The signs and The stranger

Ronan. I had a hard day. I was missing you extra much today; if that is even possible. We woke up late as we have been doing during these lazy, beachy days. I had a phone appointment to talk to my therapist, Sarah. I walked down the boardwalk and sat on a bench to have our session. I told her how it was easier in some aspects to be here, away from home, but hard as well because of all the memories I have of you here. As I sat and talked to her, there was a little boy about your age playing in the sand right in front of me. He kept taking the sand and throwing it everywhere. So something you would have done. I sat and watched him and cried and told Sarah how much it hurts me to see things like this. How much that deserved to be you playing in the sand and throwing it everywhere. We had a good talk. We talked about how I worry about you and how much guilt comes with having you gone. Guilt for doing silly, normal things. I told her I wonder if you are watching me and can’t believe that we are all trying to do things that make us happy. I wonder if it hurts your feelings. It hurts my feelings, Ronan. I don’t like doing all the things we are doing without you. I told her as much as I would love to believe in the picture perfect world of heaven, with you dancing with angels on clouds with harps playing in the background; that I don’t. I’m having a hard time with the not knowing part. We ended our conversation much like the way friends do. She worries about me and told me to call for anything. I will talk to her next week unless I need her sooner.

After I returned back from my talk with Sarah, your Daddy took your brothers over to the Rec Center to play basketball. I crawled back into bed and slept for a couple more hours. I cried and slept and cried and slept some more. I did not want to leave my bed today. I wanted to stay in bed with your blanket and think about you. Right when I was trying to talk myself into getting out of bed, Mr. Sparkly Eyes called. I swear it is always you who tells him to call when I need a good kick in the ass. As soon as I answered he asked what was wrong. I told him, nothing, but everything. He asked if I was o.k. and then said he knows I’m not, that I’m hurting like hell. I cried for the few minutes that I talked to him but he then made me laugh by asking me if I was crying because the ocean from surfing kicked my ass yesterday. I then make some remark that it was the other way around and I kicked the ocean’s ass. He then said, “That’s my girl.” It was something so little but it made me feel better. For about 2 minutes anyway but that’s better than nothing.

Your brothers came back from basketball and were begging to go down to the pool with Jake and Carter. I said I would of course take them so we spent the afternoon down there. I absolutely love being with all 4 of those boys, Ronan. I love to watch them play and laugh and Liam and Quinn are so happy with them. I was watching them run down the boardwalk tonight and I pictured you running behind them, trying to keep up like you always did. You were always so much older than your little 3 years as you could hold your own as well as your brothers. At one point, I looked over and Carter had his arm around Quinn as they were walking together. Such a big brother thing and it made me tear up because that is so something Quinn would have done to you. You would love being here with all of your cousins. They are the sweetest kids.

After our day at the pool and brrrrrr it was freezing, we had Kenny, Stacy, Mac and Kennedy over to grill again. We all sat outside and the kids swam and we enjoyed our time together before we were all frozen solid. The 4 boys continued to jump in and out of the pool and hot tub despite the cold air. It was a good night after a hard day. Everyone is asleep now and your Daddy goes back to Phoenix tomorrow. We are going to miss him. I’ve got to figure out how to keep your brothers entertained. They are pretty easy to please so it shouldn’t be too hard:) I am lucky to be able to take such good care of them.

So, after a hard day I can tell you a few things got me though it. One being this silent auction that is going on at The Biltmore this Friday. I cannot believe all the community support and love that has come of all of this. I am in awe, speechless, and so incredibly proud of the way my son has inspired you all. This all came together in such a short amount of time and the donations and people offering to help in any way they can brings me to tears. I want to be there so badly, but I’m not sure if I can. One of the biggest reasons is emotionally I just don’t think I am ready. Ronan passed away such a short time ago and I feel as if the most important thing I need to be doing right now is just trying to mourn him, respectfully, and to take care of my twins. There is also that whole guilt thing I am dealing with. This is a totally new emotion for me, as I’ve never really felt guilty for anything in my entire life…. and I’m having a really hard time learning what to do with it. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t feel guilty for being at this event when it feels like such a celebration for Ronan; which it should be and  I am so thankful for that. But, I, as his grieving mama, am just not ready to celebrate him in this way yet. Please know that I would love to meet all of you who are doing so much to support Ronan’s cause and there will come a time when I can mentally be in that place, but it is not now. Everything is too fresh and raw. I will be thinking of all of you though as you all have impacted my life in a huge way. I now hear all the time about how Ronan has made you review your way of life, but please know all the love and support coming from each and every one of you is changing me as well. You make me believe in the power of selfless love and what it means to be a part of something bigger than yourself. You all make me believe that Ronan and I can change the world into a much more beautiful place. So thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this event happen all of you little busy bees out there. I just know the sky is going to be filled with the brightest stars that night.

