No eating/drinking makes Ronan a grumpy boy…


I broke down in the playroom today. Ronan wanted to go there this morning so I carried him and off we went. When we got there he didn’t want to play. He just wanted me to hold him. I sat in a chair with him and cradled him in my arms like I used to do with him when he was a newborn. We sat there for about 20 minutes and he just let me hold him while he looked at the dragonflies hanging on the ceiling. Looking at his little face made the tears come pouring out. And once again, the feelings of, I can’t believe this is happening, washed over me. I immediately felt like throwing up. Since this guy was born, he has been my sidekick pretty much 24/7. He goes everywhere with me, we do everything together. He is my best friend. I just don’t understand any of this……I would have never imagined something like this could happen to us.

Ronan has another scan today. Which means no eating or drinking after 10 and that always makes for a grumpy Ronan. We have to wait until 4:00 and he will have to have anesthesia, again. This will be the 7th time that he’s had it since we’ve been here. Poor guy. He is laying beside me watching Star Wars and he’s mad because I won’t go and get him any otter pops. I hate these days and I hope 4:00 gets here really soon. I just want to take my baby home. Tomorrow can’t get here soon enough.

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15 Comments

  1. Rita Dickinson

     /  August 25, 2010

    Again, thank you for being so honest and vulnerable in sharing your feelings with all of us. We are all here to support you through this very difficult time. It just isn’t fair, and we may never know why your family had to experience this. God bless you all.

    Reply
  2. Sarah

     /  August 25, 2010

    ….and again I am praying for you. I couldn’t imagine going through what you are going through, so thanks for sharing and being honest. Tomorrow you will be home!! May God’s grace and peace surround you through this difficult day.

    Reply
  3. Tanya

     /  August 25, 2010

    That would be great if Ronan went home tomorrow. Please text me, I would love to visit the trooper. I can sit with him well you blow some stream and go for a hike or to the Village. MIss you guys. Ronan is always on our minds. xoxoxo

    Reply
  4. Christi Rich

     /  August 25, 2010

    When you don’t think you are strong enough to go thru these times, remember that God is carrying you and Ronan in His arms. It’s what got me thru my cancer. I’m amazed at the fiercness that you have towards your son and this disease. You will win, Ronan will win, be sure of that. When you get home tomorrow then you will find some peace and happiness as all your family will be there to support. You are so strong and I admired you for that.

    Reply
  5. Kristen

     /  August 25, 2010

    What a heartbreaking and helpless feeling for a strong mom like you. The toughest armor still has it’s weak point, and you’re allowed that too. I hope the day passes quickly for you and before you know it, you’ll be packing up for home. By the way, my car is HUGE so if you need me to come by and drive a load of stuff home tomorrow, let me know!

    Reply
  6. Candyce Lindsay

     /  August 25, 2010

    Maya, I pray for your strength throught this hard as heck time! You are amazing and I know you will be warrior for Ronan as well. I know you all will be glad to be home in your comfortable beds. God Bless!

    Reply
  7. Chris

     /  August 25, 2010

    This sucks so bad. I hate it so much for you. I am praying the treatments will work quickly and easier than the doctors every thought they would. I am praying that Ronan will keep on fighting, but will also know when to be a good warrior and give in to the doctors and nurses. I am praying that you and Woody will have strengh beyond measure. I am praying that the twins will keep such good attitudes during this whole war.

    Reply
  8. Wendy Ledford

     /  August 25, 2010

    You don’t know me, but I am a friend of Cindy Good. I have been following your story and praying for your precious Ronan warrior! My heart hurts thinking of you looking at him and holding him in your arms, thinking of the battle you are facing. I have an “almost 3 year old” daughter and I thank God each day that I get to share with her. She is also becoming “my best friend and sidekick” (she is my only child)… so that mother-child relationship is so well understood at a deep level. I know a little bit about neuroblastoma, because my niece was diagnosed with Stage 4 at the age of one. She was an amazing girl and we were so blessed to watch her turn 11 a couple of years ago….but she is now with Jesus. God really helped our family through life’s journey, one day at a time, and I am praying He will give you the strength you need for each and every day. There is something extra special about your sweet boy and I just wanted to say hello and to tell you that we are praying for you here in Georgia. Much love and prayers to you and your family.
    In Christ,
    Wendy

    Reply
  9. Kelly

     /  August 25, 2010

    Love you mama!

    Reply
  10. Still pulling for Ronan and his magnificent family. You are doing an amazing job as his mother!

