Too tired…

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To write tonight. Ronan is wide awake and we are having a party in his bed with applesauce, crackers, and gatorade. His fever is gone, knock on wood. He is giggly and saying lots of funny things. His spirits are good and he wants to come home. Hopefully we will be able to this week. Goodnight to all of our angels out there.

P.S. Tonight I grabbed a quick bite with my girlfriends, Sarah, Janet, and Kristen. Thank you for that, girls. I also got to go home to kiss my twins goodnight. Liam was already asleep but I woke him up to do so. Quinn was awake and it was so good to see him. So therapeutic. He really let me hold him and love him. It was while looking into his beautiful gray eyes that I swore to myself up and down that we will get Ronan through this. Quinn and Liam deserve to have their baby brother back home and healthy. Nobody is going to screw with the bond they have or take it away from them. EVER. We were meant to be a family of 5. Ronan is the perfect ending to our family and it is going to stay that way. So screw you, Cancer. YOU WON’T WIN.

Come on ANC counts! Come back up so we can go home!

We are going to be here for a few days. Ronan’s fever is gone but his ANC (absolute neutrophil counts) are at 0. The normal range for the ANC is 1.5 to 8.0 (1,500 to 8,000)This basically means he has no immune system. This is pretty typical after the 7-10th day of chemo treatments. They want to see his numbers come back up before they send us home and packing. It’s fine by me….I feel safe here with people monitoring him 24/7. He asked if he could go home today. I told him not today. He just said, “O.K. Can I have my Star Wars sheets?” I asked him if it was ok for me to run home and get some things while Woody stayed with him. He said yes and sent me away with a list of things he needed. His list included me taking his favorite blanket,(Gigi) home to wash it. He asked that I return with his sheets, a pillow, string cheese, Star Wars underwear, and “guys helmets,” aka, his Star Wars action figures.

I ran home and showered and Trish picked me up and we met my other friend, Christy, for breakfast. Christy even skipped church for me this morning. Bless her heart. She, Trish, and I sat and had our own church this morning. It was so nice to sit and pow wow with them. The table next to us was a mom and dad with their 2 very young children. I watched them forever and the interaction that was going on between them. Typical stressed out mom over her 2 year olds table manners and not sitting still. Dad was very relaxed and trying to help mom get the little girl to sit still but she was not listening. The mom got upset and grabbed her daughter and they left before she even had a chance to eat much of anything. I used to be that mom. Things like that seemed so important at the time. It’s only that you realize after going through something like this, that they are not.

After breakfast, Trish took me to Target and then home to help me fold my mounds of laundry and put it away. I take such pride in staying on top of these things that’s it’s hard for me to watch them pile up. I know this is part if my control issue and I just need to let some things go. Easier said than done. I’m a compulsive neat freak/cleaner.

Back at the hospital now. Ronan is sleeping. This room is so depressing. I don’t understand why they make hospitals this way. So dark and sad. Our roommate has been sitting in his bed since we got here yesterday with the lights off and T.V. on. I hate the T.V. on in the middle of the day. Drives me bonkers. I’ve pulled open Ronan’s shades and am trying my best to make this place as cheery as possible. He’s been listening to Radiohead and Pearl Jam on my iPad. He loves music. I am trying my hardest to drown out the sounds of Hannah Montana in the background. Thanks for checking in with us and loving us. We are so lucky to have all of you.

xo

  • Instagram is my BFF

    Car wash babe. #poppy #ronan #poppyrooiloveyou #legsfordays #littlelady This just made my day. 
#Repost from @chloegoulden13
--- OKAY HI. So, as you probably know I am a huge advocate in raising awareness and funds for childhood cancer. Childhood cancer is the number one disease killer of our kids, with 46 kids being diagnosed a day and 7 dying a day in the United States alone. It receives next to no funding federally, and is swept under the rug because it is too sad. Well things have to change. The Ronan Thompson Foundation is a beyond amazing foundation in honour of Ronan Thompson who died at age 3. And through Taylor Swift and Maya (his mama) I've learned Ronan's story and become aware of the tragedy that is the world of childhood cancer. SEPTEMBER is childhood cancer awareness month and the colour is GOLD (official in HRM, HOLLA!🙌) and I intend to do my part. The #BeBoldGoGold campaign (created by Maya Thompson and Kassie Rehorn of the Ronan Thompson Foundation) is designed to spread awareness about this terrible disease in a fun way. Deck yourself out in gold and educate people, challenging them and your friends to do the same. This month I vow to do that... Through running. Throughout September, I will run as many races as need be to reach 50 kilometres (or 31.1 miles for all you American lovies) and spread awareness at each race. However, while awareness is great, funding is even better. So there will be a page set up where you can sponsor me throughout the month and support the cause. All money will go to the Ronan Thompson Foundation and the IWK Foundation to help kids locally and internationally, fight cancer. To learn more about it, go to www.facebook.com/chloesraceforgold or click the link in my bio. There will be a schedule, info and a place you can donate. Ronan, I am so sorry this happened to you. We will fix this broken world. #ronan #beboldgogold #theronanthompsonfoundation #iwk #halifax #fucancer #heshouldbehere Join us in the Be Bold Go Gold Challenge! Snap a pic of yourself all decked out in your gold and nominate some brave souls to do the same! @beboldgogold  I was nominated to do the #beboldgogold💛 and I nominate @mamamaya @knjoy and @woodythompson75. #rtf #empiregogold #ronan
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