I still love this list. How to Live like a ROckstar


 

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People have asked, what they can do, besides the obvious which is donate to Childhood Cancer, to help make a difference in this fight. If you want to donate to Ronan’s Foundation, even if it is just a dollar; please do so. I have almost 12 million hits on this blog. Can you imagine if every person that has read this, donated just one dollar? Or five? That could do so many amazing things in our efforts to support research for Childhood Cancer.

I’ve thought up a list. A very unconventional list, because it is not just about bringing awareness to Childhood Cancer. It is also about living a life that Ronan would be proud of. It is about living a life, that Ronan would have given anything for; to LIVE. It is about being the BEST version of yourself, that you can possibly be. This list will grow and I hope it only gets better. I’m still young. I still have A LOT to learn, mistakes to make, things to regret…. but as of now, this is my list. This is a list that has been inspired by losing the life of my son and trying to become a better human being, because of it. I hope someday, that I am able to live my life doing everything I have written below. This list, gives me hope, in my darkest hours.

1) Be thankful. For all that you have. No matter how much or how little. If you have kids, be thankful that they are healthy. Nothing else matters. If you don’t have kids, be thankful for your health or the health of the loved ones in your life. Just be THANKFUL. And know what it truly means.

2) If you’re not happy, change your life and become happy. Happiest people are the most beautiful. Become the happy person you want to be. Life is too short, not to be happy. Ronan almost lived 4 years on this earth. I’ve never in my life met a happier person then he was and look at everything he endured. Cancer never got in the way of his happiness, until the last week of his life when his life was no longer his to live. He was ROBBED of his happiness. You do not have to be; so stop complaining.

3) Volunteer. At a Homeless Shelter. At an Animal Hospital. At The Ronald McDonald House. Whatever you are passionate about. Just do something to make a difference. Volunteer at a hospital…. there are so many sick babies who need people to hold and love them. Get involved. DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING.

4) Donate BLOOD or PLATELETS. It’s not that hard. REGISTER to become a BONE MARROW DONER. You could help save someone’s life.

5) Scream about Childhood Cancer Awareness with me until people start to listen. Write to local companies, small companies, big companies, your favorite Celebrity, the Media, Congress, The President, The White House, anyone you can think of; until people start to listen. If there are enough of us screaming, they will have to at some point. The lack of awareness/funding is UNFUCKINGACCEPTABLE. Media is very powerful. We have to get them on our side.

6) Educate the people around you about how this can happen to anyone. If you want your child to get a Urine Test, ask for it. Knowledge is POWER. Learn the FACTS about Childhood Cancer, like it is your bible. Know what it is you are passionate about, and why. Educate people about this blog. Scream about Ronan’s story to anyone who will listen.

7) Rules were meant to be broken in life. Break down the doors. Don’t give up if you are told No. I don’t care if it is a hundred times. Nobody ever made history in this world, by playing by the rules. REBELS RULE. Embrace your Inner REBEL. Ronan would love this so freaking much.

8)  Question everything and follow your instincts. Listen to you heart as it is more powerful than your mind.

9) Take a Holiday, once a year and do something completely selfless. How amazing would it be if everyone stopped worrying about themselves, gifts, fancy clothes, on a Holiday and took the time to go to a local Hospital to drop off toys or gift cards to the parents who are struggling/sad/lonely/or depressed because their “Holiday,” now consists of living in a hospital, fighting for their child’s life. Take our self-indulgent Holidays and bring the smile to the face of a child or parent who could use it a thousand more times than you. Take your kids with you and tell them why you are doing this and why it is important.

10) Please stop to enjoy the music in life. By blasting the music you love, the loudest it will possibly go, while having an insane dance party with yourself or your kids. They will love you more for it.

11) Be inspired and inspire other people around you. Find your inspiration. Move mountains with it. Form an army. Join an army. Make something happen.

12) Get off your ass and exercise. It will change your life. It is saving mine. Run for Ronan, because he will never get the chance to run a marathon with me, like I often dreamed of. Swim for Ronan. Bike for Ronan. Walk for Ronan. Ski for Ronan. Do it for yourself and for all the other kids who will never be able to, because they are not among the living anymore. Be HEALTHY. Eat better. Stop freaking smoking. It’s insulting. Not to mention, just plain gross. YOU are better than that, otherwise, you would not continue to read this blog.

