Oh Ro baby. Happy Easter. I’m not going to lie. It was a hard day today. At one point, I did not think I was going to be able to get out of bed. I wanted to spend the day hiding under my covers. It took me a few hours once I woke up, to get things started for the day. I was barely functioning. We planned on going over to Woody’s Uncle Larry’s house where all the cousins were going to be. In my head, I kept thinking, how am I going to face everyone? I’m way too sad. But I knew how much my twins were looking forward to it and I knew it would be good to be surrounded by our loving family. Woody and I got the boys ready and dressed and then got ready ourselves. Out the door we went and I turned my frown upside down; as best I could.
The day was spent watching the boys playing, laughing, running, swimming, and enjoying their cousins. Ronan even got a little wet and ran around as much as he could but stayed by my side most of the time. It was good to be with family on such a special day. There was a sadness in the air, but it was overcome by the beauty and strength of Ronan. I refused to let cancer ruin our beautiful day. Ronan was happy, smiling, and laughing while throwing water balloons at his cousins. Today, cancer did not win. Today, we held our heads high and enjoyed his little life to the fullest.
Ronan was ready to go after a couple of hours so Woody and I took him home while the twins stayed behind to play the rest of the day away. We came home and Woody ran out to do some things which left me here alone with Ronan for what I thought was going to be some quiet time. No quiet time allowed as I was told by him. He was all ready for a Star Wars battle so that is what we did. Fernanda stopped by to drop off some of her amazing confetti filled easter eggs which Ronan smashed over my head. She had her Brando with her and I wanted to just eat him up. Cutest thing ever. He was dressed in a tee-shirt, his skinny jeans, and cowboy boots. She has the most beautiful children and I was so happy they stopped by for a few minutes.
After Fernanda stopped by, I had texted Gay earlier to tell her Ronan was really wanting to see Cal. She then came by about an hour later with her boys, Cal and Chet. Ronan was over the moon. They played and Gay helped me get a lot of the little things around the house put away. I am so thankful for my wonderful friends and the way they are handling all of this. They all refuse to give up and are more than rising to the occasion. I will never stop being blown away by all of their support and love. We are so blessed to be going through all of this with the most amazing people by our side.
I am finding laughter in the stupidest things these past few days. Not much is making me laugh anymore and laughing is one of my favorite things in the world. Woody has put on our “South Park,” DVDs. So stupid, vulgar, and immature…. but I have been dying laughing at them. Trey Parker and Matt Stone = Freaking geniuses. I am such a sucker for some dirty, foul-mouthed humor. Works every time. Even in my numb, fogged induced state of mind.
Tonight, we did normal family things. I got to tuck my Liam and Quinn in to bed which is such a precious gift to me now. I spent today washing all of their sheets and duvet covers. Felt so good to do something normal. I love laundry and I could never get tired of doing it. It is my favorite normal chore in the world.
I thought about a lot of you today, even the people I don’t know. I imagined your faces that I have made up in my head and wondered what you were doing on this day. I imagined a lot of your kids dressed up in their Easter best, a lot of you at church, and all of you watching your kids with your love for them pouring out of your hearts because you know how blessed you are to have them and I know how even more thankful you are for their health. Thinking of you all made me happy and warmed my heart. I hope I get to meet you all someday. I would like to give you a smile and a hug and thank you for supporting our family, whom you don’t even know. I am so thankful for all of you as well.
Tonight, after all of my babies are asleep I am going to go and kiss my husband and thank him for being the best man in the world and tell him how proud I am to be his wife. He deserves to hear this everyday. He is simply the most amazing man living on this planet. I will always think I am the luckiest girl alive that the stars aligned and we met when we did. I’ll never forget our first date and how I just knew he was the one. 11 years later and here we stand, going through the hardest thing of our lives, but we are going through it together, not apart. As much as I would like to put up my walls and as much as I try, Woody always finds a way to knock them down and I let him back in. He is the best thing that has ever been mine, that Wooddawg of mine. Mine forever. No matter what we have to go through. We will never let go of each other.
Sweet dreams to you all. I hope you had a beautiful day with your beautiful friends and family. I love you all so very much.
This is from my sissy, Liz, tonight. I love you so much, Liz. This is just what I needed to hear.
Easter represents rebirth and new beginnings..how appropriate. Love you and your family with all my heart. And remember, we don’t call Ronan a rockstar for nothing!! 🙂 xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxo
You want me to give up on this? You gave up so easily but I will never. Did you forget the most important factor in your decision making? Him. He is not like other little boys. He is our miracle, our Rockstar, our gift. This is not over and it breaks my heart that you stopped believing. Miracles do happen; everyday.
20 thoughts on “Happy Easter Ro baby”
Praying constantly for miracles in the life of Ronan. Believing in the blessings and miracle of God on this Easter Sunday. Lovingly, the Lindsay Family.
What a wonderful day you all had…thank You God…more please. We had Easter dinner and family and friends over and as we sat down to dinner we could see the neighboors out the window with their children hunting eggs outside…I wonder if they realize how precious those days are?
Oh Maya, when we hadn’t heard from you in a few days I was hoping it was because no news was good news. I spent Easter crying for you and your pain and thinking that I would give my own life and health to Ronan if it were possible.
I work with Dani Kalafat in DC – perhaps we’ll meet some day if you’re in the area. I’ve been following Ronan’s progress every day since Dani told me about him.
I will never give up hope.
