Beautiful weekend, beautiful friends

What a great, long weekend. We spent it pretty low key. We really just hung out at home, watching movies, playing outside, and getting ready for the upcoming week. On Saturday, Charisma, and her family, who had been in Tucson for Thanksgiving, drove up for the day to see us. We spent the day watching the boys play, Charisma and I went and got pedicures while the Woody held down the fort, and then we went to Chelsea’s Kitchen for dinner with some of the girls. I can’t tell you how nice it was to spend some time with my friend. I miss her so much and will never let so much time pass again before seeing her again. The boys really get along with her son. He is such a sweet soul like his mama. Ronan was very playful with her and had no problem warming up. I was surprised considering the way he usually is around people. I am happy CC got to see how “healthy” he looks. He was running around, happy as a clam the entire day and night. It was a great day and night. I was sad to see her go… wish I could keep her with me here forever;) Ronan’s favorite soon to be doctor, Katie, also came by the house for a visit. At the beginning of all of this, when everyone was poking and prodding at Ronan, because they didn’t know what was wrong yet…. Dr. Katie is the only one Ronan would let come near him. She sat in on the surgery when they removed the tumor out of the left orbit of his eye. She is family to us now and it was so good to see her. Ronan is still talking about it this morning. He keeps telling me he loves Dr. Katie and wants to know why he can’t see her at the hospital. So cute and sweet. Thanks Katie for the visit. It meant so much to us to be able to see you. Your being there for us during the hardest time in our life is something we will always be grateful for. You were the only one who put my mind at ease.

Tomorrow, we go into the clinic and we will have Ronan’s platelets checked. We need them to be above 75,000 in order to start his chemo week. Praying that they are. I’m stressing that this is now going to throw off our whole New York plan. We will know more tomorrow depending on if we get to start this round or not. It’s not good to let more than 6 weeks pass in between chemo treatments. I just cannot imagine that he will not be good to go….. he looks and is acting like he is feeling great. He’s been so loving to me lately. I know a lot of it has to do with being home and with Liam, Quinn, and Woody. Today, I sat on the couch with Quinn and Ronan and watched all of the new version of “Alice in Wonderland.” Quinn and Ronan loved it. I couldn’t believe Ro sat through the entire movie. About every 20 minutes he would wrap his arms around me, smile up at me and give me the biggest kiss. It was so sweet. Liam and Woody spent the day watching football and playing some G.I. Joe PS3 game.

Everyone is tired tonight and we all need a good nights sleep to get ready for the week ahead. Last night, I made the mistake of coming home from my evening out and I didn’t take my medication that helps me sleep. I was trying to prove to myself that I was so tired, that I didn’t need it. Big mistake. It was the worst night of sleep. I tossed and turned all night long and had the most horrific dreams. I won’t be making that mistake again. It’s not worth it at this point in my life.

Good morning! I fell asleep soon after writing that last night. Ronan was way too cuddly for me to stay awake. A good night sleep makes such a difference. Boys are off to school and Ro playing Star Wars in his room. I’m ready to check in to the hospital. Fingers crossed. I’ve had our bags packed and in the car for a week now. I have Ronan all prepped and he knows that we have to go in today. He seems fine with it. I’ve come to learn that if I prepare him for things, he adjusts better to the situation. I hope you all have a beautiful Monday. I will keep you posted on if we are admitted today or not. Love to you all!!

xoxo

Clinic Day

Ronan and I went off to the clinic this morning to do his usual Monday checks of his blood and platelet levels. Poor little guy is having bad tummy aches from the chemo last week. A lot of diarrhea and him saying his tummy hurts. I talked to “A” about this and she said it is a normal side effect from the chemo and to just watch him. She expects it to last most of the week. If it goes into next week, then we will have to do something about it. As for now, we just have to make sure he is staying hydrated. His counts are dropping, but still look o.k. We will expect them to continue to bottom out until the end of the week, then hopefully they will start to come back up. After the clinic, we went upstairs to meet with Dr. Jan who is one of the psychiatrists at the hospital. We only got to meet with her for about 10 minutes due to Ronan’s tummy hurting and him not wanting to be there. She is trying to help me work on some boundaries with Ronan.

