Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine Taylor’s special guest would be you.


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Ronan. I haven’t slept much in the past few days, but not because of the usual insomnia that I have struggled with since you died. I haven’t slept much due to the most unexpected surprise from a girl named Taylor. I know you know which Taylor I’m talking about. That girl named Taylor who fell in love with your beautiful blue eyes so many years ago and made me aware of her love for you when she invited me to her Speak Now World Tour, the Red Tour, and now her 1989 Tour. That girl named Taylor who wrote a song for you and simply called it, “Ronan.” That girl named Taylor Swift who continues to sprinkle her magic everywhere with her heart of gold and selfless acts of kindness.

I follow everything she does in this world and not in a creepy way. I mean, I’m not swimming in an ocean to try to get to her house or anything. More so in way like when I hear about how she showed up at a hospital and spent hours on the floor of a children’s oncology unit, I jump up and down and do some ridiculously dorky dance. Or how I like to blast her music when I’m having a really bad day because it instantly makes me smile and feel like I can take on the world. Or the latest example being how I have been following her most recent tour online and every morning before school your brothers and I freak out about who her special guest was the night before. “Boys! Did you see who Taylor had as her special guest last night?!” We do our usual, OMG’s of it was, “The Weekend! Lorde! Imagine Dragons! Or my personal favorite, “Lena Dunham!!!!” We then go on to name who we would want her to bring on next and place bets on who will be right. I’m still holding out for Justin Timberlake. Never in a freaking million years did I ever think to wish for her special guest to be you.

We found out pretty last minute that we were going to her concert. As we were driving out together as a family, Quinn chirped in, “Mom, do we to spend time with Taylor like last time?” I didn’t want to get any hopes up as I honestly didn’t know what to expect, so I just told everyone the truth which was I didn’t know. Poppy was in the back chatting away and it went something like this, “Taylllor. I gonna show Tayllllor my meow meow shoes. MEEEOOWWWW. MEEEOWW,” referring to the Mini Melissa Kitty cat shoes she was wearing. I meowed back at her, of course.

Once we arrived at the concert to the best seats ever, or so I thought, we were soon whisked away by Taylor’s Tour Manager to sit somewhere else. That somewhere else being the back pit area where Taylor’s parents sit. Taylor’s dad, Scott, immediately recognized us and gave us the warmest welcome. We chatted with him as he caught us up on how the tour was going, how life was going, etc… He is always so much fun to talk to and always has the most interesting life lessons to share. He then goes, “Have you seen Taylor yet?” I told him we hadn’t. He then told us he would be right back as he was going to check in with her. We happily waited. Poppy was so entertained by the lights, the crowd and the music that she was keeping me more than busy by twirling her around. A few minutes later we were greeted by a really nice man who said, “Come with me, Taylor wants to see you now.” Taylor’s dad reappeared and told us that Taylor wanted to see us before the show because she knew if she waited until the concert ended at 11:00, Poppy would be asleep. Smart little cookie.

As we walked down the hallway of the arena, Quinn looked up at me, his eyes as big as the sky and goes, “Are we going to see Taylor now?” I felt my heart flip flop due to the look on his face as I told him yes. We waited for backstage for Taylor and soon she came walking out, her eyes twinkling as she scurried over to give us hugs all around. Her mom was with her which I was so happy about. I’ve been wanting to give her a hug for the longest time as we all have been keeping her very close to our hearts. We chatted for a bit. Snapped a picture. Poppy clung to me, but was so infatuated with Taylor and her sparkly coat. She said in her little voice, “Mom, Taylor soooooo sparkly!” She then proceeded to show Taylor her lipgloss and we bonded over the importance of a really good lipgloss, especially when it comes in the color red. We said our goodbyes as Taylor had to run onto the stage to start her show. She grabbed me for one last hug and I felt her hug me extra tight. I thanked her for everything as much as I could without bursting into a big pile of mushy tears. We headed back to our seats as we waited for Queen Tay to take the stage.

