All posts tagged Taylor Swift
Posted by rockstarronan on May 12, 2013
For remembering Ronan. You all are insanely amazing. I have literally received thousands of emails, tweets, texts, phone calls, blog comments, etc… about Ronan. I hope you all know how much it means to me. Thank you for remembering my sweet boy. I appreciate each one of you, so very much. If I could, I would kiss the ground you walk on and sprinkle you all with glitter. Thank you for helping this broken-hearted mama, get through this month of May. And an extra special thanks to my very amazing friends who are like family. The best kind of family to have. I love you all and consider myself so lucky to have you all surrounding me. Best sisters ever.
I love you all to the moon and back. Ronan does, too.
Thank you to one of my little Twitter followers for the picture above. So very sweet.
Posted by rockstarronan on May 12, 2013
Posted by rockstarronan on April 29, 2013
I wish this is what the media would focus on. Thanks to one of my little Tweethearts for sending this to me.
I love you, Taylor. Thanks for making my day a little brighter and putting a smile on not only my face, but this sweet girls as well. I love you to the moon and back.
Posted by rockstarronan on March 12, 2013
Ronan. 22 months seems impossible. 22 months seems like a joke. 22 months does not seem real. We all miss you so much.
Today, is also Macy’s birthday. I know you would not want me to be sad on this day. I know if you were here, we would have woken Macy up by calling her on the phone and singing, “Happy Birthday,” to her. I will have your brothers do this. I’ll think of you, while they are doing so. I know how much you love your Macy. How much we all love her. She misses you so much.
I love you, Ronan. Happy Birthday, Macy. You are my other soul mate in life. The sister I never had. Thank you for always making us smile and laugh, even on the hardest days. I always say you are one of the most special gifts that Ronan left us.
We love you so much.
Posted by rockstarronan on March 9, 2013
I have been dreaming non-stop about this petition. Woody thinks there is no way we are going to get the signatures that we need. I love to prove my husband wrong, but so need your help. We only have until February 6th, to do this.
Please, sign this. It’s legit. It takes one minute. I don’t know what else to say except I cannot let Ronan down. I can’t let all these kids down who need this awareness so badly. If the awareness already existed for childhood cancer that it is so lacking when Ronan got sick, he may not have died. I can’t bring back Ronan, but I swear to you, I will help to save the kids of the future who will be diagnosed with cancer.
Please, please, please sign if you have not, and share this with anyone you can think of. We are running out of time just as these kids are and it is just not right.
Posted by rockstarronan on January 23, 2013
My favorite line that is not even in this song, but at the end of it. “I don’t know if you know who you are, until you lose who you are.”-Taylor Swift
Wise girl. Wise soul. Forever grateful.
Posted by rockstarronan on December 18, 2012
Wishing the girl with the most beautiful heart the happiest birthday, ever. You have inspired me in such a way that I didn’t know was possible after losing my Ronan. Thank you for being such an old soul in the youngest, most carefree way, possible. Thank you for all you are doing to help fix this very broken world of childhood cancer. I promise to make not only Ronan proud, but you as well. I promise to never give up and to fight harder everyday, because of people like you.
Happy Birthday, darling girl. I love you.
Maya, Ronan and the rest of The Ronan Thompson Foundation board members
Posted by rockstarronan on December 12, 2012
Ronan. Everyday normal things will no longer exist in my life again. Not even a trip to the grocery store, the car wash, the bank, etc… Even the littlest things are different. I’ve been keeping myself busy enough because my life depends on it. I could easily see myself sinking into a very depressed state of mind and not getting out of bed until Poppy is born. That is why it is so important to me to have most of my days, planned out. I no longer love the luxury of not having things to do. Because if I don’t have things to do, I just won’t do anything at all and that is not a good place for me to be.
Him: “I know you do.”
Him: “Are you home now? Please get home. I will speak with you tomorrow.”
Me: “O.k.” I’m almost home.”
Posted by rockstarronan on November 30, 2012
Ronan. Today was one of those days where I just could not stop crying. I cried after I dropped your brothers off at school, I cried over every single Taylor Swift song that came on the C.D. I was listening to, I cried when I ran over to the mall looking for a very specific gift which I could not find, I cried when I went over to the baby girl section and tried to look at the clothes. I had a flashback to the days of when I used to ohhhh and awwww over baby girl clothes. Today, I didn’t see anything I liked and I just wanted to rip everything off of the racks. What is wrong with me? Then I remembered. Grief. Hormones. Pregnancy. Stress. Not sleeping well. Missing you. A lot is wrong with me, actually. WTF asshole mother fucker who thought I could handle all of this. All of this is way much for one person to handle. I left the mall, upset and sent my little Mandy Bee a message. “I need your help. Call me.” I told her about the gift I needed to find. She of course made a ninja plan to help me tomorrow, go and find it. She called around to a few places. Tomorrow will be better with my sidekick in tow to help out with my crisis which is actually not a crisis at all. It felt like it today.
