Day 5 of chemo… DONE!!!!

Today was a very good day. Ronan’s spirits were great and he smiled a lot. This is our last day of treatment for cycle one. Ronan did great! No side effects at all!!!!  We should be going home on Thursday, thank the lord! It will be so nice to have Ronan back home where we are all the most comfortable.

We spent the morning hanging out, and our friends, Christy and Jack came to visit. They always make us smile:) Woody came by for a bit and we talked to the doctor who will be in charge of Ronan from now on. Dr. Wood will still be here to guide us and follow our journey; but Dr. Watanabe will be the main man in charge of Ronan. Mimi Kay and Papa Charlie came and I went home for about 4 hours. It was just what I needed. I took a good 2 hour nap and a nice shower. It’s amazing how much better a shower can make you feel. While I was at home, Mimi and Papa worked their magic and actually got Ronan to go and explore the playroom that they have on our floor. He has been refusing to visit it with me, so this was a huge breakthrough. He painted a picture, drove a remote control car, and just enjoyed being a child. I could not have been happier with this news.

I had mentioned to my friend, Gay, that I was going to have to set up a preschool at home for R, since he won’t be able to go back to PVUMC this year. Not 2 hours later, she showed up at my house with a beautiful eisel for Ronan, along with a bunch of other learning supplies. Talk about an angel. I am so so so so very grateful for her friendship. She has such an amazing heart. I can’t wait for the day that my 3 boys can play with her 3 boys, all together again. My little M came to visit too! Her sister told her to stop being so neurotic about being pregnant and get down here to see Ronan. Marisa cracks me up. She Googled whether or not she should visit a hospital while she was pregnant and Google decided for her that she was too germy and could infect Ronan. That’s why she has been staying away. Once she was here, I told her to stop it and to come into Ronan’s room. Our guy nurse Danny, was here when Marisa was telling Mimi and I about her findings on Google and he just started laughing. He thought is was hilarious and informed us that there are a ton of nurses working here that are pregnant and that’s Marisa’s findings were wrong. It gave us all a good chuckle and I’m so glad to hear M is not “germy” because I’ve missed her way too much. I ended my night with a visit from my friend, Danielle. Ronan was sleeping the whole time she was here and I was sad she didn’t get to see him, but we sat for a good 2 hours and just talked. We talked about how funny and crazy life is… how you never know what your path will be… how things can change in an instant…how important it is just to be present in your day-to-day things….. We laughed a lot and talked about normal things too. I feel renewed after sitting with her. Her light and energy was so positive and I can tell she is not scared about what we are going through. She knows everything is going to turn out all right.

I’ve had a lot of people ask me why my mom is not here. I figured I’d explain that now… not that I owe anyone an explanation. My mom knows my reasonings and she supports me. First off, let me start by saying that if my mom lived here, she would absolutely be here. But to put her on a plane full of germs is just something I’m not comfortable with right now. Ronan’s immune system is so very vulnerable. The littlest thing could set him off for an infection. I can’t take any chances on that and my mom tends to get sick with a cold or something every time she comes here for a visit. Another big reason, and I’m saying this with tears pouring down my cheeks, is my mom is not a source of strength for me at this moment. I am afraid that having my mom here would make this all too real. It would make me want to fall to the floor and never want to get back up. I cannot bear to look into her eyes and see the pain she is feeling. It would KILL me. I need my mom to get a little stronger before she comes to see Ronan. For his sake, and mine. I want her here more than anything, but I have to surround myself with people who are strong enough to go through this with me right now. My mom is not there yet. I know she will be soon… she seems to be getting stronger everyday. Her time will come when I need her here… it’s just not right now.

I’m tired and it’s time to cuddle up with my little angel. Thanks for thinking of us, loving us, and supporting us. Even after all we’re going through.. I am so very blessed to have the life I do…. everyday with Ronan is a beautiful day.

P.S. Screw you, Cancer!!!