Once Taylor appeared and the music started, it was on like Donkey Kong. Poppy a.k.a Pearl (my lovies who follow me on Instagram will know what I’m talking about))) was on fire. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react to all the lights, loud music and thousands of people, but she turned that Taylor Swift concert into her own personal dance floor. I was dancing with her, twirling her about for a good 40 minutes when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I looked back and it was Taylor’s Tour Manager, Erica. She had her cell phone close to her face and goes, “Taylor wants to know if it’s alright for her to sing, Ronan tonight. As soon as she said those words, tears sprang from my eyes and I yelled back, “YES!!!” I turned around to you brothers and daddy who had just watched the whole interaction. Your daddy goes, “What??” I told him what Erica had just told me and his eyes fell to the floor. He looked up at me and goes, “How are you going to handle that?” He knows I can’t listen to that song without sobbing hysterically. No matter how many times I’ve heard it, no matter how many times I listen to it, I ALWAYS cry. I told him I didn’t know, but the moment to me just felt so right that I did not even hesitate to say yes.

At the time, I did not understand what it truly meant to have Taylor perform that song again. I had always just assumed that she never would, therefore I had not even had time to make up an imaginary scenario in my head of what it would be like if she did. In other words, I was in no way prepared for what was about to happen. I stood with her dad after hearing the news. He didn’t know how Taylor was going to get through it as she had such a hard time singing it the first time. He didn’t know how I was going to get through it. He went and made sure the pit area was full of Kleenex. I wandered up to the front as I heard Taylor start to talk and the crowd become earily quiet and respectful to the words she was saying. I felt Taylor’s mom grab my hand. The next thing I knew, Taylor was talking and she was talking about me, about you, about the brutally heartbreaking world of childhood cancer. I think my body floated above me for a while as I could hear what Taylor was saying, but I was in such a state of shock that I could not process her words. My entire body was covered in goosebumps, but I felt like I had the softest, safest blanket wrapped about me which can only be explained as being you. I felt you everywhere. I swear I felt your little hand inside of mine as Taylor’s angelic voice started to sing your song. Guess what happened once she started to sing? My eyes welled up with tears, but I didn’t cry. Instead, I sang right along with Taylor the entire time. You would think in the most emotional situation, I would have completely lost it, but I didn’t. I think the reason why is because I could literally feel your little arms wrapped around me. I have not felt your presence so close to me since you were physically still here on this earth. It was absolutely one of the purest, most magical moments of my life.

I spent the rest of the night dancing with your little sister and trying to enjoy the beautiful moment that had just occurred. I wasn’t sure how your brothers were going to feel about everything, but I think they just feel incredibly proud. It wasn’t until I got home that I started to understand what had really just happened. I sent a slew of text messages to my dear friend, Rachel in New York. I woke her up way too early and curled up on my bathroom floor as we talked and cried about everything. Everything was so surreal. It still is. I am just so incredibly grateful for all the ways Taylor continuously gives her heart and soul to the cause of childhood cancer. She called me brave that night, but she is also brave. She has taken on a cause not because it is the “cool” thing to do or the easy one to take on. She has taken on a cause that NOBODY wants to talk about because of how heartbreaking it is. It would have been so easy for her to pick the “safe and sweet” cause where all she had to do was write a big fat check and call it a day. She didn’t do that. She followed her heart and it led her here and for that I will be eternally grateful. She is the real deal. She is not just talking the talk, but she is walking the walk. Not many people truly do that. She is the bravest soul who is not afraid to take on a little darkness in order to get to the light. Taylor’s light is the brightest light the world of childhood cancer has ever seen and it is about to catch on fire. You two make the BEST team and I am so beyond proud of you both.

Little man. I have to wrap this up now and try to get a couple hours of sleep. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe.

xxoo

Taylor,

Thank you for following your heart in everything that you do. You are changing the world and your heart is leading the way. That is such a beautiful thing to see. I love you so much.

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46 thoughts on “Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine Taylor’s special guest would be you.

  1. Jennifer

    I can imagine how magical it was. I have played it over and over , it was so beautiful!! Taylor certainly has stepped up as a spokeswoman for this cause, she will be forever blessed for her selfless actions.And you Maya working so hard for Ronan and other family’s you are a Rock Star as well xoxoxo

  2. jjmndm

    It was truly a magical night, I have watched it over and over. Taylor is truly the best spokeswoman for this cause, besides YOU! All of your hard work to carry on Ronan’s memory as to help those in the future. Taylor is very selfless and will be forever blessed.

