August 22, 2010
Our doctors have been nothing short of amazing here. I’ll start with our anesthesiologist, Dr. Maze. Who should be called, “Dr. Amazing” because that is what he is. I was standing in the hallway the day after we had found out kind of what was going on with Ronan and Dr. Maze saw me holding Ronan and stopped and pulled me aside to ask what was going on. I had never seen this man before in my life but as soon as he saw me, and saw how scared I looked holding on to my baby boy, he took the time to find out what was going on. He asked who had done his anesthesia previously and I couldn’t remember and he said, “It doesn’t matter, this little “pupski” is mine now. I’m taking care of you.” This man has been there morning, noon, and night for us. Even when the nurses say he’s too busy to come, I’ll have them call him anyway and he is always there to do his anesthesia, hug me, tell Ronan he loves him, and that everything is going to be alright for his “pupski.” Last night he came up to check on us and sat with Woody and I and asked how we were holding up. He looked at us and said, “Are you two taking anytime to be together?” We both told him how that was not possible now. He then said, “I’m telling you this as your friend, you two need to take time to be together, even during this awful time.” He said it with such concern in his eyes that you know that this man is much more than a doctor; he is another one of our angels.
Ronan started his second dose of his “magic medicine” today. He did fine. Just a little tired and sick of all the people poking at him. Around 10 I started to get a little queasy to my stomach. Was sick a couple of times and Woody and Mimi came to rescue me so I could go home for a bit. Went home and was sick some more. Thinking it was more of an exhausted thing/being very in tune with Ronan’s body. His pain is mine. I swear the effects of his chemo came out through me. Took a nap for a couple of hours and then got up feeling a little better. My dear friend, Gay, dropped off some of her homemade chicken noodle soup. It saved my life. I ate some of that and felt well enough to go back to the hospital. Uncle Scottie is in town to see Ronan so he drove me to and from the hospital. So thankful for that. I don’t think I could have driven myself. We’ve also been having A/C issues so he dealt with that all day while I slept. Auntie Karen and Trish stopped by as well. They always cheer Ronan up. Papa Charlie took Liam and Quinn up to Flagstaff for a boys night out. It feels so weird not being up there together like we always are. But I know that Liam and Quinn are having the time of their life getting so much one on one time with their papa. I’m sure they are snuggled in bed reading books and talking about history. That makes me so happy.
Today I got an email from my friend, Susie, and it made me cry. I wanted to share it on here because it reminds me of how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I met Susie the same time I met Trish, about 6 years ago. The three of us became super close. She moved away a few years ago but that has only made our friendship stronger. She is like the sister I never had. I call her “Spicy Suz,” because she is a pint size little thing full of more fire and sass than anyone I’ve ever met.
I wanted to email you because I have so many things to say. I read your last two posts (I get an email each time and read everything). I wait for that email on pins and needles because I want to know everything that’s happening. It makes me feel closer to you to read your thoughts even though it brings me to tears most of the time.
I’m sitting in Napa for vanessa’s bach party and all I can think of is ronan. I want to come to you so bad so that I can hug you and be there for you the way a friend should. Right now my plan is to visit when we get back from our vacation but it seems so far away.
I know you won’t be able to write me back but I had to send this to let you know how much I love you and how much I’m praying for you. I feel helpless being so far away.
I know ronan is a badass and his body is going to annihilate this cancer. That’s what badass rockstars do…they kick the shit out of anything that comes their way.
I love you and your family with all my heart and I won’t stop thinking about you for one second.
With Susie holding my hand, even though she is thousands of miles away, she gives me the strength I need to do this. She is a fighter and a pistol just like me. And just like our Baby Ro.
We were moved into a different room tonight due to lots of complaining from my “team.” A.K.A. Woody, Mimi, and Auntie Karen. It stayed empty for a while but a little boy about 10 just moved in.This hospital has outgrown itself so a private room in unheard of. The nurses keep telling me about the new wing that will be finished in 2011 and they will all be private rooms. A lot of good that does me now. We have a new roommate who seems very quiet. Our last one was very loud and kept us up most of the night. Ronan is sleeping peacefully beside me. He is beyond tired today due to all the medicine and his body adjusting to his new way of life. I’m going to curl up with my angel now. Thank you all for your continued love, prayers, support and going on this long journey with us. We couldn’t do it without you!!!