13) Get angry. But turn that anger into something positive. Do NOT start dealing with your anger by hitting the bottle, hurting others, or doing drugs. Let your anger fuel your fire, but in a positive way.

14) Pursue your dreams. If they don’t come true, at least you know you tried. Do not be afraid to fail. You should be more afraid of not trying and never knowing.

15) Continue to talk about Ronan, his story, his fight, his beauty, his life, his death…. Help me honor him by continuing to believe in him the way you do. Take my pain, of losing him, and continue on this adventure, with me. I am humbled and so thankful by all of you who continue to want to support and love Ronan. It makes me stronger. It makes me feel as if I can really change the face of Childhood Cancer because of the endless amount of love and support.

16) Love your family and friends. Cut the drama out of your life if anybody brings it to you. Stop apologizing, but apologize when necessary. Be true to yourself, your beliefs, your life.

17) Never settle. EVER.

18) LOVE with your whole heart, soul, mind and body. Make sure the people in your life, are worth it. If they are, give them everything you have.

19) Stop freaking out because your kid colored on the wall, with a black Sharpie, and then peed all over the carpet. Be glad you have a kid to create such a little creative piece of Art for you. Embrace their Inner Spiciness.

20) Teach your Children. Educate them on how lucky they are. Teach them to be kind to others. Don’t lie to them. Let them make mistakes. Guide them, push them, pull them, engage with them. Be present. Life is hard. Let them know this, without having to teach them the way that Liam and Quinn have had to learn.

Alright lovelies. This is my list for tonight. I’ll add more as I think of things. Don’t thank me for it. I had nothing to do with it. Thank Ronan. Kiss your babies. Love yourself for being so beautiful, that you want to be a part of the change.

I love you all. Ronan loves you all. I know he would be proud of this list.

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52 Comments

  1. Chelsea

     /  March 27, 2013

    I LOVE this list. You and Ro should be very proud

    Reply
  2. Jaime

     /  March 27, 2013

    He was so stinkin beautiful! Love the list :)

    Reply
  3. Love this idea…Love you Ronan…

    Reply
  4. Lisa

     /  March 27, 2013

    I’ve loved this list since the day you 1st posted it. Since then I have pursed my dream of being a nurse. I have always dreamed of working in OB. I am currently in my 3rd semester and today I saw my 1st natural birth. It was a very emotional day for me. However, I absolutely lived it.

    Thank you for reposting this, it reminds me to continue working hard because my dream is a reality now.

    AND Thank you Maya, and I wish you the very best with your delivery.

    Reply
  5. Val S

     /  March 27, 2013

    Thanks Maya and Ronan. Great motivational and life guide list.
    Val S.

    Reply
  6. Stephie

     /  March 27, 2013

    Motivational Maya! Look how happy and gorgeous Ro looks in that pic. God I hate your reality Maya, he should be here with you. So not fair! The list is perfect btw, food for thought for sure! :)

    Reply
  7. Pam

     /  March 27, 2013

    I love your list, Ronan. You have given your mama an honest perspective on life. So very thankful she is strong enough to share it and tell it like it is.
    Love, Pam, mom to a little boy with neuroblastoma

    Reply
    • angie

       /  March 29, 2013

      Pam,
      I wish you all the best with your son. I can’t imagine going through that, but I’m glad you have Maya to help guide you. Stay strong!

      Reply
  8. KP

     /  March 27, 2013

    Your list makes me think of the song “Turn Up the Music.”

    Hoping your many readers take your list to heart.

    Reply
  9. Glenda

     /  March 27, 2013

    I love this list RoMama & Rockstar Ro! Always RoLove xo

    15) Continue to talk about Ronan, his story, his fight, his beauty, his life, his death…. Help me honor him by continuing to believe in him the way you do. Take my pain, of losing him, and continue on this adventure, with me. I am humbled and so thankful by all of you who continue to want to support and love Ronan. It makes me stronger. It makes me feel as if I can really change the face of Childhood Cancer because of the endless amount of love and support.

