That beautiful day your sister was born


Ronan. I know I’m supposed to sleep when your Poppy sister sleeps, but even early in these morning hours, I just can’t seem to do so. It doesn’t matter the lack of sleep I’m getting due to breast-feeding her, holding her, or obsessively watching her sleep because I’m scared she’s just going to up and stop breathing. I think at this point I’m just running off adrenalin and that’s o.k. Sleep stopped being my friend a long time ago.

So, do you want to hear the story about the day your sister was born? I know you already know it, but I’ll recap it for those who don’t. The last few weeks of my pregnancy I was miserable. Miserable in a way that I found myself begging day after day for your sister to finally get here. You know I’m not a good pregnant person at all and those last few weeks, I was beyond done both mentally and physically. Dr. Schwartz was well aware of this too which is why I got her to agree to strip my membranes to try to jump start my labor the same way she did with me for you. I went into her office on a Tuesday and she did this for me to try to get things rolling. It didn’t work. I went back to her on Thursday and once again she stripped away and I left her office hoping that your baby sister would make her entrance into the world soon; just like the way you did after I had this done. I ended up going to the hospital due to having some bleeding and pretty bad contractions had started up as well. I thought it was going to be go time, but as the night went on, the contractions stopped. I had to stay the night at the hospital so they could monitor me, but I was released the very next day. As you can imagine, I was out of my mind upset. I may be a patient person about most things in life, but the end of a pregnancy is not one of them. I also had myself convinced that Poppy was for sure going to be born dead or was never going to come out at all because clearly I had made her up in my deranged head. Once home I pretty much stayed in bed the entire weekend, not wanting to talk to or see anyone. If there was ever a time that I was “depressed,” in my life, you could say the last few week of pregnancy were it for me.

On Sunday night around 10 p.m. just as your daddy came to bed to go to sleep, I was huffing and puffing about how miserable I was and how I hated the world so I got up to do my late night laundry that I have become accustomed to. Just as I was cursing the pregnancy gods from above, I noticed a little drip, drip, drip running down my legs. I walked down the hallway and the puddle continued to slowly trickle out of me. I went in to our bedroom and said to your daddy, “I think my water just broke.” He jumped out of bed all panicked and told me to grab my stuff so we could rush to the hospital. I told him, “No way. I have to shower first. This could take forever and I’m not bringing Poppy into this world until I shower and shave my legs.” I calmly got showered, dressed, and off to the hospital we went. We were admitted right away and Dr. Schwartz was called. She ordered the hospital to start pitocin for me to get things to progress and little faster as I was still only about 4 cm dilated. By this time it was about midnight and I geared up for the night while your daddy quietly slept away on the couch. My contractions started to get pretty bad and the epidural could not have come soon enough. I could not get a hold of Dr. JoRo who was back up in Sedona as she had been with me in the hospital all of Thursday night but went home after I was released. My doula, your daddy, was just not cutting it as I screamed at him about the pain/having to feed myself ice chips because he was so tired that he could not stay up. Luckily, I had a really great nurse who helped me through everything while your daddy got his beauty sleep to prepare for the big day. Apparently labor is hard work when you are a dude 😉 I was really proud of the self control I contained as it took everything I had not to throw ice chips at your Daddy’s head while he slept away and I sat there cursing away from the pain of the contractions that were getting stronger and closer together.

It was around 5:15 a.m. that I started to push your sister out. I had your blanket on my chest and did my best to remain calm as I said your name over and over in my head. 3 pushes was all it took and your baby sister was plopped in my arms immediately. I was overcome with so many emotions that is was almost as if I couldn’t feel a thing. I just remember staring at her and whispering, “Thank you, Ronan,” in her little ear. She looked up at me with her big wide eyes that I can tell are already full of so much wisdom. Your sister was born at 5:35 a.m., 6 lbs 11 oz, tons of dark hair and oh so perfect in every way. She had one little cry as she entered this world but that is pretty much the only peep she has made. I’ve never seen a more calm or peaceful baby in my life. I spent the next few hours staring at her and in disbelief of how much she looks like you. Your daddy and I cannot get over it. I think I went 48 hours without any sleep at all. My adrenaline was through the roof all I could seem to do was stare at your little sister as I slowly let myself fall in love with her. I needed some time to process everything and needed some time to bond with this new baby girl as you know how bittersweet this is for all of us.