  3. Beth

    I got goose bumps reading this and again more admiration for Taylor Swift. I think you’re such an amazing mother to continue to keep your blog open and talk about Ronan, that you don’t let him be forgotten. May God Bless you and your family. I pray for you and your family every day.

  4. Karen Labbett

    As a role model, Taylor Swift is at the top of the heap. Her parents should be very proud of the girl they created who knows how and where to use the powers she was given. Kudos to all and what a great lead in to September. I do believe this is a story that will have no ending. And that is a good thing!

  5. Karen Petrellese

    Wow! What a beautiful moment for you and your family! I’m 100% sure Ronan was present in those moments!

  6. Michelle from MI

    I have been waiting for your post since I seen this Tues. morning! I could only imagine how incredible this felt being there, as I watched it many times 9on may different links) and never losing the emotional feeling it gave me……. I am pleased it hit the media . Taylor is indeed a remarkable lady and I couldn’t think of another human being to bring attention to this horrific disease. My mother is in hospice now, dying of cancer and though she lived a good, full life I cannot stop the anger that this disease is taking from her and my family. Maya don’t stop doing what your doing….spreading the Ro love and changing people, like me. XO

  7. glenda1203

    Goosebumps!!! I’m so excited for the world of childhood cancer. 3 years later Ronan once again went viral and I’m so excited to see where this fire goes. RoMama you’re a spicy kickass mom. Always RoLove!!! ❤️💜 and Pearl is more famous than Poppy 😂

  8. Katie

    Have missed reading your thoughts. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful experience with us. Your Poppy seems like she is a little firecracker like our Zoe. She keeps me on my toes in the most insanely wild way. Sending love like always.

  9. countryesraa

    Such a beautiful family of a very brave little angel called Ronan. OMG! Every time I read your blog I feel proud for Ronan as he has you as his mom. I wish we could’ eh known of him under different circumstances, but still, he’s our little fighter. I admire your love and fondness of your son, and I wanna tell you, your family is not alone in this. Ronan’s death, as horrible as it was, it still gives some hope for other kids with the same illness, and I admire you for trying to spread the awareness about it through the Ronan Foundation. Other mothers may have called quits the second they lost their child, but you didn’t, you chose to continue Ronan’s fight. Ronan may have lost the battle, but he still beat this horrible illness with the honor of dying fighting, not giving up. Again, Ronan must be really proud to have this kind of love and support from his family, and especially his mother. On behalf of Ronan, I would like to say THANK YOU.

  10. Cassandra Greco

    I am so damn happy for you! Taylor seriously rocks! Ronan seriously rocks and YOU seriously rock! I saw your Instagram post about you writing your blog and I was patiently waiting! 🙂 love you Ronan, Maya, and Family! You all are so inspiring! I also wrote you an email, wasn’t sure if you got it.

    P.s Pearls ROCKS also!

  11. KT

    One of the most beautiful and amazing things I’ve ever experienced. I can’t believe I was able to be there that night. Had chills the whole time. Sweet Ro is everywhere!!! He’s making big stuff happen!!! Love you mama!!! So happen you could feel him all around you. Truly
    a magical gift. xoxo 💜🌠

  12. Amy Roudebush

    Watching this unfold from a distance has been one of the most beautiful things to witness. Stumbling upon your blog prior to SU2C, seeing all of the good things that came after SU2C three years ago, the release of “Ronan” on iTunes, and knowing everything you & RTF have done in the years following is remarkable. The new boost Taylor gave RTF (more like a rocket booster!) couldn’t have happened at a more perfect time. This is rapidly catapulting childhood cancer awareness into places it’s never been before. To go from fundraisers like marathons, auctions, apparel/bracelet sales, etc. that helped you guys fund cutting edge clinical trials to this world-wide spotlight with unlimited potential is phenomenal. It only takes a spark…and because Taylor struck her match, RTF is now a fierce, roaring fire that will never burn out. It’s been an honor to help spread your love story with Ronan and awareness about childhood cancer as best as I can. Your Ronan’s light is everywhere. I’ll proudly light my torch and carry on the fight for ALL kids with you. Our torches are a little easier to carry now because of Taylor…and because of Ronan.

