Treasure each day, because you don’t know how many you’re going to be given


There was a reason we didn’t start chemo this week. It was because we needed to be together this Thanksgiving as a family. It truly was one of the best Thanksgivings I’ve had in my life. Woody and I started off the day by making a big breakfast for the boys’ and Uncle Ron came over to join us. I then headed out for a good 5 mile run. It was fabulous. The sun was shining, people were out and about, and it made me feel so happy. I came home, showered and got the boys’ ready to head over to the Kotalik’s for our Thanksgiving feast. Karen, of course outdid herself. The food was to die for and the company could not have been better. I am so lucky to call them family. We spent a lot of time outside playing football and basketball. Ronan was entertained by Karen’s youngest daughter, Olivia, who is such a doll with Ronan. She adores him and is so good to him. It was sweet to watch. I got to spend some time with Liz, who I call my soul sister. She is almost 21, and is a huge part of my heart. We sat and caught up for a long time. She will be coming to New York as well and is so excited. I am so lucky and blessed to have the Kotaliks… Mimi Kay has the best friends.

We took the time on our drive over today and each said what we were thankful for. I said I was thankful for this moment in time, for my boys and Woody, and our amazing support system.Woody said he was thankful for being together and how proud he is of Liam, Quinn, and Ronan who are growing up to be such amazing boys. Quinn was thankful for our family. Liam was thankful for Christmas to be the next holiday and for each other. Ronan was thankful for Star Wars:) So cute.

Liam and Quinn are in a Fantasy Football league this year and as of now, they are the number one team. If they win, they win 600 dollars. Craziness! Tonight, we were talking about what they would do with the money if they won and Quinn goes, “Maybe we could donate it to Ronan’s Foundation.” I wanted to melt on the floor right then and there. He is so thoughtful and kind. What a big thing for a 7-year-old to think of. It made me so proud of him.

I am thankful for so many things everyday. I still get sad about what we are going through; but we are getting through this one day at a time and counting our blessings. We finding so many little things that make our lives happy. I am trying my hardest to stay positive and I mostly get sad for Ronan, Liam, and Quinn. It’s hard to watch your babies worlds change at such a fast pace. You can’t ignore the pain in their eyes…. but we have a lot of talks about our feelings and I think that helps. I talked to Quinn tonight about what he is scared about. He said he was scared that he was going to get cancer too. I assured him that he will not, and neither will Liam. In the back of my mind, I was thinking, what do I know…. if it can happen to Ronan, it can happen to anyone. He felt better after I promised him he was not going to get it. I know he sits and thinks about these things and it’s my job to fish it out of him so we can talk about it. I feel like I’m doing a good job with that and so is Woody. I can’t do this alone. I thought for a long time that I could and it was easy to try to tackle everything by myself. But I missed my best friend too much. I need Woody and I need us to be a team. We are again; and things have gotten so much easier. I couldn’t ask for a better man to go through this with. Once again, I am beyond blessed.

I’ve been thinking all day about all the beautiful things in our life. The fact that we have 3 boys is a miracle in itself. Those 3 boys, are everything to us. I am thankful that after being with Wood for 11 years that he is still my best friend and the man I love. Some people never know that feeling. I am thankful that Woody still looks at me like the 21 year old girl he met 11 years ago. He still loves and adores me and treats me like I am his princess. I am thankful that we are still each others true loves. I am so thankful for Woody’s parents and I don’t know how we would manage going through this without them. I am thankful for all of my family. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss them. I am thankful for all of my friends. They are the truest and purest souls put on this planet. They would not be in my life if they were not. I know for a fact, that I would not be able to get through this without them. I am thankful for the pure kindness of strangers. I had no idea how beautiful people can really be…. without having agendas. I am thankful for everyday that I get to look into Ronan’s beautiful blue eyes and how he loves to kiss the spot on the back of my neck and I do the same to him. We call it our sugar spot. I love it when he lets me give him “sugar.” The days that he smiles and is happy mean everything to me. His good days make all the bad days go away. I never knew I could love so deeply in my life. I am so full of love for my family that I feel like I could burst.

It is our love that is going to get us through this. This little boy is not going anywhere. When I was running the other night I looked up at the sky and prayed and prayed for Ronan to beat this. He belongs with us forever.

P.S. To my Liz Kotalik. I love you like a sister. I am so proud of you and the amazing woman you have become. Soul sisters forever and ever. My heart belongs to you.

Have I mentioned how much I love music? It feeds my soul. Cheers to The Pretenders tonight. Love you all. Sweet dreams and all the blessings in the world.

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don’t be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
‘Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don’t know what to do
Nothin’ you confess, could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you, I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

So, if you’re mad, get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you

When you’re standing at the crossroads
And don’t know which path to choose
Let me come along
‘Cause even if you’re wrong

I’ll stand by you, I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You’re feelin’ all alone
You won’t be on your own

I’ll stand by you, I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you

I’ll stand by you, I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
Yeah

Won’t let nobody hurt you
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you
Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you
No, no, no, no, no
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I’ll never desert you
I’ll stand by you
I’ll stand by you

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2 Comments

  1. Lisa Cameron

     /  November 26, 2010

    I love that song! You still look like a 21 year old, Maya. That’s a great picture up top. I’m so glad to be able to follow your story on facebook and this site. It’s every parent’s worst nightmare what you’re going through, but you have no idea what an inspiration you are. Hang in there, and know that people you haven’t seen in 20 years are thinking about you and your family, and praying. I’m glad you had a good Thanksgiving.

    Reply
  2. Liz

     /  November 26, 2010

    MAYA! I fricken love you!! You and your family mean the word to me and my family. So happy to have all of you in my life, and can’t wait for NY. It’s going to be amazing for soooo many reasons :)
    Love you soul sista xoxoxoxoxoxo

    Reply

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    Happiness is playing in the forest in a tutu. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #washingtonsummer #tutusandmud #babydoll #theadventuresofpoppy #mybabe #luckymama This is life. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #getbusylivingorgetbusydying #washingtonsummer #gooutside #mybabe #illkeepyousafeyoukeepmewild #missyouro This little human has saved my heart. It will never be whole again, but she has put back pieces that I thought were forever gone. So thankful for you, Poppy Roo. And Liam and Quinn, too. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #washingtonsummer #allgoodthingsarewildandfree #missmyboys #missyouro #summeroflove
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