A couple of other things that helped me though my day came in the form of some emails that I would like to share. One, I got permission to share. Her email was so sweet and I loved what she had to say. Thank you, Alicia for this. I loved hearing how your day ended. Here goes…..

Maya, Sorry to disturb your family time but I HAD to let you know what I experienced today. After a hectic day, I had to rush to pick up my girls (6 & 4 in 2 weeks) from school, rush home to get them dressed & to a reception for the team my husband coaches during his off season. We made it to the Botanical Gardens with minutes to spare. I got the kids out of the car & they took off running. Taylor (6) ran towards the venue, Ashley (3) ran straight to & through a giant mud puddle. There was mud everywhere, all over her white dress, face, hair. I was PISSED. We’re already late. Now I have to go home & change her. All that was running through my mind is how our being late would look & what people were going to say/think. I ran over to Ash & as I reached to grab her, a HUMMINGBIRD flew between us. My hand was inches from her arm & there couldn’t have been a foot of space between our chests & all of a sudden there it was. I jumped back. It hovered there for a few seconds, flew around Ash 3 times & flew off. It honestly took my breath away. I instantly though of you & Ronan & how selfish I was being. You’d do anything to have Ronan dirty some clothes & make you late. When we released the balloons for Ronan, I promised I was going to be a better mom, wife & friend. Now, here I was worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter, about people who don’t matter. I honestly believe that hummingbird was your son reminding me of that promise. With tears streaming down my face, I picked up Ash squeezed her tight & kissed her all the way back to the car. We never made it to the reception, instead we grabbed some ice cream & walked along the bay front, muddy clothes & all. Thank you, to you & Ronan for opening my eyes!