Dr. JoRo arrived at the hospital around 10 a.m. and stayed for much of the day. She left once your brothers arrived to let us have some private time together as a family. It hurt to see your brothers walk through that door without you but it was also such a beautiful moment, too. They were so excited and proud to meet their new baby sister. I think they were also both relieved to see that she was finally here, safe and sound. We kept visitors to a minimum just the way I said we would. I needed everything to be calm and quiet not only for me, but for Poppy as well. As the day went on, I sat and watched out our window as an unexpected rain storm took over the entire valley. It was one that was not predicted but rather it came out of nowhere. I know you are always with me, Ro but this storm on the day your Poppy sister was born just proves it to me even more. It was such an amazing thing to witness like it was our own little secret. You are such a little spicy monkey boy and I spent much of the day smiling as I watched the rain pour down out of nowhere.

Our Mr. Sparkly Eyes came by both days that I was at the hospital. The first day he just popped in to take a peek at his new goddaughter and the second day he came for a little longer to sit with me and check in with me to see how I was doing/handling all of this. He told me how I was such a natural at being a mom. I smiled and told him I knew, that this was the easy part for me. I told him how proud you would be to have him as the godfather of your baby sister and how I knew that you would have picked him and only him for this as he is the only one special enough to do so. He will be the best at watching over your baby sister for me just like the way he helped to watch over you whenever he could do so. I know you would be so happy about this. I am so honored to have him play this role in your sister’s life. It makes all of this that much more special.

We were released from the hospital 24 hours later and it took us this long to decide on your sister’s name. We had originally planned on naming her Ireland Ronan, which I am still so in love with but for some reason, it just didn’t feel right anymore. Your daddy and I went back and fourth about her name, forever. I just could not part with Poppy. I didn’t want it to be a nickname or an afterthought. It had come to mean too much to me to just let it go. Your daddy threw in a few curveballs and suggested some names like Sophia and Alexandria, both of which I love, but this baby has been Poppy since she was 5 weeks in the womb. Nothing else felt right. Your daddy and I sealed the deal with Poppy Ronan with a kiss on the lips and a smile in our hearts. I know her name would be Ronan approved. I think you would have loved it so very much. It makes me smile and it makes me happy. Poppy Ronan Thompson sounds like the sweetest thing ever and it just seems to fit her little face.

We have been home now and are all doing just fine. I didn’t spiral into that postpartum depression like everybody was freaking out about and worrying that I would. I have been a little quiet and have not seen too many people but that is not due to depression. It’s just due to the four of us trying to enjoy our quiet time with your sister and soak this all in. I’ve been staying at home with her and just trying to let myself bond with her the way that I need to. I wondered how this was all going to feel… having a new little life around to take care of. I wondered if that hole in my heart would disappear due to your Poppy sister being born. I have come to find out this is not the case and will never be the case. I feel like my heart has grown and gotten bigger, but the hole there will always remain. Nobody can fill it as it’s not meant to be filled. It is there to remind me every single day of how much I love you, how much I will always love you, and how much this will forever hurt as your absence in this world is the most painful thing that I have ever felt. This hole in my heart will remain there for the rest of my life. The birth of your sister has proven this. If she can’t fix this, it was not meant to be fixed no matter how much love I feel in this life without you here. I will live with this hole in my heart for the rest of my life and I can be o.k. with this. I am learning to be o.k. living like this. It makes me stronger and makes me work harder at everything I do. I will let my pain do great things in this life to make you proud.

Alright my little man. I am going to go. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful sister. Thank you for getting her here safe and sound. I promise to be the best mama in the world to her and teach her all about you. I can’t wait to learn from her the things I know you have already taught her. You are the best big brother in the world. We all love and miss you so much. I’m so sorry that you are not here with us. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe. Sweet dreams, baby doll.


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90 thoughts on “That beautiful day your sister was born”

  1. Tears are pouring down my cheeks…She is just so, so, so beautiful. I’m glad you’re taking the time to just be with her. I can’t wait to meet her some day xo

  2. RoMama,

    Poppy is beautiful & perfect.
    I saw that storm and thought of you & Rockstar Ronan.
    Enjoy every minute with your princess!
    Rolove always xo
    Ropoplove xo

  3. I cannot believe how much she looks like Ronan! Wow! She is a very lucky baby girl to be in such a loving family and with Ronan guiding her path. And I’m sure he will teach her how to throw in just the perfect amount of spiciness too. Congrats to you all!

