19 months and I hate cancer

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Ronan. I woke up today, not knowing the date. Then I got the little reminder of my phone that simply says, “Ronan. I miss you.” It comes up the 9th of every month because sometimes my scattered mind forgets what day of the week it even is. I didn’t have a danger day, like I used to on the 9th of every month. I miss those. I’m far too pregnant and tired to do anything dangerous so my danger days have been put on hold. I did finally get my manicure though. I decided today I would get a Captain Rex manicure just for you. So I had my fingers painted blue and silver, just like your favorite Star Wars guy. I missed you a lot today, but that is true of every day since you left here. I still cannot believe it’s been 19 months.

I did a lot of nothing today as I just wanted to make it through the day and I did. I ran some errands, took a nap, cleaned out my closet, got all the laundry done and put away. Very exciting things. I have a busy week and I am hoping goes by fast. I just want to be out of here and off to Washington soon. I need a break from this place and some fresh air. I’m tired of the sun.

Teddy’s mom sent me a text today and told me a hummingbird came to visit Teddy in his window today. I still think of you every time a hummingbird appears. I think you came to visit Teddy today to tell him that you will take good care of him. I so wish it wasn’t this way. For the both of us. I don’t want Teddy’s mom to know what any of this is like. She said Teddy is doing alright. They have him on morphine patches. I had a flashback of you having to wear those. I remember how soon they started doing nothing for your pain because the cancer just started eating away at your little body. I cry about this a lot. I wish I could have felt the pain, instead of you. I still don’t understand how everything got so out of control, so quickly. It was like in the blink of an eye, you were hurting so much. I’m so sorry I couldn’t fix you, Ronan. I’m so sorry for all of this.

I don’t have much more to say tonight. I am far too tired and too sad, to write much more. I know you and Teddy are going to be great friends. I just wish it were down here, on earth with us and not somewhere else. You two don’t belong anywhere else. Fuck you cancer. I hate you. But I love you, Ronan. I love you to the moon and back, forever and always. I hope you are safe. Sweet dreams, my spicy monkey boy.

xoxo

  • Instagram is my BFF

    #Repost from @ronanfoundation If you've been tagged, you're it!!! It’s time to… ‪#‎BeBoldGoGold‬! Get your glitter on! We’re kicking off Childhood Cancer Awareness Month with a bang & a sparkle! Throughout September, we’re turning ourselves into spicy, gold human billboards for childhood cancer awareness and want YOU to join us! Welcome to the #BeBoldGoGold Challenge! 
HOW IT WORKS:
You deck yourself out in your gold bling or glitter—jewelry, clothes, facepaint, you name it, you rock it. You head out into a public place. Talk to at least one person about childhood cancer—tell them a fact, like that 46 are diagnosed with cancer every day. The goal is to raise awareness, so talk to as many people as you can & encourage them to take the #BeBoldGoGold Challenge

Film/photograph your adventure, and tag us in it! We’re reposting submissions to our new #BeBoldGoGold Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. When you post your video/photo, nominate 3 people to carry out the challenge by tagging them. They have 48 hours after being tagged to get their gold on! Make sure to hashtag #BeBoldGoGold and ‪#‎RTF‬

At the end of September, we’re giving a prize to whoever goes all out and makes the biggest impact (aka raises the most awareness)! We’ll also have #BeBoldGoGold shirts available to purchase (link coming soon). If you would prefer to donate instead of (or in addition to) the challenge, visit: http://www.theronanthompsonfoundation.com/ & share the link. 
The Challenge starts…NOW! #Repost from @firedaughterclothing
It's almost September! Childhood Cancer Awareness Month- this is my I think 4th year working with my absolutely amazing girlfriend @mamamaya to raise awareness for Childhood Cancer, which brutally stole her son Ronan.  I was introduced to Maya when my close girlfriend Sandra's daughter was also fighting for her life, alongside Ronan.  Mia beat her cancer but has severe radiation injury.  This horrible horrible thing brought us all together and we are determined to make a difference for all of our babies.  Keep an eye out over the next week or so.  It's time to Go Gold 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 "And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate...I shake it off, I shake it off." #pearl #gettingreadyfortimessquare #nycorbust #nycgoesgold #beboldgogold #rtf #shakeitoff @taylorswift @knjoy
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