Everything can change in an instant. One minute my baby is sleeping peacefully next to me, the next minute he is awake screaming and slamming doors. As i try to comfort him, he takes his hand and slaps me as hard as he can in the face. Shocked, I do the only thing I can do which is leave the room, go sit in a dark corner and cry. He finds me and screams over and over that I am mean. Woody comes in and takes over, working his magic on Ronan. Back in bed, the tears are hot still streaming down my face and my cheek burns from where he slapped me. None of that pain compares to the feeling of my heart being broken. Why can’t I wake up from this awful nightmare? This pain and sadness cannot possibly be real; it is too much to handle. Nobody deserves this, especially Ronan. Please, somebody, make him better. Is anybody listening? I just want my baby back.
A split second
6 responses to “A split second”
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Maya, I’m so sorry. I’m praying for you and Ronan and Woody. Big love.
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Dearest Maya, the affect this stuff has on kids is deep and strong. Your pain is great, and his pain is even greater as he doesn’t have the capacity to express, text, blog or know what to ask for. I am sure God will has already given you and Woody what you need to prevail…just listen to your heart and you will find it there. Blessings to all of you.
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I pray the Lord steps in quickly in these instances. He is our hope in all this darkness. This “cross” you bear is the cross Jesus knows all too well. He is faithful to get you through it. Focus on the cross, it is out there in the black hole of the universe, And it is in the laminin..inside us which is also shaped like a cross. If you get a chance, look up laminin on the internet..that helped me so much during my cancer struggle. The Lord uses the strangest thing sometimes to reach out and help.
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Awww. Hang in there Maya. You can do it. You are such a great mom! And Woody is an awesome dad. God gave you this challenge for a reason. I’m praying for you.
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It’s too much. I agree with you. I don’t know how we ended up here. But here we are and we won’t stop until we have eliminated every dark cell in our children’s bodies.
The rejection that Jack showed you means that he has fight in him – and you need that fight. It’s a good thing. I can say this because Mia has hit me in the face too and yelled at me to leave the hospital room and told me that a good mother doesn’t do what I am doing nor does she make her daughter wait as long as I did (I think I went to the restroom too long or something..)
But my heart aches with you and I want to wrap it up in a soft blankey and put it back in your chest. We cry inside and out and that’s ok.
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I hate cancer, too. And I hate it for Ronan. I believe he is a fighter, and I know he’ll beat this. I’m praying for your family and especially for Ronan that he will have some peace and catch a break so his little body and mind can relax for awhile (and so can yours!)
Sending my love…
Alyssa Crews
COLE Prayer Team
http://www.colefoundation.org
ROCKSTAR RONAN 
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