  4. Your words are so touching Maya, I have tears pouring down my face. That last paragraph got me big time. I so wish Ronan was here to meet his perfect Poppy sister. He would have loved her so so much. I also love her name so much, it’s so sweet and so fitting. She has always been your little Poppy babygirl. Thank you for sharing the details surrounding her birth, it was very exciting to read. Sending you all so much love and happiness xoxo

  5. Oh my gosh Maya, she is so beautiful. I’m so happy she’s here and she’s safe. Well done Mama! Ronan would be so proud! Woody you make me laugh. Both of you make gorgeous children!
    I hope it continues to go amazing.
    Ps, thank you Ro for all this rain here in Australia and thank you for keeping your brothers and sister safe.

    Pss, I’m gonna go bawl my eyes out now. So sweet. Thanks Maya and Woody for sharing everything with us! 💜

  6. I tried so hard not to cry, but it didn’t happen! Tears of both joy, and sadness filled my eyes… Ronan, I’m sure is so proud of you! Poppy, I’m sure is so excited to meet this person called “Mommy” Ro has told her all about! ♥ I can’t wait too watch her grow, and see Ro in her! Congrats Mama Maya!

  7. I am so grateful for your entire blog, your honesty, the richness of love that is so hard to find. I love Ronan. I love that child. I love you. I wish I could honor you for your bravery, your fire, your depth, your desperation, your ferocious love, and your four miracles…

  8. She is perfection. Love brought her here and love will be what carries her through her beautiful life, The Thompson family has a most special victory. Welcome, Poppy girl. We are so glad to finally meet you. Thanks be to Ro…….

  9. Your words are SO touching!!!! I think of Ronan almost everyday❤Congrats on your sweet Poppy and there’s no doubt in my mind,Ronan sent her as an extra special, “extra spicey” gift!!!!! Much love and well wishes to your sweet family!!!!

  10. Maya,
    You are such an amazingly strong woman. Ronan’s love for you transcends time and space. He gave you a perfect little girl. And I know that the hole in your heart is still there but, I am glad that you and your family were able to have the joy of Poppy. There is a special bond with a mother and daughter. Enjoy your time mama, everything else will be there. Keep safe xoxo

  11. Congratulations, Mama Maya!
    She is beatifull and I’m pretty sure that she will makes all of you really happy! 🙂

  12. Maya, comgratulations!! Poppy is a picture of perfection!! She is so lucky to have such a beautiful, loving family. There will be hours of happiness and love watching her grow. I so amazed how much she does looks like Ronan. Wishing you peace, love and joy. Xoxo

  13. She is the most beautiful baby ever. Even though Ronan isn’t physically here, he and Poppy will have the most amazing brother-sister bond in the world. Thank you, Ro, for that amazing gift to our family<3

  14. So very touched by your words, Maya. The joy and sadness of the day Lil Miss Poppy was born. Thank you for sharing this with us. You Rock just like Ronan! Congrats to your beautiful family.

  15. Welcome to the world, Poppy Ronan! I have no doubt after reading this that Ro was with you during the birth, after the birth, and will be with you and his little sister every minute of every day thereafter. He gave you an magnificent baby girl, who looks so much like him. May she bring you all of the joy and happiness and spicy-ness that you so deserve!!

  16. Bella…Poppy, baby girl, precious gift. The world has fallen In love with her, cheered for her, embraced her. The miracle of life, there are no words to describe how beautiful and blessed she is to have you and your beautiful family. Enjoy every precious moment! Cheers!

  17. Maya…so I started cracking up at the beginning of your post (why do men always make it about them while we deliver babies:) ) and then I ended crying. Ronan should be here holding his baby sister, it’s just not fair. I’m so sorry Maya, I really am. Poppy on the other hand is absolutely perfect! Beautiful just like her mama:) Love you guys…bond with that little baby:)

  18. I am crying right now because of a dozen of feelings.You are an amaizing mother.You will always be an extraordinary woman.Thank You for teaching me so much about life!Much love for all your family bur right now especially more for Poppy Ronan Thompson,who will be the bravest,smartest,sweetest girl out there.I love you!