There. I feel better now;)

Friends are kisses blown to us by angels

I heard a great story today. A true story about a little boy who at age 5; was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. And today he is in the 4th grade with a clean bill of health. I also talked to his mom and I can tell just by hearing her voice, that she is an amazing woman. She is a fighter and never gave up hope; even in the darkest of nights. You can read Noah’s amazing story here:

It’s stories like this that I need to hear right now. Stories of survivors and people who have made it through things like this. We are going to have a story like this someday. A beautiful story about a beautiful boy who beat all the odds. I know in my heart of hearts that Ronan is going to get through this. This is just a bump in the road for our family.

Whoa baby! Ronan was so mad today. I have never seen him like this in my life. I’m not kidding you when I say he spent a good 5 hours of the day hiding underneath his blanket and growling at anyone that came near him; including me. I think he may have learned this from our last roommate, Jose, who hissed and showed his “fangs” to anyone who approached him. The nurses kept asking me if he had come out to pee yet. I just kept telling them that he was hibernating.

My friend, Niki, came to visit us today. It was so good to see her. She held me in the parking lot and we cried together for a few minutes. It felt good to get that out and to be able to look her in the eyes and see the love pouring out. She loves Ro so much. He was so happy to see her  and she spoiled him with a bunch of gifts. We are so lucky we moved into the neighborhood we did because Niki lives only a few houses down and Ronan goes to school with her little girl. He really misses her and asks all the time if she can come over. Someday soon, I tell him.

Trish came tonight and brought me dinner and we sat in the dark for about 2 hours and talked, laughed, and tried not to cry. We talked a little bit about our good friend, Marisa, who is going a stir crazy that she can’t be here because she is pregnant. She is somebody I met through Tricia a few years ago and we instantly became friends. She is one of my dearest and someone who I call on for anything and everything. I know it’s hard on her because she feels so helpless. It’s hard on me because I miss my friend. I also know that we have a long road ahead of us, and there will be plenty of time for me to call on her when I need her most. Right now, she needs to take care of herself and the baby boy who is growing inside of her belly.

I saw the twins for about an hour today. They seem so big and like they have grown up so much since I have been away. I hate that I am missing out on everything with them. The only thing that is saving my sanity is my wonderful mother and father in-law. Those two boys could not be in better hands.

Have I mentioned before that I am mostly writing this from my iPhone? So please excuse all the errors, etc…. I am so anal about that kind of stuff…. so just bear with me. Ronan gets mad if I have my laptop in bed with him. He is so bossy;)

Tonight I told one of my friends, Giangi, that I truly belive it is because of all of of the prayers and love that Ronan will be healed. I know that there is only so much that medicine and doctors can do. So please, continue praying for our beautiful boy… and pass along the word to anyone  and everyone you know.

Goodnight to all of our angels out there.


It was a Sparky kind of day

Day 4 of Ronan’s chemo has wiped him out. His counts are low so he is getting a blood transfusion as we speak. I’m watching the blood pour into his IV while he peacefully snoozes away. Still so weird that somebody else’s blood is going into my little boys’ body. Ronan has been giving all of the nurses a hard time today. Even when they just come in to check his blood pressure. He has been giving us his mean little squeal, which sound like a little piglet, and completely covering himself up in his blanket. It is so dang cute. It’s his way of telling us, he’s had enough. I don’t blame him. I’ll bet you in the week and a half that we’ve been here that we’ve seen over 30 different nurses. I can’t keep track of them all anymore.
Papa Charlie arranged for Sparky to come today. And my dear friend, Lauren, arranged for her amazing photographer friend, Sandey, to capture it all. We got Ronan up out of bed… finally… and went out into the hall of the hospital where Sparky was waiting. He also brought one of the ASU Football players with him and two of the cutest little cheerleaders that I’ve ever seen in my life. Ro was soooo excited. His little face was priceless and could have lit up an entire city. We took pictures and Ronan gave Sparky multiple high fives and knuckles. He was pretty tired so I held him most of the time but he did let me set him down for a bit to take some pictures by Sparky. Liam and Quinn were loving it. They were so cute when we put them in between the 2 cheerleaders. Trying not to be embarrassed but they were blushing from head to toe. It was a great day and exactly what Ronan needed. Thank you to everyone who made this day possible. My little tiger is waking up now and needs his mama!!

**** A very special thanks to Sandey Tenuto, the amazing photographer for taking time out of her day to come and capture this moment for us. Words cannot express how grateful I am!!!! You have an amazing gift!!******


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