” I love you mama. I love you sooo much.”

Those are this words I woke up to around 4 a.m. this morning. Ronan had wrapped his arms around my neck and was telling me he loves me. That’s the baby I know. He’s still in there fighting away with his heart full of love.

Tricia’s visit

Tonight I got to go and visit Ronan. Maya asked if I would write a little and tell you how it was. When I got there, Mom and Ronan were snuggly in bed and Dad was on a hunt for vanilla ice cream at Ronan’s request. Mom is busy keeping Ronan comfortable, he loves her to read to him, scratch his head, rub his feet and he especially loves to hear both mom and dad take turns singing to him. But as Mom mentioned before, he’s mad. He’s mad and doesn’t want to say much…and that cuts mom like a knife. But being mad is just what we like to see because this angry boy has already started the fight and couldn’t be braver and stronger. So strong, that he didn’t take any pain medication all day and was refusing to take his tylenol. I want to tell you all what else I saw tonight, and that is two parents who are like nothing I’ve ever seen. An unbreakable team stronger than any words can describe, committed to fighting through whatever it takes. Dedicated to their precious son and to supporting each other. Maya and Woody we all love you, you are not alone, we are all here to join the fight. RONAN, just like his name sounds, is a WARRIOR and is going to win against this evil cancer! Mom said it right, you picked the wrong kid to mess with, Cancer!!!!

All you need is love

As I sit here writing from my iPhone, I am trying to block out the screams and cries of a six year old boy, Even, who we are sharing a room with. Not sure what kind of cancer he has but he’s 2 weeks into treatment. His tummy is hurting, his legs are hurting and he wants to know why he has to take so much medicine. I hear the desperation in his mom’s voice and know her pain. I’m waiting to wake up from this nightmare because this can’t possibly be real.
Ronan is sleeping peacefully beside me, knocked out from the benadryl and tylenol with codeine. His body is twitching and I wonder what he is feeling. I hope he is dreaming about playing baseball or chasing his brothers. I would give anything to trade places with my baby. He has never done a thing wrong in his life and so does not deserve this pain.

Being alone during these nights I find myself looking back at my life before this. It was so perfect it was unreal. Did I take too much for granted?Absolutely. While I was home today I walked into my closet and was immediately filled with embarrassment and shame. All those clothes, shoes, purses…. and for what? None of that matters. None of that is real happiness.
Once we get through this and are home with Ronan, I have a new plan for how I will live my life with my beautiful family. A new life for all of us full of wanting and needing nothing except for the love of family and friends that surround us. Good night to all my sweet angels out there who are cheering us on. I love you all so much.

  • Instagram is my BFF

    Hipsters. #ronan #fucancer #middleagedhipsters #youngforever #forgotourflowerheadbands #lanadelrae Been trying hard not to get into trouble... #ronan #fucancer #lanadelrae #mymusicalsoulmate @macymwood This is my happy place. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #hidingfromtheworld #sundaysnuggles @macymwood @knjoy Sundays are for sleep. @macymwood @knjoy #poppy #ronan #fucancer #sleepingbeauty #wornoutfromsomuchdancing Just making out with my favorite homegirl. #poppy #ronan #youdownwithopp? #yeahyouknowme #homegirllove #fucancer Poppy's other mom is in da house! #poppy #ronan #fucancer #mytwomoms #thesebitchesarecrazy @macymwood A bunch of little ballers and a P-Ro, too. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #basketballislife #arcadiatitans This has secretly been being worked on for quite some time. As you can imagine, it was a very emotional thing. We as board members/friends at RTF decided it was time for the little seal logo to go. We needed something that really spoke to who Ronan was/is. This is what our amazing friends at Fervor Creative came up with after many meetings with us and many do overs. (pro bono might I add because they have such beautiful hearts) I think they nailed it this time as it shows the beauty, strength and bravery that Ronan had, in such a simple way. How no matter what, you always keep walking up that hill and fighting, and even in death, you wont stop fighting for a world that so badly needs to be fixed which is the world of childhood cancer. Looking at this makes me proud, it makes me cry, it makes me strong. After everything Ronan went through, he always held his little chin up with such dignity and pride. At 3 years old, he was such a little man who never felt sorry for himself or let what he was going through get him down. He was my greatest teacher in life and will continue to be as I carry him with me in everything I do. I love you, Ronan. I will never stop fighting for you and this fucked up world of childhood cancer that everybody just seems to ignore. We will change this, because of you. I hope you all like our new Ronan Thompson Foundation design. @ronanfoundation #ronan My favorite place to be on a Friday night. #poppy #ronan #fucancer #fridaynightsnuggles #mybabe It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. #ronan #myneighboriscrazierthanyours #thisgoesoneveryday #neighborhoodproblems #movingtoiceland Poppy a.k.a the human garbage disposal. The girl loves her food. #poppy #ronan #avacadohummus #flowerchild @knjoy It was visit sissy at work day! #poppy #ronan #fucancer #flowerchild @knjoy
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