Alicia Joseph
This last email came to me tonight from a stranger but it was such a gift to me. I talked earlier about how I have been wrestling with the perfect heaven world. I swear to god, this is a sign from Ronan as my therapist, Sarah and I had a long talk about this subject today and then this email came in tonight. I cried to Sarah on the phone because I told her I’m having a hard time feeling Ronan around me. All I want is to know he is here and I’m not getting any kind of a vibe. I think right now, Ronan is trying to let me know he is here, but he is doing it through other people. Sarah had a dream about him the other night and he was smiling and waved to her. I know he is here still, I think I just have to get though this deep sadness before my mind and body will be more open to letting him in. Anyway, back to the email from the stranger that I got tonight which by the way, made me cry like a baby. Here goes….
Dear Maya:
I am just another person sucked into your blog. Yes, writing from a ridiculous unrecognizable email address.  I chose to email you privately versus posting this to your blog because I hope this message gets to you and resonates.
I lost 2 friends to cancer, sisters.  1 this past September 2010, as your baby’s fight was beginning, and her younger sister 8 years prior. Every day I ask myself how their parents go on. My friend was 38 when she passed, and her younger sister just 26. The baby and middle daughter of 3 girls.
This email is not going to ramble on about my friends but give you some brief insight on why I want to deliver this message to you. Your writing, your thought process, your profanity and your honesty reminds me so much of my dear friend and I cannot help but feel connected to you because of it.  She fought cancer for 22 years having her first diagnosis as a teenager, and bravely battling recurrence after recurrence. Her younger sister suffered for 4 years, before losing her battle.
The one thing I know my friend loathed more than anything was having others bring up comparisons of their 60 year old aunt bessie’s cancer battle, or their uncle joe’s who was 50 something, and so I do not make any comparison of their cancer, to childhood cancer, whatsoever. It would seem everyone who met her or knew her story felt compelled to discuss a friend or family members cancer fight. Enough already with it. This is your life, your reality, and your pain. There will never be any fitting comparison. Live has handed you the most cruel dreadful burden.
I am not a bible beater. This is also not a religious talk…  I get your whole dismissal of God, and though I was raised Catholic I have had so many doubts about why God would allow things like this to happen in the world.
Now that i’ve told you all of the things this email isn’t – please let me tell you what it is… I am hoping to deliver but one simple message, one which was passed onto me about “heaven” – After my friend passed away, I happened into a church where strangely enough there was a priest talking about death. Something he said, sat with me and I share it with you.
He said… heaven isn’t out there… its not up in the clouds or in some imaginary paradise. Heaven he said is a place filled with love and where you are with God. He went on to say that God is in each of us. When you lose a loved one, they are with you in the truest sense every waking hour and resting hour. I will never think of Ronan as being somewhere out there, but with you. With you Maya.
Everytime I read one of your posts about the girl from the store who said shit and caught your attention, recurring songs on your ipod, your need to run up the mountain alone to find solace, or your trip and fall on your recent run, or a flannel clad girl in the end of May who runs back and stops you in the street, I keep saying to myself… he’s there Maya, he is trying to get your attention to let you know he is right there. No one on earth has more moments of serendipity as you have since Ronan passed away.
He lives inside you, in a place where he can feel every bit of love that you could never express to him through mere words, or even actions on this earth. The place you unknowingly created for him, heaven.  Everything inside you that aches from loving him that is where he is. He is not hurting, not suffering. That priest also said that you can go so deeply into meditation that you can talk to that loved one … in the place where you truly can share your feelings, fears, unspoken words, and you will feel them communicate back with you if you get better at meditating deeply, and finding them. When you take your runs and midnight swims and you’ve beaten your body to a pulp so that your mind is sort of blank, you are getting close to that place where you can find him, at least I think you are. Its a place where you can meditate and be alone with him and ask him to talk to you. Do you think I am crazy? Perhaps.
When you worry that Ronan is out there and you cannot think he is safe or is he wandering around without you.. never never never believe that.  Ronan is trying so hard to get your attention… perhaps even through emails, postings, and blogs from random people.  Every time I read something new from you, I believe it even more. I think I have to point it out to you.
Fuck this life that you cannot kiss his sweet lips and hug him and giggle with him, or cry with him. Fuck life that you never had the chance to fight on for years even when you were prepared to. Life is wretched and miserable and I hate your families pain. FU Cancer. I am not one of these people who thinks Ronan wanted to be “with God”. When you said he wanted to be in AZ with his family. I believe that wholeheartedly. I believe that is why he is still with you. He is not about to leave. He will always be your perfect gorgeous baby boy, and I know you will always mourn and grieve his loss as long as you shall live.
For years my friend had dreams of her sister who passed away before her. The day before she died she told me that she had the most vivid dream that her sister was well, and running and laughing, and asking her to catch her and come with her. She was chasing her sister in the dream, and couldn’t catch her. Her sister told her nothing was hurting anymore.
My friend told me it was the most beautiful dream and the one she couldn’t shake because it was so real. None of her prior dreams she said had felt so real. Even the dreams that for years had her walking up with tear soaked pillows. My friend passed away the very next day. I pray those sisters are together and have no pain, and no suffering.
I am sure you are sick of cliché’s and BS. If you decide this is the biggest load of crap and you want to post it and tell others to keep this shit to themselves then I get that too.  But there is a part of me that hopes and prays you will be able to find my message makes sense to you.
When you told Ronan, to come with you and leave that place, he did it. He went with you and that is where he has stayed and where he will stay. Your soul and his will be locked together for eternity. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep writing to him, keep working towards your goal with his foundation to keep him alive, to bring hope to others, to teach everyone about undying love and devotion. You and Ronan speak to masses of people and can make a difference in this world. He has impacted more people in his short life than I could dream of in my 40 years on this earth.  I wish you so much inner peace and the ability to connect again with Ronan in a much deeper spiritual way. I hope you feel him with you, truly feel his presence. I hope he keeps giving you little signs and that you can recognize them.
-A stranger
Well dear stranger… I wish I knew who you were because your words hit me harder than anything that I have been told so far. I believe everything you just said to me and it makes absolute sense. Ronan’s heaven is with me, with his family, and even with all of you. He has left me little signs everywhere, I just didn’t know how true they were until now. The hardest part of this is not being able to physically see my baby boy anymore, not to be able to touch or hold him. I will never get over that but I have to believe his spirit is still here right next to me and someday, I will meet him on the other side. When it is my time to go. Until then, I will be sad for the rest of my life but I know that I will find a new happy as well. In the kindness of strangers, the love from my family and friends, and pushing forward to keep Ronan’s story alive so we can help other children. I want Ronan to be the voice for children with cancer everywhere. He would never give up this fight so I will do whatever it takes to support him. I couldn’t do this without all of you and I do believe the more people we have on our side, the more we are going to be able to do. So thank you again, for believing in my baby, for loving your beautiful, “perfect,” lives enough to know that Ronan deserved to have that too. And since he was robbed of it, the fact that you are all willing to continue to fight so hard for him with me says so much about the kind of people you are. I am honored to have you with us so we can continue on Ronan’s journey. I love him so much. I miss him so much. And I would give anything to have him back. Somedays, I swear I am going to just die from sadness but then I force myself to think about everything I have that is so beautiful in my life. I have to make a difference for everyone around me; not just Ronan. Liam and Quinn deserve to grow up and watch how if you live a life full of fight, passion, and love…. you can survive and do anything you want. I promise to make them proud of me too, by living our life as if Ronan is still here. By laughing about him, by talking to him, by celebrating him, by loving him forever.
Alright my sweet friends. I’m a snotty mess who needs to calm herself down. I wish tonight what I wish for every night. Blessings for all of you and sweet dreams of Ronan. He is safe… I know this now thanks to the stranger:) Tonight, I will fall asleep knowing that he is not roaming the streets of Vegas. Although, he would have made a very nice newest member of “The Wolfpack.”
G’night my sweet boy, Ronan. Tonight and every night, I’ll fall asleep with you in my heart.

