it was a long day, is an understatement and I have the headache to prove it. But being the good mama that I am, I could not go to sleep tonight without tucking you in. I could sit here and catch you up on so many things that have been going on, but I am having a hard time even formulating my thoughts so I am just going to tell you this one little bedtime story. The best one of the night where no fuckwads or douchebags are involved. I had a little meeting tonight. A meeting all about you and your foundation. It lasted almost 4 hours. I sat in a room full of the most gorgeous women that ever lived. One’s that I believe in so much because of the way I have watched them believe in you. You know how I often just sit back and quietly watch things? I do this a lot. I like to observe and sit with things. I depend on you a lot to give me the green light on people, places or things. I know you know I listen to you, more than I listen to anybody. Tonight, you were so right. I was in a room that was so full of love that it could have circled the moon and back. I was talking about you to this group of women, which is still so hard for me to do because all I want to do is cry and for you to appear and for all of this to go away. But as we have established, you are not physically coming back and I am now left here to try to fix this broken mess of a world. As I was talking about you, I was in the middle of saying how I want to do amazing things for your foundation to raise money, but how I feel like this market of charity events is oversaturated with things like Balls, Galas, and other fancy things. This is GREAT for other foundations as it does generate a lot of money….. but  I don’t feel like this is the right direction for your foundation. Somebody said out loud, “Then what would be your dream event?” My reply was, “A huge rock concert.” Just as I said these words, a very large, heavy book came flying off of the shelf and landed on the floor. BAM! The timing of this book flying off of the shelf after the exact moment that I said these words, was so uncanny that I know it had to be you. I just had to be. It was your way of giving me the green light. A rock concert is what we shall shoot for, baby boy. You said so yourself. I truly believe this and I am pretty sure so does everyone else in that room tonight. You are the best little boy, Ro. Thanks for being there for me when I need you the most. Thanks for never leaving my side. I’m so lucky to be your mama.

I’ve got to end this tonight due to my raging headache. I’ll do it with tears running down my cheeks like I usually do, but tonight it’s not only because of how much I miss you. It’s also because of how LUCKY I feel to have the support and love that I do. Because of how much of an honor it was for me to be a part of these women tonight. The fact that they have opened their hearts to us will forever leave me humbled and grateful in a way that I never knew was possible. I am in awe of each one of them and I am so inspired by them; for so many different reasons. Tonight my very big, very broken heart feels a little big lighter. Thanks, Ro baby. None of this would be happening if it weren’t for you. I love you.

G’nite baby doll. Sweet dreams. I hope you are safe.

xoxo

Dear Mr. Andrew Fuckwad Becker of the American Cancer Society

Yes, I called you Fuckwad. You have really, really pissed a lot of people off. I would really hate to be you right now. Actually, you know what? I’ve changed my mind. I would trade places with you, in an instant. Do you know why? Because when I was trying to find a picture of your pathetic face tonight, to print out and attach to my punching bag, I read that you have 3 children. 3 healthy children. I too, had 3 children. 3 boys to be exact. Now I have just 2 boys, among the living. I had to have my 3-year-old son, Ronan, cremated, just 8 months ago because he died from childhood cancer. It sucks to be you because of the ignorance you have chosen to display and the backlash you are going to receive. But it really, really sucks to be me because I have a child who is dead. So therefore, I would trade places with you in an instant. I would rather have my head on a platter, with 3 healthy kids, whom you get to tuck in at night, then to have to be the parent of one who has died from this “rare,” disease called childhood cancer.

Have you even given any thought to all the kids who suffer and die from childhood cancer? This rare disease of childhood cancer which is actually in fact the NUMBER 1 CAUSE OF DEATH BY DISEASE FOR CHILDREN! I really doubt it because I’m sure you are too busy hiding behind your big, fancy desk in your big, fancy suit. I have given a lot of thought to all the kids who are suffering or who have suffered from childhood cancer. One in particular, my Ronan. My Ronan who was the love of my life. Who was the most beautiful little boy who ever existed and I’m not just saying this because I’m his mom. Anybody who knows of Ronan and our story, will tell you this. A lot of people know about Ronan because he was that amazing. Did I forget to mention that I too, have a blog? I do, all because of Ronan. As of now, I have 2,264,051 million hits on this little blog of mine. They all know about Ronan, and now, they are all going to know about you too. I am going to post your words below, just so my little blog readers can get an idea of exactly what you have written. I’ll let them decide for themselves, if you are indeed the fuckwad that I have called you out as being tonight.

Bald Barbie Demand is an Over-Reach

We apologize if the below post offended some of our readers. We realize that in our zeal to highlight an issue that deserves debate, we may have sounded insensitive. This post was written to provoke debate about the proliferation of products marketed to raise awareness, and we think asked legitimate questions. We believe discussions like this can help focus all our efforts more closely on our shared goal of defeating cancer.