We are still waiting to hear the finalized dates for New York. We should know in the next couple of days. It is going to be here before we know it. I am trying to mentally prepare for everything. As long as I have all my ducks in a row here, I should be fine.

Today, I spoke with Lin Sue Cooney from Channel 12 news. She has been playing phone tag with Woody since last week. They want to do a story on Ronan and our family and asked if they could come to our house to shoot tomorrow early evening. It was very last minute, but I am not going to turn down that opportunity. I will let you all know when it is going to air when I find out. I am assuming they will have to edit, etc…. Either way, I am honored. Channel 12 is the only local news channel I watch. Watch out world, this is just the beginning! Little Ronan is going to bring so much light and hope to this disease…. he will be the poster child for it. We have to find a cure. Everyday I hear of more and more babies not surviving. It is gut wrenching to read about and rips me to pieces. I try to stay away from stories like that, but it’s like a bad car accident…. sometimes you just have to look. As much as I try not to, it is a horrific reality check for me and keeps me focused on what we need to do to keep Ronan kicking cancer’s ass.

Tonight we played a lot of baseball outside. Ro has been running around like mad. There is no stopping my little guy. He runs circles around his 7-year-old brothers. I’ve never in my life seen a child like him before. He is so strong willed and determined. I dream about the day that he can just be carefree and happy and not have to live the life of going back and fourth to and from the hospital.

My sweet friend, Jules, brought over dinner tonight and it is always a treat to see her. We tried to catch up for a bit but it was busy around here with homework being done and Ronan wanting attention. We sat and ate dinner as a family, watched a little football, and Ronan fell asleep around 8:30. He didn’t nap today so he was tired tonight. After he fell asleep, I ran to the grocery store so I actually have food in my house. Ronan has been quite upset that there has been a lack of string cheese around here. We are all stocked up for a while. It’s amazing how much food 3 little guys go through. I seriously need to buy stock in Gatorade.

My friend, Gay, is coming over tomorrow to help me get ready for our channel 12 news story. She is going to help me put away all of our Halloween decorations and things like that. That women is a force to be reckoned with. I am SO lucky to have her as a friend. I hope someday after all of this is over to take a big trip with my very special girls to celebrate them and all they have done for me. A girls trip will definitely be in order and way overdue. We have so many plans for when we are done and over with this bullshit. So much of it is just going to consist of being together as much as possible and enjoying every little second of being healthy and free. Our lives will forever be changed, but we are going to change them for the better. This won’t get the best of our family<3 Nobody can take that away from us.

Last Friday night I went down to my beautiful friend and neighbor, Niki’s for a few cocktails and girl time. Tricia and Jen joined us too and I cannot tell you how good it felt to just be with them. We sat, talked, laughed, cried, and laughed some more. I swear this is the first time I have really laughed in months.  And I mean, laughed so hard that you can’t breathe and your stomach aches and hurts. It felt so good to feel something other than pain. I know I am surrounded by amazing friends when they can get me to feel that way and to just let everything go, even if it is just for a few hours. To my Niki, Tricia,and Jen…. thank you for being the beautiful souls that you are and the sisters I was meant to have. You have no idea how much that night meant to me. The only thing missing was our Lindsey and Marisa. <3 <3 I thought about them the whole night though and it felt like they were there in spirit. I love you all.

To all of you keeping up with Ronan and this blog, I think about you everyday and I am so thankful that you are touched by his story. It is going to be a long journey but it is going to be worth the ride. Sweet dreams, friends. Be thankful for what you have, who you are, and all the blessings you have in your life. You never know when something could take it all away<3<3 I pray that none of you ever have to experience what we are going through… we will walk this walk for you and hope you take the lessons along the way.