And a very special thank you to my Silent Auction Fairy Godmother. Yes, you know who you are. I’m telling you right now, that Ronan is going to watch over you everyday, for the rest of your life. Your generosity and pure love for someone you’ve never even met is unheard of in this day and age. It’s people like you that make this world such an amazing place. Thank you, my dear friend that I hope to meet someday 🙂

27 thoughts on “The signs and The stranger”

  1. Wow! What “stranger” said was the most beautiful, calming thing I’ve ever heard. I truly believe everything she said. What she said about when you told Ro it’s OK lets get out of here, I got chills. He did exactly what you said he left with you. He’s in you now and you will feel him all around you soon & forever.
    Take Care Sweet Maya –

  2. I am absolutely speechless right now, I had to read this post over and over again and I am left in tears, what this stranger had e-mailed you feels absolutely true. Ronan is with you mama Maya, always, you are never without him EVER. Ronan has produced such an awe inspiring sense of love in so many people, how could he not still be here with everyone, especially with you, all the love in the world you had for him, you could move mountains for that beautiful baby boy. Such a beautiful letter. Love you mama Maya and family.

  3. Maya… every minute of the day I wonder what you doing, how u doing. Last night I looked through Ro’s pictures, and I cried like a baby. I am so wanting to see signs also, hope Ro’ will show me some. Will let you know the minute he does. My life feels so empty without him and I didnt even met him. I cant imagine how u may feel. Love u forever Maya. Ro our Rockstar.

  4. Maya…your words touch my soul on a daily basis…and I think of you and your family as often as I think of my own, hoping that healing is happening this very second. Ronan has taught me patience, he has taught me to live, he has taught me to love, unconditionally, and to not sweat the small stuff. I have two beautiful little girls, ages 6 and 19 months, and they love me more because of how Ronan has changed me. I will forever be indebted to him….and you and your family….he is changing the world, one soul at a time.

    So, I leave you with this song, that immediately came to my mind when I read your post….because you and Ronan…are quite the powerful pair!!!!

  5. What a powerful message. I hope this brings you a world of peacefulness. Today hopefully will be full of sunshine. All our thoughts and prayer to your entire family.

  6. Maya, this morning I read and re read this post over and over. Your “stranger” said the most insightful things I have ever heard about death in my short life as well! I will forever keep those thoughts with me as I continue on through my life and lose loved ones…or try to explain it to them as it’s my turn! The “stranger” needs to make that known all over the world…kind of like that movie, “the invention of lying”, NOT saying it was a lie…just that it would astound so many to hear such a beautiful take, experience, and words on death and heaven. I can see your “stranger” standing up on a platfrom holding a pizza box and a sharpie…with everyone asking 5 million questions?? DOES EVEYONE GET A MANSION?, HOW MANY WRONG THINGS CAN YOU DO AND STILL GET THERE? and WHAT EXACTLY ARE WRONG THINGS? not to take away from that email, like I said I am an complete and total AWWW!!

    And again Maya as I tell you every post…you and Ronan have touch so many people…you as a mother have changed the way children are treated by there mothers…including mine. More love, more hugs, more giggles and more kisses! More “to the moon and back” as little nutbrown hare once said… We all love you, your family and of course the ROCKSTAR himself, Ronan!
    I too am all snotty and trying to write through tears! I hope you wake up today am see a hummingbird Maya….I have seen so many the last month!