I got a text from your Sparkly. I went down to his office. I picked up Starbucks. A coffee for him. A water for me. We shared some fruit and nuts. We sat and caught up. Our weekly little catch up that means everything to me. “Why are your eyes so red today?” He asked. Fuck, I thought to myself. I was not going to mention to him, how I had been crying most of the day but apparently my bloodshot eyes were not cooperating. “Oh, that would just be because I’ve been crying all day.” “Why so much today? Just the usual?” he asked. “Yes. Just the usual. I just miss Ronan so much, all the time, that’s all.” He knows that. He always knows that. We talked about some other things. He was proud of the advice he gave me that I listened to. I told him how he was pretty much the only person I listened to in this life anymore. He knows that too. You know what I told him today? That my life without you is full of so much pain, sadness and hurt. That all I get now are beautiful moments in life. I don’t get a life full of beauty, only moments. Those moments mean so much to me. They are like the air I breathe and I inhale them as much as I can. This is why it is so important to me, the people we surround ourselves with and the life we choose to live. The moments of utter beauty and bliss that I only feel by being with certain people. I soak them up whenever I can, as much as I can. They help me to survive this life I live now, without your sparkly eyes, little laugh and sweet lips. A life full of moments is what I am left with, Ronan. I’m afraid this is the best it is going to get. I will be thankful for those moments. I am trying my best. But I miss the days when life was always beautiful, always joyful, always full of such love and laughter. Back when you were healthy and here. Everything was so simple and so easy. I was always so thankful for what we had. It’s hard to have the all ripped away and still look on the bright side of things. Mother fucking asshole cancer. I hate you.
We went out to dinner tonight to one of our favorite restaurants, Tarbell’s. We sat, just the 4 of us and I tried to let myself relax and enjoy our dinner. This never happens for me. My mind is always wandering to where you would be sitting, what you would be eating, how beautiful your little face would have looked lit up by the flickering of the candlelight. We talked about Poppy for a while. I told your brothers once again, how I really want to name this baby girl, Poppy. They are so not cool with it. Quinn looked at me and said, “Why do you want to name her Poppy? That is basically like naming her Wooddawg.” I had to laugh at that. I told him about the story that somebody told me about the Poppy flower.
Flanders is the name of the whole western part of Belgium. It saw some of the most concentrated and bloodiest fights at the first world war .
There was complete devastation. Buildings, roads, trees and natural life is simply disappeared. Where once there were homes and farms there was now a sea of mud, a grave for the dead where the men still live and fought.
Only one other living thing survived and that was the poppy, flowering each year with the coming of the warm weather. It brought life, hope, color and reassurance to those still fighting.
In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
- Between the crosses, row on row
- That mark our place; and in the sky
- The larks, still bravely singing, fly
- Scarce heard amid the guns below.
- We are the Dead. Short days ago
- We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
- Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
- In Flanders Fields.
- Take up our quarrel with the foe
- To you from failing hands we throw
- The torch; be yours to hold it high.
- If ye break faith with us who die
- We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
- In Flanders Fields.
- John McCrae 1915
I’ve am living in a war zone every single day. I am surviving, just like the Poppy flower. If I wasn’t sold on the name Poppy, I sure am now. Who am I kidding? I think the name is darling and it truly makes me smile. It makes me feel happy. I don’t think there is any deciding until we actually see this baby girl. Even if we name her something else, she will be called Poppy as a nickname. It is already her name, and she is not even here. Now if I can only get those brothers of yours on Team Poppy. I think you would have liked the name. I think it would have gotten the Ronan seal of approval.
This is the end of your story for tonight, baby doll . I am as always, wiped out. I’ll fall asleep quickly as I have been doing so easily lately. Only to wake up around midnight to toss and turn for the rest of the night. I kind of miss my Ambien is the devil days. The devil was kind of fun to dance with. Sometimes, I miss it. I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe. Sweet dreams, little one.
Posted by rockstarronan on November 13, 2012