You may have seen in the news that a Facebook campaign is underway to pressure Mattel, the maker of Barbie Dolls, to manufacture a bald Barbie. Cancer is one of, but not the sole reason for this campaign. The group’s Facebook page notes,

“We would like to see a Beautiful and Bald Barbie made to help young girls who suffer from hair loss due to cancer treatments, Alopecia or Trichotillomania. Also, for young girls who are having trouble coping with their mother’s hair loss from chemo.”

To the extent that this effort is about fighting cancer, we should ask ourselves what it accomplishes, who would benefit, and while we’re at it, how about asking if a bald Barbie could in fact do more harm than good for kids and parents, not to mention Mattel.

In a world already littered with cancer totems such as rubber bracelets and pink everything (a limited number of which are from ACS initiatives) , do we need one more thing whose function is to “raise awareness” about cancer? Is raising awareness worthwhile? Over at Mary Tyler Mom, who herself is the mother of a child who died from cancer, the answer is a resounding “no.” She makes the excellent suggestion that a donation of $10-$20 to support cancer research would make far more of an impact than buying a doll.

We know that funding more research is key, and every dollar helps, but who would benefit from sales of these dolls? Would it really be about fundraising?

The downside to raising awareness has been well documented by activists in the breast cancer arena. Awareness of breast cancer, for example, has been so thoroughly achieved, and many women are so afraid of the words breast cancer, that about one in 20 who are diagnosed with LCIS, a condition that may lead to breast cancer, are choosing bilateral mastectomy; the surgical removal of both breasts.

This isn’t to say that awareness doesn’t have an important role in defeating cancer. It can be incredibly important when it comes to informing people about ways to reduce risk or about getting recommended screenings regularly. But there may be better ways to attack childhood cancer. Just like radiation and chemotherapy, awareness must be deployed thoughtfully and carefully.

Childhood cancer is exceedingly rare. I would also argue that cancer is rare among the age group of women likely to have daughters young enough to play with Barbies. Women have about a one in 50 chance of developing any kind of cancer before the age of 40 . Which brings me to the claim that bald Barbies can help improve the self-image of little girls who are faced with having lost their hair, or seeing their mothers lose their hair. If they are mass marketed, many of these dolls will end up in the hands of girls who luckily aren’t likely to be touched by cancer in themselves or their mothers. But could they end up being terrorized by the prospect of it in a far outsized proportion to their realistic chances? There is no reason to create this sort of fear. It’s why we don’t see advocates calling for lightning strike dolls.

My final concern is the no-win position Mattel finds itself in. Last year the company went above and beyond, and made one bald Barbie for a four-year-old who was going through chemotherapy. Now the company risks a severe backlash of ill will if it does not accede to the demands of the social media mob. After all, what is more sympathetic than a little girl with cancer? How could this corporation be so unfeeling as to not make the major investment required to put a new product on store shelves? What happens when the next group demands a custom Barbie to represent its social concerns?

Sadly, some 1340 children under age 14 are projected to die from cancer this year. Each one is a tragedy, and they and their families deserve sympathy and support, but it is critically important to pull back from this exercise in consumer bullying and ask whether the need this movement is rising to meet is as big as imagined, and whether it will result in any meaningful support reaching those who need it.

You totally fucked yourself from the get go when you used the word, “pressure,” in regards to the Facebook campaign to get Mattel on board to make a bald Barbie. Couldn’t you have chosen a nicer word? Who the hell pissed in your cereal this morning to get it off to such a bad start? Nobody is pressuring Mattel to do anything. Some women, came up with a beautiful idea and simply put it on the table. It was such a beautiful idea, that a lot of people have decided to get behind this idea in regards to trying to make it happen. That’s how you get shit done, you presumptions asshole. It’s called passion. It’s called a vision. It’s called a dream. Things that you obviously have no idea about. Things that my Ronan and so many other kids out there will never get to feel because they are being murdered by childhood cancer. MURDERED you Fuckwad!!!!!! Chew on that for a while. Try to swallow that pill without choking on it. And it’s all due to the lack of funding that childhood cancer gets. Because its too sad of a story, because bad things don’t happen to good people, and because their are too many people looking the other way. This is all such bullshit. These kids are our future. We as adults should be screaming the loudest and the hardest for them. They should be the one’s getting the MOST funding out there. I would have traded my life, in a second for Ronan’s but he never even stood a chance and I’m blaming this on our greedy, self absorbed society. Share the fucking wealth. Give these children a voice and a chance! None of them deserve any of this. It’s time to stop looking the other way. I now know this, the hard way. I now know this because I am living proof of what childhood cancer can do to the sweetest most innocent child. I will have to live with this for the rest of my life. I vow to fix this epidemic in this society. So someday, another Ronan won’t have to die. What do you plan to do about this Mr. Andrew Fuckwad Becker? Besides be blinded by your ignorance? I really hope you choose to wake up and be part of this change. I really hope you take this opportunity to take this wrong and turn it into a right. I really hope you change your insensitive ways. I really hope you prove me wrong and make me eat my words to you.