    Melissa Sager (Missi Bradbury)

  7. What an incredible post! They all are but this one was especially so. You are so real… No pretending at all and I love that. I hope you find peace in seeing Ronan all around you everyday in people, songs, and all the reminders he gives you. The Bible says that Jesus will never forsake us or leave us and I know in my heart that neither will Ronan. I’ve only known him from a blog for 8-9 months and I think about him and your family everyday. It’s ok to be sad about missing him physically but he’s in your heart forever. Keep living and fighting for all you stand for and for Woody and the twins.

    I know you are trying to help others with kids with cancer and wanted to pass some info onto you. There is a another mother who is about to lose her precious son Ben who might benefit from hearing from you. Her email is Her son is 9 or 10 and they have been told there are no more treatment options left for him. They have not told him and alot of the things she says are the same feelings you had. Guilt that you couldn’t protect from your child. Maybe one way to help is to reach out to others who are where you were. Of course, if you aren’t ready for that don’t worry. Maybe later in life nut as some point I know you will be able to help other moms.

    Thank you for inspiring us all and letting us into your world.

  8. Maya –

    I’ve got nothing profound to say… Just picturing your day and crying like we all do when we read your generously raw words. Another AZ stranger — reaching out from across the globe.

    Being in Italy at the moment, my timezones are completely screwed… last night I found myself awake half the night, laying there in silence and thinking about your son. Yes, I have a son almost his age, but that’s not what I focus on when I think about Ronan, and your unfathomable pain. There’s lessons to be learned. A larger message. And I just wish we could all see into the future 5 years from now. 10 years from now. Forever from now, to understand what it is. The not knowing is the toughest part. Why? Why now? Why you? Why your son?

    So I guess that is all I wanted to say… thank you for continued communication to all of us. And know that we’re asking many of the same questions, albeit from a far more distant perspective. Perhaps with all of us asking, God will get irritated and reveal the answers more quickly. Somehow, I am guessing that isn’t how all of this works, but I know we are all trying. Pushing. Asking. Wishing. And sending our love.

    All my best,

  9. Speechless…wow. What an AMAZING letter from a stranger. It was beautiful and I too, believe in every word of it. The soul, the spirit, is so much stronger than the physical aspects of life. Maybe Buddhism is still in your future, Maya. 🙂 It is something I am interested in as well, as I think there is something so much deeper that allows us to connect with those who have left the physical world (I get a taste of this every time I’m in a REALLY good yoga class..)
    Looking forward to Friday — constantly amazed by your grace, dignity and strength, even as you may feel at your weakest. You are an amazing, beautiful person and Ronan will continue to shine his light on you, Woody, the twins and the WORLD…through all of us who have been SO impacted by his life.


  10. Amazing! I’m grateful for you that this stranger reached out and so eloquently wrote out this email, simply amazing. I’m glad it’s brought you some peace!

  11. Maya, as always your words are so real and so raw. The email from the stranger hit it right on the nail.

    I’m glad that you are enjoying times with Liam and Quinn. Baby steps…

    Sending you peace and strength!
    Thinking of you and Rockstar Ronan!

    Will be there on Friday, and some day hope to meet you in person and work besides you to help you with this enemy “Cancer”


    Rock on Rockstar Ro!!!

  12. Maya, you are such an inspiration. You just write so raw and authentic. I am praying for your family daily. Let Ronan guide you all, I’m sure he will take yall on some adventures. Thank you for reposting that beautiful email. That “sweet stranger” wrote so beautifully.
    *With love from Texas*

  13. “stranger” is the kind of person everyone needs in their lives! I’m so glad she found her way into yours. What an amazing person she is with such kind words. Truly amazing!!!! Love you.

  14. I’m glad that the email helped you a little bit. I believe that anything that happens to help you in any way is an answer to all the prayer’s that have been said for you. I believe you have so many people praying for you. I know Ronan is always with you and always will be because you are so much a part of each other. Continually keeping you close in thought and prayer as you journey through this difficult time in your life. Always will,

  15. I read your blog to “check in” on this woman I have never had the pleasure of meeting. A woman who I don’t think, fully understands the impact she is making on so many people’s lives. There is a woman out there, reading your blog today, who knows that someone out there “gets her pain”. Your raw honesty is going to help someone get through the day today. Your writings have brought more attention to this fucking disease then you will ever know. You say you will do something to fight this cause…but Maya, can you not see that you are doing that every day that you post a blog or post a love letter to Ronan? I read your latest blog, and he is always with you, and because of YOUR generosity of sharing him, he is with all of us too. People will stop, think, appreciate what they have a little more because of what a little birdie has shared with them.