  13. Alyson

    Just so happy you had this experience. Our pediatric cancer family is always searching for a hero and maybe we have found one in this lovely young woman. sending lots of love and hope from another cancer momma.

  14. Lucrezia

    Taylor is such an amazing woman and so are you. I got really emotional while reading this, and I’m truly sorry for Ronan. I’m just sixteen, but when I grow up I wanna be a doctor so I will be able to do everything in my power in order to prevent other children to die because of cancer. I respect you very much and I think you’re the strongest woman on this planet. I love you, best wishes, Lucrezia. xoxo

  15. Wendy

    Maya, YOU are the rockstar! I have never stopped praying for you and your family. I have followed your blog since it began. Your story. Ronan’s story. Your precious family’s story. I love how Taylor Swift has shown you and the world, the most beautiful part of her soul….the love, genuine graciousness and compassion in her heart. The childhood cancer community celebrates the gift of “Ronan” and all that he has inspired others to do. I am an even more grateful fan of Taylor Swift now too…. because of how she has used her God given talents and gifts to reach out to you as well as shining her “sparkle” and light to the awareness of childhood cancer. Thank you for continuing to share your story with us all! xoxo Love and Hugs from Atlanta,GA.

  16. Asha

    ” What if the miracle was even getting ONE MOMENT with you…”
    It sounds like Taylor gave you that one moment where you were with Ro again…

  17. debbie

    Beautiful post for a beautiful boy! I loved hearing Taylor sing an acoustic version of the heartbreaking Ronan, and I think it was ever more lovely then the first time she performed it. But more then her performance, I am floored by her introduction to the song and her words about you and your fight. Even though you could see the raw emotion on her face and her fighting back tears at times (like when she hinted at her mother’s fight), she was so eloquent in telling the world about you, Ronan and childhood cancer. I don’t know how she managed to hold it all together and be so kind and well spoken. She really is a wise old soul I think, and I’m so happy your Ronan chose her and brought you all together. I can’t wait to see what you all accomplish together next!

  18. Shauna841505

    This is so amazing. “Ronan” has always been my favorite T Swift song, and I am so happy for you that she sang it. I cannot hear it without crying, and I can’t imagine how hard that would be for your family and her as well!

  19. Syrina

    Hi Maya,
    I’m a 33 year old mother of three beautiful boys (ages 7,11,13) , just like yourself (and Poppy of course!). I just wanted you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I’ve been reading some of your earlier entries and to say that I could feel some of your pain/anger c is an understatement. You’re so raw and truthful, and I have so much admiration for you because of that. Although, you sure do like the ‘F’ word a lot….kidding! 😉
    I’m a Christian woman, but I do completely agree with you that NO ONE has the right to tell you how to feel or what to think. As individuals we grieve in our own way, and some people find it easy to give advice when everything is hunky dorey in their lives. Everyone that knows me well, knows that I believe in the raw truth and not in sugar coating. I’m not even close to being a loud mouth, but there’s something I detest about people that believe everything is ‘hugs, kisses, and roses’ all the time! And yes you’re right, too many people live in a ‘bubble’ while reality is going on all around them. I definitely identify with you in that way.

    Before I go, I wanted to share a few things. I wish you knew how sincere this was from my heart. My intentions are not to ‘preach’ at you, but to give you my best from the heart. I don’t believe in ‘religion’ but a personal relationship with Him. I believe with all of my heart that your beautiful Ronan is with the One that created his sandy blonde hair, tan skin and piercing blue eyes. I believe he is with the One that knows the number of hairs on his head (and yes I believe he is made whole and fully restored to the way God meant him to be, sandy hair and all!) I believe that his body is completely healed from any sickness and that he is a happy, healthy little man! I believe that he is running around in Heaven with that spunk that God gifted him with the day he breathed life into him. I, like you do not understand why life is so uncertain and why tragedies happen to us and all around us. I get why you question a God that would ‘allow this all to happen’. The truth is that we all are human. It can cause anger in me too as well, but I choose to put my trust in Him. I know….easier said than done. I have not gone through what you have. But if I can’t be with one of my boys, in an event that they leave this world before myself, I will have to trust them with the One who gifted them to me and who created them out of a love that even I can’t fathom. He gave us the gift to love the way that we do. So his love for your Ronan is beyond any comprehension you could ever have. My prayer for you is that your heart will heal (but never forgetting your Ronan) and that He will show you without a shadow of a doubt that he is with your Ro.