  19. Wow… there are no words to explain this. Poppy is beautiful, you are so lucky! Ronan would LOVE her so much! I am so sorry that little Ro is not with you. He sent loads of rain to Australia, too! I was thinking of him, as I watched the rain drops fill our fish pond. Thank you for the update, Poppy is perfect! Congratulations on your incredible baby girl!

    Ciara 💋😘❤☺🌟✨🎀💗

  20. Thank you for sharing all the things you share. Poppy is going to be a gorgeous little heart breaker. I love the pictures of your men admiring her! Too cute for words.

  21. She is so beautiful and looks so much like Her her big brother, Ronan. I am very glad to see the twins with such big smiles. It makes my heart smile too.

  22. I’m so happy for your family! This little girl will be so loved and bring your family so much joy. I know you will cherish everyday with her and not take anything for granted.

  23. It’s funny how carrying a child for so many months then seeing them the name either fits or doesn’t. That was how my 3 kids were. Except I wanted indigo for my daughters first name… But I got it as a middle… But my Kodiak? It just fit and had to be it. He needed a strong fighting name. 🙂

  24. Congratulations Mama Maya to you and your family! I love that name so very much. I can’t wait for more of your posts and to watch her grow and turn your lives upside with Poppy/Ronan spiciness!

  25. Maya this is beautifully written. Heart aching and heart warming all at the same time.
    Congratulations on Poppy. Xoxo Nicole and Kate

  26. I think this is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read for so many reasons. Always thinking of your family especially Ronan. He has made me a much better person.

  27. She is beautiful maya… Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing the day/night with all of us. Big hugs to you and the rest of your clan. Can’t say “the boys” anymore… 🙂

  28. Awwwww…Thank you so much for sharing. Tears, smiles and giggles…you gave them all to me in this post. You have an amazing ability to transfer life into words and send it deep into the reader’s heart…I know the feeling of the new baby after a loss and when you described it; spot on. I am so incredibly happy that you have this wonderful breath of fresh air in the family. The pictures…love them. They are so precious. Poppy is such a lucky girl. She will be loved and protected from above and below by the most amazing family. Congratulations to all of you. : ) Thank you Ronan for doing what you do best! You are indeed Romazing….

  29. Maya,

    Your poppy is perfect, so happy for you. I have been reading your blog since Halloween 2010, and totally fell in love with Ronan. I am so sorry you lost Ronan. I worry about you, then I remember how strong you are. Not to mention, the beautiful amazing people that surround you.
    I knew right away, that you were going to make a difference for kids suffering with cancer. I am still amazed at how much you have accomplished in nearly two years. I know you would say Ronan is behind all of this, and I would totally agree.

    Thank you for sharing the photos of Poppy (love her name because it comes from the heart) my favorite photo is “Poppy Princess Leia” She is one hip little babe in my eyes (:



  30. AHHHMAZZZING!!!!! Your family has been very Blessed with the remarkable life of BABY GIRL POPPY. She is so prettty and I can see SPOILED in her future…
    RONAN- (lil man) you do good work… Continue to guide your mama, brothers, and daddy in a path that will remind them everyday to continue to LOVE HARD..LOVE STRONG.. AND LOVE ALWAYS…. You are so missed and loved by so many people around the world and we know your new lil sister will bless them all and be an inspiration to all of us as we watch her . You be safe with the angels Ronan, you are loved lil man..

  31. I loved your birth story and how you described your heart growing, but allowing for the fact that it will never fully be healed. I think that’s a very healthy concept to share and help others to veiw it that way. When you first posted Poppy’s picture the other day, the first thing I thought was, “she looks just like Ronan.” God bless. Lisa from Puyallup WA

  32. Congratulations on your little poppy princess (I’m so happy you’ re gonna call her Poppy officially) !!! I’m sure Ronan did his best from up there and she will be a rock star in every way, just like him!!! Hugs and kisses and lots of love to everyone 😉

  33. Maya, She’s BEAUTIFUL! She definitely looks like you & I can see Ronan in her. Thank you for taking time to write while being so busy as a new mommy again. I find that I look forward to reading your blog all the time, just like a book I love. Her name is so CUTE & I agree nothing but POPPY would fit for this little baby sister! Love & Hugs to all of you!

