Simple and Sweet

Last night we had all 3 boys stay at the RMH with us. It was so sweet. Liam slept on the couch, Quinn snuggled up in the twin bed with Woody, and I cuddled up with Ro in ours. Ronan woke up this morning and the bloody nose from HELL had returned. He has been doing so well and has not had any for months. I sat and held it for 45 minutes, trying to get it to stop. The icing on the cake was Ronan telling me he was going to be sick to his stomach and he then went to the bathroom and threw up a massive amount of blood. We all got dressed, put Ronan in the stroller while Woody pushed him and I managed to walk beside Ronan while holding his nose. We made it to the Urgent Care at Sloan which is basically their own private ER. Platelets were ordered as soon as we arrived and they drew his labs. The bloody nose continued but we all remained calm. Mimi and Papa soon came to get the twins, but Quinn wanted to stay with Ronan. The kid passed up a chance to go to Dylan’s Candy Shop to stay with Ro. Unreal. He sat with us, helped me by getting me Kleenex after Kleenex, and didn’t flinch when Ronan once again, threw up blood. You would think this would all be pretty traumatic to a seven year old, but it doesn’t seem to phase Quinn at all. He is just happy to be with Ronan and to be helping out. Woody took Quinn back to the RMH to shower, do laundry, and clean up while I sat with Ronan and got his bloody nose under control. We both fell asleep curled up on the bed while they pumped platelets into him and then blood. A few hours later we were admitted up to the 9th floor where we will remain for probably most of the week. Ronan’s ANC counts have hit rock bottom and are now at 0. This chemo has wiped him out. As much as I hate to see him this way, I just keep telling myself to keep the bigger picture in the back of my mind. He has to get worse before he gets better and the chemo is doing it’s job.

Mimi and Papa took Liam and Quinn to the movies and Woody returned back to the hospital around 7. Ronan was asleep so I snuck out and walked back to our place. It was so freezing that I had myself talked out of the run that I had been planning on doing all day. It was already dark, freezing, and I was beat but I convinced myself to just try to get in a few miles. A few miles turned into 12. Not sure how that happened….. I ran my usual route and then some. And it had nothing to do with taking a wrong turn out of the park, running the streets of NYC, and then getting lost. Thank god for GPS on my phone!! After I found my way back to our hood, I went to grab Quinn from Mimi and Papa’s. He will stay here with me tonight while Woody sleeps at the hospital. The twins are not allowed to visit Ronan due to their age and it being RSV season. We will all rotate taking care and spending time with them. Having everyone here makes everything seem o.k. and everybody is so much happier.

So, no Internet still at RMH. Writing from my iPhone is getting annoying but I wanted to share with you all our latest update. Going to leave you with something that has totally made my night tonight. A few days ago, when I was walking from Sloan to RMH, I had noticed that someone had taken chalk and written,”Become your dream.” It made me smile. Tonight, on my run in the middle of Central Park as I was about 4 miles in, I saw the same thing written. Throughout my run, this person had written the same thing over and over at least a dozen times. Each time it made me smile. What a beautiful thing to write and I wish I could hug this person. Something so little filled me with so much happiness and love. What an amazing gift and it truly does show you how the simple things in life, mean so much.

That’s all for tonight my loves. Sweet dreams to you all!!