    RoMama, you have changed the face of Childhood Cancer and RoLovers and Maya’s Mafia are behind you. xo

    Reply
  10. chrissy

     /  March 27, 2013

    Love this list, thank you. Both of you.

    Reply
  11. Sara

     /  March 28, 2013

    I will start right now to do some things that I have forgoten to do because I’ve been acting like a stupid girl that goes around and wanting to be fancy in everything.Thank You Ronan for bringing so much love and care in my world and Thank You Maya for never giving up and teaching us to never give up.You two are the best team ever.I hope some day I will really be part of this team,every second of my day.Love You So Freaking Much!!!!

    Reply
  12. I love your list too. Big changes… you are making big changes. Your words change people. Keep writing them, keep telling the world and keep sharing your Ronan. I feel so many of your words… so often… I live by this list too. I share my lovely and I hope she changes the world too.

    Reply
  13. sharon ellis

     /  March 28, 2013

    Ronan is wild and free now…

    Reply
  14. For Miette

     /  March 28, 2013

    Maya, could you please post about this little girl? Her name is Miette and she was just murdered by brain cancer. Her parents shot a video of her being transported to the stretcher after she had passed away, saying their final goodbyes, to open the world’s fucking eyes that this is a reality. It is the hardest thing to see, but it is their life now. And yours. And every other child/family’s that is dealing with or has dealt with pediatric cancer.

    Reply
    • donna

       /  March 28, 2013

      I’m so sorry…I can’t even watch this. I’ve tried, and I can’t get past 20 seconds. It is impossible for me to comprehend what it must be like to live this, when I can’t even watch the video. It breaks my heart and I’m so so sorry. Maybe when I’m feeling less emotional, I can watch this testament. I wanted to at least do that for this family and this little girl.

      My heart goes out to anyone involved with this.

      Reply
    • Michelle from MI

       /  March 28, 2013

      I am so very, very sorry for the family of Miette…devastatingly painful to get through this video.

      Reply
    • Maribeth

       /  March 28, 2013

      What a beautiful little girl, and how unbelievably open and brave of her family to share that with the world. I wish them whatever happiness and peace they can find in their new reality. Rest in peace, sweet Miette.

      Reply
    • Amy

       /  March 28, 2013

      Oh my god. This is the absolute saddest thing ever. I watched the whole thing, and I sobbed like a baby. This is terrible. Maybe this will open some eyes as to the true horrors of pediatric cancer. It’s not all cute little bald kids with bright futures ahead of them. It’s children who have to get so many surgeries, full body scans, shots, bloody noses, no life because they are in the hospital 24/7, no family and no friends because they don’t want to risk infection, and a lot of them still won’t have a future even after going through all of that.So fucking unfair.

      Reply
    • Carolyn LeB

       /  March 28, 2013

      I am so sorry. I can’t possibly say how sorry. Your poor sweet baby.

      Reply
  15. Rachel Roberge

     /  March 28, 2013

    Amazing. Beautiful. Inspired. Real. Thoughtful. Insightful. Loving.

    Reply
  16. jjmndm

     /  March 28, 2013

    Embrace your inner “Spiciness” I LOVE them all but this reallty touches my heart. Thank you for making think!!

    Reply
  17. Bridget

     /  March 28, 2013

    Your list has always inspired me and continues to inspire me everyday to help out and get involved in any way we can. I am doint my best, people seem to not want to listen because it is so hard to see and feel such pain, but if we can’t feel pain for other’s than we are not truly living. Life is full of happiness and pain! I try to do something everyday to help someone else or make them feel better. Sometimes it only takes a smile and it is okay to cry for others and to feel their pain.

    Reply
  18. Sarah

     /  March 28, 2013

    You rock. This list rocks. Ronan is a to rockstar.