Love to you and your family,
maya..as always your strength continues to amaze me. you are a strong woman and will get ronan through this terrible nightmare and awful disease no matter how many bumps in the road try to stop you and no matter how many people want to give up. I think about your family everyday and am praying everyday for ronan and the day you can post that all scans showed NED and that your precious baby is finally cancer free. you keep your head held high, keep fighting the fight and being the great mama bear you are, and one day (even though it will not be soon enough) you will be reaping the benefits of a cancer free rockstar, and your family being back together!!
league city, texas
I really have no words, because nothing I can say can take away the pain or fear that you must be feeling right now. Just know that I pray every night for sweet Ronan and I believe with my whole heart that you will receive your miracle. I came across this poem, and thought of you…
Reaching Your Dream Takes Courage
Courage is admitting that you’re afraid and facing that fear directly. It’s being strong enough to ask for help and humble enough to accept it.
Courage is standing up for what you believe in without worrying about the opinions of others. It’s following your own heart, living your own life, and settling for nothing less than the best for yourself.
Courage is daring to take a first step, a big leap, or a different path. It’s attempting to do something that no one has done before and all others thought impossible.
Courage is keeping heart in the face of disappointment and looking at defeat not as an end but as a new beginning. It’s believing that things will ultimately get better even as they get worse.
Courage is being responsible for your own actions and admitting your own mistakes without placing blame on others. It’s relying not on others for your success, but on your own skills and efforts.
Courage is refusing to quit even when you’re intimidated by impossibility. It’s choosing a goal, sticking with it, and finding solutions to the problems.
Courage is thinking big, aiming high, and shooting far. It’s taking a dream and doing anything, risking everything, and stopping at nothing to it make it a reality.
Hugs to you Maya.
I am praying and believing that Ronan will receive a complete and total healing. Days may come and go when you cannot feel that God is with you but I guarantee that he is there. I pray for your families continued strength during this battle that you wage.
Maya and Family,
I work with Dani Kalafat and I have been following your blog for quite some time now and keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. You are correct, miracles DO happen … my uncle was diagnosed at 18 with cancer and then again at 21, at which time they told him he had 6 months to live … he lived for 25 more wonderful years! Keep up your faith … you are an inspiration to every parent. I continue to pray for Ronan and all of you.
With love and prayers,
I am thinking and thinking and thinking of you all. And praying, praying, praying. Like someone else said, I know it’s hard to feel God’s presence sometimes. I keep thinking of the scene in Forest Gump where Lt Dan and Forest are on the shrimp boat, and Lt Dan asks Forest “Where the hell is this God of yours?”. Then Forest says,”It’s funny Lt Dan said that cause right then God showed up.” Sometimes, and I don’t know why, God brings us so low, before he shows up and lifts us higher than we’ve ever known. I guess miracles are all the more miraculous when they come from that lowest point. I am praying so hard for Ronan’s miracle. I can’t wait until we can stop asking God for Ronan’s healing, and start praising him for taking the cancer from his precious little body. Love to you all, and prayers for all of you!
I was so happy to see the beautiful photo of Ronan by the pool on Easter. I mean, how gorgeous is this boy?! Holding the yellow flower? Anyway…so glad that you had some moments of laughter and joy…whatever it takes, right? You are such a strong and wise mother and I want you to know that Ronan is at the top of my prayer list every day. You and he deserve a MIRACLE of healing and I am not giving up hope. And I know you are not giving up the fight – EVER!! So carry on and know we love you guys from a far, even though we’ve never met.
We are not giving up on Ronan!! Period.
I’m so happy that you turned that frown upside down and went out there and enjoyed your Easter with your beautiful family. Stay strong and fight on!!!
I’m constantly praying for your beautiful lil man Ronan. I believe in miracles and continue to pray that CHOP is the place.
I hope so day I can get to meet you and Ronan as well. My heart aches for you and your family…but I have faith and HOPE that Ronan will be healed.
It’s time to let go, even his Dr has realized this.
Hi Maya, we are good friends with the Thompson/Snell family and have been following your blog and Ronan’s progress. We pray for Ronan and your family every day! We have had something to drop off to you, but not sure the best place to leave it. If/when you have time, would you be able to email me a good place to drop it by we can just leave it by the door?
Sending lots of hope and love your way. I love that you’re laughing and together with your beautiful family. Love Ronan’s glow in the picture you put up of him. Keeping him in my thoughts and prayers. Always believing…
COLE Prayer Team
I am so happy that your family got to be together for Easter. I truely believe in my heart that this is not over and that your Rockstar will win!!! I am sending positive thoughts and prayers to your beautiful family- hang in there Thompson family and stay strong!
You are the most amazing mother! Your strength is just unbelievable to me. Your beautiful Ronan stays on my mind daily. I pray every day for him and all of you. I can’t even let myself imagine the pain you endure daily, but you never fail to reassure Ronan and make each hurdle he climbs fun. You two are my heroes and miracles certainly happen every day! Keep fighting!!!!!
Ronan was born to make a difference and he is and will when he beats this. All of us who have been reading your blog have gained strength from you and Ronan. We have learned to be more thankful for what we often take for granted. As the mom of three healthy young adult children, I thank God everyday for their well being. We are walking with you and pray that God will grant a deserved miracle for your angel. Be strong and know that we all love and care for you and your family. I too work with Dani and we are a stubborn bunch in DC who will not take this lying down ! Lean on us and we will help carry you. We are prayer warriors.
Steve called me last nite. I have my Grief Share people at church praying for all of you. AND I have been dilgently praying this whole time as well as friends/family and co-workers. Ronan is a fighter and know that miracles happen every second of the day.
We love you all and let me know if I can help in ANY way.
I can’t stand you.
All you are is mean. And a liar. And pathetic. And alone in life.