Ronan had a great day. We went into the clinic to have his blood levels checked to make sure they are high enough to start the harvest of the stem cells tomorrow. They are through the roof so we got the green light! I am so happy we are staying on track with things and Ronan is such a little Rockstar that he is busting right though all this cancer crap. While we were at the clinic, I quietly asked our nurse Sharon a question that has been on my mind all weekend…. eating away at me. I asked her if it was common to never see your doctor. O.K…. not never, I’ve met the man one time to be exact. This is just not sitting well with me. I can always count on Sharon to be honest with me and I got my answer. From that point on, I knew what I had to do but I wanted to make sure Woody was on board with me. I stepped out into the hall and made a quick phone call to him. I then walked back into the room and told Sharon and Marsha, our social worker, that we would like to request a change of doctors. In the blink of an eye, they made it happen. Ronan’s primary doctor, who will be taking over his case is Dr. Eshun. I’ve seen Dr. Eshun a dozen times… he is always checking in on us to say hello or to quickly look over Ronan. To me, that means the world. As a mother, I know I have to be my son’s biggest advocate and I have to feel like he isn’t just another number. He is a child, my child… not some science project. I am feeling pretty out of control about everything to do with Ronan’s situation. This gave me a feeling of control back and tonight, I am feeling much better about things. I need to know that we are in the right hands at PCH. If we are going to stay here, we have to be happy with how everything is going. Otherwise, they are going to hear about it. We are not the type of family to sit back quietly and not express the way we are feeling.
We have a very early and long day tomorrow. We have to be down at PCH by 7:30 and will be there until around 4:00 in the evening. I am hoping to get some sleep tonight without the terrible nightmares. Everyone is already asleep in our house… guess I will try to get some shut eye too. Tonight, Woody and I had some time alone. We cuddled on the couch together and watched Bill Maher. It was nice to just be with him. I am going to leave you with one of my favorite song lyrics tonight. Anyone who knows us knows that we are family that is crazy about music. I heard one of my favorite songs on the radio today… it’s by Sheryl Crow. It reminded me how lucky I am to be married to Woody.
“When I’ve shown you that I just don’t care.
When I’m throwing punches in the air.
When I’m broken down and I can’t stand.
Will you be man enough to be my man?”
– Sheryl Crow, Strong Enough
Woody is so strong. I promise I will stay strong too… for the sake of my amazing husband. I won’t let him down.