    Reply
  19. Isabelle Geers

     /  March 28, 2013

    Ronan-
    This list will make me a better person. I’m going to print it out, and hang it in my room. It will become my other bible. Also, in number twelve, it says run or bike or swim for you. I am not good at any of those, but several months ago when I got into rock climbing, I always said this in my head: ” Today, I’m climbing mountains for Ronan. Tomorrow, I will move them.” I still do. When I feel like I can’t make it to the top, I kiss my purple bracelet, and think, “I CAN do this. Ro never got to do rock climbing, so I’ll climb for it.” I get strength like that from you, Ro. I love you, Ronan.
    and I promise that when I become a pediatric oncologist, I’ll think of you, and never give up on any of my patients. Please tell your mama for me what a beautiful, powerful lady she is. I don’t think she

    Reply
  20. Sarah S.

     /  March 28, 2013

    Love….

    Reply
  21. I’ve been reading your blog for months and I now have to comment. Your strength is amazing. You’ve gone through something that is unimaginable to most of us and you are trying to make something positive come of it by raising awareness for Childhood Cancer. Ronan was a beautiful child. I am so incredibly sorry that you and your family have had to go through this.. I can’t even imagine what it is like. Don’t stop the fight to bring awareness to childhood cancer. Don’t stop being the incredible person that you are.
    I love this list but especially number 11 because is resonated with me.
    “11) Be inspired and inspire other people around you. Find your inspiration. Move mountains with it. Form an army. Join an army. Make something happen.” This is what I am trying to do with my own blog. I am trying to raise awareness of the rare neurological condition that I have. I keep fighting for awareness. I tweet at anyone on Twitter who will listen. We all have to have passion for something in our lives and fight for something that we believe in.

    Reply
  22. Angle

     /  March 28, 2013

    Dear Ronan, thank you. You have changed my life.

    Reply
  23. Thank you for posting this list again. We all need the reminder. Sending you, Poppy and Ronan hope and hugs. FU CANCER!!

    Reply
  24. Casie

     /  March 28, 2013

    Beautiful, inspiring, amazing, truthful, loving…all for Ronan…all for kids !
    Thank you Maya, you’re moving mountains, anyone ready this should be changed forever.
    Your passion and strength is beyond words…you are a grieving mama on a mission !

    Love from WA :)

    Reply
  25. Lara

     /  March 28, 2013

    Very inspiring! AWesome list! :)

    Reply
  26. Great list. He IS gorgeous!

    Reply
  27. Kara

     /  March 28, 2013

    Imagine that 1 $ from everyone who has visited and reads your blog!!!
    How do we get that done?!!!!! All that money for research would be ROMAZING!!!!
    XO

    Reply
  28. Cassidy Armstrong

     /  March 28, 2013

    What is your instagram?

    Reply
  29. Nice list. Love this photo… What a heartthrob beauty!

    Reply
  30. Jamie

     /  March 29, 2013

    I love this list, and I love you too, Maya. I think about you and Ronan every day., I never stop telling people about you, even if they don’t want to hear it because it’s too sad. You are forever in my heart. My boss was asking about something we could all do together to build unity, I suggested a fundraiser for Ronan because I know every single dollar raised will go to the best cause I can imagine.

    When am I going to see Poppy’s face? I’m so ready.

    Reply
  31. I keep checking your blog daily to see if you gave birth yet. I think Poppy’s due in early April? So excited to see her gorgeous face. Also, I know unfortunately many women suffer from post-partum depression (my mom did and it was horrifying) but I think you will have post-partum elation. Just keep those knees shut for a little longer, you will shimmy that baby out and be running up mountains again ;)

    Reply
  32. beckee

     /  March 29, 2013

    Great list, thank you for putting it together. I hope that Poppy pops soon :)

    Reply
  33. Sandra

     /  March 29, 2013

    Dear Maya,

    I saw you on German television this week and afterward got hooked on your blog for hours… I’m very impressed by your strength, and reading your story has made me realize that we so often worry about little things that seem ridiculous compared to what others are facing…

    Little Ronan was very brave, and I am sure that he is in a good place. I know the best place was with you, but I am sure that God is doing all he can.