    All my love,
    Syrina

  20. Diana Pratt

    Maya…I have been following your blog for a long time. I heard what Taylor did and went right on to watch the video. Then I cried for you and your family and Ronan. I absolutely adore Taylor, and I am so proud of her wonderful heart.

    Taylor, if you happen to read this, I just wanted to tell you what an amazing young woman you are. Thank you for your beautiful heart. And thank you for honoring Ronan and his family. You’re the best.

    Much love to you, Thompson family 💖

  21. Michelle

    Maya, I found your blog several years ago when my six year old daughter was going through chemotherapy and it really helped me get through the days when I thought no one understood how fucked up this was. We are all big Taylor fans, and hearing about how she sang “Ronan” lead me back to your blog this week. This morning the doctor called to let us know that my daughter needs to start chemotherapy again. Do you know how much it meant to her to know that Taylor Swift was singing about kids with cancer this week? My girl is dancing around singing “I stay out too late, got tumors in my brain” instead of crying about how unfair this is. I’m so thankful to Taylor, to you and your Ronan.

  22. Simone

    Awesome! Gorgeous family! Is that seriously baby Poppy? She has grown so much! I think about you and your family all the time. You are the bravest, strongest woman! When I am having ANY issues, I walk outdoors. Even when it is 100 degrees plus! Haven’t graduated to hiking in the heat like you, but, I live in Reno, so maybe that is next.
    God Bless you!
    Simone

  23. Light and Love

    All my love. Watched the video. Cried. Donated and sending prayers of light and love and better yet even, hopes for a cure. Soon. ❤

  24. Candace Shiflet

    I was at this concert where she sang Ronan in honor of your family and it was truly beautiful. Reading this makes it even sweeter and makes me so grateful I was there to experience this amazing moment. I didn’t cry during the song but tears did make their way to the surface as I listened to each word trying to imagine this beautiful little boy who was once full of life and love. I am SO sorry for the loss of Ronan. I cannot imagine or relate to such a life altering event. I love that you felt him so strong during the performance. Your writing is so pure and beautiful and I am so glad I visited your blog today. Your family will be in my prayers and you are officially a hero in my eyes. SO strong and so humble. Thank you for sharing your story!!

  25. Constance

    What a magical night and what a team is right!! Not only Ronan and Taylor, but you as well, Maya!!! You are an incredible inspiration!!! You are accomplishing so much and with the support of Taylor and so many others, there is no stopping you!!

  26. kimbopro64

    What a beautiful beautiful blog entry about a magical night. Taylor and Ronan, what a great team!!

    Love from Kim and Team Hannah

  27. kimbopro64

    What a beautiful blog entry about such a magical night! Taylor and Ronan, such a great team!
    love from NY
    Kim and Team Hannah

  28. Jenny

    I’ve always admired Taylor Swift since the beginning, not specifically for her voice nor her looks, but there was just something about her that seems to make her different. I really never paid attention on all the negatives on social media about her & still believe that this girl will be a very special force in making the world a little better. While watching her during “Ronan” I honestly cried from the start bec of her heartfelt speech, talking about maya, the mother who lost this beautiful blue eyed boy from cancer. The story behind the song was so powerful that it felt like this angel Ronan is actually present at the moment. After awhile, a thought just came to me that maybe, Ronan is now a devine force looking after his family specially his mom, as well as Taylor. I believe in God & what he can do! Love & prayers to you Maya & your family..