With your pea sized brain, Mr. Asshole Fuckwad Becker, you asked 3 little questions. The first being, “What would having this Barbie made, accomplish?” Look dude, I’m no rocket scientist, but are you even serious with this question? My 8-year-old could this answer question, in his sleep. A better question my be, what WOULDN’T this accomplish? It could accomplish SO MANY THINGS. It could bring the awareness to childhood cancer that it deserves so that one day, maybe a parent will not have to watch helplessly as their child dies. Awareness=Funding and Funding= CURES. The survival rate of breast cancer is proof of that. Even if the making of this Barbie, only accomplished something so small, which is actually huge in my eyes, such as making one child smile…… well that is good enough for me.

Your second question is actually a good one because so many people are so unaware of where the money goes in which they are so generously donating. So, where would all the money go? I have no idea and I don’t care as long as it goes 100% to the research that is actually going to make a difference. As long as it may actually save the life of a child. I selfishly want it all to go to Neuroblastoma, which is what my Ronan died from. It is actually one of the least funded pediatric cancers, but in my mind it should be the one funded most. Obviously I am biased because of my Ronan, but if you had been his parent, you would understand. I have a question for you, Mr. Asshole Fuckwad Becker. Where does all the money go that the American Cancer Society raises? To CEO whom I’m hearing, makes about a million dollars in compensation per year. I know where it doesn’t go. To helping fund and support pediatric cancers. This makes me really sad. I have friends who worked really hard to raise money for the Relay for Life this past year. I will NEVER in my LIFE, support this organization unless some serious changes are made such as supporting childhood cancer. I am not going to support an organization that uses the money to pay overhead, salaries, fringe benefits and FUCKING TRAVEL EXPENSES. I will NEVER support a organization like yours again, Mr. Andrew Fuckwad Becker. I hope my lovely little blog readers will choose to follow my lead on this one. They are pretty amazing and I also know they are pretty pissed so I am not worried about them. I know they are able to sleep at night due to knowing that they are going to help be the change in childhood cancer that we so need. It takes an army, you know. And I have a really, really great army behind me. You, on the other hand may need a long, exotic vacation somewhere in order to sleep again. Please be sure to have an extra margarita, on me. But I won’t be paying for it out of my son’s foundation. I’ll be using that money, to actually make a big dent in this neuroblastoma world. Because due to my son dying, I get to make the world a better place. Lucky, aren’t I???

Your 3rd question is just as stupid as your first. Pull your head out of your asshole, and think about this. I’m pretty sure by now, you can come up with the reasons why the making of this doll, would not harm anyone as long as the proceeds go to the right places. I never knew making a child smile, could hurt someone. Childhood cancer has been ignored for long enough, which is why children are still dying from it. If you are too ignorant to answer this question tonight, Mr. Asshole Fuckwad Becker, I’ll make it easy for you. Ask yourself this. WHAT IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD???????? Awwwwww!!! Did a lightbulb just go off in your head? Did a tear just slide down your cheek?! I doubt it. Because you don’t have a child with cancer and you never will. But guess what? I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it can happen to you. It can happen to anyone!!!! I wouldn’t wish this on anyone or any child. But FUCK. If something like this does ever happen to you or anyone that you know, you are going to feel like the worlds biggest prick; and rightfully so. I hope you know by your little post today, we can all read between the lines. What you are actually saying is, “DON’T RAISE AWARENESS! KEEP KILLING OUR KIDS!” Way to go, Mr. Fuckwad Andrew Becker. I hope you feel like a winner tonight.

Alright Mr. Asshole Fuckwad Becker- I’m going to end this post tonight. Trust me, I could go on and on and on about your dumbass post but I’ve grown tired of you. I’m going to let my lovely little blog readers, handle the rest for me. I’m sure your inbox is being bombarded with emails at this very moment. You’ve now taken my night, and hijacked the writing I get to do to my dead son, due to this “rare disease.” For that alone, you can go and fuck yourself. And no sweet dreams for you. Only for Ro. Always for Ro.

Sincerly in the nicest way possible,

Maya M. Thompson

Ronan’s mama

TO ALL MY LOVELIES,

Here is some more information about our dear new friend, Mr. Asshole Fuckwad Becker. Feel free to let him know your opinions, whatever they may be. I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.

Andrew Becker is Director of Media Relations. He is the New York-based member of the national media relations team. His work includes all patient and family services offered by ACS, as well as global health, corporate finance, and supporting the overall brand. Before joining ACS, Andrew spent a decade using his political communication and public relations training for good instead of evil. He was involved in the first few years of the American Legacy Foundation’s truth campaign, as well as other tobacco prevention work, and counts projects for NIH and the Ad Council among his proudest professional achievements. Andrew is a father of three, so he expects to be working for decades to come. E-mail him at andrew.becker@cancer.org.