    Somehow everything I could say to you seems wrong as I have not suffered your loss, but I still wanted to leave you a little message :)

    I’m sending you lots of hugs from Germany.
    Sandra

    Reply
  34. nettie

     /  March 30, 2013

    I had a dream about you and Ronan last night. I woke up in tears. He had fallen off a boat and everybody was looking for him thinking of the worst. We were in a room waiting and thinking she can´t loose him again.. And then the police officer came to the room with little Ronan and gave him to me. When I put him down he ran to you and held you so tight. It was heartbraking

    Reply
  35. DreamOnAStar

     /  March 30, 2013

    Dearest Maya,what beautiful posts again,so sincere,so honest,everything that comes from the heart is always right,i still can’t believe you got hate comments,what is the goal to spread hate comments over someone?How is it possible to say hate comments on you? That is sad,very sad,with all the things you had to suffer,why spreading hate comments?But those who said this dont know the strenght of your heart,they dont know the power of your love for Ronan,they dont know the treasures of your heart.Your Rolovies are here with you,Rolovies are stronger than mean haters. And also how it is possible to say mean things on instagram to your beautiful adorable twins,havent they seen their beautiful smile? Those who said mean comments about your twins have to know that their smile can ignite the light of the stars of the night sky,i dont know your twins but they are so beautiful and their smiles are priceless,i wish for you three to hold each other tight when the pain is too much for you all,believe in the power of their hearts,their hearts can surprise you.And thanks for sharing all these things you wish you could do,these are beautiful advices,for sure that list can make people being better persons and always everything that comes from the heart is always right,be proud of you Dearest Maya.Feeling Ronan’s love,always.Sending love and hopes to your lovely unique family.

    Reply
  36. All I have to say is that I’m a big fan of your blog… At my school we sang a song called “Ronan” it was hard for us to not cry… I’m very sorry for your loss… He looks so precious… Keep on blogging(:

    ~Ali(:

    Reply
  37. Angle

     /  March 31, 2013

    Happy Easter Ro…

    Reply
  38. megan

     /  March 31, 2013

    yeah, you are right….

    “….12 million hits on this blog. Can you imagine if every person that has read this, donated just one dollar ? Or five ? That could do so many amazing things….”

    don’t know why i didn’t think of that before, $50 to you guys,
    better than on stupid over-priced easter eggs !!

    thanks for sharing, and inspiring, and changing the world….. xoxo

    can’t wait for news on the arrival of little poppy Popstar ;)

    Reply
  39. Amy

     /  April 1, 2013

    Love, love, love, love this list! I’m printing it out and posting it somewhere where I’ll see it daily. I will live like a ROckstar!

    Reply
  40. Heather

     /  April 2, 2013

    I saw this in the news today… any thoughts? Do you happen to know if this should benefit neuroblastoma patients? “Cancer Drug That Shrinks All Tumors Set To Begin Human Clinical Trials” … http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/28/cancer-drug-shrinks-tumors_n_2972708.html

    Reply
  41. Nicole

     /  April 2, 2013

    Love, love, love!!!!

    Reply
  42. Kendall

     /  April 23, 2013

    Hi! I get what you are feeling,and, I know it’s hard to lose someone who you didn’t think would be ready to leave for many years.I just lost my cousin. He was 28 and his name was chad. He died in an atv accident!! I am so sorry for your loss! But,remember,someday you will get to see him again!! I have the song Ronan by Taylor swift,and, whenever I listen to it,it makes me tear up while thinking about chad!!

    Reply
  43. Michelle

     /  June 29, 2013

    I just came across your blog today after learning about it from a coworker. I just started working at a childrens hospital on the oncology unit as a nurse extern for the summer during school break. I wanted to let you know how strong, empowering, caring, and amazing you are. Reading your blog and working with families like yours for just this past month has completely changed my life forever. Thank you for reminding me to be thankful for what I have and to live everyday like it’s my last. Ill do it for little Ronan and all those little angels who gained their wings too soon.

    Reply
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    @woodythompson75 Heartbreaking. Poppy needs a puppy, ASAP. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #makingoutwithafakedog #goldendoodleplease #poppyneedsapuppy #dontmakehercry #daddywooneedsapuppytoo Peace out, mama! #poppy #ronan #fucancer #missindependant #nocluewhereshegetsthatfrom #washingtonsummer #shessotinybutshedoesntknow #mylove #missyouro Poppy Tenenbaum. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #theroyaltenenbaumsnewestaddation #tracksuitsrule #littleballer #proindahouse
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