A basketball victory and a very special birthday.


 

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Ronan. I am so proud of your brothers and your daddy. Last night they had the final game for their basketball league, the one your daddy has been coaching. The one your daddy has poured his heart and soul into. The entire team got to play their final game in the Phoenix Suns arena and they were all so excited. Your daddy was a little nervous for them, but was trying his hardest not to show it. We all drove down to the game together and gave your brothers a good little pep talk but at the end of it, your daddy said, “Just make sure you have fun.” For as serious as your daddy takes their basketball, he never wants this lesson to get lost. That’s what makes him such a special coach. Mandy Bee and her boys came to watch and so did Liam’s teacher and your brothers first grade teacher, Mrs. Martin. It was so sweet and special of them to come. We all sat and cheered as we watched this amazing group of 9 year olds, rip it up on the court. We sat and cheered, screamed, laughed, and maybe got a little teary eyed when they won. THEY FREAKING WON the entire thing! It was such a beautiful thing to be a part of and to see the smiles on all the boys’ faces was absolutely priceless. Only one thing was missing. The same thing that is always missing from our beautiful moments and that was you. On our drive to the team pizza party, we were all talking about the game and your daddy was telling your brothers how great everyone did, as a team, and how he couldn’t be prouder. He then talked all about how proud he knows you are and at the end he goes, “Strong just like Ro.” We then all said out loud, “Love you, Ronan.” Even through you are not physically here with us, we make sure you are with us all the time. We never forget it, Ronan. You give us all so much strength with everything we do.

I remember what things were like for me right after you died. Your brothers were playing on a baseball team and it was the end of their season. I remember trying to go to the team party and what that felt like for me. I remember trying to sit with the other parents while my body felt like it was on fire and my mind was screaming that I was insane. I remember the panic attacks, the hysteria, the feeling like everything was out of control and how I felt so very lost. Last night, I sat among the other parents while I held your Poppy sister and I felt nothing but flutters of happiness. I felt so lucky to be among this amazing group of families and kids. I felt happy watching your brothers run about and hearing them laugh. But one thing never changes with all of this. I always look for you everywhere I go. It’s as if I still expect you to come running around the corner with your brothers. All my pain is still here, but it’s just not as sharp as it used to be. I am still trying to figure out how to get through this life, without you but things seem a little easier to navigate now. Things are as alright as they can possibly be and I guess that’s a good thing.

 

Alright, baby doll I’m keeping this short and sweet today. I just mostly wanted to check in and tell you I love you. Also, today is our Phoebe’s birthday. Our sweet Phoebe’s birthday and she is spending it in the hospital getting ready for her Bone Marrow Transplant. I don’t have to tell you how wrong this all is because you know first hand. Please keep an eye on her and keep her strong and brave. My heart is broken for her, but I know you will be taking extra special care of her. Thank you, Ronan. We all miss you so much.

I miss you. I love you. I hope you are safe.

xoxo

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For those of you who want to stay updated on Phoebe, here is her website. Thank you for doing so.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/phoebe26

 

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18 Comments

  1. Chelsea

     /  May 18, 2013

    Congrats Liam, quinn, and Woody! I know that Ro is so very proud. Maya, I am constantly amazed by your strength and grace. Thank you

    Reply
  2. I’m so happy for the boys for winning!! Congratulations! I’m glad that you feel happier now, Maya. That’s amazing. Poppy is sooo cute! I hope Phoebe’s transplant goes well, she’ll be in my thoughts. And as always, Ronan will be in my thoughts as well. Keep changing the world, love! :)

    Reply
  3. Congratulations on the big basketball win! So exciting!

    Happy Birthday to Phoebe! Sending hope and hugs to Phoebe and theThompsons. FU Cancer!!

    Reply
  4. Congratulations to your boys!! Awesome job. There is no doubt that Ronan was there. He saw it all…maybe even helped out a little :) I am so happy to hear the pain isnt as sharp…you deserve nothing but peace and happiness. The month of May is more than half over. You made it! You are so strong and amazing. Just like Ro!!! Take care Mama Maya. You are so beautiful and so loved!

