Ava Ann Holder



Ava Ann Holder
7/20/2007 ~ 5/28/2012

Ronan. I am mad. Angry. Sad. This is an epidemic. This has to change. I am not going to sit here and scream the hundreds of swear words that I want to scream. I will leave that for another post because I will be respectful of Ava and her family. I’m sorry to them, Ava, and you.

I am done walking Ronan. There is no time to walk with this disease. I am going to take everything that is coming my way and run like I’ve never run before. Nobody is going to stop me.

I love you. Take care of Ava, please. I miss you. I hope you are safe. I promise to make you proud.


13 thoughts on “Ava Ann Holder”

  1. Gosh, thats so sad, i’m sorry for her family, she was adorable, praying for her mom and dad. xoxo

  2. Wishing there was one little thing to do to take at least an ounce of the pain away…but knowing there is absolutely nothing at all….I’m so, so sorry.

  3. This is just so fucking unfair! I will NEVER EVER be able to wrap my head around any of this! I am so so sorry Ronan and Ava. We ALL should of been able to protect you. We are behind you Maya, every single day. RoLove to Ava and her beautiful family. Keep the $5 dollar Fridays going! I love doing it and I love spreading the word. I feel like people can donate that amount and most importantly its spreading AWARENESS!!!!!!
    RoLove ALWAYS RoLove!!!!!

  4. I came across your story on FB, for the the past several nights I have been reading your old posts. Your story has rocked me to my core and I want to do something to help. I have 3 beautiful and healthy children that I have held a little tighter because of sweet Ronan. I can’t even begin to imagine the tremendous pain of losing a child. Please tell me what i can do to help in your fight against nueroblastoma.

    Thanks, Jodie

  5. I prayed for Ava all weekend. I went to her caringbridge and read her story. The story that so many other kids are needlessly going through. My heart is breaking today for all the lost children.

  6. When Ava’s Caringbridge came through on my email this morning, I was sick, honestly I had to go sit down before I could open it, and then it took time, I knew from my core it was not going to be good. I am pretty sure I said FUCK a thousand times, and then I cried. For Ava, for Ronan, for Ben, for Esther, for Nate, for Ari, for all the other names (way too many at that) I don’t know. I am so sorry…so so so so so so sorry. Sending love and prayers to sweet Ava’s family–and all the other families slaughtered by neuroblastoma. Of course sending that same love to you, Maya and Ronan. Always for Ronan. He is proud of you and he knows you will not stop.

  7. I never have said anything mean or fowl
    when I write on here, but I feel like it tonight.
    All these babies dying is just soooo wrong
    and fucked up. I’ve poured my heart out to
    doctors asking them why, and no one follows
    through on it. I’m ready to fuck some shit up
    in the Neuroblastoma world. Enough is ENOUGH!!!!!

    On a happier note, I was swimming in the ocean last weekend and the little seal that would pop his head out of the water to say hi is back. I got chills when I saw him again. In
    the 40 yrs I’ve been there, last year and this year was the first time it has ever happened.
    Love you mama!!!!

  8. I am so sorry for the loss of Ava, what a beautiful little girl, WHY THIS ISN’T BEING HANDLED BY OUR GOV’T IS SO UNNACCEPTABLE, DAMN IT!! I have a little one named Ava also and it could be me going through this tomorrow, we never know who is next and why should anyone be exempt? It is a damned epidemic that WE NEED TO GET ATTENTION TO, Every last one of us is accountable to our kids and these precious babies being stolen from their families. Just so, so so sad. So many tears tonight for Ava and her family. I decided to be proactive today, I called my daughter’s pediatrician today and requested the urine test. I owe my children this much. We all do. I will forever keep Ava, Ronan, R.J., Brennan, Adam, Aidan, Daniela and so many (too many) more in my thoughts and prayers every single day I have left on this Earth. I will NEVER sleep another peaceful night knowing how many families are being ripped apart by this monster. Damn our government!! How dare they continue to say rare? Rare my ass. I think of you every day mama maya. Keep writing, keep on channeling on your blog, I have your back, as do so many others ❤

  9. That second paragraph….Never stop running. Ever. We will find a cure. And Ro, Ava, Adam, Aidan, Brennan, R.J, Daniela and all the other angels will be watching down from heaven give us that little extra push and helping the whole way

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