  29. alex3morrow

    Beautifully written and felt throughout my heart and soul. This happened on the same day as my dream and I am glad you could feel him around you. Alex calls it “power”  in my dreams and I believe you will feel him again just as I feel Alex. XO Mary From: ROCKSTAR RONAN To: cb_morrow@yahoo.com Sent: Thursday, August 20, 2015 7:44 AM Subject: [New post] Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine Taylor’s special guest would be you. #yiv7369732514 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv7369732514 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv7369732514 a.yiv7369732514primaryactionlink:link, #yiv7369732514 a.yiv7369732514primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv7369732514 a.yiv7369732514primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv7369732514 a.yiv7369732514primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv7369732514 WordPress.com | rockstarronan posted: “Ronan. I haven’t slept much in the past few days, but not because of the usual insomnia that I have struggled with since you died. I haven’t slept much due to the most unexpected surprise from a girl named Taylor. I know you know which Taylor I’m talk” | |

  30. asingleheartbeat

    Okay, this is a surreal moment for me right now because I never thought that I, a fourteen-year-old, would ever talk to you, THE Maya Thompson, ever. (Warning, there’s probably going to be a lot of “okay” in here, so bear with me). Okay, so I first encountered the beautiful Ronan not too long after Taylor’s performance at Stand Up 2 Cancer. I was at one of my figure skating competitions, hanging out and listening to music with my friend. She said, “Hey, you have to hear this song. It’s about a little boy who died of cancer. All the proceeds from the song go to his foundation.” I listened to it and thought, “I have to buy this song.” So as soon as I had wifi(since I was a youngun who didn’t have a cellphone), I downloaded the song and began learning about Ronan. And I have never fallen in love with anyone so quickly. His blue eyes captivated me and his beautiful blonde hair made my heart melt. I loved hearing about how excited he was to get his head shaved for an “army guy haircut”. That was so adorable. My favorite picture of him I’ve ever seen is when he had all of those stick-on jewels all over his face and that big grin on his face. He always seemed to be smiling. Anyway, as I did more investigating, I found the gear store and the sweatshirt with “Team Ronan” on the back and a set of rubber bracelets was my birthday gift that year. I wanted a bracelet from a woman on Etsy you mentioned once with Ro’s name on it, but unfortunately it never came when I ordered it. I remember however, that my mom kept asking me if I really wanted Ronan’s name on the bracelet and I was like, “Yes, Mom, of course I want his name on it, what’s the point of getting it if it doesn’t have his name on it?” However, I was perfectly content and overjoyed with my rubber bracelets and sweatshirt, because they remind me of Ronan, and it doesn’t matter if it’s a scrap of cloth with his name on it, as long as it reminds me of him, I’ll love it. And I haven’t taken off my rubber bracelet in 1-2 years. I get mad when people tell me to take it off. It’s a source of comfort to me. Whenever I’m scared or nervous, I just run my fingers over the lettering and remember how brave Ro was, which reminds that I should be brave, because if a three-year-old can battle cancer, surely I can speak in front of a crowd or whatever. I am not only touched by Ronan but fiercely defensive of him. If my best friend said one word that discredited Ro for the beautiful boy he was, I’d most likely stop being friends with them. A teacher I had in 7th grade slammed Taylor over not caring or just being in it for the money and I was quick to inform him of what Taylor did for Ronan, because how could Taylor not care or just be in it for the money if she wrote that song for Ronan and donated all the proceeds to Ronan? And my teacher replied by saying that the money probably barely went to Ronan. I was disgusted because I felt that not only had Taylor been insulted, but so had Ronan, and I have never forgiven that teacher for what he said. Anyway, um, I’ve been re-reading your blog lately and it’s like reading a book when you already know the ending and it just breaks my heart even more on top of the injustice I’m reading about how an innocent little boy has to suffer. This post especially made me cry because I saw Taylor talking about it and singing the song and hearing your experience at the concert it was all so overwhelming. I don’t think there are many times that I can say I’ve cried more than I’ve cried reading this and just your blog in general. You’ve been such a source of strength for me over the past couple of years, just seeing how brave you were throughout the ordeal and how loving you are and how great of a mother you are. It inspires me to be brave in the face of my grandmother’s breast cancer and illness, to be more loving towards people, and to be a great mother like you towards my future kids. And that reminds me, the future. I actually have to tell you a few things. 1) When I have a son–and I will not stop until I have a son–his name will be Ronan Sean 2)I plan on marrying a blonde-haired, blue-eyed man or at least a blue-eyed man, because I want my kids to have beautiful blue eyes like Ronan 3) When I am rich and famous, I am planning on donating at least 1 million dollars to Ro’s foundation. That’s the minimum, as well as the fact that I will be an activist on the topic of childhood cancer. And another thing I forgot to mention, this year was my first Ronan’s Day of Love which was probably one of the best days of my life so far. I’ve always felt so guilty for forgetting in the past but this year I had about 10 reminders making sure I didn’t forget. I look forward to more blog posts and hearing more about your beautiful family. For your insomnia, I don’t know if this will help but reading a book always makes me feel tired, so maybe you could try it if you haven’t already. It’d be hard for me to sleep, too, if I went though what you went through. I hope you, your family and your friends are well. Continue to be strong, like I know you are, and if it ever seems like too much, just remember to take it one minute at a time. Breathe. We all love you and support you.

