Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? That’s alright because I like the way it hurts


Sooooo, I made the mistake of watching the movie “7 pounds” tonight. I knew it was a bad idea from the start. Way too sad but I wanted to see if I would feel anything from watching it. I’ve kind of been freaking out that my medication is making me numb to everything. I don’t want to be numb, but I also can’t handle all the pain that comes with all of this. Reality check! I can still feel pain because I ended up locking myself in my bathroom with all the lights off and crying like crazy. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, I dare you watch it and try not to cry. Impossible. I also sat in my bathroom and pinched myself about a dozen times, just to make sure this is all still real. That is something I used to often do before all of this; to make sure my perfect life was real. I felt the pinches. But I wish I wouldn’t have.This whole not crying for a few days has not been good. I need to let a lot of this out and I feel better when I do.

Overall it was a good day. Spent the entire day at home with the boys and then Wood, Liam and Quinn went off to the ASU game. Ronan and I hung out here and my friend, Danielle came by for a bit. Ronan was a little shy but ended up letting her stay for a while. I always love spending time with her and she lives pretty close by so that’s a bonus:)

Ronan is curled up beside me, sleeping sweetly. There is nothing more I love than waking up with him in the morning. I usually wake up before him and just watch him sleep. This morning, I was pretending to be sleeping as I saw him stirring. He sat up and goes, “Good morning, Mom!” Then he started rubbing my head and kissing me. I cannot explain to you how little things like that make me feel. It’s the best feeling in the world. I’m tired tonight and we have some friends coming to visit tomorrow so I am going to try to get some sleep soon. I hope you all are having a great long weekend with your loved ones. Sweet dreams to you all. xoxo

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2 Comments

  1. Willits family

     /  November 27, 2010

    What a dapper Dan at Thanksgiving. Hugs to you all. We are working on our God Box for you. Cannot wait to bring it over to you all. Love and kisses.

    Entire Willits Crew

    Reply
  2. Mimi

     /  September 13, 2012

    Its incredible, reading through your blogs, from the beginning.
    It’s hard to believe what happens.
    Such an incredible young boy, mother and family.
    I look up to the sky, and always think of Ronan.
    He has achieved so much through your work, it is amazing. He will live on through your messages, and the fact people are getting to know him all over again, such an insperation.

    Reply

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  • Instagram is my BFF

    This just made my day. 
#Repost from @chloegoulden13
--- OKAY HI. So, as you probably know I am a huge advocate in raising awareness and funds for childhood cancer. Childhood cancer is the number one disease killer of our kids, with 46 kids being diagnosed a day and 7 dying a day in the United States alone. It receives next to no funding federally, and is swept under the rug because it is too sad. Well things have to change. The Ronan Thompson Foundation is a beyond amazing foundation in honour of Ronan Thompson who died at age 3. And through Taylor Swift and Maya (his mama) I've learned Ronan's story and become aware of the tragedy that is the world of childhood cancer. SEPTEMBER is childhood cancer awareness month and the colour is GOLD (official in HRM, HOLLA!🙌) and I intend to do my part. The #BeBoldGoGold campaign (created by Maya Thompson and Kassie Rehorn of the Ronan Thompson Foundation) is designed to spread awareness about this terrible disease in a fun way. Deck yourself out in gold and educate people, challenging them and your friends to do the same. This month I vow to do that... Through running. Throughout September, I will run as many races as need be to reach 50 kilometres (or 31.1 miles for all you American lovies) and spread awareness at each race. However, while awareness is great, funding is even better. So there will be a page set up where you can sponsor me throughout the month and support the cause. All money will go to the Ronan Thompson Foundation and the IWK Foundation to help kids locally and internationally, fight cancer. To learn more about it, go to www.facebook.com/chloesraceforgold or click the link in my bio. There will be a schedule, info and a place you can donate. Ronan, I am so sorry this happened to you. We will fix this broken world. #ronan #beboldgogold #theronanthompsonfoundation #iwk #halifax #fucancer #heshouldbehere Join us in the Be Bold Go Gold Challenge! Snap a pic of yourself all decked out in your gold and nominate some brave souls to do the same! @beboldgogold  I was nominated to do the #beboldgogold💛 and I nominate @mamamaya @knjoy and @woodythompson75. #rtf #empiregogold #ronan I totally have the best 11 year old in the world. #ronan #fucancer #nutellaordie #notdramaticatall @knjoy
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