    Reply
  5. Glenda

     /  May 18, 2013

    RoMama,

    Thinking of you and Rockstar Ronan !!
    My heart aches for you!!!
    Congrats to L & Q!!!
    Praying for more of this>> “Things are as alright as they can possibly be and I guess that’s a good thing”. Xxoo

    Always rolove xo

    Reply
  6. Erin Doherty

     /  May 18, 2013

    Maya-we all see, hear and feel your pain AND your JOY in Poppy. I am filled with motherly happiness for you that you have been able to find and feel that with this new daughter–nothing will erase the pain but now there is joy to feel. Congrats to the big brothers on their basketball victory!
    Erin

    Reply
  7. Rachel

     /  May 18, 2013

    Love you Ro. Love you Maya. Love you Poppy, and the whole Thompson family.

    Reply
  8. Lidia Giubilaro

     /  May 18, 2013

    Maya, thank you over and over again for sharing and for just being real. I’ve always loved all the special quotes and sayings you paste along with your blog, and I am always so moved by your strength that I can feel while I read your words. I love how you are not afraid to just be yourself. You constantly touch so many lives in ways that will make this world a better place. I know for sure that you and Ronan have touched my heart and left an imprint on it forever. Ronan is and will forever be apart of so many lives. He’s changed so many souls because of you, mine for sure.

    Thanks for always sharing…love the pictures and congrats to the boys for the win!

    Ronan is everywhere:)

    Lidia xx

    Reply
  9. Michelle H.

     /  May 18, 2013

    I’m so thrilled to hear that things having been going well, that the

    Reply
  10. Michelle H.

     /  May 18, 2013

    Oops….that the pain isn’t as sharp as you’d described. Love the pictures. Poppy is so unbelievably precious ❤.

    Reply
  11. Jen Brianas

     /  May 18, 2013

    Congrats to your boys…they must have been so happy! It’s good to hear you could truly enjoy their win…you know Ronan was rooting them on and cheering the whole time! He is a proud brother :)

    Reply
  12. sidra s.

     /  May 18, 2013

    Ronan and Poppy look so much alike, it’s like you have 2 sets of twins :)
    Congrats to the boys on their big win!

    Reply
  13. Sara

     /  May 19, 2013

    Congrats to your boys.I am happy for you Maya.You are learning to deal with the pain,not to leave it behind this is so hard and so right to be done.Pain can never be forgetten,it just can be lived in a different positive way.Love u all so much.Poppy is sush an amaizing and beautiful little girl.

    Reply
  14. Kara

     /  May 19, 2013

    Dear Maya
    I know I’ve said this many times but we all cry, laugh, and smile with you. And this is one of those times that we smile alongside of you. Congratulations Woody, Liam, and Quinn!!!!! I’m sure Ronan is so very proud!!!!
    Maya I am amazed by your strength. It shines through all of the time. Even on your darkest days. I’m a better mother and person because of you and Ronan. Amazing how much influence a “stranger” can have. Thank you for sharing your love story, of you and Ronan. And thank you for fighting to help save our children……
    Kara NYC

    Reply
  15. Laurel Holly

     /  May 19, 2013

    Sigh. Ronan’s beautiful face as my iPhone photograph since May 1st. It IS his month, after all…Yes, Maya. The pain does not, will not go away, but it DOES find a softer place to live…

    Your little boy has left behind quite a legacy…Even to those of us who never knew him, he fills my heart with love…💜

    Reply
  16. lynn

     /  May 19, 2013

    Congratulations boys!!!!! You both look like you played hard!

    Reply
  17. Casie

     /  May 20, 2013

    Congratulations boys :) You, your dad and the whole team deserve this victory.
    Maya- your strength, courage and love continues to shine through another day.
    Love from WA !

    Reply
  18. Anne

     /  May 20, 2013

    Way to go boys! Loved your grins. Also love Poppy’s chubby little legs. You are doing a good job feeding her. We can feel the love for your whole family tonight – both on earth and in heaven.

    Reply

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