  34. Oh Maya, I’m crying, she is so beautiful. I’m so glad she is finally here! She will grow up knowing that she has three of the most amazing big brothers watching out for her all the time and two of the most amazing, loving parents I’ve ever seen there to take care of her. Welcome to the world sweet Poppy, I hope you will always know how lucky you are to have such an amazing family, and never, ever think otherwise! ❤

  35. You are TRUE inspiration to ME and THE WORLD! One of the most beautiful, touching, inspiring blogs I’ve read from you! I am truly happy for you and your family with new arrival of baby POPPY Ronan! I find myself crying every time I read your blog, but this one touched me really deep! Thank you for being AMAZING and sharing your story with me, us! I admire you for the STRENGHT you carry… But yet The Love that you posses is beyond anything explainable… You are a SPECIAL Person Maya, and with THE Love you have You will Make a difference!

  36. I am so happy for you all Maya. What a beautifully written story…you continue to amaze me. I adore her name. Welcome to the world Poppy and forever you will have the most beautiful angel with you throughout your whole life….

  37. There are theses quote from books that always remind me of you and I really wanted to share them with you because I think you will like them.

    “I still go to bed sad, and wake up sad, and it still hurts like hell, but there are moments during the day when it hurts less. Sometimes I can think of June and not want to burst into tears or put my fist through a wall. Sometimes I’m close to happy and it doesn’t even hurt. Much. I’ll never be the way I was before, but maybe that’s okay. Life goes on, I’m going on, even without her. Not every day hurts. Not every breath hurts. Maybe that’s all we can really ask for.”
    — Hannah Harrington, Saving June
    “And that’s just it, isn’t it? That’s how we manage to survive the loss. Because love, it never dies, it never goes away, it never fades, so long as you hang on to it.”
    — Gayle Forman, If I Stay
    “Adam is crying and somewhere inside of me I am crying, too, because I’m feeling things at last. I’m feeling not just the physical pains, but all that I have lost, and it is profound and catastrophic and will leave a crater in me that nothing will ever fill. But I’m also feeling all that I have in my life, which includes what I have lost, as well as the great unknown of what life might still bring me.”
    – Gayle Forman, If I Stay
    Because I know that I want to be here. Even with the pain. Even with the ugliness. I’ve seen the other side—marching side by side down city streets with people who all believe they can change the world and the view of the sunset from Fridgehenge and Tom Waits lyrics and doing the waltz and kisses so hot they melt into each other and best friends who hold your hand and stretching out underneath a sky draped with stars and everything else. There is so much beauty in just existing. In being alive. I don’t want to miss a second.”
    — Hannah Harrington, Saving June

  38. Amei o nome “Poppy Ronan”, parabéns ela é muito linda, se parece bastante com o Ronan 😉 Me emociono muito quando leio seus posts, nunca li algo tão emocionante quanto isso… Beijos fica com Deus 😀

  39. “..Throw ice chips @ your daddys head..” 🙂
    Congrats to you guys- I dont think Poppy knows how many fans she has! She’s so precious, and so perfect. Thanks Ro.

  40. Maya,
    I am over the moon happy for you!!! She is so perfect, so beautiful, it’s beyond words! The picture with her Princess Leia hat where she has her head turned to the side…she looks exactly like Ro ❤ So sweet! I know you can't get enough of her, hopefully you will get some sleep, although who could blame you one bit for watching her 24/7, she is a newborn, the most beautiful, amazing gift ever!! Congrats to all of you…oh and i love that pic of Woody and the twins checking her out…I can picture Ro right there among them with his hand on hers ❤

  41. Hi Maya,

    Poppy is beautiful! What a blessing… your boys, and man are just glowing with pride… and that rainstorm!!!!! Amazing Ronan!!!

    After the birth of my 3rd baby I was down at our west coast beach the next day with him – after all, our two older children needed an outing, didn’t they? and my adrenalin surge from having the baby meant I didn’t want to miss a moment of life. An hour later I was in tears just wanting to go home. My neighbour, who moved from China to Canada a decade ago, didn’t emerge from her house for a month – just rested , breastfed and snuggled her baby… apparently it is their understood process in her culture at home. Now when I look back on this (6 years later) I wonder what my rush was… a month is nothing in the span of a life. Snuggle Poppy, Cocoon, Be in the calm, still and quiet! Bond. Breathe. The world will be there when it is time for you to emerge! 🙂

    Also, A belly wrap is SUCH a great idea if you haven’t already done so … try Baboosh online. Another lesson from my lovely neighbour.