    Reply
  11. Mary Haines

     /  August 25, 2010

    Always thinking of you, Ronan and all Thompsons. You are a fantastic mom, I am sorry for your fears, but am confident in your ability and confidence in facing them head on! Your journal entries stop me in my path everytime I see rockstar Ronan update. Thank you for communicating your honest pain and path. I feel like you are keeping us all close and in the fight with you as we lift Ronan in prayer. Keep on Journaling! You are awesome. Love and a huge hug, Mary

    Reply
  12. Danielle

     /  August 25, 2010

    thank goodness for those star wars videos ;) Tomorrow will be such a happy day! Always embrace these emotions. It would be impossible to try to understand this because there is not rhyme or reason for it… just try to look beyond the present moment and picture what you want to see tomorrow and next week and it will happen for you. Love will make anything happen. And you are a mama filled with love.

    Reply
  13. Nikki Hurliman

     /  August 25, 2010

    Thank you for all of these updates. I have not seen you in years but I am watching you like a hawk through this! I want you to know that i have never prayed so hard for anyone, ever! My husband and my son also are praying hard and often. These updates are seen from all over and are so appreciated because you and your family are so loved and we all want to be there with you and if this is how than this is how. I hope that someday I can give your little one a hug because I have truely fallen in love with him. Someday…. when you are all back to normal and in the PNW for a visit. All will be good, Maya, and I admire your strength so much. I even admire your weaknesses you have been so real on here and that is appreciated by all of us who are caring so deeply about you and yours. Much Love Nikki

    Reply
  14. Michelle Bunger

     /  August 25, 2010

    Just a note to let you know that you and Woody, Ronan and his brothers are in our hearts and in our prayers. Many Blessings today and always…Michelle Bunger and Family

    Reply
  15. Alexia

     /  August 26, 2010

    Every time you let yourself cry and breakdown you come back 1000 times stronger than before. So many angels are watching over you and Ronan now. Have peaceful thoughts of going home today. You and Ronan will be so much better at home. We love you and you are constantly on our minds and in our prayers.

    Much love, Alexia and Zachary and Family

    Reply

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    Miss you already, lover. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #rideordie #mommynumbertwo @macymwood Dedicated to my @macymwood. Ride or die for life. #ronan #fucancer #iwillloveyoutilltheendoftime #lanadelrey #iwouldmakeoutwithlana Hipsters. #ronan #fucancer #middleagedhipsters #youngforever #forgotourflowerheadbands #lanadelrae Been trying hard not to get into trouble... #ronan #fucancer #lanadelrae #mymusicalsoulmate @macymwood This is my happy place. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #hidingfromtheworld #sundaysnuggles @macymwood @knjoy Sundays are for sleep. @macymwood @knjoy #poppy #ronan #fucancer #sleepingbeauty #wornoutfromsomuchdancing Just making out with my favorite homegirl. #poppy #ronan #youdownwithopp? #yeahyouknowme #homegirllove #fucancer Poppy's other mom is in da house! #poppy #ronan #fucancer #mytwomoms #thesebitchesarecrazy @macymwood A bunch of little ballers and a P-Ro, too. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #basketballislife #arcadiatitans This has secretly been being worked on for quite some time. As you can imagine, it was a very emotional thing. We as board members/friends at RTF decided it was time for the little seal logo to go. We needed something that really spoke to who Ronan was/is. This is what our amazing friends at Fervor Creative came up with after many meetings with us and many do overs. (pro bono might I add because they have such beautiful hearts) I think they nailed it this time as it shows the beauty, strength and bravery that Ronan had, in such a simple way. How no matter what, you always keep walking up that hill and fighting, and even in death, you wont stop fighting for a world that so badly needs to be fixed which is the world of childhood cancer. Looking at this makes me proud, it makes me cry, it makes me strong. After everything Ronan went through, he always held his little chin up with such dignity and pride. At 3 years old, he was such a little man who never felt sorry for himself or let what he was going through get him down. He was my greatest teacher in life and will continue to be as I carry him with me in everything I do. I love you, Ronan. I will never stop fighting for you and this fucked up world of childhood cancer that everybody just seems to ignore. We will change this, because of you. I hope you all like our new Ronan Thompson Foundation design. @ronanfoundation #ronan My favorite place to be on a Friday night. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #fridaynightsnuggles #mybabe It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. #ronan #myneighboriscrazierthanyours #thisgoesoneveryday #neighborhoodproblems #movingtoiceland
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