Ronan. Today, I was sitting at my kitchen table pounding out emails, mailing bracelets to people, and missing you. A new email came in and it was an update from your old roommate at Sloan-Kettering, Phoebe. I still check in on her every once in a while. I still try to see her mom whenever I am in the city. We became pretty close after rooming together at Sloan and I know her mom and I both feel that the two of you had this unspeakable bond. I have been keeping up on how well she is doing and watching her get back to her life before she had to deal with that asshole named cancer. I have loved seeing her gorgeous hair come back in and felt really peaceful about the place she is in after she was declared NED from Osteosarcoma; which she developed at the age of 11. Phoebe endured so much, as do all kids who go through this, but her fighting spirit has never wavered. Her smile never seemed to dull. She is stronger than most adults but of course that came with a very heavy price. She shouldn’t have to be stronger than most adults. She should just be a normal girl, living a normal tween life. Unfortunately, that’s not how things have turned out for Phoebe, but you will never hear her complain of a thing. She has handled everything like a champ: much like the way you did.
I think we bonded with Phoebe and her mom for the first time over a bloody nose that wouldn’t stop. I knew that situation all too well. Being roommates in such close quarters, you hear everything. I think I tried to step in and help. Macy was with us. I think Tricia was, too. We will never forget it. Phoebe was scared. Her mom was scared. I did my best to help out because I had been in that situation 50 times before. I was an old fucking pro at the horrific bloody noses that you cannot control. After that bloody nose incident, we became friends forever. You died, Ronan. Phoebe lived. Her mom and I have remained close and her entire family has a special place in their hearts for you. Ellen, Phoebe’s mom, is always reminding me of how much they think of you. I so appreciate that.
I read the headline of Phoebe’s caring bridge journal today. It said, “Bad, Mad, and Sad News.” My stomach dropped. My eyes filled with tears. I knew what that meant, before I even started reading what was going on. Phoebe, after beating Osteosarcoma has developed a secondary cancer. This time, it’s AML- Acute Myeloid Leukemia. I immediately sent Ellen a text that said, “I just read your blog. You have got to be fucking kidding me.” She responded almost instantly and we went back and forth. I told her I would do whatever I could, which normally might mean hopping on a flight to go and help. I cannot do that now so I offered up the next best thing to Ellen and Phoebe which is my little Rachel who lives in NYC. I told them if they were o.k. with it, Rach would be happy to come by to keep Phoebe company, bring them treats, or whatever else they might need. They were very open to it so I called up Rachel who was more than happy to help out because she is not your normal 22-year-old. Rachel is an old soul who has such a passion for helping others that it makes me embarrassed at my 22-year-old self. She is the definition of selfless at such a young age which I admire so much. I asked Ellen if it would be alright if I posted Phoebe’s caringbride website because I know Phoebe tends to be a little more private. Ellen gave me the green light. I just wanted to offer them any and all the love and support that I have. They are a wonderful family and I am so devastated that Phoebe is going to have to go through more of this bullshit which was more than likely caused by the treatment she had when she was dealing with Osteosarcoma. I mean it’s bad enough that kids get cancer, but then to develop secondary cancers due to the treatment that supposedly saved them. That is just beyond acceptable.
I am asking you all to show Phoebe a little love. Stop by, leave her a comment, keep her in your thoughts, prayers or whatever works for you. She has a special place in our hearts here at the Thompson household and we will do whatever we can to help Phoebe through this time. Even if it means just making her mom laugh by my, “You have got to be fucking kidding me,” text. So glad to hear I was able to put a little smile on her face today. I am so glad I have my little Rachel in the city to help out, too. Thanks, Rach. I love you so.
Ronan. Ellen asked me to tell you to keep a special eye on Phoebe. I know you will. I love you my spicy little monkey. I promise to fix this. I promise this childhood cancer world will some day be better. It shouldn’t fucking be like this. This is my last little rant for the night but wouldn’t the world be a much better place if people like Honey Fucking Boo Boo were NOT on CNN? I about shot my TV the other day seeing this. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people like Dr. Sholler or Dr. Jo were getting the kind of attention they deserve because they are actually doing really amazing work. I don’t understand how these doctors are ignored. How this HUGE problem is ignored. How these kids are just ignored. I guess because it’s easier to live a mediocre life where every day seems to be taken for granted and everybody seems to care about the wrong things. I can’t live in a world like that. I won’t live in a world like that. I’m going to create a new fucking world where shit like Honey Boo Boo or The Real Housewives of Asshole America, do not exist. Because people like Ronan and Phoebe deserve better.
Bye, Ronan. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe.
Here is Phoebe’s caring bridge below. Thanks all you lovely souls for stopping in to give her some RoLove. I love you.