    Much love,

    Sara

    P.S. Sorry for any typos, I’m typing this in the dark with only my iPad light to guide me because I’m supposed to be asleep but I’m a rebellious teenager, MWAHAHAHAHA.

    1. Diana Pratt

      You are a beautiful young lady!!! Your parents must be so proud. You will accomplish all of your dreams; I just know it. I can’t get over how eloquent your words are. Bless your sweet heart 😇

  31. laden333

    you are the strongest person i have ever seen and you never let the life to take Ronan away from you , you never let the pain got you lost.You are legendary inspration to world and i believe everyone exist for a reason he was too young but he did it.He said he wants to be an army guy when he grow up but he already was.I still cant accept the reality that such a beautiful and angel heart boy left the world and he carried the light with him.But just because we dont have a light doesnt mean we are in dark cause you created other hopes and lights for other ones.Ronan couldnt be more thankful for you.He couldnt ask anything better.Reading your blog is like your fav book which you want to save it all in your mind and you draw lines to every word with permanent marker and just want to hug pages.I want to make it clear that you will never ever be alone in that fight and no 9th of may can make ronan away from us.I support you with whatever you do.I hope cancer gets cancer and dies.I wish all courage and happiness and health to you and your family.I love you so much Ro Rest in peace♡ i love you all to the moon and back 🌒 #rockstarronan

  32. Jennifer Moore

    I think we would all give you anything that we have to see you smile. I am not surprised that Taylor would do this at all because if she feels what I feel when look at Ronan’s beautiful little face then I understand why she did this perfectly. She is a kind soul. We are all still grieving with you and we probably always will be.

  33. michelle h.

    Always so good to hear from you Maya…what an incredible, amazing night for you and your family. Such a blessing to have felt Ronan around you, so strongly, yet knowing that he is always with you in the same way each and everyday. ❥ ❥ ❥

  34. Sarah

    I am so glad that you were given that beautiful moment after everything… To really feel that warmth must’ve been indescribable… Almost like he came down to give you the one more hug we all wish we could give… Taylor is a special woman… And I pray the Lord protects her so that she can continue to be a loving example to all… I pray that you are able to call upon the comfort and memories of that moment when the days are tougher than others. 💕

  35. Pingback: A grieving Phoenix mom received the tribute of a lifetime from Taylor Swift. | Bullshit Guru

  36. Natalie

    (((Maya))) thank you for being so honest and sharing yours and Ronan’s relationship. My husband and I had a very sick child. At 2 1/2 our daughter started loosing weight and vomiting everyday. She dropped off of the growth charts. After two months we were told brain tumour, cancer, cystic fibrosis among other scary diseases, it turned out to be celiac disease. For a few weeks we thought and prepared for the worst however we got extremely lucky. I just heard about your blog with Taylor swifts recent concert and the playing of “Ronan”. I must have gone through 10 boxes of Kleenex reading your blog. Having had a young child that was very sick I had a TINY understanding of what you experienced. When I played Ronan for my husband he sobbed liked a baby. I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and I wanted to let you know that Ronan’s life story is impacting people everyday.

  37. Dana

    I have a 6 year old son currently battling leukemia. I had heard of your brave little man and this beautiful song, but couldn’t listen to it until today. Just, wow! I’ve always been a Taylor Swift fan, but this incredible story makes me a huge fan. What a beautiful person. As are you, for continuing this important battle. Thanks for sharing your story. You’re an inspiration to so many. And thanks for the good cry…I needed it.

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