    Blessings to you Maya and your family!

    Valerie from Canada

  42. That was beautiful and well said! Nobody can or will ever replace Ronan, this is very true. Your love just grows for a new one, doesn’t replace!! Poppy really is a beautiful little girl!! I am so happy for y’all, I know she will bring y’all some joy that y’all so desperately need!! And the part about throwing ice chips at your husband, loved it!! Men are something, lol.

    Hugs and kisses always!! Summer from Louisiana

  43. Congratulations on your new princess! Poppy looks just like Ronan. You guys make beautiful children. You’re an amazing Mom and truly an inspiration to so many. Thank you!

  44. Thank-you for sharing. What a beauty! I also think Poppy looks just like Ronan. The photos are heartwarming! Newborn babies are just so precious. Poppy is a little miracle and has so much love coming her way with your family and friends. Mountains of Congratulations!!!

  45. So precious! I’ve been anxiously waiting for this post, thanks for sharing so much with us! Poppy is beautiful! Love yalls way, always 0x0xROBIN

  46. Congratulations on the arrival of beautiful Poppy. She is so lucky to have such a strong and fierce mother as a role model and of course Ronan to look over her. I wish you and your family nothing but the best. Thank you for changing the world – you are such an inspiration.

  47. What a beautiful blessing Miss Poppy is , I am so very happy for all of you. a happy healthy gift . May you all be blessed .. Thank you Ro for keeping your sister safe , thank you Ro for bringing Joy to your family , thank you Ro for all you are teaching the world, thank you Ro for a beautiful Mom who cares deeply , loves deeply and shares her world with the world. Thank you Ro ❤

  48. I just love that Poppy decided when she was ready to arrive. Noone forcing her–showing her spicy self from the start! Your description of your heart growing is sooo perfect. While I am sure it seems completey crazy…I have so much love for you and your family, Maya. Blessings to you all as you enjoy this precious bundle of life hand picked by your Ronan.

  49. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it & for letting us all in just in general. It’s a transformative experience.

  50. She is beautiful!! She really does look so much like RO!! Enjoy every second, they fly by so quickly!

  51. Welcome to the world, sweetest girl!
    Dear Maya, I hope that Poppy brings a lot of peace to yours and your family’s life, and that this beautiful new life you’ve brought into the world can bring some comfort to your broken heart.
    This is the first time I’m leaving a comment here, but I’ve been following your diary for a long time now. My heart breaks for your sweet boy, but I’m sure he’s watching over your family and now his little sister – I’m sure he is such a proud big brother! Poppy is so lucky to have such a beautiful and brave angel taking care of her.
    Know that I have you and your family in my thoughts. You are so strong and every day I wish that your pain is a little smaller than it was the day before.
    Sending all my love to you and your family,

  52. Poppy is beautiful! So glad that everyone is home. No one will ever take the place of Ronan (no matter how many more children you have). We had our boy/girl twins after our first son, Jake died – someone said to me “how wonderful you got your boy back!” So not the way it works . . .

    Sending you hugs an hope. FU Cancer!!

  53. You read about how little ones can see angels. So when she is giggles for no apparent reason, must be your spicey monkey entertaining Poppy:) She is gorgeous just like your 3 boys.

  54. Powerful, love, tears, joy, pain, smiles, amazement, wonderful, bittersweet, love love love. I don’t have the “writter” gift that you have. I was and continue to be so blown away by your posts that all I can do is write down words. Poppy is beautiful! You are such a wonderful mama. I wish wish Ronan was there with you, he belongs there. I hear promise in your voice, promise and hope – things I haven’t heard for a long time – it’s wonderful. Of course I hear pain too, so much pain – FU Cancer! Sending you thoughts of calm and freedom – freedom to feel the joy of Poppy and the freedom to feel okay that at the same time you are feeling the extreme grief of Ronan at the same time. Love to you and your family from Seattle.