  16. Maya and beautiful stranger, you made me cry at the DMV. He is with you and you are heaven. I wish I could take some of that deep pain off your shoulders and carry it for you. I think most of us that read this blog want to. You are on my mind daily.

  17. Maya, trust in your heart, allow yourself to be still. Roman is with you! I have an uncle who had a near death experience when he was a young soldier about 25 years ago. His passing and crossing over is indescribable in human terms. He was in immense physical pain when he was pronounced clinically dead at a hospital in Germany….as he passed over he knew immediately he was in a spiritial dimension (as he described it) and he was sad for his body because it had endured so much pain. He immediately thought of his MOTHER because she was still on her way there and knew she would be sad/mad that she didnt make it in time. He said he felt the most overwhelming love surrounding him, and he knew this feeling because his MOM taught him what unconditional love was. He described it as a love so immense it was like he was a grain of sand being swallowed by the ocean. The colors were brilliant in the room, as he was still there, and he had emotion…sad, mad, happy, etc. I’m going to stop there because I dont want to overwhelm you. As these types of thoughts have so many layers…..but my point is, his whole experience began and ended with his mothers love. He recognized so many things immediately because of her unconditional love! I know you hurt so badly because you can’t physically see him. But I know for a fact that you are bound for eternity. And until that day comes that you get to see him again, know that he is all around you, guiding you, nurturing you, and continuing to grow your bond. If at some point you would like to read my uncles letter to my grandfather, who was very ill and scared of after life, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Its moving, its powerful and it may bring a very small piece of peace to your heart. Hope your day was surround with love.

  18. I truly believe the stranger is right. He is with
    you. Children stay. Ronan is there watching you
    put mascara on those beautiful lashes. He is
    in his room playing star wars with Liam. He
    cuddles with you, Quinn and Gigi falling asleep together.

    I think Friday night will be amazing!!! There
    will be many more wonderful events like this one
    to come. Enjoy your time with your family. Not
    a day goes by that I don’t think of you!!!
    Big hugs to you today!!!!!

  19. That was one of the most amazing things I have read…. Thank you “stranger”, that will help not only Maya understand but many other people understand as well. I have never thought of heaven in that way and it makes perfect sense, so many people have been at it all wrong, heaven is in your heart. Maya, Ronan is with you every day in your soul. You continue to amaze me and I too am someone who will be right by your side when we raise awareness. Your story has made me appreciate what I have in life so much more, I have 3 wonderful boys who do test me. But now I appreciate that so much more. Your story makes me want to be a better mother and I pause more before I act. I cherish all that they give me for one day it could all be gone. I cherish every second with them and I have learned from you to not sweat the small stuff. I hope that you feel the strength from all of us, we are all here for you. Continue on with your letters to Ronan, as they continue to change lives every day.

  20. You and Ronan have changed the world into a much more beautiful place. Without a doubt. So has that stranger. Wonderful, wonderful, true words. Heaven is with you. Prayers for peace continue.

  21. 2 things happened today to remind me of Ronan- the car in front of me randomly let a ballon go out of the window at a stoplight. I thought of Ro. Then, my 3 1/2 yr old son was running around, playing with his toy gun, “shooting” everything. Funny thing is, he hasn’t touched that gun in months!! He was shooting bad guys. Made me think of Ronan, again. He is truly everywhere, his memory will always live on as well as his beautiful spirit!! God bless you tonight Maya!! Prayers!!

  22. Maya~I am in awe of the stranger’s letter to you–what an amazing way to think about heaven and those who have passed. Thank you, yet again, for being so selfless to share with your readers this lovely vision.
    I will be attending Friday night’s event but would like to donate to the auction. I have not been able to find who to contact to do this. Could you leave me the info if it is not too much of a hassle? I teach kids yoga classes throughout the valley and would love to donate classes. I had the honor of teaching yoga to kids with cancer at Camp Sunrise two years ago. I am hoping to teach yoga at PCH.
    So cool that you went surfing…the pic of you was awesome! You go girl!!! I bet Ronan was getting a kick seeing his mama on a surfboard:)

  23. Wow! The e-mails you received Maya are just amazing. Just so much proof to me that Ronan is everywhere…in everyting amazing and beautiful! Stay strong Maya, you are such a wonderful mommy to three beautiful boys.

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