  55. Reading this just took me back to the day I gave birth to my rainbow baby girl. I wish I had thought of naming her after her brother but his name is Joshua the only name would have been Joshlyn or just Joshie but instead I named her with the same initials as her brother JEP. She never met her brother here but I’m sure she crossed path with him somewhere because she knows him as well as I do. The hole in my heart is still there but I have this precious child to share that with and I don’t want the hole to ever be filled, that’s Joshie’s special place. Congratulation again on that beautiful Poppy of yours, I’m looking forward to seeing more pictures of her

  56. I stumbled upon your blog while grieving my own loss. Reading your words has helped me more than i can express. Ronan is probably telling everyone how amazing his Mom is, where ever he is. You are such an inspiration to others, and the thing that i love most about you is that you don’t care what other people think, or say, you say it like it is and you follow your heart, and thats a beautiful thing. I am so happy you named your little peanut Poppy Ronan, that is awesome. I wish your family lots of love & health. Congratulations.


  58. Congratulations, Maya! She is perfect in every way. Can’t wait to read about all the spicy things she does as she grows up. She has the best parents and the three best big brothers in the world. Love to you all.

  59. It’s so nice to hear some good news! She is SOOOOO Beautiful! I am so happy for you and your precious family. Thanks for sharing this special time with us. CONGRATULATIONS!

  60. Dearest Maya;what a beautiful post you just wrote again,what a beautiful moment to know that you give birth to the one and only Little Poppy,congratulations to you and your adorable loved ones,that is so beautiful to share these unique moments with your words and pictures.So simple but so powerful at the same time.Little Poppy is so beautiful,she looks like an angel.When i saw her first picture,i’ve heard a very few little drops of rain touching my window that stopped very quick ;when i saw Little Poppy looking at you wearing a RockstarRonan bracelet,i got tears in my eyes,i don’t know what to think of those little drops of rain that were very quick.Your Rolovies were worried for you and Little Poppy,then i searched for the moon as a sign but didnt see it for quite a long time;but a few days ago i saw the first part of the moon just like something new is starting.Seeing those pictures of you all is so beautiful.Little Poppy represents Hope,hope for something,something for you,Woody,Ronan and your beautiful twins.Future will tell us what that something will mean.Little Poppy is giving Hope,when you look at a Poppy flower,its fragile but her red colour is so strong,powerful,that fower is like standing in the middle of nowhere,no matter what happens,a poppy flower is just showing love with her red colour.I cant wait for you and Little Poppy to infierno hinking someday when she’s able to,i can’t wait for both of you to try to search for Ronan’s signs somewhere.When i think of you dearest Maya,i think of you and Ronan,i think to not one person but two.Ronan is and always be in the depth of your heart which is not very far from you.Thats why iam feeling his love right now.Sending love and hopes for you and your beautiful family.

  61. Hi….
    I just found out about Ronan and his beautiful life. I am fourteen years old and the majority of the women in my family gets breast cancer. Sometimes I get really scared that I’ll go in to the doctor for a check-up and come out knowing that I have breast cancer. However Ronan’s story has inspired me not to live in fear of cancer. I first found out about Ronan through Taylor Swifts song, and I thought it was the most beatiful things I had ever heard. Once I figured out that the song was actually based on a beautiful little boys life I Googled Ronan and found this blog. I have been reading it all day. Ronan’s story has inspred me to keep moving so I thank you for blogging about it. I can never imagine the pain you felt and still feel so I won’t dare say that I know how you feel. I just want you to know that you aare forever in my prayers althought I’m sure you’ve heard that a million times. I also want to say please don’t ever stop this blog (at least not anytime soon) because little girls like me are out there waiting to hear about Ronan and his precious little life.

  62. What a special post. She’s beautiful. Congrats to you guys. I love that you decided on Poppy. Its perfect.

  63. Look real close you can see a smile in the dark cloud i bet that is your baby boy smiling down at you….You are so wonderful Bless your whole family….

  64. She is absolutely beautiful! Congratulatios and thanks to Ro for sending you the most perfect little girl.

  65. I apologize for not seeing this sooner. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to read the blog and came on today to check on Ronan’s day of love and on Poppy’s status. I am delighted that Poppy and I share a birthday. It is a great birthday to have and has served me well for 36 years 🙂 Happy birthday, Poppy! Each year when I blow the candles out, I’ll think of you, and your big brother Ronan, and your loving family…and make a wish that each year makes us all a little bit stronger and even more full of love.

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